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I put in & rotate the laundry about half the time, & hang my own clothes that don't go in the dryer...but she does 100% of the folding because I don't do it right.

I also had to switch the direction I put my shirts on the hanger because I apparently used to do it backwards? Dunno, it was more important to her than to me...

I don't let anyone else fold either. I didn't know there was a front/back to flat hangers...so I probably do it wrong, too.

01-14-2016 , 10:55 PM

#8202

allinontheturn

'Merican Dullard

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 22,649

God I'm such a 21st Century male ******* stereotype. Watching football talking with my friend about the implications of why she folded & organized his laundry .... Couldn't make this **** up.

01-14-2016 , 10:56 PM

#8203

allinontheturn

'Merican Dullard

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 22,649

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

I don't let anyone else fold either. I didn't know there was a front/back to flat hangers...so I probably do it wrong, too.

Maybe only half the time. So you got that going for you.

01-14-2016 , 11:03 PM

#8204

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Quote:

Originally Posted by allinontheturn

This would be my principal criticism. There's two things happening here simultaneously (imo of course). People are doing "emotional labor" and actual labor for others because a) they care for them and want to manifest that and b) want things done their god damn way.

One of those things is a lot more magnanimous than the other.

Yes.

Had this conversation with a friend recently. He was over at my house because he was escaping his wife. She had an argument with her mother and was taking it out on him. I invited him over to watch football. She sent him a text that she had organized his clothes with pics. We decided that she had done this as a token of apology (the other texts she sent were really sweet also). But he just doesn't care about how his t-shirts are organized or disorganized so it was really difficult for him to demonstrate appreciation to her. He asked me if I gave a **** about that stuff & then I showed him my t-shirt drawer.

Spoiler:

that's hot.

I just switched him to the horizontal system (which I also use for the kids) because I was tired of cleaning up after he dug through.

If he complains when he gets home. I swear to God I will hitherto be throwing out any clothing that is unfolded and hanging out of his drawer, making it impossible to close/put laundry away.

01-14-2016 , 11:04 PM

#8205

wisski

mister fancy lad exceeded expectations achievement boy

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,479

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

There's a lot in there that would destroy your position, and you're DRAMATICALLY understating the importance of the entire breadth and depth of "Female issues".

But let's assume that wasn't so, and look at your post any way...

1. Her taking on additional Emotional Labour does not have any bearing on physical labour. Youre making an erroneous assumption. She is more likely to care for and carry children, scrub floors, haul groceries, etc. Unless he's a construction worker and she's an office worker... I'd guess that the average wife and mother does more physical labour for the family, not less. And housewives like myself are becoming a fairly rare minority.

2. Re: "She's stressing about **** that doesn't ****ing matter"
-Why are you the judge of what matters to her, and how much?
-Yes, it does matter for all the reasons outlined in the link.
- Why do you think saying, "relax, bitch" is a better response than, "This is important to her, and she is important to me. How can I help her be happy?"

Argument is very selfish imo, not caring about those things makes me happy. So why should it be only me sacrificing and not both ways? I don't care how the laundry is done, only that it is complete. I don't care that people remember my birthday so why must I remember theirs... I guess it just strikes me as very odd that you feel slighted because he doesn't do something your way.

Children are a different argument and I won't get into that wrt emotional labor.

01-14-2016 , 11:06 PM

#8206

wisski

mister fancy lad exceeded expectations achievement boy

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,479

Quote:

Originally Posted by allinontheturn

God I'm such a 21st Century male ******* stereotype. Watching football talking with my friend about the implications of why she folded & organized his laundry .... Couldn't make this **** up.

Maybe it's all the lead in your water?

01-14-2016 , 11:19 PM

#8207

allinontheturn

'Merican Dullard

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 22,649

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisski

Maybe it's all the lead in your water?

01-14-2016 , 11:24 PM

#8208

LuckyLuke01

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 3,413

Quote:

Originally Posted by allinontheturn

Yes.

lol. is all i can say to this.

marriage in the the 21 century is a no no. the only time it was every good is pre 1960

01-14-2016 , 11:28 PM

#8209

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisski

Yawn.

01-14-2016 , 11:35 PM

#8210

wisski

mister fancy lad exceeded expectations achievement boy

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,479

Is there a way to download the thread and make it readable offline? I've got nearly 20 hrs on airplanes coming up shortly and no wifi... So I could read and formulate an educated opinion

01-14-2016 , 11:47 PM

#8211

JMurder3

not god, probably jebus

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 53,649

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

I don't let anyone else fold either. I didn't know there was a front/back to flat hangers...so I probably do it wrong, too.

If you look at the hanger as a "c", apparently it's supposed to be a backwards "c".

01-14-2016 , 11:53 PM

#8212

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisski

Is there a way to download the thread and make it readable offline? I've got nearly 20 hrs on airplanes coming up shortly and no wifi... So I could read and formulate an educated opinion

Just download the pdf and read about emotional labor. Then don't tell us any of your opinions about it. Ever.

01-14-2016 , 11:55 PM

#8213

allinontheturn

'Merican Dullard

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 22,649

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckyLuke01

lol. is all i can say to this.

marriage in the the 21 century is a no no. the only time it was every good is pre 1960

Fortunately for you nobody is forcing you to get married.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisski

Is there a way to download the thread and make it readable offline? I've got nearly 20 hrs on airplanes coming up shortly and no wifi... So I could read and formulate an educated opinion

Yes, you ought to be able to click the arrow pointing towards the bottom of your screen.

01-15-2016 , 12:00 AM

#8214

gregorio

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 39,361

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

AIOTT or Gregorio will have to let you know.

don't drag me into this

01-15-2016 , 12:21 AM

#8215

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by allinontheturn

Fortunately for you nobody is forcing you to get married.

Yes, you ought to be able to click the arrow pointing towards the bottom of your screen.

It's fine if he gets married. I just hope that he never has kids.

01-15-2016 , 12:21 AM

#8216

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by gregorio

don't drag me into this

YOU'RE IN IT NOW MAN

01-15-2016 , 12:24 AM

#8217

gregorio

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 39,361

01-15-2016 , 12:25 AM

#8218

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by wisski

Also, I think it's pretty ******ed that you're trying to argue/combat the conversation here without even reading the article that we're discussing.

You're just bullying your opinion in here and dismissing hers without even knowing where the **** she's coming from. That's emotional labor abuse in itself.

Dickhead.

01-15-2016 , 12:27 AM

#8219

King_of_NYC

betting he never calls me again

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4,430

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jackitos

Just download the pdf and read about emotional labor. Then don't tell us any of your opinions about it. Ever.

all of this

01-15-2016 , 12:27 AM

#8220

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by King_of_NYC

this

Hello

01-15-2016 , 12:29 AM

#8221

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

Quote:

Originally Posted by King_of_NYC

all of this

Hello

01-15-2016 , 12:30 AM

#8222

Jackitos

srs biz

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 17,561

I'm salty and don't know why

01-15-2016 , 12:34 AM

#8223

King_of_NYC

betting he never calls me again

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4,430

acknowledgment is the first step to something something

01-15-2016 , 12:35 AM

#8224

King_of_NYC

betting he never calls me again

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4,430

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jackitos

Hello

hey now

01-15-2016 , 12:58 AM

#8225

King_of_NYC

betting he never calls me again

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4,430

Skimmed the paper then started to tl:dr, but will abbreviate instead:

It's not what you do for each other that matters. Instead it's really about what needs you're not meeting. What are you not doing for your other that's the real issue, and will eventually come to a head.

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