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I've sat here for ten minutes now, considering this one, and after careful deliberation: I can't answer without knowing what SHE likes to do. The thing you've got to know about me is: pleasing the girl I'm with is what makes me happy. I don't care if we get dressed up to go out for a fancy dinner, or keep it casual and go out for bbq. Alone, I'd choose casual; but if I'm with a girl who prefers the other, than I'd rather do that too, to put the smile on her face.
lol
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Now that doesn't mean I'm the wishy-washy, "Oh, I don't care, whatever you want to do, you pick," type. I'll still do the picking, or at least the suggesting--I just need to know her first, what she likes and how she likes it, before I could give a specific answer.
Yes it does.
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"Oh, just wanted to let you know you can ask me anything. No topic is off limits."
Oh, I already knew that! But I'll take your bringing it up as encouragement (ie, you want it!), so here you go: Tell me the story about the last time you masturbated, where you weren't at home, nor in a bed.
Well that's a good segue into THAT question. Good lord.
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Don't let it touch your pussy yet!
smooth.
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Nice and slow and relaxed...now SLOWLY, as slow as you can stand it, draw a line straight down the middle of your belly, back towards your pussy--but we're not going to touch it yet!
Good thing you told her to take it slow, because I'm sure she's a rearin' to go with all this crazy bad sex talk. My man pussy is wet just reading this.
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But I didn't have my phone on me, it was in my coat. Grrrrr.....
Aw, darn! Coulda transitioned from crazy awkward cyber sex to crazy awkward phone sex. On that note, why the **** haven't you called her yet? Notice how curtly she's replying to your blog-length responses, how she keeps saying "text me" and "call me." Yea. that's her polite way of trying to get you from waxing poetic into these novel length replies to the most inane questions - good lord dude.
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It's funny that you used the words, "it has been a while since I felt that turned on with no one even touching me," because that's exactly what I was thinking, sitting in the car, reading your message. Oh, when I get my hands on this girl!
Things rapists say.
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Are you SURE you want to hear about oddball places I've beat off?
No, no, no, please god no.
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I mean, it's hot when a girl talks about it, but I'm afraid it might come off as creepy or pervy coming from a guy. Of course, it's only fair that I answer honestly, as you did--
It definitely will come off as creepy or pervy.
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but before I do, let's just make sure that we actually WANT to go there!
NO NO NO NO NO
Oh wait, do it anyway? OK!
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Wish I had some cool stories about sex, but not so much. There have been times where I had to pull the car over and have at it, in places like a highway rest stop or behind a school at night, or once on a deserted country road.
Love how casually you throw that in there. Who hasn't?
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Finally, I've been holding back stuff like this, but since you've opened this door, I'm going there: Remember when you asked me about the perfect date or something, and I mentioned that pleasing the girl I'm with is what does it for me? Well, that's ALL I care about in the bedroom. Turning YOU on is what does it for me. When I hear about these guys who skip foreplay, stick it in, two pumps and they're done, then they're off to sleep--I can't even FATHOM that! Baby, when I get my hands on you, you're going to come at least once or twice before I even get my pants off! Hearing you moan, your breathing quicken, watching your hips rock a little while I'm going down on you, feeling your nails in my back as you try to pull all of me inside of you...there's nothing in the world that turns me on more than that! That's EVERYTHING to me.
So...see you Tuesday?
Hee hee hee...
hee hee hee (haw)
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I love hearing that with a few well chosen words I can make you hard.
After you had played with me, i would have insisted on a turn with you. Nothing i enjoy more than a man who is rock hard and waiting for release. I would take you in my mouth, while my hands would explore your body. Then i Would haved slowly licked and sucked it. Sometimes i wiuld take you deep in my throat, others it would be shorter qucker. I also enjoy stroking you and playing with your balls at the same at the same time. The speed would gradually pick up until you were ready to come and then I would climb on and ride you until you exploded with release.
Oh by the good morning! ;-)
Apr 22, 2013 – 10:40am
ps I love sex morning, noon, and night. Once I am with someone and we have had sex, I don't say no. Never can have it too much. Plus if we ever fought I do not believe in using it as a weapon. I won't cut you off from it because in my mind that just punishes me.
Apr 22, 2013 – 10:43am
Keep in mind no sex on the first date! As you had pointed out.
Apr 22, 2013 – 10:46am
Right now I am having fun teasing, but I promise I am good at follow through.
Its funny I can do this sexting no problem, phone sex not so much. But always willing to try.
Apr 22, 2013 – 10:50am
Do you have a preference to a woman shaved, trimmed, or wild?
Lol she's actually not creeped out yet. What a keeper.
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"Keep in mind no sex on the first date! As you had pointed out."
Oh, you're pretty funny!
I don't think she was trying to be funny here.
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Actually, all weekend long, I knew I wasn't going to get to meet you until Tuesday at the earliest, and I knew that I'd have to schedule you in before a huge party I was hosting with my friends that would last well into the night...plus your profile makes it very clear not to expect any on Night One...so I seriously *was* planning on No Sex that night. But that's long since out the window, since this conversation took its latest turn!
It's not out the window. My god man why would you even type that last sentence? It's like you want her to agree to have sex with you before you even go out.
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A lot of things flew out the window when I got your "throbbing" message in the wee hours this morning! Another example: When I meet a girl for the first time, it's always for drinks, and I tell her to call me when she arrives, so I can meet her in the parking lot and walk her in, to spare us both the embarrassing "Is my date gonna show?" glances around the room. They always like that, and it has the added bonus of making me look thoughtful and chivalrous at the same time. But the best part of this move is, it spares ME some embarrassment if the whole I-go-for-a-hug-while-she-goes-for-a-handshake dance goes terribly wrong. It rarely does, but when it does, it's spectacular like a NASCAR wreck, and you sure don't want to do it in front of an audience.
It's always good to just expose your insecurity and get it out of the way. Girls love that in a man.
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Any way, that's all out the window with you. When I get my hands on you,
It's good to know you've thrown your ****ed up weirdo ideas of being a gentleman out the window based on 1 series of sex messages. Every girl loves to hear that. By the way, stop saying "when I get my hands on you."
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And if you're thinking that a "good girl" would never go back to a guy's room on the first date, I can respect that--but if that's the case, then you'd better pray for good weather Tuesday night, because you'll have a new "strangest place I've ever had sex" story! But those sessions always have to be rushed, and "in a rush" just ain't my style.
If I had to pick a way to delicately and subtly tell a girl I was going to rape them, I'd use almost exactly this choice of words.
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It's not a big deal either way, but now that you bring it up I've got to admit, "less is more". I know a total shave can be a tricky thing for you...but again, it's YOUR arousal that excites me, and when I feel how smooth your shaved legs are, and I imagine you taking that effort just to look sexy for me...and knowing that shaving everything must feel a little different for you, like walking around without underwear or something, and that has to be a sexy feeling for you--THAT'S the hottest part of this whole thing for me. So take it all off, baby! You know I'll reward you for the effort! If you do that for me, then you're deserving of a little special attention down there. That's another reason why I'm getting a room, so we don't have to rush, and I can suck your pussy until your head caves in!
Well, time for breakfast! Then I'm off to live another day in the CLEAN world! Big shock, I can't find my phone charger anywhere, it's not even in my roommate's room (at least, not in plain sight). Hard to believe lending something to a roommate isn't going to turn out well for me. So if I'm less than responsive today/tonight, please don't hold that against me.
oh cool, you're a 46 y/o man with a roommate. Why would you even mention that? She doesn't give a ****.
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(Heh, I just decided it was time to wrap this up, nothing more to say for now, time to sign it and send it...and as that thought occurred to me, I let out a contented sigh and realized my face was starting to hurt a little from smiling--I've been smiling the whole time it took me to type this. I'm REALLY looking forward to meeting you, kid, and not just for sex. Again, I've never carried on such a long correspondence before meeting someone, so that's certainly adding to the anticipation...but you've been delightful so far, very smart, funny, creative, laid back, grounded, and sexy as all hell. I can't wait till tomorrow night.)
can you not sound so desperate?
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Oh forgot to mention: I'm old school Italian, I'm not shaving ANYTHING! Hope you don't mind some hair on a man's chest, or the other usual places.
Good grief. Now i have your hairy balls in my mind.
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Because of my working tomorrow and on Wednesday I will have to leave early. But nothing like the anticipation of another meeting. The emails are fun, but don't worry I do believe in follow through.....eventually! LOL ;-) Hope you have a fantastic day today. Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.
Andrea
notice how she basically doesn't respond to anything you said. Do you get the hint? Let's keep reading:
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I couldn't go five minutes today without thinking about you.
When I opened this page to tell you that, I just reread our entire correspondence. I was about to go to sleep, but now I'm completely turned on again...and I can't DO anything about it! If I rub one out now, it could adversely impact my performance tonight! Oh man, this is brutal! It's like PUNISHMENT, not being able to take matters into my own hands, so to speak. You vixen, you! You wrote earlier that there's nothing you enjoy more than a man waiting for release...well kid, you've got me right where you want me!
(Remember, casual dress tonight, as I'm currently "between wardrobes"--any clothes I buy now aren't going to fit in a few months, so my closet is pretty barren until I get to my goal weight.)
nope.
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Not sure if you really read what I sent. I HAVE NO INTENT ON HAVING SEX WITH YOU TONIGHT!!! I meant what I said in regards to that. If all you want is someone for a night, forget it. I don't think we should meet. Goodluck in your search.
When a girl has to say "I HAVE NO INTENT ON HAVING SEX WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" in all capital letters, you aren't doing very well.
Do you get the hint? let's keep reading:
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Holy cow.
Of course I read what you sent. I thought you were teasing. It's incomprehensible to me that someone would spend the weekend saying the things you've been saying, "Sex is all I think about...I get so worked up when I think about YOU...I'll suck you off and ride you until you come...I want it all the time...", and then say in the next breath, "But having sex with you is completely out of the question." I couldn't take that last part seriously, because it just doesn't fit in with the rest of it.
It makes me question if *you* really read what *I* sent! Here are some quotes to remind you:
--"...all weekend long, I knew I wasn't going to get to meet you until Tuesday at the earliest, and I knew that I'd have to schedule you in before a huge party I was hosting with my friends that would last well into the night...plus your profile makes it very clear not to expect any on Night One...so I seriously *was* planning on No Sex that night..."
--"I'm REALLY looking forward to meeting you, kid, and not just for sex. Again, I've never carried on such a long correspondence before meeting someone, so that's certainly adding to the anticipation...but you've been delightful so far, very smart, funny, creative, laid back, grounded, and sexy as all hell. I can't wait till tomorrow night"
I don't know how to make it more plain that no, this was never about me just looking for "someone for a night". That list of compliments in the second quote? THAT was the girl I couldn't go five minutes without thinking about yesterday. It's insulting to me that I stand accused of anything here.
Sweetheart, you just can't treat a guy like that. OK, maybe I can't speak for all guys on this one, maybe some of them are so pussy-whipable they'll put up with this, but I'm not that guy. You said you'd never use sex as a weapon, but that's exactly what you've done--maybe you didn't realize it, but to lead a guy on as far as you did to me since Sunday night, then tell him as he gets near the goal line, "Oh, just kidding," or, "You thought I *meant* that?", or, "You thought I meant NOW?", that's just cruel.
HOWEVER...since it doesn't make any sense either that the girl I've been getting to know this weekend would ever INTENTIONALLY be so cruel--since such malice does not even begin to fit into the picture I've formed of her--I'm willing to forgive this little transgression. I can go back upstairs right now, rub one out, and be over this. But I meant every word of the "delightful...smart...funny..." speech, and I really think it would be a shame if we didn't get together.
So if you can assure me that you didn't know guys don't react to sex fantasies the same way girls do (that a weekend of such talk with no actual sex at the end is a massive frustration, not a pleasure)...and I can assure you that I think we could still have a great time tonight even with sex off the table (really, Scout's Honor--I'm going to go beat off right now, I won't even WANT sex the rest of the day)...then what do you say? We still on for 7:00?
Bobby
nope. Love how you close it out with more references to masturbation. It's always good to berate a woman for rejecting your supremely creepy advances. Good lord man. Get help.
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then what do you say? We still on for 7:00?
lol I just saw that part. NO SHE'S NOT STILL ON FOR 7. what does she have to do, call the police on you for you to get the hint?
Last edited by jmakin; 04-25-2013 at 08:26 PM.
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