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Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?"

05-28-2008 , 03:22 PM
I don't think it would have to be hugely stronger than an average big dog. I don't think that most people come into contact with dogs that are really looking to fight them on a regular basis. Humans are just gigantic losers in the strength to mass ratio department.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 03:37 PM
I would give that wolf a serious eye poke.Then stick its head into the armhole of my jacket. It would be totally tarped. At that point I would try to ride it and it would collapse under my taco bell augmented body weight.Then wrap my belt around its neck and strangle it, yeah, that's it. Never send a wolf to do a bear's job.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 03:42 PM
Can my friend be this guy? If so my strategy is stand back and watch.

Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 03:44 PM
I don't know about the rest of you pussies, but I would kick the **** out of that wolf.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 03:46 PM
a pissed off wolf would have no problem disposing off you and your tasty friends. His teeth are sharp and you would be scared ****less
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 03:53 PM
Run. You don't have to outrun the wolf. You just have to outrun your friend.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 04:01 PM
come on, haven't you ever played COD4? Break its neck when it goes for your throat.
Or better yet, break its neck when it goes for your friends throat.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 04:09 PM
LOL @ thinking about two drunk/stoned patio loungers taking on a wolf!

You guys might as well be a big 'ole slab of bacon. You'd taste as good, and be about as effective at fighting the wolf.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 04:41 PM
Does my friend have any takedown skills?

Regardless, I sucker punch my friend and run into the house while the wolf finishes him off.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerowo
Does my friend have any takedown skills?

Regardless, I sucker punch my friend and run into the house while the wolf finishes him off.
When I saw you posted in this thread, I was really hoping for a lolcat.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gumpzilla
When I saw you posted in this thread, I was really hoping for a lolcat.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gumpzilla
When I saw you posted in this thread, I was really hoping for a lolcat.
I'll pick up the slack I suppose.



Last edited by solids; 05-28-2008 at 05:27 PM. Reason: Hmm. Maybe I'll just leave it to kerowo from now on...
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 07:25 PM
mmmm go for the eyes and groin?
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 07:25 PM
Do you or your friend have any nunchuck skills?
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 07:28 PM
Clearly we do, but what the **** good does that do us, we have no ****ing chucks. Unless you've got some grand plan with the chairs, I think that leaves us right where we started, which is to say "an entree".
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potatoesareawesome
I'd go like.. KAPOW, and then PEW, and maybe throw in a little SWUSH and the wolf would pretty much be running home to his hypothetical wolf home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daft as a brush
I think i can your friend can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DonkeyKongSr
I'm registering 2men1wolf.com before this hypothetical takes over the internet message boards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by econophile
Could you turn that over to me once you have it set up? My wife would like to use it for a nonprofit educational site.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneel B4 Zod
The wolf begins to circle the boy. Claws of black steel—Fur as the dark night ... Eyes glowing red—jewels from the pit of hell itself. The giant wolf sniffing... savouring the scent of the meal to come. It is not fear that grips him... only a heightened sense of things. Cold air in his lungs... wind-swept pines moving against the coming night. His hands are steady... his form perfect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneel B4 Zod
throw him a baby, hope the wolf raises him, come back in 15 years and see if I can teach the kid how to talk
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zameus
I would give that wolf a serious eye poke.Then stick its head into the armhole of my jacket. It would be totally tarped. At that point I would try to ride it and it would collapse under my taco bell augmented body weight.Then wrap my belt around its neck and strangle it, yeah, that's it. Never send a wolf to do a bear's job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solids
I don't know about the rest of you pussies, but I would kick the **** out of that wolf.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solids
I'll pick up the slack I suppose.


You can all go home now.
everything's been said.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dids
Imagine that you and your friend are chilling on a patio, having a beer or smoking or something, sitting in some camping chairs.

Out of nowhere, this dude



Leaps from a nearby something and lands exactly between you and your friend. Apparently you said something unkind about his sister, because he's fired up and wants to throw down as only a wolf can.

Questions:

1- Do you think you can your friend can fend him off, knowing that he's functionally got intiative in this situation and will likely be able to start his attack before either of you will be out of your chair?

2- Assuming that you do think you can mount some defense, what would be the best tactic? The patio is empty save for your chairs, but it's some 10 feet off the ground. Beyond his apparently ability to teleport into hypothetical situations, this is a normal wolf who just happens to be pissed off, but he's not programmed to fight to the death or anything.

No...wolf kills both of you.
Best bet is to get friend in between you and wolf and let it eat him while u run away
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlieDontSurf
No...wolf kills both of you.
Best bet is to get friend in between you and wolf and let it eat him while u run away
Hence the sucker punch.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Los Feliz Slim
That wolf is no match for me, I've been wrestlin' wolves since it was at its mother's teat.

so, LFS can take on wolf pups.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:26 PM
this depends on what the people are like. I think two in shape 20 year olds would kill a wolf every time. if they were small or fat it would be a lot harder.

I feel like if a wolf was biting someone, giving me 5-10 seconds of free time to attack the wolf, I would absolutely wreck it. between gouging its eyes, kicking him in the ribs and throat, or just jumping on his back and pinning him so my friend can stomp on his head, i don't see how he could possibly win.

if he gets the first guy by the throat immediately incapacitates him, then i think he could win vs 2 guys, but the first guy would have to be an idiot not to put his hands up, and a wolf can bite on someone's arm for a long ass time before they're incapacitated or dead. i remember hearing a 911 call where something like a 75 year old woman got attacked by 2 pit bulls for 15 minutes and survived it. hell, i'd think i could survive a wolf attack on my own patio easy enough just by letting it bite my arm, and opening my door and going inside and slamming the door on its head until it let go.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by M2d
so, LFS can take on wolf pups.
How many wolf pups could LFS take?
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:32 PM
Draw, shoot wolf, return to previous activity unless the deck is yours and stains easily in which case kicking the wolf off may be +EV. Did's choice of chairs sucks though - it'd be a tough draw.

One of the advantages of carrying is having a good answer to this kind of question
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:34 PM
I thought it was a pretty sure thing that y'all would recognize a Groundskeeper Willie reference, but I guess not.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:36 PM
grunch

Take it to POG
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote
05-28-2008 , 08:37 PM
you guys dont think two full grown men could wrestle this thing to the ground and eventually incapacitate it with their extreme weight advantage? sure you'll take some damage but i cant see the wolf winning this unless both the guys are really small.

i had a friend who got attacked by a pitbull and he wrestled it down and pinned it himself. yeah his arm took quite a bit of damage but he still won the battle in a landslide. i cant imagine a wolf being THAT much more strong and fierce than a full grown pitbull.

i think two men win this most the time. especially since you have chairs to help block the wolfs offensive attacks.
Hypothetical wolf situation or "dude.. wait..  what if a wolf jumped us right now?" Quote

      
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