El Diesel sat there sulking at the buffet. He didn't know how much time it was in minutes. Only idiots measured time in minutes. His date was however now 4.5 boxes of frosted flakes late. Soon he would be 5 boxes late now doubt. But he still couldn't get mad at the Troop. After all, Troop did say last time that would be their last time together. Usually, when Troop does that, he would take a couple hundred boxes of frosted flakes before he would respond. Once Trooper had made Diesel wait for nearly 4,000 boxes before their next tryst - waiting for that many boxes was unbearable.

His earlier texts and calls had gone unanswered, so in a bid of desperation, Diesel offered up some of his promo coupons and suggested they meet at the buffet. The worst part of waiting at a buffet for your lover was it would be rude to begin eating without him. Therefore, you were only measuring theoretical boxes and not physically measuring. With a spoon of course. To pass the boxes better, El Diesel carefully monitored his appearance in the reflective wall. His beard was still untrimmed because Troop liked to run his fingers through every inch of it. Especially the cheek patches, which Tim affectionally called the forbidden zone. He also had left the part covering the neck going wild because it gave Troop a better grip to choke him mid-coitus. His shirt and shorts were also on point. El Diesel had carefully studied the most erotic television show of all time, Star Trek, the original series. He'd learned that what was sexy wasn't showing skin or nudity but costumes that appeared like they were barely hanging on and would fall off at a moment's notice. He thus bought the most poorly fitting shirts and shorts imaginable, just to entice the Troop in the event they crossed paths in an empty monorail.

Shorts were also essential because Troop was infatuated with cankles, so he decided it was best then to at least show a little skin. To top it off, he had a strap for his bag running across his chest in order to emphasize his ample cleavage. After all, everyone knew Troop was all about dem titties. Those titties were how they met. Diesel was riding a crowded monorail one day and his chest was pressed up against the window. As the monorail arrived at the station, the Troop was eyeballs just inches away from those sweet sweaty milkbags pressed against the window. The doors opened, Diesel flopped forward as the doors open much like a gigantic cock no longer constrained by tight underwear, and fell into Trooper's arms. "Thank you so much, I was going to fall," El Diesel said cloyingly. "Damn boy, you got dem tig ol bitties. You would crush it in the vlog game with the thumbnails you could produce. Let's discuss this further while we enjoy some comped food."

El Diesel would never forget that moment. He knew he was forever helpless to Trooper once he heard about a mutual appreciation of comps. He thought more about that moment, how suave and cool and collected Troop was. Who else could think of "tig ol bitties" in the midst of a daring rescue? Troop was it, he was the one.

Suddenly a set of needle nose pliers was plopped down on the table. Absent mindedly he told the ambitious waiter, "No thank you, I will not be having the shrimp today, hence why I only brought my scissors." The pliers remained on the table though and Diesel looked up to see the Trooper standing. As usual, lording over him him. It was hot. "Today we eat shrimp," he told Diesel, don't worry, I brought a second pair.

Diesel furrowed his brow. This would not do. Today is not a shrimp day. Troop kneeled down, resting one hand on his shoulder, and got down low to reassure him. "It's going to be ok," he reassured him. "Trust me, you can do this and eat warm prepared food." Diesel closed his eyes and shook his head. "No... it's not right. I don't know how!"

"It's ok baby, daddy is here. Remember how you were also afraid of riding the Sybian as well and look how that turned out." He leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss and discreetly slid his hand up the leg of his shorts. "I know this is hard for you, but I'll make it worth your while." Diesel couldn't believe it, Troop had never shown physical affection in public before. He said only stupid tourists do that. He was a public figure and was thus held to a higher standard than all those peons. Then Diesel realized why, Trooper was not wearing any Go Gamble or Sprkli apparel. He was instead wearing his AOC 2024 instead. "That's right, I'm undercover today. We can be a little extra naughty." Troop then reached into his prison wallet and removed a second set of pliers.

"C'mon Babe, let's go to the buffet and I'm going to teach you all about Shrimp and all the other sweet things Vegas has to offer. If you're going to be by my side, you better get used to the high life." They then slowly walked over to the buffet, hand in hand with El Diesel beaming. He hadn't felt this special since his Quinceanero which had been untold boxes of frosted flakes ago - he'd need to count and calculate it later, but it was surely several pallets worth at least.

I can't remember the area of town some were saying they moved to but didn't think it was anywhere near Summerlin.

Skye Canyon. Maybe a little bit close....

Holy crap, that is wayyyyy out there. 30+ minutes to center strip on a good traffic day.

Then i guess Trooper can become a reg at the Red Rock casino?

Trooper gonna be tilted due to driving/traffic with that distance to the strip, cause at the bare minimum he needs to be at the strip for TT every week.

Even Red Rock is 15 minutes + if there is no traffic on the interstate.

Sante Fe Station only 9 minutes, he could play with the old men 1/2NL over there.

I've been on the internet since AOL 95 havent laughed at anything as hard as I have with the last 4 or so episodes of Red Shoe Diaries feat RiceTroop.

"The forbidden Zone".... measuring time in single serve boxes of frosted flakes.....

I'm glad I wasn't reading that in public. I'm 1 part hysterical laugher, 1 part shock and awe, and 1 part on the verge of throwing up.

Peak comedy, excellent copywriting, many easter eggs, and callbacks in each installment.... What a masterpiece!

With a Secretariat like charge to the end of the year, RickRoll takes my vote for 2+2 Poster of the year.

Agreed. If Trooper had a sense of humor and an ounce of humility, even he would have to laugh at the prose. It's so well-done that you have to give props and respect for RickRoll's efforts.

"To pass the boxes better, El Diesel carefully monitored his appearance in the reflective wall. His beard was still untrimmed because Troop liked to run his fingers through every inch of it. Especially the cheek patches, which Tim affectionally called the forbidden zone. He also had left the part covering the neck going wild because it gave Troop a better grip to choke him mid-coitus."


I too used aol in the mid 90s.

Hahaha this is amazing .

The one where lady trooper is talking to her mother and her mother refers to her as "LT" really made me laugh

I am certainly missing some of the call backs. But the ones I catch are GOLD.

RR def poaster of the year with his insightful breakdowns of exactly how the inner minds of these poker geniuses operate

Wonder how this will turn out.

Poker club in Louisville has their grand opening, our hero Butterfly Symmetry is playing so I tune in

the entire stream these commentators aren't even giving a play by play of the hands but just talking about their favorite pizza and fastfood and needing to steal extra food and milk because they weren't little baby boys but full grown men at 250 pounds

so i just put in the comment section that 250 pounds is not a growing boy who needs extra milk but rather someone who is obese

and then from there they only talk about how fat they are or aren't for the next hour - completely ignoring the hands being streamed and just talking about that

the best part is deep down they know they are wrong and will occasionally drift into admission and agreement but then reverse course and even offer to take off their shirt and let the entire casino judge etc

imo that single comment was far better work than anyting else i've ever done, i've put in the time stamp where it picks up immediately where the obese derail begins

ElD is living that #pokerlife

I have to say as someone from the midwest who lived like an hour and a half from the Louisville casino, it is by far the softest poker games ive ever played live and every one of my poker friends agree. Its really unbelievable, its so weird but its the way it is, the circuit stop there was always so awesome, great memories going there. Problem is they only ever really have 1-2 and oddly enough a 30-60 stud game, but my god. Really if anything el diesel should be playing there like 50% of the time if hes going to find all the good poker games.

Theyd have random 2-5 or 5-5 PLO from time to time and i think now maybe get it more often? IDK because i dont live within driving distance anymore so havent been post covid.

Im sure the card club there will be A M A Z I N G

check out Butterfly Symmetry's thread and then remember he's a winning player in that field

also the announcer who I was trolling earlier said that he was a local pro there for 16 years and his commentary and analysis was terrible

i kind of feel bad but am immensely entertained by their reaction and getting them to just talk abut how they are fat but not really for an hour instead of commenting on poker

was legit getting annoyed because all they were doing was talking about food - the trolling was unintentional by my god i've listened that that hour or so like 3-4 times because it was so fun for me to hear them each time

Ive seen it and looked around it, it is cool it was from a place i used to go to fairly often, but i never knew him, pretty wild he binked the one crypto thing i remember people talking about in here.

Hammerheads bbq if youre ever in the area, used to try to go there everytime i went down there

Bally's promo is the best one for tourists. Not only is it only 15 hours, but the tourney is held twice a week. Plus, while you're building the hours you can still possibly get a high hand promo.

Is that past Summerlin along 215?

I used to go to that every year when I lived in NorCal. Fun place to play, especially when they had the STT's.

I predict many days of +/- 200.

I don't know how rickroll is massaging the ai res shoe diaries robot so masterfully. Maybe ai can be used for good after all!

I try not to think of ElD meat house buffet intake of rice and sausage as it legit would make my blood boil



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If consumed on a regular basis would turn the eaters blood to sludge

Just scanned through Mike and The Feather from a few days ago. Of course he was 4-0 on parlays but he was too sick to post a video.

He’s 0-1 to start the day. Thought the Dolphins were going to pound the Chiefs.

1-2 early. Lost the Dolphins and the Falcons. Won the Packers.