I thought the same thing, El D, and last night, before reading your post, I did just that, reaching out to four girls your way, and two girls my way (those two live too far away for a long-term, and are kind of "out of my league", ie, longshots; but they live in tiny, tiny towns with populations <2000, and I'm hoping that maybe they're not getting much play being so far from the real world). We'll see how that turns out. Those messages went out at about 2 AM local time, and I got one incoherent reply to one of the "normal" messages at 3:30 from a girl who works day shift, so she may have been drunk. She promises to get back to me after getting some more zzzz's.

Amazin, for most of my life, I'd prefer a steady relationship over the single life, and would settle for any girl who would have me. But I'm just now stepping out of my old, obese body, and getting noticed by women for the first time, and I kinda like it. Maybe this will lead to a few months of "sowing my royal oats" and I'll get over it and back to my old ways, we'll see.

Also, just broke up with a girl a few weeks ago, and whenever that happens, I get bitter and turn into Sam Kinison. "I am just going to treat women like toilet paper!" Again, I get over it after a while, but I'm firmly stuck there right this moment.

What do you think of using the phrase "give it up" to refer to sex?

if you had to come up with 3 characterists everyone should try to portray in these profiles what would they be?

mine would be something like:
1. not clingy/weird
2. successful
3. socialable

what are yours, anybody?

or if anybody could post a link to a few or even just one good, successful profile i would absolutely love to read it. tytyty.

I fascinate you, huh?

In all the cases I mentioned, they clearly WANTED to have sex the first night, but held it back, because they felt they had to reason to make us both wait for what we both wanted.

The second night, that all flew out the window. They abandoned the concerns they held the first night. They gave it up.

"He gave it up" is a phrase from NYPD Blue, referring to a perp or a witness who wouldn't talk at first, but the cops got them to "give it up". I don't think I've heard it anywhere else, and I'm sure I've never used before the post we're now discussing.

Thanks, that's certainly an opinion on the phrase "give it up"!

1) breathing
2) not deformed
3) disease free

A big part of online dating, I feel, is figuring out the demographic of women that you're going to attract. When I compare my "sent" column to my visitor list (OKC), it's obvious that I'm going after the wrong type. In any case, I'm not having a ton of success. I deleted most of my profile thinking that I'll rewrite it, but I'm feeling pretty frustrated with the whole thing.

YTF: Haven't read your posts, so I don't know what you're doing to bed these women. If you're using lines from a book or putting on a persona or w/e, I don't see the harm. Seems like a lot of people go through that phase in their late teens or early-20s. Maybe you just have to get it out of your system.

I had no game in my late teens or early 20s. I was "the nice guy", I had zero confidence, I was everything they WEREN'T looking for in a man.

Yeah, I'm using lines from a book, but the "persona" is still me.

Whats this system you speak of? I so far got one phone number and the girl is sketchy when it comes to arranging a date so I'm about done with her.

Don't get yourself into a situation like that on a first date. You need to be sitting close comfortably. Find a relaxed bar or lounge and scope it out in advance if you've never been there.

Me too! So much better.

Yea you need to touch to get comfortable with each other. Should I write a "first date advice" poast? I think I should.

Can't hurt.

I think it's bad to go into a date with a plan of how you're going to escalate. You'll be in your head too much and miss cues. Just get out of your head, be relaxed and go with the flow. Chances are if it feels right to touch her, then she'll be receptive, so go ahead and do it.

The more I talk to these girls, the more I find that most people that do online dating don't understand how to dress on dates. I assume that for all of you, your standard is dress shirt+jeans? I've heard stories about guys showing up in hoodies, shorts, t-shirts, suits (lol?), and all sorts of other random crap.

Just decided to stop seeing this one girl I've gone out with a handful (6-7) times because I didn't feel like we were clicking on on an intellectual level, even though we were clicking on a physical level- each time we went out, it got more and more awkward because I felt like I should know her better given how many times we had seen each other.

Also had a really awkward date with a girl that showed up nothing like her pictures, called me a bad person fewer than 15 minutes into the date, then essentially proceeded to beg for a meal (not exactly, but it certainly wasn't flattering in any way). I ended up not paying for her (this is the first time I've ever done this, and probably one of the only scenarios in which I'd do it).

Had a very successful third date last night. She is very outgoing (I like this in a woman) and a great conversationalist, but can sometimes just be a bit too women's rights-y. We went to a bar, had a few drinks, went to a rooftop bar for another drink, then went back to my place, where she ended up spending the night. Tonight, I have a first date with a pretty attractive Asian girl who messaged me first the other day. I have a good feeling about this one for some reason- she seems like my type for sure.

What was the context for her calling you a bad person?

Also, what is too women's rights-y? Does that simply mean she's too political for you?

Did the women's rights chick basically demand that she pay her share of stuff? If not, then she's FOS.

The awesome thing about NZ compared to the USA is that the women are actual feminists and sometimes get pissed when you pay for their drinks or hold doors for them, and not the fake kind who want all the rights for women and want to hold onto all the double standards that benefit them too.

Dress shirt + jeans or chinos is my go to outfit. It amazes me that there are droves of guys either way or overdressed or underdressed. It doesn't seem like a difficult thing to get right.

I don't think that it's women's rights that make women act differently from non-US women.

The whole door holding/paying for females type stuff is more chivalrous and huge in the southern US, and its common/accepted throughout the states. It's just so common that women expect it, and they are spoiled to getting what they want, which in turn, this allows them to feel that they can act however they want.

I'm engaged to a euro, and she's never dated or been with anyone that insisted on paying, even in her 3 year relationship, she paid for herself mainly. It's just not as common there.

Non-US women are just on a different level. They're raised right.

lol and what would you recommend

Seems like a high variance observation given personal styles and difference in venues

We were talking about cyclists and I made some comment about how they annoy me when I drive.

Nah, it means that she talks about sexism and **** a fair amount (has brought it up multiple times in the 3 dates we've been on). It's not a deal breaker or anything, but it's not really something I enjoy discussing. She made a comment about how it sometimes annoys her when guys insist on paying, so I just had her buy the rest of my drinks. She seemed satisfied with that.

I don't really think there's much room for variation at all, unless your date is specifically at a location where wearing dress shirt+jeans is impractical (the beach, the pool, etc.). I mean, if your regular style is wearing jean shorts and a hoodie, maybe it's best to get that out of the way immediately, but I certainly wouldn't expect many women to look favorably upon that. The most casual thing I've worn on a date was jeans and a nice polo, and that was because it was 80 degrees outside
and I was planning on doing some walking.

I love wearing my hoodie. I'm so happy when my date does too. Maybe I'm just not mature enough yet.

I feel like the first date should definitely be dressed well, but after that wear what you wear. They want to know who you really are, right? But like you said, if who you are is jean shorts, then you should change who you are before continuing dating.

Or just move to Gainesville, Florida.

Just had a date with a redhead from POF. We clicked on a personal level, but there's not enough physical attraction for me.

I've also been banging a stripper for the last week. Sex is good but I'm not interested in a relationship

Not interested in a relationship with a stripper??? MADNESS

I wore a suit on a first date once. It was a weeknight drinks date. I went straight from work. I wore a suit at work.

Yeah, if I'm meeting someone after work for drinks, I wear what I wore to work. I don't bring a change of clothes with me.

And lol at amazing: amazingmetsproblems.jpeg

This went well. She actually wasn't my type, but in a good way. We went to two different bars. She had to drive (lol?), so she didn't have more than two drinks, but she drove me home and we made out in her car.

General question- do you guys have a rule about how much to drink relative to how much your date is drinking? Some girls will drink really ****ing slowly even if they're enjoying themselves, and I like to drink- I've usually been going for about a 1.5:1 ratio

Drink ratio should mirror your weight ratio to hers.