a variation of this, which im sure has been heard a million times, prolly also in this thread, is that all hole cards are 50-50 preflop because you dont know what the flop will be.

i had some old guy in a bar league tell me that one.

"Good dealers make sure the aces are equally spread out within the deck before putting it in the shuffle machine. That way the deck becomes more random."

There was a high school teacher who told us that three times is the optimal number of shuffles -- any more than that and the deck will become less random as you shuffle it back together.

Math teacher reporting in.

"Less random" wouldn't make sense. You can't have things "more random" or "less random" ... they're either random or they aren't.

Anywho, after 7 perfect riffle shuffles, the deck will be as if you hadn't touched it.

Experiment for yourself with a pre-arranged deck and notice how the pattern changes from shuffle to shuffle to see what your math teacher *meant* to tell you.

As an aside, most dealers don't shuffle perfectly anyways. It takes a whole ton of practice to do exactly every other card 7 times in a row.

It's after 8 shuffles. And it has to be 'out' shuffles, where the top card always stays on top (as opposed to 'in' shuffles, where the top card becomes second from the top after every shuffle)

Which is a good thing, because its only thing that makes the distribution "random".

"If I wanted to play in a game that allowed mississippi straddles, I'd just go play in the ghetto."

That and the fact that they strip (box) the deck before the last riffle.

You are right! I got mixed up after remembering this paper:

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~chance/cou...ng_number.html


Which thoroughly explains why with imperfect riffle shuffles you need to shuffle at least 7 times to have randomness.

1/3 nl Board is x28x8 I bet with 22 the whole way and table my cards right after getting called by 2 players and say dueces full. Older lady thinks for 5 seconds then tables j8 and says 3 8s. Dealer starts pushing me the pot and she says wait I have 3 8s he looks at the board again looking for a full house for her. And starts pushing me the pot again and she says I have 3 8s again dealer says he has a full house he has the best hand. I don't think she had a ever did get it and somehow thought she got screwed.

Just something small that happened the other day, I bought in for $290 and the kid next to me asked if I didn't like even numbers lol.

LO!L!!!

Just recently recalled some thinking I had way back when I was a live noob. Not really absurb, just kinda funny.

So it's my first time playing live poker in a casino. It's the early 90's, me and my cousin have driven down to the bright lights / big city of Las Vegas for the first time and we're in the Stratosphere (I think it had just been built). We're playing 7 card stud and I barely know how to play it (straight beats a flush, right? other way around? whatever, I'm going for fullhouses). For some reason I'm not doing too well and I'm down to my last small piles of chips.

Across the table from me is this scary looking black guy (um, all black guys are scary looking when you're a pale white boy from the sticks who ain't never seen one before, whatever, racist ban, just painting a picture here). Anyhoo, the scary black guy is aggressively behind all the preflop and flop raising in this particular hand, and I call along like the fish I was. On sixth street I expertly hit a two outer for my gutshot (50/50 making it with two of my outs already being shown elsewhere, right math guys?) and make the nuts I paid so handsomely for.

But oh-oh. I realize at this point that I only have a few more chips left in my pile. If scary black guy bets the sixth or seventh streets, I don't have enough chips to call! I'll have to fold!!! Oh no! My cousin's playing at the table beside me, maybe he can lend me some money to see the hand thru?? Oh no oh no oh no, how did I get myself in this situation, I can't believe it! I've got some money in my room, maybe the dealer will let me go up to my room and get it?? I should be allowed to do that, right? But if I ask the dealer if I'm allowed to get money from my cousin or my room, that's a "tell", right? This scary black guy looks like he's been around the block, he'll pick up on that, know I don't have the money on me to cover his bets, and he'll bet me out of the pot! Oh no!

But I'm too smart. I'm gonna have to outplay him with my brain. I just stare the scary black guy right in the eyes. He checks sixth street. Woo-hoo, it's working! I check behind, sucka. One bullet dodged.

Seven street, nothing, and I still got the best hand. But I still don't have enough chips to cover a bet. My heart is racing. I'm all sweaty and stinky. A bead drips from my forehead into my eye and it kinda goes all blinky, but I wipe it away and I stare down the scary black guy again. After an agonizing what seems forever, he finally checks. HA HA! SUCKA! Oh man, this is too funny, YOU BLEW IT BUDDY! I laugh out loud and check behind, table my nuts, and do a little fist pump. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAZ BET AND I WOULDA HAD TO FOLD THE RIVER, YOU IDIOT! HA HA HA HA HA!

That was too close! Score one for the country bumpkin, city boys!

GstupidpalewhiteboyfromthesticksG

Hilarious story. Why would you think it needs the racism to add anything to it?

I think the racism was clearly (?) tongue in cheek. But, to be completely honest, he was a scary looking black guy and I was a pale white boy out of my element. It was what it was.

Gifitappeasesmods,replace"scary"with"wearingahat"G

Haha, A+ post.

Reminds me of A Lucky Hand for a Little Lady movie. I guess 100 years ago, if you couldn't cover a bet, you lose.

Played at Ameristar in St Louis a few days ago. This annoying girl (constantly shows hands and gives 'commentary' on she outplayed people, etc) was at my table that is a semi-regular. She gets involved in a pot with a super ultra nitty old guy. She led out from early position, he 3 bet from button. Any raise from this guy, especially a three bet is pretty much aces, or the nuts if post flop.

Nitty old guy had maybe $175 or so to start hand, the woman had over $300.

Anyways, the flop is like 8 high with no draws, she check calls his ~$25 bet. Turn is a ten. She donk bets like $25 into a $100 pot and he insta-ships for like $100 more. She turns JJ face up and spends about a minute asking him questions, counting her chips, talking aloud about the hand when it was obvious to everyone that she was not good here. Finally she says she doesn't believe him or something like that and calls.

Of course he shows AA, and she spikes a jack on river to bust him. Old guy leaves table to get more chips. That alone isn't too bad, though it would have been an easy fold against this guy for most people. But the woman started talking...

Woman says "I knew he had AA!!" like she was proud of her read and guy next to me then asks her 'so why did you call?'. "Because I had $150 left after I called." "What??" "I called because I knew he had aces but I would still have $150 left".

They go back and forth for like 5 minutes her digging a hole of assininity deeper by the second. It got to the point where she was arguing that "if he had turned his aces face up on turn I still would have called becase I would have had $150 left if I had lost".

Old guy says "so if he had shown aces preflop and pushed allin would you have called with jacks because you had more chips?" and she just violently nods up and down while giving him a look like he was the biggest idiot she'd ever met."

FYP. Good movie, once you get by this stupid non-rule.
I don't believe poker was often or ever really played this way (as opposed to table stakes). (I don't quite go back 100 years, although some nights it feels like it.) But it's a common plot device in the movies, and (I think as a result) a lot of non-poker-playing people think it's the rule.

Thought of one more. Playing 1/3 at a casino a few months ago. I'm in late position with KJ, flop is 9TQ rainbow maybe $15 in pot. Donk bets out like $10, I raise to $35, he calls. Heads up in the hand he donk bets $10 again on the turn when a blank hits and I raise a little bigger probably about $65. He calls. River is another blank, he donk bets tiny again, I have like $80 left and I shove and he calls.

I show the nuts and he loses his mind, starts yelling "what were you so scared of??! What were you protecting yourself against??" and "You were so scared you had to raise with THAT HAND??!!". And he of course was telling everyone that would listen that I was a horrible player who had to raise to protect my hand when I had the nuts.

Not sure if this is absurd or not...was great for me though.

I limp then call a raise to 8 in 1/2 with 77 with 4 to the flop.

Flop comes 3 7 Q with 2 hearts. I lead out for 25, 1 caller. Turn is a blank like an 8c. I bet 60, 1 caller. River is the Jh. I bet 60 again, ready to lay down to a ship. Villain folds QQ face up saying I knew you were on the flush draw and betting it like a noob the whole way. If that heart doesn't hit I bet you go all in and I get all your money.

I sit there with what i assume is a shocked look on my face. Just say good read as I stack the chips. Lucky to avoid the cooler.

I heard a guy at the Borgata the other day on my left playing 2/5 saying that he remembers how every single person plays that he has ever played against, no matter the time span.

Also, any general poker talk at the 2/5 limits at Borgata is pretty comical in itself.

Yes it's absurd and on multiple levels. If he puts you on a flush draw he has to...

A. Raise the flop bet.

B. If he doesn't raise on the flop, he needs to raise on the turn.

C. If he is going to smooth call the flop and turn, he has to call the river, especially when he's getting almost 4-1.

The most absurd thinking I ever heard is when players who can't read Omaha hands at showdown.

At river I have AJXX

Board is J299X

Villain has J2XX

This other old guy pipes up and says villain has two pair Jacks and twos because you must use two cards and that I have only 1pair.

The dealer had to call the floor because old guy got out of line. He said "I've played poker for 30 years I think I know the rules" ......he was the biggest loser at the game I ever meet.

I love this.

Several years ago I played in a tournament type thing in a bar, back when I was like 17 or 18 I think. I don't recall the action really, but it was a big pot, maybe even all in by the river for a significant amount of chips. Board was Axxxx with four clubs. I had the king of clubs for the nuts. Drunk middle aged guy had something like the 7 of clubs. I of course start raking in the chips before this huge commotion goes down. He is going crazy saying it's a split pot with both of us having an ace high flush, and my friend and I are both just loling at him and saying that's not how it works. Of course being the old wise guy he believe he has to be right since we're just dumb kids.

The "floor", aka the bar owner ended up ruling in our favor, but not before we came pretty close to getting in a bar fight with a drunk guy. I'm pretty sure I've been in several other situations when people have been sure they knew something while I'm just facepalming at their stupidity.