ATF,
You mentioned working on your live game. Is the SPYpe/Skype burn a standard line?

Thanks goofy.

I think shortening your eyebrows would do a lot, too, not that it sounds like you're struggling with looks.

Really though a $.50 plastic comb and some clippers and it takes about ten seconds and really can't screw it up.

Tubbs,

Nothing gets their panties wetter than me talking about my backdoor exploits.

Pay,

"I think just being 6'4, in ridiculous shape, and being a positive person will get you very far."

What goofy said. You are a decent looking 6'4 young white dude in great shape w/ a job in finance. Your profile doesn't really matter as long as it and your messages aren't ******ed. As some have commented, I think a few minor style changes w/ clothes, hair etc and getting a couple of better/new pics can prob help take you to the next level, but overall you're already the prototype of a guy who online dating should be like homerun derby batting practice. Congrats on lucking out at life!

Holy **** I have another PhD on the hook. 28 and 6'1. She's also qualifying herself. Are highly educated women normally this insecure?

I'll bet a lot of highly-educated people, in general, are very literal. So when you lay out the list of qualifications, they might think it's a good idea to demonstrate that they meet those qualifications. Alternatively, they might think that it's kind of meta-funny to act as if those are formal qualifications.

I wouldn't default to it being a sign of insecurity. But by all means, feel free to over-analyze!

No, that they're taking it literally or having fun with it makes complete sense.

However the current one is essentially asking me if I'm okay with the fact that she's quirky and can take a while to open up.

Wow. She's you with far less nutty insecurity. You've just found your soulmate. Go with it and validate her like you'd like a girl to validate you and you will be gold.

Just name your first kid "Truth" in honor of my advice. Thanks.

ATF,

Please define exactly what you mean by "qualifying herself."

Paste:
a) the relevant parts of your profile where you write re: the "qualifications"
and
b) exactly what she wrote

My suspicion is she just responded to your profile in a totally normal manner.

El D,

The 28 yo is from POF. My profile there is garbage. The 42 yo is from OKC and there I get complements on my profile. In the case of the latter her opening made a point to say she met my "qualifications". I'm probably conveying it incorrectly though, she didn't go through it point by point making a case for herself. She basically mentioned that she thinks she meets my qualifications, reached for commonality, noted that she's nearby, and then asked me out.

I Aside from the white undershirt on black shirt, is my wardrobe that poor? Golf clothes are standard, and the last photo is me at a basketball game. The hair is already changed up, and I got rid of the white tee wardrobe issue. I'm gonna add some new pics this week. I do have nice clothes bc of my job, just never really get caught in pics

FWIW If I were to be honest with myself, my appearance / profile betrays my personality. I think these women are expecting an extremely confident alpha male with an intellectual side and sharp wit when what they get is a goofy **** up that doesn't take much if anything very serious. Working on faking it though!

Your wardrobe is fine. No girl is going to have issues with anything. Ten pictures of you in a polo shirt and two pictures of you in [more] golf swag is kinda funny but not enough to care.

Pay: Nothing stood out as terrible. I'm just saying that if you wanted to, you could step it up a level in terms of stylishness and that would prob help you get even more elite girls. I don't think your current attire in pics is hurting you, I just think you could take it up a notch or two is all.


ATF: "She basically mentioned that she thinks she meets my qualifications, reached for commonality, noted that she's nearby, and then asked me out." That is just totally normal interaction, not "WTF wow insecure!!!"

I learned a long time ago that honest people tend to think most people are honest, and BS'ers tend to think that most people are BS'ers. Still, though, I can't dismiss your opinion on this, because under closer scrutiny, it really is tough to believe when you think about it.

Great post, thanks. The celebratory high-five thing will be tough, though, as I'll be there to route for the road team.

(Was the root/route meme from THIS thread? I can't recall now.)

PhD #2 was like "well if you like quirky girls who are shy, sure..". That smacks of some degree of insecurity. The equivalent for myself would be "if you like weirdos with massive social anxiety, sure..."

PhD #1 showed serious interest in her opener. That's why I was pretty confident that she would respond even though my reply could have been better.

And attractive, highly educated women opening with me and / or expressing interest in meeting me is not my "normal interaction" so... pardon me for being a little surprised by it all.

You don't think "Clown" would be more fitting?

This doesn't make either side correct, though.

I have a date set up for Friday. The girl is under 21 so that makes it a little tougher. Need some Dating Logistics 101. I said dinner in case she can't drink

I have a studio apartment close to bars. Do we want to be like 6 blocks away or might it be better to have a longer walk/possibility to hop back toward my apartment. There are enough bars that are roughly 6 blocks away to do some hopping anyway. I'm planning to have some alcohol at home either way.

When I show up do I sit at the bar and wait for her or get a table? order a drink or wait? order a drink with dinner even if she can't/doesn't drink? Do I want to make sure there is no wait for dinner or could that be good in case it's going really badly + girl show up much worse looking than picture and I'm not into her(possibility since she only had one pic, but she didn't look very fat in it).

If dinner goes well and she can't drink should I suggest coming back to my place to drink or should we play pool or something in between? Should I try to sneak her drinks at the bar? Should I text asking her if she has a fake?

wow thats a lot of questions but having expectations of drinking at the bar seems like a horrible idea

Bob,

We need to party, man.

Those statements aren't equivalent at all. Shy and quirky aren't necessarily bad things and it doesn't mean she's insecure. Maybe she is actually trying to find a good match for her personality. Maybe she is actually shy and quirky. Maybe the other girl was actually 40. Maybe the other girl had actually been on a dozen dates in two years.

Don't you recognize this pattern you keep repeating? Stop judging every little thing.

I'm not judging, Sly. I'm over-analyzing. With that said, if I linked a transcript where I mentioned that I was quirky and shy you guys likely would be scolding me to sound more confident, etc.

ETA: The 42 yo sent two sequential messages, the second one to apologize for spelling errors in the first. Insecurity, in yo face.

ATF,

Quirky and shy can be cute and endearing characteristics for a woman, but usually much less so for a guy.