Ahhh, of course.

He's not completely wrong, though. I was adopted so my dad did raise another man's child.

Yugo,
Had I know you were adopted I would have made a totally unrelated probably WW-centric joke. Please accept my imaginary revisions.

Re: finances I suggest placing the money jointly in real big pile on bar where they sell the lambics until the bartender advises the money is all gone. /floorbeer

Hurt my shoulder squatting today. Pain during adduction/internal rotation. Bench was fine except for reracking. Overhead movements arent painful. Am I going to die? Anything I should try?

Totally joint finances. I earn about 95% of the money though, so it really isn't an issue. When we bought our sailboat, the agreement was that 1/2 of her check went directly in a to a special fund, with hopes that by 50 (currently 37) I could leave corporate america and we could set sail.

As long as that deposit takes place, I could give two ****s less what she spends the other half on. Currently that spending looks like an abundance of leggings and Lipsense. Whatever.

We pretty much spend money on whatever we want, whenever we want, in general though. Bills come first, then retirement accounts. Then who cares. We live pretty thrifty though. Older used vehicles. House is paid for (and worth a fraction of most peoples). No cable, internet/netflix only. Rather spend the money on travel and saving for future travel.

I know a couple that was very close to the OP's villains. Both cheated on each and they generally led miserable existences.

Yes

Meatball sliders, toasting the mini-buns with garlic and butter (like garlic bread). Wife made some meatballs and I made the garlic bread rolls on Saturday and they were delicious.

W - don't you need to make it rain a bit to maintain fat swinger lifestyle? Nobody wants to swing with poors (I'm sure mikhel would agree).

LOL

Not even close for us. The couple we know that are match the OP's villians both toyed/dabbled with it and almost sucked us in. In the end, poors that swing tend to be fat and ugly. Wtf wants to bed that? After a couple years of chasing unicorns, a sailboat and isolation is best.

When I was married, in the beginning we had separate accounts and even paid for our groceries separately..... literally stood behind each other in line and separated our groceries out. (Code3 and I do this now, but we aren't married and I ain't paying for pizza rolls without a ring)
We would independently pay separate bills, and after a few times of him not paying a bill I finally said **** it and made my account a joint account, got his check direct deposited and handled all of the bills. He started spending all of my money or any extra money in the account, so I then had to get a secret bank account and stash money there and lie to him about how much money I was making to be prepared when he ****ed up and overdrew the account by doing something dumb. Example of dumb: Buying a buddies golf clubs, or a boat and emptying the account when he knew bills were due. This is when I worked multiple slightly above minimum wage jobs and he was starting out at his, so we were pretty poor and almost living paycheck to paycheck.

So, ummm.....don't do this.

My recommendation would be to allocate bills based on how much each of you make . She makes 75% of the income and pays 75% of the bills. Put that money in a joint account with your budgeted fun money (eating out, hookers, massages)..whatever you do together and have the rest in your own separate accounts.

I know a lot of people who's marriage have been wrecked by finances. You might think this is a good reason to separate your accounts, but if you're married to this kind of person, you're ****ed, no matter what. My wife's sister's husband had a good job. They had separate finances, he paid the mortgage and some other bills, she paid some equivalent stuff, whatever. He decided to stop paying the mortgage. I don't know why - no one does, or if they do they aren't talking. She found out when they got evicted.

I always find separate finances to be weirdly clinical. It feels to me about the same as if I left $300 on my wife's bedside table after we were done with sex. Obviously, we have joint finances. Sometimes she'll buy me a present and sort of joke that it's weird, it's "my" money (she doesn't work). But that's not how it works, the worth of a gift is that she understands what I want and need and finds it.

The one exception to our joint finances used to be poker, I kept a separate account for that. My theory was, my gambling risks should be my own, and so should my rewards. I would usually buy her something nice if I had a big score. These days, I tend to keep about 2/3 of my extracurricular contract work to myself, again my theory being, I am taking my free time to do this, instead of watching TV or playing video games. That time doesn't come out of work time, or mowing the lawn, or taking care of the kid, or making dinner. My free time = my money. She seems OK with that. I keep that in a separate account and I pay the extra tax that it incurs out of that account. I use this account to buy machinery and bikes.

We have a joint account and individual accounts. A fixed amount goes into the individual accounts each paycheck, and then the rest goes into the joint account. Each of us does whatever we want with the individual accounts, so if one person wants to get silly and splurge on something with the money in their account its no problem. This has worked well for a long time.

We sort of do this, except it's virtual. Each of us has a fixed amount per month we can spend no questions asked. But we rarely do these days - it was a lot more common when we were younger. We kind of tend to have most of what we want these days. I spend mine on bike stuff, she spends hers of penny whistles and moon pies.

I broke my collarbone over the summer. No matter what I do it hurts like hell when I move it. Nothing anyone has suggested has ever helped. If I die, I'll let you know.

I hear that the healthy thing to do is open credit cards in your SOs name without their knowledge or consent and then run them up to the max limits. Free money, no accountability. And technically it's still shared accounts. You can always choose whether to disclose if/when you get divorced.

My bf and I do our finances jointly. I pay the bills and we will discuss larger purchases but we're pretty much on the same page in regards to saving/investing so neither of us spend money gratuitously.

Rusty,

I broke my collarbone in the 3rd grade when my class was walking back from the school library and I tripped on this drain lid that wasn't flush with the asphalt. I spent two hours crying in the classroom with my teacher telling me to toughen up lol. He finally got sick of me and sent me to the school nurse who was horrified. Anyway didn't die so I think you should be ok.

My condolences and everything, but if it makes you feel better, or even if it doesn't, if your SO is someone who is the type to **** you financially, there probably is not a lot you can do to prevent it, aside from nuclear grade prenups and lawyers from the beginning, which, lets be honest, no one does except the insanely rich.

I am hoping that most of my trouble are from the plate/screws so that if I have them removed my troubles will be over. But possibly I'll just keel over and die, so, stay tuned

Now that our last living dog has died (long live last dog) we are ready for a new one and my wife is ****ing dog crazy. She's doing the same thing she did last time which is
buying books about dogs/puppies
looking at dogs online
looking and dog breeding / dog breeders / dog geneology / dog medicine
looking at pictures of dogs / videos of dogs / audio of dogs / whatever
forwarding me Dog Facts at all times of day and night
we're probably going to buy an english lab from a litter that is coming from a breeder soon. The litter shares some geneology with our last dog, I think a grand-parent. That's pretty remarkable because our last lab lived to be 15 so both her parents and most of her siblings are long dead.

somewhat the opposite here. joint account gets the amount needed for bills, rest in individual accounts

dating for 10 years, living together for 2

looks like we're in the minority, but I wouldn't want it any other way

That sounds like the ideal arrangement to me.

Joint accounts for:
- bills
- mortgage
- groceries and other expendables (eating at non-Noma places, dranks, whatever)
- Savings for repairing/replacing household essentials (washing machine etc)
- stock market/index fund/paying down mortgage
- travelling

The rest goes to our separate accounts for reasons campfirewest listed. Wouldn't have it any other way and never had any issues with this arrangement.

So that Rusty acct system seems crazy. That MLY advice is just standard emotional reaction to whenever I see MLY giving advice to anyone on how to live a better life. Dating a girl for 10y seems pretty awesome, joint accounts seem like a big minus, but marriage seems far worse.

Busto weren't you advised to contact a lawyer and then decided that you were too much of a #SADBOY to do that? I may be remembering this wrong since it seemed kinda dismal for you and was depressing to read. But seems disingenuous to frame things in that light when you dun goofed. Weirdly there are a lot of financially lesser parties who deceive the other person and then walk away because people just "want to be done with it", which is immoral to do, but w/e.

I'm not going to lie, I lurk in the N1H thread, and reading MLYLT giving him relationship\life advice in there is definitely one of my guilty pleasures in life.

I'm convinced they are the same troll anyway, and I appreciate the level of commitment it takes to run two fantastical accounts like that.

I don't even really feel empathy anymore for either person. It is like when you go to the DMV and see a broad cross section of humanity (minus the bottom 10% in the USA#1) and kinda wonder how some of these people even live. In my efforts to be more WOKE, I'm trying to understand how the struggle is real: buying discount chicken, fretting about making fraps, ruminations on parenting by someone who barely parents, wondering how buttholes work, etc. While I obviously don't care about people in this situation, it is good for me to know that they're out there.