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Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen

02-25-2011 , 12:06 PM
I pretty much hated this guy until he unleashed that venomous (although often nonsensical) tirade against Chuck Lorre, huge smile on my face picturing that guy stew.

Glad he's moved onto somewhat credible porn stars, all the ones hes been seen with before were always real gross.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:08 PM
ya nothings worse than losing people's respect because the quality of porn star you gangbang lacks credibility
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:09 PM
credit: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment...een_radio.html

Quote:
Here are eleven of the most incendiary, odd, or just plain inexplicable things Sheen said on the air:

On his tropical vacation with wife Brooke Mueller, a porn star, and a new mistress:
"Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you're going to need it. Badly … She's not there now and we are and I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn't make the rules. Oops."

On people who talk about him:
"Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."

On Chuck Lorre's Sheen-tweaking vanity card:
"I didn't care for that vanity card … that was one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in almost a decade."

On Lorre himself:
"I'm tired of being told 'You can't talk about that, you can't talk about that.' Bull S-H-I-T. There's something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine — yeah, that's Chuck's real name — mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. Check it, Alex: I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he's above the law."

On his power:
"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

On Major League 3:
"It's being directed and written by a genius named David Ward who, I don't know, won the Academy Award at 23 for writing The Sting? [Ed. He was 29.] It was his pen and his vision that created the classic that we know today as Major League. In fact, a lot of people think the movie's called Wild Thing, as they should. Whatever … If they want me in it, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat."

On why he should be feared:
"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."

Wait, what?
"Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."

No, seriously: What?
"If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your resentments.' Yeah, no. I'm gonna hang on to them, and they're gonna fuel my attack. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sorry, you thought you were just messing with one dude. Winning."

On Alcoholics Anonymous:
"It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? ********! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done … you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!"

On ex-presidents:
"I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy."
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:23 PM
MOST OF THE TIME - AND THIS INCLUDES NAPS - I'M AN F-18, BRO.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:23 PM
winning on his private jet yesterday

Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by amplify
winning on his private jet yesterday


men men men men manly manly men men
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caldarooni
MOST OF THE TIME - AND THIS INCLUDES NAPS - I'M AN F-18, BRO.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:40 PM
Well after that pic, I have to agree with him. He is clearly winning.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:51 PM
He is having a good time. People should leave him alone.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:52 PM
if only Tiger had taken this line
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry17
He is having a good time. People should leave him alone.
If this was just about his health maybe- but he's ****ing up other people's money/lives.

That said- as I am not one of those people- this is hilarious and that interview was so awesome that I'm hard pressed to believe it was real (I do, but I mean, what an amazing thing to actually have happened)
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dids
If this was just about his health maybe- but he's ****ing up other people's money/lives.
wut?
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:56 PM
Charlie pulling a Coco and paying the production staff's salary for 4 episodes would be EPIC and winning.


It would really turn it back on Lorre and CBS and show that they're the reals shitballs in this fiasco.

Last edited by 27offsuit; 02-25-2011 at 01:00 PM. Reason: shitballs ftw!
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dids
If this was just about his health maybe- but he's ****ing up other people's money/lives.

Chuck Lorre/CBS pulled the plug on the show, not Sheen. Sheen was also ready to work weeks ago before the other parties decided to "shut down" to "try and get him help".

Sheen reportedly was always on time, and never caused a problem on the set. He may have stuff going on in his personal life, but he's always been professional. His personal issues were not having an adverse effect on the show...in fact, the ratings have been as strong as ever, and his personal approval rating hasn't changed much.

I'm not buying this statement.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 12:59 PM
Somewhere Michael Irvin is saying to himself damn, I've got to hang out with this guy.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 27offsuit
Charlie pulling a Coco and paying the production staff's salary for 4 episodes would be EPIC and winning.


It would really turn it back on Lorre and CBS and show that they're the reals ***** in this fiasco.
I just read that Charlie is pitching a show to HBO.

Real-life "Eastbound and Down"? This could be ****ing epic.
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:08 PM
"Why give an interview when you can leave a warning?"

No problem with Charles here. Just sounds like he's ****ing insane right now, and I hope he lives to see the other side of it.

My discomfort with the gossip industry remains high!
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by killa
play on playa...play on
WINNING

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Originally Posted by Methodz

Random model, Sheen & Bree Olson lol

Apparently he tried to rent a house in his neighborhood for 250k/mo so he could have a "porn family." His reps obv put a stop to it
WINNING

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Originally Posted by TomCollins
A lot of his points are valid.

AA is a cult and has no better a success rate than anything else.
Calling alcoholism a disease is insulting to people with real diseases. I say this as someone with plenty of alcoholics in the family and addictive tendencies myself.

He is crazy. But crazy people are often right about a lot (see Alex Jones, for example, although he's right about some stuff for completely ******* insane reasons).
WINNING

Quote:
Originally Posted by amplify
winning on his private jet yesterday

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry17
He is having a good time. People should leave him alone.
WINNING.

Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:17 PM
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:27 PM
Quote:
NY Post reports that Sheen made a deal with radaronline.com to take a urine and blood test in front of cameras on Monday, adding, "if they do discover my blood to be tiger blood, I hope that nobody will be shocked."
1) $59.95 PPV?

2) AMAZING
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by samjjones
Chaz Sheen's life is a rich and varied tapestry of greatness. Charlie Sheen lives in Awesometown, population: him.

He probably deserves a properly detailed and ms painted life retrospective thread at some point.
rofl just read his wiki lol wtf he shot kelly preston?
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolnout
rofl just read his wiki lol wtf he shot kelly preston?
accidentally!
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:32 PM
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Now facing the ultimate challenge to clear his name, Sheen told RadarOnline.com: "Out of respect, Dylan Howard called me to see if this was true. I said it was not. Dylan challenged me to a urine test, I told him that if I passed it he would have to drink it!
Hypothetically speaking, how long would the coke have to be out of his system for him to pass a blood and/or urine test?
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by samjjones
Hypothetically speaking, how long would the coke have to be out of his system for him to pass a blood and/or urine test?
Isn't it 3 days for barbiturates?
Charlie Sheen Quote
02-25-2011 , 01:47 PM
My boss went to high school (Malibu High) with Charlie and Emilio (he was Emilio's year). Noted that Charlie was "rather advanced" for his age, while Emilio was "much more level headed than Charlie". The brothers would often have epic blow-out parties at their house (having a famous H'wood actor father ftw).

For some reason the fact that Charlie Sheen has basically been this way his *entire life* makes him only more awesome, imo.

-Al
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