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Last

11-25-2014 , 12:09 PM

#651

luckduck53

The Situation

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 5,147

Sorry, not sorry. Thought it was pretty much in line with other anti jokes and I laughed when I heard it so I shared.

Quote

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11-25-2014 , 02:35 PM

#652

raheem

temp-banned

Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 2,235

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckduck53

Sorry, not sorry. Thought it was pretty much in line with other anti jokes and I laughed when I heard it so I shared.

Apparently you can make anti-jokes about ebola but I can't make anti-jokes about bowel cancer.

Anyway, here's a random joke:

What's a really annoying thing that could happen in a bathroom?

You run out of toilet paper!

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11-25-2014 , 02:45 PM

#653

Videopro

Making TV

Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 19,820

When the punchline is something expected/normal, it is not a joke.

Quote:

Immanuel Kant, in Critique of Judgement (1790) states that "Laughter is an effect that arises if a tense expectation is transformed into nothing." Here is Kant's two-century old joke and his analysis:
An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement. - Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman. - Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but how you managed to get it all in. - This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

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11-25-2014 , 03:10 PM

#654

raheem

temp-banned

Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 2,235

Quote:

Originally Posted by Professionalpoker

When the punchline is something expected/normal, it is not a joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humor

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11-25-2014 , 03:30 PM

#655

raheem

temp-banned

Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 2,235

But okay, here's a straight-up joke, as in the punchline will be surprising!

What is the most annoying thing that could happen in a bathroom?

George Michael comes in and starts giving you a blowjob.

Quote

11-25-2014 , 03:38 PM

#656

luckduck53

The Situation

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 5,147

I mean humour is pretty subjective stuff. For instance I didn't think it was funny when my dad said he wishes he used a condom but my mom found it hysterical.

Quote

11-26-2014 , 06:26 AM

#657

ReidLockhart

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 7,770

Quote:

Originally Posted by raheem

But okay, here's a straight-up joke, as in the punchline will be surprising!

What is the most annoying thing that could happen in a bathroom?

George Michael comes in and starts giving you a blowjob.

But if you're gay, maybe it would be a dream come true?

Quote

11-26-2014 , 08:47 AM

#658

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 35,312

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReidLockhart

But if you're gay, maybe it would be a dream come true?

but if your aim was to pee, it's hard to do that while... well you know... hard. So that's annoying I guess.

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11-26-2014 , 06:15 PM

#659

El P

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,713

how many guys do you know that would turn down a bj cos they need to pee?

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11-26-2014 , 07:13 PM

#660

FWWM

FOOT FF Fristion '15

Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 13,172

Not sure what your point is, if you need to pee, you need to pee, no use in getting a bj then...

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11-27-2014 , 01:13 PM

#661

Czech Rays

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,645

How do you work out your mum´s porn name?

Spoiler:

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12-03-2014 , 12:18 AM

#662

bushwack

enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 68

I love a terrible joke so heres a few for you lot, havent looked through the thread so apologies if any are reposts.

I went for a circumcision at this over priced clinic the other day.

It was a bloody rip off.

What did the paranoid German vegetarian say?

"I fear the wurst."

What do ISIS and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

They both have curds in their whey.

Did you hear about the guy who invented knock-knock joke?

He won the "no bell" prize

I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day.

I met a crab in a pub yesterday, he came across very well.

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12-03-2014 , 03:12 AM

#663

Anais

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 6,663

2nd to last made me laugh

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12-03-2014 , 12:14 PM

#664

Phat Mack

Twat-Waffle

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 13,448

They all made me laugh, although I was deeply ashamed for doing so.

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12-11-2014 , 01:16 AM

#665

Canceler

grinder

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 494

You can confidently say to just about anyone that you know they have holes in their underwear.

Spoiler:

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12-11-2014 , 01:19 AM

#666

CCuster_911

You Only Live Once

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 24,435

Jokes on you I wear diapers that latch on the side.

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12-11-2014 , 02:47 AM

#667

Hero Value

BBV Series Inaugural Champ

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 9,258

Still doesn't explain how you have it around your legs though? Even if it's an all in one trousers and diaper.

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12-11-2014 , 03:31 AM

#668

Sciolist

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 17,528

Joke's on you, he doesn't have legs

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12-11-2014 , 10:11 AM

#669

CCuster_911

You Only Live Once

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 24,435

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hero Value

Still doesn't explain how you have it around your legs though? Even if it's an all in one trousers and diaper.

Because my "underwear" doesn't have holes in them. I shape them into holes. But as a standalone object there are no holes.

You can't say something like 'your scarf has holes in it' and then simply shape it into a donut. Or everything has holes in it basically because some machine can probably shape it so.

Having to explain this really kills any humor I was going for

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12-11-2014 , 06:23 PM

#670

Hero Value

BBV Series Inaugural Champ

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 9,258

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

Lol. I was basically joking around as well, but fair enough. More detailed/eloquent answer than I was expecting after your original comment.

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12-11-2014 , 06:25 PM

#671

CCuster_911

You Only Live Once

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 24,435

Ya I was 50/50 on whether you were joking or not

Carry on

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12-13-2014 , 06:28 AM

#672

Morphismus

BBV Poker Player of 2022

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 25,424

A man comes home late at night totally drunk. His wife was waiting for him and confronts him on his drinking. Her rant impresses him and he promises to change: "I want to become a new man!"

The next day he comes home drunk again. As his wife asks about his plan to become a new man he says: "How could I know the other one also drinks?"