Cuck

Nothing wrong with a bit of cuck and ****.

Put an H next to the C and you get some tasty words.

Chicken. Chocolate. Cheese. Children. Nom nom.

There's a reason you'd sound like a misogynist. It's because you talk exactly like one. Even if in jest, your opinions on a lot of topics are really abrasive and anti-female. I think you lack the understanding of how difficult it can be for women, and you chalk it up to "they do the same thing, so it's ok." Or "LOL THIS DOESN'T MATTER TO ME, SO IT'S STUPID."

I ain't even mad, but you're just being .... I don't even know the word I'm looking for, so bleh.

Communication is key, sure, yeah, obviously. Just because you are communicating, it doesn't mean that you're not taking advantage of the situation anyways.

And don't take anything I've said as white knighting: Kristy and I are good friends, but we rarely agree on anything. I'm not super bought into the whole EL thing, but I can see where the typical emotionally stunted/selfish males can really hurt women. I've seen my friends ruin relationships because they're clueless as to what is actually going on their lives. And they asked me what happened.. I tell them and they don't get it.

Also, if you are going to read that document. Read it and don't try to apply it your current situation until you've read the whole thing. Because what's going to happen is: you'll dismiss because it doesn't fit in with your current relationship and then stop reading it/not pay attention to it because that part didn't apply to you.

Mmm food

The pain I've saved you, over the years by not clicking...

Today is fredday.
Friday
Friday
Jump on the bandwagon...everyone
Its gonna be a blast.

Bump

Makes sense. I scroll through the rack left to right and want to see the front.


.

Dabble you were a lot more fun when you weren't explaining your jokes in spoilers.

Sometimes a post matches the posters avatar so well that the stars align & it makes me smile.

This is my theme song

I wasn't planning on it; but this discussion has piqued my curiosity. I'm going to actually read that EL paper this weekend.

1. I think you're right that women make sexist generalizations as well, BUT that does not invalidate this discussion of female issues, AND it isn't ok to shift the conversation from her needs to male needs.

There is a time and place for a valid discussion of male challenges, but as a distraction or justification from this issue, is not it.


2. I am one of the people who posted about the difficulty expressing these feelings, and am not remotely insecure about my abilities as a communicator.

Your over-simplification misses the obvious point...women are discouraged from acknowledging/exploring this inequity.

We're told that it isn't a real issue, we're told that if we aren't happily doing it out of love...we might be selfish, we're told that we're over reacting, imagining things, weak, ignorant...etc.

Jack, JM3, and AIOTT, I'm going to use you as examples because I think you are all great communicators with NO interest in, or inclination towards, misogyny...at all.

Jack: "She likes those things"
-perhaps, but that doesn't mean they aren't a great deal of work that deserve appreciation and thanks. (I know that you get that already)

JM3: "So, if things are all good...I don't need to do anything?"
-are they good because they're good...or because she, like a lot of women, isnt able to consciously map out the issue in a way that is fit for discussion? You possibly have an unique opportunity to get in front of it by being appreciative of the scope of her work for you.

AIOTT: "Is she being loving, caring, magnanimous....or self-interested"

First, I'm not sure the two are mutually exclusive in this context.
Second, I wonder what it does to this type of conversation, when you create an "all or nothing" scenario. It's already difficult to frame the issue, and it is an internal struggle to answer the questions like, "Am I being fair", "Am I over reacting", "Does wanting acknowledgement/assistance make me a bad partner or selfish?", "Why aren't other women openly struggling with this?"

You get it.

I think so too, but everyone says I'm being a downer.

This post made me smile twice yesterday. I like the positive spin.

o/u 2 weeks until you're banging your friend's wife.

whoa, new paged hard

You're out of practice

No they're certainly not mutually exclusive. If you go back and look at my initial post I said that both things are happening simultaneously although I suppose I could have made that more clear. So, that sort of negates part of your second response because I don't think it's an "all or nothing" scenario. How you framed the issue with those questions later in the second portion seems more than fair.

Can you explain to me what you mean by this post? In a spoiler perhaps.

No way man. I work out in his garage. Can't risk it.

There's a part in that collection that talks about worrying that you will hurt the males feelings, and have to walk on eggshells during this conversation...

Which I will now fly in the face of.

I chose you three purposefully. I don't think you would do anything other than your best for women you love.

Only, imagine what talking to a stereotypical male about this is like, when I can't even talk to you without further explanation/qualification. The part that I highlighted earlier about gas-lighting and minimizing is a huge problem.

Also, I meant "When ONE creates an all or nothing..." not "you, AIOTT."

I'm saying even you towed that line, enlightened as you are.

You don't need to worry about further explanation/qualification hurting my feelings. To me the issues I brought up are closely related. You said before that I'm still single basically because I'm too picky. Which may be true but one of the things I'm picky about is forming a relationship where I'm not infantilized in my own home. As a single adult male I can make the decisions about what is in my fridge or when the dishes get washed or organizing my budget etc etc etc. I find that women (very broadly speaking) co-opt this emotional labor space without even considering that their male partners may have different preferences. If the goal of this discussion is for men to be more aware/attentive/appreciative of the emotional labor of their partners, which I think it ought to be then I think it's fair to ask women to have some introspection about why they are doing this beyond ****ING PATRIARCHY and to admit that some of it is self serving.

Ok, thank you that makes sense but you can see how it makes a strawman of my position then.

I'm uncertain what this means.

I DIDN'T GET A CHOICE. BITCH JUST CAME IN AND CHANGED MY LIFE. I WANT A REFUND

My position by the way is entirely self serving. If women by in large gave up some of that emotional labor space they would be more attractive to what I'm looking for in a partner and I'd have what I'd consider to be more & better options.

Assuming those more and better options would have me that is.