When you finally make your move to ask her out, try removing all the unnecessary words. If you can ask the question and sound like you know what you want, that's going to convey confidence. Don't build an out for her in to the question - that's counterproductive to what you're trying to accomplish.

You could try, "I'd like to go out with you." Or, "Do you want to go out with me?"

i'm not going to ask her out... if i do, it'll be as a joke.

i put myself in a really bad spot because i was so playful with her yesterday and it'll be really weird if i just go straight to cold shoulder again. it was a big mistake and I should have kept avoiding her or giving her cold one word responses.

I'm going to work now.. i just need to remind myself that she's not my friend or girlfriend, she's part of the reason why my emotions feel like **** and i need to stop looking at her as some type of hero/role model/goddess figure.

No reason u can't be friends IMO. Remember it's work so she should at least be a work-friend

well, she decided to flirt with some other guys in front of me while ignoring me for a bit, so that stung like crazy and i cold shouldered her for the rest of the day. She noticed and started giving me lots of attention, then i brushed her off and she said "ok fine..." and that was the end of it.

**** it, i'll keep things that way.

I spent the whole day forcing myself to smile and socializing and making jokes with everyone but her. I think i like this side of me.. i'll just keep doing that. maybe things will be ok after all .

at one point she said to me during my cold shouldering, "we're best friends, right? you're my friend!" and then i just smiled and looked away. nah, **** that. i'm out. i'm done. it's over. i quit. let's never talk to each other again.

So what? Is she not allowed to speak to other men? This is what she does, she loves the attention she receives from men.

u rly need to start tapping that bro. cut the pussy footing out of your life.

This thread is getting way too emo.

Lotta feelings and butthurt for some beat up old vagina OP hasn't even seen naked

Which is what I keep saying. It's not "real" flirting in the sense that she's doing it to find a potential mate. Either deal with this and talk to her without getting all starry-eyed, or avoid her I guess.

Op you need to make changes in your life. You're not in love with this broad you just have no self worth and you won't allow yourself to move on.

There are billions of women on this planet. You really think this insecure one with kids is the best one for you? Gtfo.

butthurt is the best word to describe what i felt yesterday. All she did was not give me attention for a bit and flirt with other guys, and that made me decide to never talk to her ever again.

That's what i need to do to get rid of these feelings, right? Never talk to her again?

i mean, i obvoiusly don't want to feel this type of petty irrationality.

I wish i never have to see her again.

Stop caring so goddamn much about **** you have no control over

You should get away from this situation as soon as possible. You have admitted this is a dead end job for you and your presence sound to be very uncomfortable you should put 100% of your energy into finding another job. As long as you are around this woman these feelings will come and go. Unless you meet someone else this is not a situation you can outgrow.

You sound like a decent guy that has his heart in a very bad place right now. Time to cut your losses and split.

i guess i just have 1 question.

am i a freak for feeling this way? To fall for a girl that i never even went on a date with?

Is this something that's abnormal? People usually need to be dating and have sex for at least a month before they fall in love and develop this type of strong emotional attachment, right?

At least i know if this isn't normal, it'll make me feel a bit better because i'll know this is just a symptom of my loneliness and lack of connection with women in general, and maybe it's just the scarcity of women that makes me so crazy for this chick.

It depends. It changes with experience. You are socially ******ed and your behavior is fine for a fourteen year old but you need to get some real experience in actual relationships.

Blehx, you have anxiety and insecurity issues or something like that and you need professional help. See a shrink. Seriously. This is all pretty creepy. You are not in love.

Either that or get out more, talk to more girls, get on with your life.

If you feel like you are going to have a total breakdown then get to a professional and get on with it. Stop crying so much. Actually, stop crying at all. Stop thinking you are in love. You are obsessing over a girl you aren't even going out with.

Professional. Help. Now.

You need to get another job IMO. It may not be convenient, but self medicating and crying yourself to sleep doesn't seem worth most jobs. Having to get a roommate and canceling cable seems way better than hating life over a girl you obv can't get over.

Seek help.

yes

blehhhx, let me ask you a question:

What sort of things do you and she have in common? Do you know what kind of movies, food, etc. she likes? What kind of things would you do together if you were dating? I suspect the answer to all these questions is "I dunno", in which case you're not in love with her. You're attracted/infatuated based on her looks and some shallow flirty interactions you have at work (which apparently is how she treats everyone, so you're not "special" in that regard), plus I'm sure some mental-masturbatory sort of fantasy of what it might be like to be together that's all cute and unrealistic.

This sort of thinking isn't altogether unusual at the very very beginning of knowing someone, and as said above, it's standard for a young teenager. Sometimes relationships even develop out of it. But it becomes really silly and creepy when it continues unabated for years without so much as a date taking place. Go do some online dating or something (and stop meeting girls on a ****ing depression forum) to clear your head and ease back towards reality.

okay.. okay, alright. okay. I'm starting to understand.

Last night she didn't work and i talked to this other female coworker and i was starting to think "wow she's actually nice and really pretty and really warm and friendly to me.." and I could feel a very small miniscle crush type of feeling towards her.

I guess I just need to put myself in a spot where i'm able to talk to more girls like that. preferably girls that i don't work with, and that aren't married and have 7 kids like that particular coworker i talked to last night..

okay... thanks guys. i figured it out... i think? I'm feeling good right now, but my mood will probably swing back to misery from time to time. Still, i figured out what i need to do ..

Op I'm glad you think you know what you need to do but it sounds like you need therapy.

Listen here....first off..how did you not end up at least kissing her after one year of flirting....here is my advice coming from a female....tell her to quit ****ing with your emotions...move on....I know it is hard to do but you can do this.....ignore her and don't play into her power trip over you. She is acting this way because you are letting her and it makes her feel more worthy. Sounds like she has major issues to you with you this way....and so what if your still a virgin...who cares...no one deserves to be used this way...especially you

everyone here thinks that she didn't do anything wrong, and this is all my fault because i have a crazy head.

it makes me kind of happy that you're putting some of the blame on her. thank you.