To be honest, this is how I feel as well. I would never ever hook up with a good friend's sister. It really sucks for the brother. As a brother, you know you can't control your sisters life or be weird and tell her and your friend not to date, so you really just have to hope that your friends are cool enough not to do it. As douchey as it sounds I have given more than enough signs to my friends that my sis is off limits, though its usually in jest. Fortunately none of my friends have tried anything.

If you actually detest one of your friends hooking up with your sister, you exile the friend. It isn't complicated. He can choose one or the other. But don't be the pussy who says, "She is off limits." and not actually mean it.

Mittens,

Its meh. I think it happens more outta circumstances than anything else. Like you'll find yourself partying together a bunch or whatever... and stuff happens. Rather than like... "She's cute. Imma hit that."

You could apply the same logic to a friend who has a hot widowed mom. "Come on man, I was really vibing with your mom and I'm just giving you the heads up that I'm going to bang her...you don't own her, what kind of friend are you?"

By jest I meant the context of it being brought up. "where's your sister today?" type jokes. It is very obvious to my friends that she is off limits, though as I said fortunately I have a lot of good friends I trust and I can't see it being an issue.

yeah i don't get why you WOULDN'T want a friend dating your sister. ok so you'd rather just some random guy railing her nightly, but a person you presumably like and enjoy the company of, no!! not him!

Daryn, while its not the *exact* same, would you want one of your friends to date your mom?

hm i don't think so, but i'm not sure i really like the idea of anyone dating my mom.

It's not very different with a sister. With a younger sister, add the protection element.

meh i don't buy it.

I don't understand what you're missing. It's obvious you aren't and older brother, but maybe you'd be one of the guys who would just be cool with it. I also sense that you probably dated a friend's sister at some point.

To expand on some of my objections, it just makes the friendships weird. These are just jumbled thoughts but:

My sister is dating a guy right now for example. I don't know what they're doing and I don't really care, but bc we're not friends I dont have to see him, and I dont have to think about it or him

Random 'bro' talks about hook ups, past experiences, hook up lols, etc become awkward bc the friend is likely talking about the sister or even if he isn't, its just sort of implied that that may have been happening

Logistical awkwardness. 'we doing to a bar tonight?' 'no I have a date' aka, i'm ****ing your sister tonight

chances are they break up. the sister being a notch on the belt is weird.

You know your friend's habits and how he treats girls. You don't want your sister, or mom, to be 'one of those girls.'

the list goes on. This probably isn't super clear and could be very loltastic to someone without a sister but these are things I see. Two of my best friends went through one of these situations like 6 yrs ago and theres still awkwardness btwn them, and frankly they'll never be as good of friends as they once were. (admittedly part of that was that the relationship was secret for a bit)

definitely, but there's a lot of **** that happens when you're out partying that you should try not to do, especially if you have the premeditation to post in EDF about it. I'm not saying that hooking up with someone's sister should auto-wreck a friendship, but I do think it's one of those situations where you should sacrifice a little bit of your own happiness for the benefit of an important friendship.

FWIW, I don't have a sister. My perspective is largely based on friends' sisters / my interactions with them.

right me either... the point is so obvious you only had to write a 2,000 word essay defending it...

I am curious, what part don't you buy?

i just don't buy the mom/sister parallel. your mom is your mom.. the woman you exited, who raised you, etc. your sister is just like a brother with no penis.

Would you be confortable with your sister dating your boss ?

Would you feel the same way, if one of your female friend would date your little brother ?

I know image macros are verboten in EDF, but I would love to follow the French entry into this conversation with lescouinsdangeroux.jpg

I agree with Daryn, and it's always been my argument when giving my friends **** about their sisters.

Would you rather have me munching that rug, or some random jerkoff from college?

yeah from the way you sound i'm sure you are much better than some random jerkoff

Context is an issue here, as two of the partners i work for are husband and wife and in their 50's, but regardless the answer would be **** no.

I do not have a brother, but this is where the whole thing won't make sense to people w/o sisters because I would absolutely be encouraging my brother to get as much ass as possible. I'd be his wingman, etc. Sexist? Yes I'm sure.

I'd be very interested to hear the response from someone else with a younger sister itt. I know I'm hardly alone in my stance ldo, but would be curious if there was someone who wouldnt care/would encourage his friends to date his sister.

Ive joked about hooking up with my mates sisters, its usually responded to with a half joking 'do and die'.

In theory guys should be happy with their friends (who you would imagine they would percieve as > your average guy) going out with their sister, but in reality I think most (especially older) brothers have a no go zone for their friends.

Though to be honest, i think its more because so many guys joke about hooking up with their mates sisters. I imagine if I instead took a serious tone and said I legitimately like her, she feels the same, is it cool with you, you would have to assume they would be fine with it, or at least say they are.

I met girl on international flight. She approached me asking if I would like to come sit with her and her friend. Some flirting/touching on flight, she insists on giving me her # saying she should show me the city as I am just passing through. So I text her next day and she says she is out of town but gives me advice on what to do/where to go. Over next two days lots of texts/calls between us...

Anyways, last night she calls says she is going to try and make it to the city and if I want to go out with her and 2 other guys/2 girls for drinks. I say sure. Later on that night she calls says she is 30min out and going to be at X. I say ok. I take off to X a little before as it was half time of the USA game. I am in cab when she calls and says she can’t make it, yada yada.

So my question is what to do with this girl? I may be living in this city permanently and it would be nice to have some friends/contacts + she is pretty good looking and seemed really interested.... I really hate getting stood up though and this girl seems to be flakey. I really don't understand as she was the one perusing this. Thoughts.

Plateau, that sounds a little weird, like a tarp.

You haven't seen her since the flight, correct?

I'd probably just give up at this point, maybe one more attempt down the road if she felt legit, but sounds a little weird to me.

I have a little sister - 3.5 years younger. There are certain friends of mine that I would consider to be genuinely good people, have a lot going for them in life, work hard, treat women well etc.. I would be absolutely cool, and would probably even think my sister would be lucky to date one of them.

I have other friends that I would absolutely not be. They cheat every chance they get, are perhaps a bit misogynistic, don't take their relationships seriously, and have been known to leave a lot of girls in tears. These friends are great fun to party with, and awesome as "one of the guys," but they better be staying the hell away from my sister.

seems totally reasonable.

plateau

when are you leaving? If it's within this week, just text her something concise like 'hey i'm going to do xxx, don't be a bore, come out and see me"