If you approach and do it respectfully then there is no problem.

I hadn't realised Cuepee had already posted the ad when responding to you but that ad is effin cringe, seriously.

If you are in a club/party/etc approach.

If you are in another context, well it depends a lot.

Also not all approaches are the same.

Anyway Cupee, one time try being logical and rational and not just derp talking point repeater drone #1010902293

If you are an attractive women, LOTS of men are obviously going to want to talk to you at random using your criteria.

If they all grew a pair and approached the attractive women, what % of those approaches do you think the women would appreciate?/not appreciate?

Twoplustwoers, a group that has historically been devoid of meaningful social skills, are now apparently an authority on etiquette regarding when it is appropriate to speak with women. Thought I'd seen everything...

Turning a thread about incels into one bordering an actual incel thread is impressive. Turning every topic into a totally polarized "debate" would be funny if it wasn't so predictable.

Stop projecting your inadequacies on others.

It is very easy to approach a women and engage in discussions without making her feel 'hit on' which can then allow you to explore whether there is any ability to ask her for her number or a follow up meeting.

You guys use words like "cringy" or "creepy" as that is your projection of what it would be like for you.

When i cold approach a women, which I do all the time and have always done, it is not to 'pick them up'. It is to engage in some minor small talk thing I have picked out to engage over and a guy who pays attention and is responsive and respectful can easily advance things or end them as required.

My number 1 advice to all guys is to pay attention to how she responds. One word answers or replies with no engagement mean move on. If she is at all interested or curious she will engage back with more info or a question of her own back to you. You build upon that engagement for as long as she is actively engaged and you politely excuse yourself and move on if she is not engaging. You do not 'pull teeth'.

Again this is yet another example of why the Carlin meme is so apt. You have two guys who think about their own ineptitude and what works or does not work for them, who then tell others not to act because of their failings.

And since I know you guys love my anecdotes.


I ended up dating a gal for about 3 months, a few years back, that I engaged in the middle of a cross walk as we walked in opposite directions. As I passed her I thought she looked fabulous (late 40's but in great shape and dressed to impress) and told her as much saying 'you look fabulous decked out in that hat' and I just continued to walk past her as the compliment was earnest and free and I expected nothing in return. She did not need to say anything back. But she did. She laughed and said 'oh you need to walk with me' and I turned around and went with her to the other sidewalk where we chatted and we agreed to meet over coffee and did.

I have never met a women who reacts badly to a compliment like that, that is not sexual, especially when you offer it in passing, with no expectation you are going to linger.

I made a commitment to myself years ago, that if I thought something really complimentary about any person (man or woman) and I was in a place to tell them, I would do so. I had my little moment where I felt people seemed to be more open to griping and sharing negatives about others while biting their tongues on compliments and I promised myself to share any positives that came to my head. I am known for that with both guys and gals alike, to walk up and offer a compliment and to move on. And I would say only 10% of the time am I attracted to the women. And I would say it is near 100% of the time I get positive to effusive feedback from the person. Especially the women. I think I was probably inspired by all the 'Random act of Kindness' talk back then and people doing things like 'paying for the coffee of the person behind them in line' stuff.

I just imagine uke on campus, stewing in his inadequacies telling a student why it is wrong to share such positive thoughts with others because uke cannot imagine himself doing so without being cringy.

It is so eluminating to see things through the eyes of others as it really does speak to the view through their eyes. If a person cannot imagine an approach being respectful it is because they cannot imagine doing one in a respectful way.

Bolded is key.

First it is not a guys job to try and control how a woman will perceive anything or to be expected to guess 'if she is in the mood for a compliment'.

That is the number one mistake men make by putting that pressure on themselves and wondering if 'she is open' or 'will be receptive'.

Sorry guys need to get over that. You can only control how you feel and how you act upon it. And if you feel, that is a woman you would like to take a chance to get to know, and this is a once in a lifetime chance as you will likely never see here again. Then approach.

This is not as hard as guys want to pretend. And the key is her response. If you say 'hi' and she replies 'hi', and you proceed to 'how are you' and her reply is 'fine', it is time to start moving on. be polite, say you just wanted to say hi, and excuse yourself. No harm, no foul. An interested woman will show a modicum of engagement, with a reply like 'fine thx, how are you'. She is prompting you to keep the discussion going.

It is not the guys job to guess she might not be in the mood and not try. I have had very good looking female friends complain bitterly that guys will not get up, come over and make an introduction when they are interested and feel the guy was interested and did not approach. A guy will never know that, until he tries.

As disgusting and creepy as trying to flirt with random women walking past you on the street undeniably is, and as harmful to women as it would be if men are constantly harassing them this way, it isn't even good advice to the young incel's Cuepee is trying to save! If they can't learn when it is - and emphatically is not - appropriate to start trying to flirt with women, if they can't figure out that not all contexts are the same and a complete stranger walking down the street isn't a some great opportunity for you to try and get laid, they are destined for continual rejection and expressions of disgust from these women, furthering the cycle of self-perception that they are pathetic incels.

You imagine a lot of really weird ****.

While I think in isolation that your method sounds respectful and harmless, just imagine if every man adopted it in a large city. Women would be inundated with contact every time they were out in public. I could see that becoming quite annoying, even if it wasn't predatory. Many women are already being approached multiple times a day.

Maybe you've seen this video. Some (a minority) of these men are just saying hello or giving a compliment. I would not want to experience this on a daily basis and as a man, I don't want to be a part of this chorus (even if I were not expecting something in return):

I spent about a decade taking the subways in Toronto every day. You learn a lot about people that way. Particularly the creeps. I remember distinctly a case where I was in the same car with a particularly tall young women, over 6 feet, for it can't have been more than 15 minutes. And in that time three different guys came up to her and commented on how tall she was. This was just going to be the life of this women, just ****ing endless approaches by random guys for stepping out in public.

Don't be one of those guys.

You are reading straight into uke's mind here.

Not one ounce of exaggeration in that comment.

He simply cannot imagine or accept ANY engagement with a woman that is not "disgusting", "creepy" , "harmful", "harassing" "pathetic".

That concept a few years back of doing a 'random act of kindness' daily, you can so easily see uke proclaims is 'obtrusive', 'gross', 'wrong', etc as he lectures others not to do it based on his insecurities and fears of how he feels he would come across.

I mean, there honestly could be nothing that is more a projection of ones own insecurities than his screed above.

He leaves no room, NONE, for it to be 'welcomed', 'flattering', 'enjoyed', etc. Just not an option in his world view.

And worse uke is here to OOBOO on behalf of ALL women, as he literally speaks for them all and says they do not want it. He, uke, knows this.


Of all the battles I have had with uke this is the most illuminating as to who he is and how he would operate in his workplace, the university. Lecturing 'others' based on his inadequacies and fears as to how to act and leaving no room for differences.

I have no issue with anyone else not wanting to 'cold' approach. To each their own. But uke does not live in that world. He does not respect that anyone can or should do anything he is cringy at (Carlin Meme).

Sadly, I expected this strawman to occur. I obviously do not think this. We are focusing on a specific engagement, that of the video, where a man swaggers up to a woman who is doing nothing but walking past them on a street. That context is creepy af and is correctly called out by the friend in the commercial. However there are plenty of other contexts where it is totally reasonable to engage a women and isn't creepy etc.

Perhaps the only thing illuminating is how you are connecting this to my choice of profession. You seem quite obsessed by it. I teach math, not how to be a PUA for young incels. Although, if I did teach that, I would teach those young incels to approach women in more appropriate contexts than randomly walking past you on a street, so as to not further the sense of them being constantly rejected and found creepy af.

Again, it is not the guys job to assume anything on behalf of a women.

You guys continually default to '...but what if she is irritated'

This idea that life owes you no frustrations in life and people are to try and guess them, is absurd. I have people say 'hello' and try to make small talk every day on my elevators. Are they wrong when I am not in the mood and right when I am?

It is not other people's job to guess. it is their job to act upon their own wishes (to say hello, pay a compliment) and be respectful in all they do. Full stop.

i feel like that fox news anchor jesse waters would fit in with some of the people itt..

he recently admitted that while married he intentionally let air out of one of the younger female anchors car tires so that he could get her in his car. he said this like it was a completely normal boys will be boys thing.

Context matters. While the example in the Gilette commercial is clearly creepy, small talk in an elevator done somewhat tactfully is not. Guess what, I'll say hi on elevators too! Yes, I know, your mouth must be on the floor with this utter contradiction of your nightmare vision of me stomping around the universities lecturing at any boy whose eyes rise from the floor.

If most of the time the people who initiated small talk with you on the elevator clearly had a sexual motive, were bigger and stronger than you, and it happened multiple times every day you'd probably feel differently. Putting yourself in other's shoes and considering how your words and actions may affect them is not absurd.

How dare you.

If one other person hates being talked to on the elevator and thinks is cringy 'how ****ing dare you assume'??

Again Carlin Meme applies. Everything uke thinks is ok to do is thereby 'obviously ok for him and anyone to do', anything he thinks is not ok to do is thereby 'wrong and cringy for others to do'.

What is the true differentiating factor??? 'uke's view.

And people like uke will never understand. And i mean never, why things they think seem so logical and proper to do, are not what everyone else thinks to do.

How can people not understand they are an 'idiot' if they are driving slower than you and a 'maniac' if they are driving faster??

I mean I have figured out the perfect speed for all and it is the one I am comfortable driving.




People laugh at this meme as 'oh my god so simplistic, it has no real meaning', as they live their lives oblivious they are doing what he is mocking, unbeknownst to themselves, all the time.

uke is that oblivious person.

Gillette made the commercial highlighting that it is inappropriate to be leering after a woman just because they walk past you on the street. Not me. This isn't some unique view of mine.

Don't be that creepy person trying to approach women walking past you on the street. Just don't be that guy. There are plenty of places where it is appropriate to approach women.

God, posting George Carlin memes in 2022 as though they’re profound insights is peak Boomer energy.

Again, it is not your job to 'put yourself in women's shoes' and think for them. That is condescending and you will be wrong more than right.

Let me put it another way that maybe will resonate with some of our more lefty folk here 'it is the patriarchy in action for men to assume on behalf of women and then make decisions on women's behalf'.



This is what I know and what I can control.

- I have desire to talk to that person man or woman for business or for personal
- I do not know if on that day they are open or not and it is not my job to try and guess or assume that
- If I want to approach, i should, but with consideration it is unsolicited and thus any engagement I get back must be respected, even if that engagement is 'no engagement'
- I can make sure I am not approaching a women in any location that should make her feel unsafe.

The idea that I am in a public place at any point and think "I would like to introduce myself to person X' and it should not be done because OTHERS assume a host of reasons person X might not want to be approached on that day is the height of absurdity.

Stop speaking for others. Stop OOBOO'ing for others. That person may be thrilled to be approached. May have been hoping you would approach. Or not. We CANNOT assume.

What we can do, is control our own actions and just approach respectfully and disengage respectfully if not desired. If another adult cannot handle that, that is on them and not you.


I bet you I pay more random compliments (especially pre covid) to people than most people say 'hi'. Especially to women in my age range. Women I have zero interest in sexually but can see they put some effort in their dress that day, like they are going somewhere with a purpose. It is more common than not for me when simply walking past her to say 'looking fabulous and smart today' and to keep on walking, and the amount of effusive thank you' s I get from that, I think would drive uke, and the other 'women are only offended by talk' guys into a tizzy.

I actually admonish myself if I bite my tongue and do not comment, as I believe it is a random act of kindness and costs nothing to do and i have had so many women tell me "i just made their day' or something similar. I have only had the odd strange look from men, as men are not used to be complimented for how they look and I think many guys might think then they are being hit on by another guy, and since I am a rather big POC, I understand how that can make some guys with insecurities feel nervous, lol. BUt i do it anyway.

It all stems from my rugby days, i think, and how I have said Rugby initiation was that each guy had to hit on 100 girls a night on our bar outings, until you got a number or a yes. If you failed you had to buy drinks for all the seniors. It was a 'bro' way to help any guys get over any shyness with women as I never knew of any guy to fail. You approached a hundred women, first off you got immune to hearing 'no' and you learned a 'yes' was just an 'ask' away, and guys who could meet gals and pick up, were of more use to the group than guys who could not.

That process certainly taught me (as I was somewhat reserved, if not shy prior) to not fear putting myself out there, and approaching anyone I wanted, female or male, for whatever reason I want (business or pleasure). And how to read signs of engagement well and how to disengage and move on well.

ewwww don't be this guy. ****ing boomers, man.

There is a reason that commercial is far more widely panned than applauded. Sure there are a few OOBOOing busy body internet White Knight types who applaud it but the vast, vast mojority gave it a thumbs down.

No shock where you fall uke.



Gillette faces backlash and boycott over '#MeToo advert'
...It currently has 23,000 likes and 214,000 dislikes, at time of writing - and that's increasing all the time....



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Gillette Advert: The Most Disliked ‘Social ‘Video on Internet – But Why? Experts Analysis


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That idiotic Gillette ad may have turned the tide on ‘toxic masculinity’


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Gillette’s new ad will trash its sales and be the year’s worst marketing move
Gillette’s purpose-driven attempt to revitalise its slogan, ‘The best a man can get’, isn’t just a waste of ad budget but an expensive exercise in destroying its dominant market share.