Thanks guys, genuinely appreciate the input. Won't message again, chalking it up to experience.


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Pretty fair point! Especially when thinking back on drunken behaviour, stuff that didn't seem bad at the time definitely can do on sober reflection, so definitely agreeing here.


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Hoping so!


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Ok, so I am curious about how other OOTers would handle this situation.

Background: Start talking to girl on swiping dating app. We go back and forth for 3 message and she stops responding after 1 -2 days. I delete her. She then messages me on instagram (I added her on instagram after the first message because she put it in her profile).

She says "Why are you adding me and unmatching. What the ****"
"I wanted to browse your instagram but then you didn't respond to me...."
"OMG I was working what the ****. I was replying. Are you for real?? Why don't you just say the real reason"
"What would be the real reason? If you want to meet then lets set a time. I don't like to play games."

After a few more messages spread over a week when she said she was super busy until Mid December.
Me - "I try to be punctual. How is your December looking?"
"Lonely and cold without you. Why haven't you asked for my # yet?"
"Whats your number? I thought we would setup plans and then I would get it."
3 weeks later She gives me her number.

How would you handle this?
1) Call right away, who cares that she was slow to respond
2) Wait a few days
3) Wait a longer period of time
4) Bitches be crazy

You both sound a bit off from this description of events. I don't see any reason to pursue this any further for either one of you.

Lol, why would you delete her after just one day of not responding?
Girls litterally have hundreds of guys messaging them. They are probably conversing with at least 50guys at a time in a week. I had I think like 58 trying to talk to me at one time a couple of months ago when I was playing around with Tinder. It's not like guys who are only talking to 2 or 3 girls. Your best play is to go ahead and call her because I guarantee she has several other guys calling her to set up dates. It's best if you try to set up a date within the first 5-10 messages and get her number when you have plans.

PhatPots,

She sounds overly agressive and eager. Don't call. Loose the number.

Lol, I see

4


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.

Why am I off?

So I deleted her after a day and half after seeing that she read my message immediately.

I've been thinking about my online successes. I can't think of a case where the girl responded after a few days and we ended up meeting up or dating. I've met a lot of people.

PP,

Ok so if you've already decided that's what you're doing and that it was correct, why did you keep talking to her and why did you ask us about it?

Deleting her after only one day seems a bit over the top. And the fact that she would then send you a fairly confrontational message and you then continued to respond to her and are now asking what to do seems a bit odd too. I can't imagine ever thinking it's going to work out to anything or even wanting to try after receiving that type of message from her. And the fact that you're asking how long to wait to call her.

So, yeah, that seems off.

move on

She sounds super insecure to me and based on what MLYLT said, I wonder if you've been one of her go-to matches when better prospects (sorry) don't come through for her...feel like this would explain the erratic response times and highly strung tone of her messages, particularly when she thought one of her on-ice matches had binned her.

Could be way off but regardless, it's a pretty clear option 4) for me.


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She must be really hot

Yeah, smells like a 4 all day long.
Only way I'd put up with that behavior is she's hot and dtf.

You're the back up plan, remember that.

is adding someone on IG just because its in their profile not weird? genuinely asking, i dont see the point in it if youre actually messaging them, or if youre not, then just for stalking purposes.

I have no desire to follow someone on IG/Twitter/friend them on FB unless we were official, seems like unnecessary potential drama otherwise

She is hot.

I was thinking I might text her after a few days. I wanted to see if OOT would convince me otherwise.

There's only so much hotness that can make up for crazy and she sounds bat**** crazy. Not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze.


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If you won't feel bad about yourself when she ignores or responds with some tricksy nonsense then text her again, who cares. Stop pussyfooting around though and tell the chick you're going to be somewhere and she should come hang out with you. And then go do it whether or not she shows up.

Delete her on other apps, leaves on Instagram is the most obvious "she's hot" of all time.

Regarding earlier convo, I've had maybe 3x as many (eventual) responses from women who I just left alone after a non-response as women who responded to a Hail Mary last ditch effort.

Matched/messaged sparingly about 2 months with a girl before we ever went on a date. We were both busy, **** happens. We've now been together almost 5 months after that date. I agree this is rare, but it does happen!