OP,

Send her a link to this thread. Problem will resolve itself.

infatuated?

Pretend you're tall, fit and good looking and act like you're playing hard to get.

Easy to be confident, yourself, and not GAF when you're good looking. Comes with the territory.

Gonna be tough for us fuglies.

This - how can u be in love with someone you barely know? Do you know her middle name? Favorite tv show? Favorite bands? Foods she likes? Love is a deep emotional connection based on shared connections. It's not a chick at work who is probably above your batting average, seemed attainable, and then you screwed the pooch on it. Get over it!

My serious advice would be to go bang a hooker. Once you realize intercourse is nbd and easily attainable you can start to emotionally mature, maybe go on a couple blind dates or something?

brOP, im in a similar situation. i work with a beautiful girl who's also young and a single mom. she's super nice to everyone. i asked her out two or three times and she was busy each time, cos u kno, she's got 3 y/o. then she said yes. then she cancelled on me during my pregame poop, and i was super duper mad and responded to her text saying 'k'. then i realized that every shift we work together is like a date: there's subtle romance (flirting), getting to know each other, etc. and it's great. and it makes work much more manageable.

since you were not likely to go the rest of your life without talking to her, it's arbitrary when when you would decide to chat with her and by waiting any longer you'd be wasting positive energy.

maybe someday she'll wanna take a chance on me, maybe not. regardless, i made a friend, and those are hard to make as an adult.

maybe you could...oh wait you were a dick to your girl for an entire year and lost out on the opportunity to have a cool friend and maybe someday a love all because she hurt your feelings by rejecting you in a spot in which you had maybe 20% at best succeeding in. and she was even completely honest with you about why she rejected you which you seemingly were the one to bring up. it's like you want the possibly dishonest overly-nice-to-everyone version of her and also something honest too. you seem really controlling, even if you're mostly meek around other people.

if i were the girl i'd feel tilted having to work with you.

i already flew across the country to bang this depressed chick i met on a depression forum who i wasn't that attracted to... it's funny because she's extremely clingy, tells me she loves me so much, and gets pissed and emotional and threatens to cut herself when i don't reciprocate. i feel so creeped out and would honestly rather jerk off than have sex with her again.

and that gives me perspective on my situation with my coworker. That's why i know i'll never do some creepy love confession to her, because i'll make her feel the same way that depressed girl made me feel. creeped out.

I know intercourse is no big deal. i know there are some girls who are attracted to me.

but i want a girl like her. I don't want those shy low self esteem girls. I want a high self esteem super confident high energy party girl with a motherly side.. she's everything i want in a woman.

you have no chance with her though. To her you're just a coworker, while you have strong feelings for her. (assuming you're in my position.) So how does it feel when she flirts and touches and hugs other guys and sweet talks her boyfriend on the phone? If it doesn't sting like crazy, then you're not in my shoes. And if you are in my shoes, then you'll see that cold shouldering her is the only option if you don't want to feel like complete **** all the time..

How many kids you two gonna have?

i mean im obv not in your situation, because im not in love with a girl whom i barely know.

i don't care if i have no chance with her. she's hot, cool, and has a pick of the litter. i can handle not being #1 in her eyes while getting to spend 8 hr blocks with her while not going crazy over it all.

she flirts with everyone you say? this reduces the likelihood her flirting with you being genuine to much less. you should be mad at yourself for not being able to analyze the situation, not her.

Holy s@&$ you're that dude. I loved that thread.

With that background it falls into place a little more. It's an interesting dichotomy (spelling) chick shows interest in you, you recognize traits in her that disgust you in yourself, are repulsed and move away. The girl at work has traits you desire in yourself (attractive, personable, high energy) and are obsessed with her and she lingers in almost all of your thoughts, maybe she symbolizes your desire to self improve?

They are called feeling for a reason sir, you can't control them. It's tough because going to work is like having your nose rubbed in failure everyday, but take it from me who has shat in my own plate before and now am a supervisor and have to resist that same anus unclenching urge on a daily basis - just say NO work and sex/love rarely (and I mean 99.9% of time) works out, it's usually based on a false attraction based on an equal financial footing and a forced daily interaction that produces sexual tension pretty frequently.

I am also very very high as of these writings so ymmv. I used to be a very moody depressed type guy I just started trying to think/be more positive and it really helped. I hope you are happy and healthy and I enjoy your posts a lot they're very frank which I enjoy greatly

A girl is not going to fill that hole inside of you.

That feeling that you're missing out on something is your subconscious saying that you're missing out on something. But it's misplaced. The thing you're missing out isn't "true love." If it is maybe you should be loving yourself.

You can ask girls out and sometimes they will say yes and it will be enjoyable and it will probably make you feel good, but it won't fill your deeper need, whatever that is. Getting with this girl, even though she is "everything you're looking for" could be just as unfulfilling as getting with depressed girl in the end. The male mind is designed to always want what it doesn't have--this is why we have great cities, technology, and incredible amounts of war and violence. If you find an awesome long term relationship, it's going to get comfortable and a little boring and you will be tempted by outside forces yet again at some point.

You need to find something that makes you happy outside of this.

My advice, do something that makes you feel empowered. Lift weights, pick up an instrument, take up carpentry, just do something and do it really ****ing well and that will make you walk with a confidence and swagger and not only will you be happier you will have greater success with women as well.

being good-looking is part of that, but you can be confident in who you are regardless of looks/status. just own your identity, your likes/dislikes, your sense of humor etc. the more you move in that direction the more attractive you'll be.

IMO

Thinking that you're a worthy catch and are a somebody when it's painfully obvious that you aren't. Isn't that what we call delusion? All of the confidence in the world isn't going to help an ugly dude with a ****ty job land the hot girl with a big heart, who clearly deserves somebody of roughly equal standing. Take the dude in that video for example. I'll bet my last dollar that if he were fat and ugly, he wouldn't be the guy in front of the camera, let alone approach cute girls and nonchalantly admit that he plays video games.

I mean, I get the sentiment that you can't be self-deprecating and self-defeating in your own inner thoughts, but at some point you have to be realistic and objective about where you stand. For example, I wouldn't ever be able to date somebody who looks like a super model (the good looking ones, not those bags of bones) in this lifetime. That knowledge doesn't bother me and I'm comfortable with it. That makes me confident in my own skin, but that doesn't mean that I'll get ideas to start approaching and talking to girls who obviously are way too good looking for me. It would be a waste of time and effort.

i think you are wrong actuallly. I think if i had a lot of confidence and charm, i really could have got her.

Last week she jokingly said i got her pregnant. I didn't know how else to respond but to jokingly say, "i'm running away to south america." I forgot that this was a touchy subject for her because she's had a lot of issues with guys ditching her, like her baby daddy who ditched her and her 3 kids. So she said "are you serious? you're going to be like all those other guys?" I nodded my head and smiled. Then she muttered "well i'm glad i didn't let you get it in..."

And a bunch of other moments like that give me a sense that I really had a chance of "getting it in". If I was a different person. If my looks stayed the same, but my personality was a complete 180. If the guy in that video was somehow able to jump into my body, he would have landed her for sure, 100%.

Blah I need to talk to other girls. I'm going to practice smiling more often even when I don't feel like it. I think i'm going to confess to her that she's basically my role model, that I look up to her a lot, and someday when i grow up i'm going to be just like her.

Hey man, more power to you, if you think you got a shot.

think again

girl sounds like a psycho

well, great. this feels like a repeat of last year when I had full blown infatuation with her. I feel high as a ****ing kite because the whole day i teased and "negged" her i guess you could say, and the whole day she responded positively. She actually dramatically changed her behavior and would follow me around and approach me so she could talk to me, and purposely make excuses that will allow her to work next to me.

**** i don't want to fall for her hard again only for her to break my heart. i need to go back to the cold shoulder... god damn.

Oh, FFS. Just get it out of your system, at the end of a day like that, say "we should go out sometime". If she looks at you like you have three heads, you know one of two things:

--you're terrible at reading signals
--she's one of those insecure chicks who flirts with everyone for "validation" that they're attractive, and has no real feelings for 99% of the guys she does this with

Either way, you can cross her off your list forever and move on. Or she'll actually go out with you and you can move ahead.

Just be friends with her imo. Then find another girl and rub it in her face. I mean seriously this chick has children, think about that.

last year i literally said something like that. Well, it was more like "ummm, uh, do you really want to, uh, go out with me?" and then she put her hands to her chest and said "awwwww really? of course i doooo" in that flirty cutesy tone. we exchanged numbers then she kept brushing me off until i realized she was just making excuses and that was when the cold shouldering for an entire year started.

i'm not putting myself through that again. Besides, what am i hoping to accomplish? how am i supposed to date a woman with 3 kids as a guy of my maturity level and (almost non existant) life experience? she's basically a bad ass chick from the hood and i'm a sheltered shy kid .

sigh i woke up and i'm feeling it. i am feeling it so hard. you know that feeling in your chest when you're really in love with someone? i physically feel this warm tingly sensation. i have a feeling i'm going to have an emotional breakdown in the next week if this flirting keeps up.

Ugh...I think she's definitely the "validation" type, then. That's not how a girl reacts when she wants to seriously go out with you, it's how she reacts when she gets the compliment she was fishing for. "Why you really find lil' ol' me attractive? Well go figure! Now let me move on to the next guy to get him to demonstrate that I'm wanted and desired."