Needs more love. Lots and lots of love

I'd bite the **** out of that wolf and then yell at it saying that I gave it the old 1-2 teddy.

My first question as well

have a cage match this summer imo

you _WOULD_ kill this wolf. The major variable here is how well you can protect your neck. Most of the other arteries are much nastier to reach and won't result in your death before you and your buddy kill the wolf and call for medical aid. You will most certainly die if you are without medical aid after the fight if this was in question.

The way I see it the wolf can bite your head, resulting in minimal damage. It can get an eye, which will severely disable you, but by feel you'll still most likely be able to kill the wolf with your friend. The midsection is kind of a big deal, less amounts of damage are going to occur in the rib area, but if he gets a side you've got problems. Nonintestinal midsection damage with modern medicine today will result in a greatly decreased probability of death. Your arms and even the artery in your wrist won't let you bleed out fast enough to die before the wolf dies. Being bitten in the ass wouldn't be too bad, it's hard to get bitten in the privates. The femoral artery on your inner thigh is a serious concern however. I would imagine with your height advantage your legs would have the highest percentage of damage. While you still wouldn't bleed out fast enough to die before the fight ended, you might die here from bleeding before medical aid arrived. The calves are pretty much irrelevant and you're not going to die from calf damage.

So, effectively if the wolf bites your inner thigh or throat your odds of living aren't too high. Otherwise, while the wolf is a 100+ pound biting machine, you have 2 humans who have a combined weight of im hoping at least 300 pounds. So long as you managed to keep your throat and inner thigh away from serious damage, adrenaline and instinct of you + the friend will kill the wolf.

As for the major concern of you being disabled through pain thats unlikely as I strongly believe the survival instinct + adrenaline mix will allow you to maintain a fighting capacity until at least the wolf is dead.

For defense, whoever isn't getting bitten breaks a chair on the wolfs head, and then stabs a wodden shard into the wolf. Theres almost no way this goes down without some injuries though, but only few will be deadly.

So leaving the wolf aside for a second, what is the meanest animal you think you could beat in a one on one fight?

I was having this discussion on a train recently, and pondering the best way to fight a crocodile, I advocated getting behind/on top of the crocodile and repeatedly headbutting it until it dies. People on the train mocked me...

On the other hand, I also thought I could beat a polar bear in a fight by getting it in a paw lock... so what do I know...

I would agree that the humans have a chance, but only if they were somewhat prepared. The problem is that element of surprise in this equation is huge.

IMO, Dids is f-ed and his buddy's chances are very slim. There is no way the average person who is sitting around drinking beer snaps into action fast enough. If Dids' buddy is a Marine or something, maybe he would have the composure to weaken that wolf with a chair while Dids' neck is being shredded, but even then, I still think wolf is a 2 to 1 favorite.

I honestly think the humans have a great chance of surviving. Probably somewhere around 90% as long as they aren't abnormally small or quadraplegic. Pretty much no way in hell they kill the wolf, but all they have to do is make it 15 feet (max) to the inside of the house and voila! access to guns/knives/rolling pins. Plus, if this is a normal wolf and not one that knows it is fighting to the death or is rabid, there's a very good chance the wolf simply runs the **** away. I'd guess probably 65%+ as long as the wolf isn't half starved or injured or protecting its young who also magically appeared on the deck.

Interesting site on wolf attacks in N America (site). This is probably the most applicable story with the element of surprise on the human's part and the relative closeness of weapons.

"Paul Tritt, an Athabascan Indian, was attacked by a lone wolf while working a trap line. Paul was setting a snare, looked up and saw a wolf lunging at him. He threw his arm up in front of his face and it was bitten severely by the wolf. A struggle ensued. Tritt was able to get to his sled, grab a gun and kill the wolf. Nathaniel Frank, a companion, helped Tritt wash the wound with warm water. Frank took Tritt, via dog sled, to Fort Yukon to see a doctor. The arm healed, but Tritt never regained full use of it. Several years later, the arm developed problems and had to be amputated. (Interview with Paul Tritt, Venetie, Alaska, November, 1988)"

And if you give the humans axes and make them black:

"Noted naturalists documented wolf attacks on humans. John James Audubon, of whom the Audubon Society is named, reported an attack involving 2 Negroes. He records that the men were traveling through a part of Kentucky near the Ohio border in winter. Due to the wild animals in the area the men carried axes on their shoulders as a precaution. While traveling through a heavily forested area, they were attacked by a pack of wolves. Using their axes, they attempted to fight off the wolves. Both men were knocked to the ground and severely wounded. One man was killed. The other dropped his axe and escaped up a tree. There he spent the night. The next morning the man climbed down from the tree. The bones of his friend lay scattered on the snow. Three wolves lay dead. He gathered up the axes and returned home with the news of the event. This incident occurred about 1830. (Audubon, J.J., and Bachman, J.; The Quadrupeds of North America, 3 volumes. New York, 1851 - 1854)"

I'm trying to imagine what people think the behavior of a "normal wolf" is like. It seems like you are comparing it to "just a big dog" that's in a bad mood or something. The people who keep making the "big dog" comparision are really stretching it. I mean, is a tiger "just a big cat?"

Many posters are probably underestimating the size of a wolf, but the size is not the main issue. A big dog, even the biggest, meanest dog that most people have ever seen doesn't have to kill to survive. Even vicious guard dogs are fed regularly by their owners.

A wolf's life is kill or starve to death. The killing instincts of an adult wolf that has managed to survive to adulthood in the wild are not in the same ballpark as the mean pitbull down the street. "It's not the same league, it's not even the same f-ing sport."

Wolves could f your s up in a matter of seconds.

Yeah, an axe might turn the tide, but those metal chairs really aren't going to be enough.

My friend is not a ninja warrior or something, he is a non large asian person who would apparently abandon me because the wolf looks scary.

The point about the wolf not fighting to the death is that yeah, I think there's something you can do that gets the wolf to run away. I'm just not sure what that is.

And yes, obviously was high. We were out on the patio having a cigarette and somebody was walking around below us and it was freaking me out and I started wondering...

lol imo

off through the new days mist i run,
out from the new days mist, i have come!

If I was Rampage Jackson I'd just go:



and the wolf would GTFO pronto.

Aren't you from like Mill Creek or Milton or something? In the PNW, it would be a much better question if it were a bear, or are those things generally scared of people?

Are you really trying to argue that I should have considered the chance of this actually happening as it related to the potential animal?

It depends on the kind of bear that attacks, some you can make noise and they'll run. Some YOU ARE ****ING DEAD IMO.

This scenario sucks. Wolf will get owned unless those two people are complete Nubs.

New one.

You are walking in the jungle with four friends when suddenly a 2-3 year old tiger appear (young male).
You have one knife to your disposal.

No way. I'm just letting out my interest in local news (e.g. The evening news expose on bears wandering into Shoreline. There should be a report on why bears wander into suburban neighborhoods).

Yeah, I know I'm dead if I run even if I do have an uncooked or even a medium-rare steak. IRL I'd try to befriend the beast. Chicks love dogs.

Does the tiger have a bat?

lol

wtf all you people are either being really dishonest with yourselves or are really, really ******ed.

If the wolf pictured in OP landed in the middle of you and one other friend while you were sitting down on a patio having a smoke, you would have almost zero chance of killing the wolf because you would be too busy running away. If your first instinct if to try to subdue a 140 lb rabid wolf when it appears 2 feet away from you, you are ******ed.

lol so your first instinct is that post- being bitten, you can outrun that wolf huh?

Awwwwwwww, hey little guy!

^

Also, I'm assuming I didn't get bit in the first place because my first instinct will be to get the **** outta there instead of bearhug the wolf from behind or try to suplex him off the patio or whatever it is that you guys think you're gonna do.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8ZuYDFhqd4Y

lol, I hope this dip**** contracted rabies.