writing on her wall is fine but you should tell her of a party rather than asking like a bitch

Just bombard her with farmville requests

Just watched 500 days of summer. I can relate so much, very similar to my relationship w my ex.

yeah i feel like the ending (except for the whole train->wedding **** that was nuts) was written from my life

im pretty sure 90% of the guys on here will agree... that's why the movie did so well :-P

the closing scene where he meets his ex in the park and they have that talk - i think the similar experience i had was near verbatim with that dialogue. chicks gonna chick.

Crazy how quick college towns die down right after finals/graduation. Could be a quiet summer in regards to fly honeyz...workin on it though.

Sounds like 500 days of summer is actually pretty good may have to watch it soon, I always thought it looked like the typical chick flick

I've never seen that movie. It sure gets propped up a lot in this thread. I guess that sort of begs the question...is it as good as Good Will Hunting?

well this thread is slow so why not throw in some relationship stuff. (Paging poonis for advice from a female)
might be tl;dr, but hopefully not cause i have two midterms tomorrow and need to study at some point.

So, me and K are doing great. Having lots of fun, doing a lot together, spending lots of time together, and having sex a lot.

I really really like her and the relationship is really great. Today for the first time we had awkward talks and stuff sorta.

Basically to get right into it. I have two finals tomorrow and need to study, I know it, she knows it. Quite a lot of the time we're busy and we/she says something along the lines of no fooling around tonight etc. Usually this happens, and I still just goof around, feel around and we end up having sex.

I don't know why I do this all the time, even when I know she either a) may not be feeling it, or b) we shouldn't due to time factors. But I still do, cause I'm a horny b*tch.

Now, today since my exams/we both were worn out and tired etc. and her legs were sore from yesterday(sex) again it came up that we weren't gonna do anything tonight. I felt around after a while, pretty much randomly, basically going as normal but before anything happens at all she decides to not.
Its cool, we go back to watching movies etc, but eventually she tells me she feels bad.
After a lot of prying and stuff she tells me that she feels bad cause she doesn't want to not make me happy etc etc. Eventually it gets into how she thinks(ish) that I just like her for the sex and that type of thing. She feels even worse after we talk about this and says her thinking is so irrational and stuff and there's no reason for her to be thinking that.

We talked for a while and I had to go to study(gotta do that still), she said she felt better but obviously this is going to stick in the back of my mind.

Now, the thing is, I often felt like I was leading so much and so often that probably stuff was happening a lot more than she wanted, or something and it may not be great.

The really odd, or, important piece to this puzzle is, is that basically my last relationship(of almost 2 years) had points like this as well.

Is this standard, or am I just a horny ****er that needs to learn to control himself?

My last relationship was much more immature in general than mine with K. That one was even these awkward convo's about just fooling around. Basically revolving the relationships around orgasms.
Maybe I'm the problem?

What do I do? I feel like there could be a lot of factors(about me personally that could cause this) but I guess I won't go more in depth now.

I feel like I should just control myself better, but then I feel like she will notice and she said that's not want she wants either(I know she could just be saying that), basically I just don't want this to turn into a problem.

Let me know what you guys think, I can give more detail if you want but you guys should have the general idea I think.

we do most of the changing and we don't really have routines so that's not an issue.

this hole issue may really be nothing, but it just bothers me that its mimicking my last relationship in a sense.

i agree about most of your first paragraph though GG, and that may be the only thing to it and just her being insecure or something makes her think about it. I really don't know

My ex lead on that she felt the same way your girl does, that I only want her for sex. In reality I don't understand it at all because this was someone I spent way too much time with and obviously the majority of that was not spent having sex. What may have been at issue (and just disguised as "All you want is sex") is that perhaps she wanted more from me emotionally, but she certainly never expressed that view during our relationship.

Also, the girl I dated before her also claims we spent way too much time having sex, but that was essentially the basis of our relationship and all we did was have sex or do social stuff leading up to it. It was obvious from the beginning that the relationship wouldn't work out long-term and we both knew what we were getting into though.

As far as giving advice, the best thing for your relationship may be to tone down how often you try to have sex (if that's what she really means when she talks) and express how your feelings about her more often, preferably stuff other than "wow your ass looks great."


edit: As gay as it sounds I would sit down and hash it out with her if this is someone you want to be with long term. You're still going to want to keep having as sex as often as possible, this issue won't go away on it's own.

standard crazy chick imo

yeah cq, I agree a lot with you there.
It probably has a lot to do about me expressing myself emotionally as well. I've always had trouble with it

i posted this above but deleting and re posting since i added so much to it after ppl responded.

you're young. you should be having sex almost every time you see each other. imo girls are just wired a little different. we can go from 0 to 60 in 1second. they need a little more. so i'd just do more foreplay and not in the traditional sense. i mean more building it up. sex to them in a relationship is an event. sex to us in a relationship is like jacking off without the hand. so plant the seed earlier in the day/night by grabbing her ass while out or whatever.

keep doing new positions, locations, speeds, music etc and most importantly keep your approach different. if you want sex one night and she's staying over and usually it goes brush teeth, watch a movie, then you start it or whatever your routine may be just change it. an example would be while she's brushing her teeth come up behind her and start it (wait till she's done brushing to start kissing obv)

but no matter how much you do after enough time it just becomes boring and you'll both start to think about the grass is greener on the other side and that's why relationships when you're young are dumb unless you're realistic about how this will end and treat it as fun dating that will end sooner or later unless you never have even the slightest of bumps in the road like this one. but what's the fun in being logical and realistic. feeling emotions of "love" and whatever else is just as addicting as any other pleasure.

dont relate to this film at all but i really really loved it...coming from a guy who usually gets bored with these types of movies

btw...my date tonight was massive success, even though wings losing was a massive fail

will post more tomorrow

I love how everyone is doing the "Karak" nowadays.

even the random is calling out these bull **** teasers...stop ****ing doing them, you are only hurting yourself...unless you went to a donkey show, did cocaine, met tupac, than ****ed jessica alba, dont tease your tr.

Even if you did all of that, how would the teaser possibly add anything?

By the way kvh, are you KirkVanHouten of past loserdom in EDF?

not saying it adds to story just saying you earned the right to do it.

Well okay, obviously we're on the same side, but that's just the thing with teasers. There's nothing but downside and zero upside. Killa for SL mod, I bet he would agree and just start zapping anyone who did that.

The only time I could see doing it legitimately is a situation like, "Guys, I'm typing something up right now and I need to act quickly on this situation, so keep your eyes on the thread."

Thats not a teaser, thats just telling someone to be ready

Meh, it's both IMO. But in any case, **** this teaser trend. It's the most pathetic thing this forum has seen since OsTornado made a gimmick account so he could talk to mehmeh anonymously.

Lol I fell asleep in the middle of toph's tr and then had met him and he told me the tr in person. Was an A+ storyteller in real life too.

Toph, this is sorta standard. Girls are hardwires to think that guys only like them for sex, just as guys are hardwired to overperceive women's sexual interest. Already 2 guys said they had the same thing. I'm the 3rd, except mine was worse. I got "I feel like you only like me for sex AND we should have less of it." The worst part was that I kinda did only like her for sex and the relationship was downhill from there.

Your situation is different and better cause you actually like K and cause she didn't say anything about less sex. You should make some changes even though she said she doesn't want you to. Do it subtly of course.

1. Least important, but spice it up like GG says
2. Because you actually like her, show her that she is important to you for all those other reasons. Whether she wants to see it or hear it, show her. Maybe it's when you're cuddling and watching w movie, whisper something nice about her in her ear. Maybe when she wants something and you want something else, let her win and tell her it's cause you value her or whatever.

However, I only say this cause K sounds genuine and not cynty. If she starts taking advantage then don't become whipped. It doesn't sound like that is at all close to the current situ though.

The way she had presented this is probly not totally straightforward. Try to get w better read. "I sometimes think you only like me for sex" could mean she just wants you to show her that you really care about her as a person, but it might be a less awkward way of saying I'd like of have less sex.

I hope Henry and/or Mittens are giving some input on this.
I am holding back for now.

Toph,

No psychologically stable, mature woman is ever concerned with having too much sex in a relationship. There are a couple of things that could be going on here, especially given that you guys are so young (she's 19, right? no way she's really figured out her sexuality at all)

1) She's not into the sex as much as she should be. Because:
a) You're not doing exactly what she likes (not necessarily from an orgasm standpoint). It could be that you're not doing enough foreplay or the type she likes, or she doesn't even know what sort of sex she likes best. If you guys haven't already you should have a frank talk about what things you both like during sex and what things you'd like to explore. Again the point isn't about what gets you to finish, but what she finds fulfilling. Obviously (and this goes for everyone at every age, all the time, ever, single best piece of girl advice) never say no to anything she asks to try and always be overly supportive and enthusiastic about everything sex related.
b) she has issues with insecurity (and maybe other stuff). The comment about "that's all you like me for" leads me to believe this is at least part of it. If she views sex as something transactional to get you to like her then that's what she's going to be thinking about when you do it and that's no bueno. The answer isn't to logically convince her that's not true (as tempting as it is), nor is it to have less sex. Just make sure you show affection in ways other than sex.

2) she's immature. Nothing really to do about this in the short term, but it's entirely likely she hasn't figured out where sex slots into her life and so she's coming up with weird connections between sex and affection. Again the answer here is to grow up sexually with her. Being the guy who gets a girl to really appreciate a healthy sex life is one of the most fulfilling roles a guy can play in someone's life and from some of your posts it looks like you've got some exploring to do yourself (no shame, you're young). The more comfortable she is having sex and talking about sex, the more comfortable she'll be when thinking about her sex life as something healthy.

or

3) she's losing attraction to you