guys i texted her 4 minutes ago and she still hasnt texted back. she hates me obv right?
















im kidding

Quick, follow up with "I love you" before you lose her forever.

maybe this is a classic TUTS re-TUTS

lol i love how we have the TUTS system now

You read that line SO much differently than I do. She already had the opportunity to be with me alone. She didn't totally pass, but she couldn't have been blind to the fact that she could have still suggested the night and chose not to. She wanted to use that night to go out with others instead. That's fine, that's her prerogative, but it's a pretty overt sign of disinterest on a more-than-friend level.

#1 is already in effect. Like I said, with regards to the bar on Friday, it sounds like she'll be there, and that honestly won't affect my decision on whether or not to go. In general, the flaw of #1 helping me out at all is that I'm a ridiculous procrastinator (I'm procrastinating as I type this), and if a friend of either gender offers me any reasonably fun diversion as an alternative to studying, I almost always take them up on it. Basically, to turn down any noticeable amount of plans, I'd have to say no to things that I actually want to go do.

because he clearly was the first to come up with the push and pull method

Hopefully she texts you about meeting Friday night at the bar. If you decide to go (I think your plan is right on) then see if she continues to follow you when you move about the bar. If the pattern is the same as before wait until later in the evening when hopefully she has drank enough to loosen up and throw this at her:

LKJ: Do you do NY resolutions?
Her: (we don't care what she says)
LKJ: I don't really believe in resolutions but this year I have decided I am going to be more open to having a relationship. Kinda been ignoring this aspect of life since the start of school.


You'll get some important feedback here. Unless she says "what about me" end it with "keep your eyes open for someone you'd think would be a good match".

This has to be done with a smile, charm and feel very light.

With all due respect this is really bad and corny. It's way too overt and you should be speaking with your actions and not words. It also smells of desperation with the "open to a relationship" line. I really, really don't like this.

I agree with this.

And honestly, even if the line is a good one...I don't think I could pull it off effectively. I think it would come out so awkward.

yeah lol i cant even imagine how unreal awk that would be

CCuster must have gotten to me because i didnt respond with "this is awful"

that or i just like onetax

I noticed.

I think it's probably more of the latter, especially since onetax has been so spot on otherwise.

Plus you might share my old school mentality for respecting our elders.

Some variation of this would work better in YeotaJMU's spot with his f-buddy/SO.

even then i gag

esp knowing the two of them IRL

lol. I'm assuming anyone that wants to transition an otherwise undefined f-buddy relationship to a serious relationship has a level of comfort with the girl where he could make some sort of corny joke like that just to break the ice for an otherwise serious conversation.

But if you know him, that could be different. I know I could pull something like that off, though, in certain relationships. And in others, especially early on, as in LKJ's, it just doesn't work.

Knew you guys would hate it. Hahahaha

Not a line of action I would normally recommend but this is a unique situation. Maybe I am misreading this but I think you will have to be more verbal with this girl.

Ideally she'll come to you and then you can leave her hanging for the break.

it wouldnt sink yeota... he's got this girl wrapped around his finger even if he doesnt realize it.

it would just make me gag

in LKJ's situation it's a kiss of death.

here's a line i recommended to yeota last night while we were talking about the situation:

when they get back from break, set up a more formal date with her. she even commented to him recently "you know ive never been on a like official date" lolol thinly veiled hints

just arrange to go to a nice restaurant, pick her up, pay, etc. her behavior/reaction should tell him everything he needs to know. this will easily start the ball rolling towards a relationship. if she doesnt want a relationship, she'll run, but i doubt it here. EZPZ. this is how you speak with actions not words.

Exchange from last week, after she brought up how being drunk makes people act.
Me: "I definitely lose my filter and say way more truth that I would usually hold in if I was sober."
Her: "Ohh, I'm going to have to keep that in mind."

I was deliberately foreshadowing, albeit without any definite future plan. But I was leaving myself open to being on the slightly more verbally overt side in the future when alcohol is involved, and leaving her unable to write it off under, "Oh, he didn't mean it, he was drunk."

No idea what I'd actually say, it's nothing I would plan ahead and it would pretty much just have to come up in the moment.

whatever. you're thinking too much about it man. i think that's why it has shaped your behavior so much. try to have 2-3 situations going at all times to keep you from getting too locked into one, even if you are just creating them in your mind. you cant get obsessive or inundated with one or you will never be able to act appropritely.

While your criticisms are on point, you're unfortunately not going to be able to reshape my fundamental flaw of being an overthinker simply by calling me out on it.

which is why i suggested to have 2-3 situations going on at all times to prevent overthinking

For most of the semester I did, honestly. Sometime in the past month, that stopped being the case. Can't really pick another one out of thin air in the middle of finals. But your strategy is generally correct and I usually do follow it.

Karak-- Your exchange was standard TAG/good play. I have to assume that will be successful

YeotaJMU-- You could do something like what onetax said but in LKJ's sopt it would be terribad.

LKJ-- Less think, more do my brother. I like where you're going with this but turn down the analysis.

What I said to Karak.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but being overly analytical is at my core. It's not just things like this, I'll analyze miniscule moments in movies and attribute thoughts to the director that probably never even occurred to him. It's not ideal (though it should work well in my legal career), but it's probably not going anywhere.

The amusing thing to me is that Onetax says he's a long-time lurker, and it would seem that it took seeing my hopelessness to compel him to finally make an account to try to whip me into shape.