I did a pub quiz for a first date and although it went well I came to the conclusion it's a much better second/third date. They last 2+ hours with little flexibility to make an excuse to shorten things if it's not going well.

Who gave you "pay discreetly" advice. Seems very dumb, I doubt that person gets laid much.

That made the news, truly awesome if it's you.

Here's the GoFundMe

BBC article

Yea I would not pay discreetly, I'd do the second paragraph.

Before I was making good money I used to let them pay half and believed it was a better "move" also, which is possible.

It has been a slight turn off on some recent occasions where the woman doesn't reach to pay at all on a first date, even though I would have happily paid anyway even if I wasn't crazy about the date.

Super Likes btw have been a godsend for me, don't recall if I've mentioned this. Over the last 14 months I've dated 3 women who are probably my top 3 ever from the physical standpoint, one of them medium-term and the current one getting there. All were Super Likes. Use them. (Also all an average of >10 years younger.)

WTF at that story. Just.....WOW.

Send her this post.

That's awesome. I think you might have to marry this one.

That post had me right up to the watching of a Scientology documentary.

BW,

The Scientology doc choice was what had me initially thinking it was actually Pguk.

Howard,

There's no need to quote an entire super long post to give a short response.

I like Louis Theroux.

I don't get it.

N,

Here's a serious reply. You text this girl constantly for weeks, more than she wants to interact with you. She humors you for a while, then starts to reduce the communications a bit. You get all pissy about that, so she stops texting at all.

She decides to give another shot at being civil, and having a casual civil relationship, but you once again want it to be like a close/girlfriend relationship. She gives you countless cues via slow/curt/distant responses about the type of relationship level she's ok to have with you, but you want much more. Finally she once again realizes you can't do that and just stops trying and just quits replying, her only option other than constant texting from you.

You ask her to go out with you on a Saturday night, so out of politeness so you don't keep your Saturday blocked out hopelessly waiting on her to say yes, she politely responds to decline. But of course, you start right back with the texting again.

She didn't disappear abruptly or rudely. She gave you chances time and time again to have a civil casual friendly relationship with her. But time and time again you showed you weren't capable of that. So finally she was left with no choice but to just not respond. She probably hasn't told you more directly because she's worried that you'd then murder her.

Was this your first girlfriend?

She's made her intentions perfectly clear. Move on!

The best way for him to explain his views about this girl is just to send her his long and overthought post about her. She will either come to him with open arms or race away in fear. The situation is solved either way.

Do you just get 1 super like per day or did you subscribe? You're only dating girls >10 years younger, how old are you? I'm 33 and had my age range set to 25-35, but ran out of women in my area so I opened it up to anyone and holy **** like 80% of the early 20 girls are hot as hell here. I'm not sure how it would work from a maturity standpoint though.

Is PartyGirlUK really the guy in that story? I saw it yesterday. Would be awesome if it was.

I imagine not. But it would be awesome if it were.

Me too. His films in Miami / Dade jail have an entertaining spin on the usual 'locked up' show.

Landed a second date. Going hiking this weekend

The ones that have been successful happened to be when I only had 1 Super Like per day. I paid for one month just recently but didn't get much out of it (also was traveling a lot that month so didn't get the best at-home use of it) except for a ton of matches from the Boost thing, none of which went anywhere I don't think.

Caveat: I believe it was after I became a paid member that, mysteriously, one that I had Super Liked like 1-2 months prior when I wasn't paying, suddenly matched with me. So I may have gotten higher in the algorithm from paying; like idk if she had a stack of Super Likes waiting for her or what (she's physically the type who would get a lot of lefts, but then a disproportionate # of Super Likes).

Yea seems best to just set age 21-99+, partly because there are a decent handful who have some fake high age. If you don't care about drinking age you could go lower. I think these age gaps were like 35-26, 35-24, and 36-27.

I've never had maturity issues in terms of interacting with dates/people on a one-on-one basis. *Might* start running into trouble when it comes to clubbing and such if they're still into that, but I've managed to avoid it thus far.

Agree that obv he needed and needs to back off, but I do detect some crappiness and flakiness from her too. Doesn't matter either way; only way to combat that is to withdraw and move on, leaving the door open for if and when she comes back around. Not even from a cynical or game standpoint; it's simply what you have to do.

Appreciate the reply since I think sending her my previous post would be just too much detail about my own thinking that someone who doesn't want to talk to me in the first place wouldn't want to hear.
Fortunately for me I came upon almost identical conclusions as you the other night when I was reflecting on how things had went and looking at the general timeline of events. Like I just kind of got it, and I got how as excited I was to be talking to this person, I was so far off in my own dreamland of what that meant that it was only a matter of time before I involuntarily (and unknowingly to myself) crossed the threshold of tone/interest-level mismatch and made it overtly apparent. "I wasn't ready", as Kevin Hart would say. And I've learned that's kind of the way things go for me sometimes and that there's not much I could do about it. In a perfect world I'd have all this hindsight and control of my emotions to where I could capably balance keeping this person involved, while at the same time maintaining distance and carrying on happily with other lively pursuits.

As much as I wanted to be close with this person, it failing is precisely because we were unable to be close. It's a simple, but painful, consequence of the reality of the situation. My attitude, which may not always be optimally rational, is not to give up on something I feel strongly about and I feel is within reach, because in this case someone like that in my life has been so rare. And so just as rare is it for me to make the effort for that person. Which makes me feel stubborn about giving up.

I realized just like you mentioned that she's not saying no because she's probably scared at how I would respond to her frankness. That's not the kind of impact I want to have on someone. It makes me feel like a real ****ty person for allowing it to come to that, where someone I've known very well can't even say "hey I'm just not interested". Instead I hear nothing back. It's that sense of feeling invisible. I think a lot of what I've done is to try to get rid of that feeling.

But upon realizing all this I still had to seek some refuge, some sort of solution to this for myself. And like I said, the other night I came to fully realize that I had more than one opportunity to sort of settle into a low-pressure, stress-free friendly 'keeping-up' with this person, and on multiple occasions it was unable to work. At this point I felt it best to save a little face, and sort of close a chapter in my own head for my own peace of mind.
This is embarrassing to admit but last Friday after not having received any messages for a week I asked her again if she had any free time this week to go out bowling. (A few months ago back when we were actually friendly this was something we had planned to do). To this I received no response. This Tuesday with no response I followed up mentioning that it could be fun and asking when was the last time she went. Anything to just gauge where she is at. That's the embarrassing part I think-- that I thought there was more to find out about where she was at. That I thought a possible response to my invite would ever come in some form of 'yes' or 'possibly'. Maybe I just wanted to ask again so she would just say no. I think that was part of it. I wanted it to be over. I wanted to receive the no because I was unable to just say enough is enough and be done.

The day went by and I heard nothing and that night is when I did some reflecting and decided the only way I would find any relief would have to be ending it myself. She had already stepped aside. I was only further encroaching in unwanted territory at this point. That leaves me two options. 1) just don't communicate again, step away. Leave it at: you inviting her a couple times, not getting any response, and dropping it. That would be the normal way to handle it with someone, but I being the way I am, opted for 2) sending one last message, but not a long convoluted confessional, dripping with personal feelings and thoughts and rationalizing and cringworthy pleads of affection. No, I only partly went with cringworthy affectation and tried to condense it as much as possible. Leave as much emotion out of it as possible.

I just wanted to let her know that I got it. I understood what was going on and that I wasn't some blind fool. I wanted to make it clear I didn't want to pose any kind of threat. Here's what I went with. I sent this with the knowledge I will send no further messages, and that I will not seek her out in any way, through any other means. For how long? With this, time is of no consequence. I don't wish to do any more damage, but this was for me a goodbye. A goodbye is something I felt I needed. So this was for me more than anything.
- "It get it, I get it. Well it was nice talking to you for that month or so. I'll cease texting to myself in your messages (if you do even receive these anymore). I hope you spot me when I've figured out some of the stuff that has me banging my head against the wall—because I respect you. I was lucky to have met you.
Peace, I truly wish you well.️"
And I archived her text thread (Android) so not to be tempted by it and not to see it when scrolling through other texts. As you might imagine I've received no response. Yes, this was essentially my first girlfriend. How could you tell.

OK, so you're a bit older than me. Yah, seems to be a massive difference between 21 and 25 compared to say 25 and 33. I'm actually going back to school for at least a year, so I'll be around a ton of 20-22 year olds, but being 33, I think that might be a bit too weird.

I've actually been thinking about just buying a month of Tinder +, good to know that it might be worth it for the Boost function.

Easily 10-15% of the girls 20-22 would think a 33yo is ideal. It is absolutely insane to waste time on an app if you are going to college. All you have to do is walk around, make eye contact and see who involuntary smiles.

If you are going to waste time with an app though at least have a woman pick out your picture for you. I am pretty sure most people are not able to pick out the best picture of themselves because most people have bias and hang ups about their own appearance that just has nothing to do with reality. Just search for the guys on any dating site and half the pictures can't possibly be their best representation of themselves. The person putting up the picture is blind to that though but it is so common there is a good chance you are doing the exact same thing but can't see it in yourself.