Hello MLYLT,
I just lurk your thread but I follow along. I experience similar mental illness problems as you.
Anyway, I saw this and thought maybe it would help you like it helped me.
Also, just my feedback... I take meds too. I've seen periods where you went off. Please stay on your meds. It can take weeks or months for the meds to successfully balance the chemical imbalance in your brain. But for that to happen, you have to stay on the meds
Good luck. I'm rooting for you.