Karak,

Wait a sec: "in fact, she was trying to make plans with me this week immediately after."

So she wants a casual relationship and to have some fun. You like hanging out w/ her and think there's zero possibility of a long-term relationship.

So why was the convo a problem? Isn't a short-term casual relationship w/ her the ideal situation for you? Didn't she just solve your main problem re: wanting to hang out w/ her, but not wanting a deep or long-term commitment/relationship?

i think you need to reread my trip report, diablo

you're airballing the point of all this here.

also, do you realize that my initial feelings about BG and i (want to have casual fun nothing committed) very clearly changed?

tbh i came here to vent and post and get advice on how to proceed into the future not to debate and defend my past actions. so im really not going to continue this very further.

also, the reactions of my IRL friends who spent a ton of time around BG and me and at all these events should also prove dispositive of how she and I were acting and interacting.

if you cant believe that because i possibly could have "made it up" well then **** just stop reading my posts

Karak,

"how does this have any even REMOTE relevance to the situation at hand? are you worried about BG's honor?"

Huh? No, I just didn't understand all the super hatred of her. Sounded like it was a simple "whoa whoa whoa dude, I'm not into you like THAT, I though we were just having some fun!" thing that was quite possibly more reasonable (even tho it could def still be super crazy/weird) of a reaction from her than one might think just hearing your side/perception of the story/interactions.

Karak, it's worth noting that the public opinion about what happened here has been overwhelmingly in your favor, including from me. You shouldn't get this bent about it when just a couple of people question you.

this honestly couldnt be further from how it went down. (what you said it COULD be)

and even if it COUDL be that... i clearly perceived it differently

would you like me to ask BG to please come on here and tell her side of the story or something? lol i dont understand what purpose that post could possibly serve other than... taking a shot at me and saying i exaggerated/fabricate/deceive with my stories.

see: disclaimer in my OP. not saying it makes any reaciton reasonable, but at least i gave a warning. im still obv not ok with everything and on a bit of emotional tilt.

Karak,

Obviously you got more into her. And I have no reason to disbelieve the reactions from your friends or any other big picture things here.

However, it seems like through it all, you've been completely consistent re: one thing - that you see zero chance of a long-term relationship with this girl.

If that has changed, I take back a bunch of what I wrote. But I never read anything making me think you had even considered changing that.

IF MY IMPRESSION OF THAT IS TRUE, then her wanting to keep hanging out w/ you but not have a super serious relationship just seems like an overall positive thing.

Of course you're annoyed at her. But if the end result of this is that you can now hang out w/ her casually and have a fun time w/ her for as long as you want to do that, it seems like you're letting your ego get in the way of just having a good time.

do you honestly think, judging off my posts, perceived emotions and reaction to all this, im capable of just flipping a switch and "hanging out and having a good time with her" without any getting hurt it any way or digging myself in deeper? really?

Awww, you gonna protect the feelings of your boyfriend from people who question him?


Karak, in nearly every forum, on nearly every subject you post on you come across like as being enormously self-centered. Think about this **** from the girl's perspective and not from the perspective of people taking "shots" at you.

Nobody is accusing you of lying, so slow down the temper tantrum. You are allegedly a 24 year old adult male of reasonable education and intelligence, act like it instead of a spoiled little girl.

Also, that's not what dispositive means.

well that's that. reminded, again, why i dont post here. peace.

Karak: "lol i dont understand what purpose that post could possibly serve other than... taking a shot at me and saying i exaggerated/fabricate/deceive with my stories." If you've ever talked to two people who are having relationship problems, you know that their recounting of things can sound like two completely different worlds even if neither is trying to exaggerate/fabricate/deceive. That's all.

Fly: "Early to mid-20s girls definitely wander around in a confused haze of random emotions." Generally agreed. "they don't discuss how to seduce men who might not be interested in them." Completely disagree. I've been dating mid-20s girls for over 10 years now, and they definitely talk and strategize a lot about how to get certain guys to like them. Girls are more wily than you give them credit for!

What the ****? I was calling him out for the fact that it's ridiculous that he flips out at the first sign of dissent. "You shouldn't get this bent" = "you're overreacting." And this is not even close to the first time I've called him out on stuff like this.

It was very, very strange of you to come after me here.

i was really curious how someone would use this situation to insult me

i honestly didnt think it was possible

yes, this all makes me a self-centered prick fly. you nailed it. could you share with us on what other forums and/or in what context i act like this? do you know what other forums i post in?

fly is just butthurt over something in the law school thread i think (tbh cant even remember what it is) so he takes any opportunity to come after me and you got caught in the crossfire

Karak,

"do you honestly think, judging off my posts, perceived emotions and reaction to all this, im capable of just flipping a switch and "hanging out and having a good time with her" without any getting hurt it any way or digging myself in deeper? really?"

OK, then wtf is the problem/issue here? If the following two things are true:

1: You see no potential for a long-term relationship w/ this girl
2: You are incapable of having a casual, fun relationship with her

Then what's to talk about? The only real option is to stop seeing her. And she pretty much took care of the tough part of making that happen. She just saved you a bunch of time and possible awkward/painful/frustrating breakup limbo and handed you a clean break on a silver platter. Take advantage of that and move on.

nvm

ok i read it

do you honestly think 1 is true? at least from my perspective right now? do you think i'd be reacting this way if 1 and 2 were both true? do you think im that unhinged?

does my emotional reaction to yesterday give you any hint at all to the answer to these questions? do you think typing out logical arguments is going to completely reverse my emotions and what i clearly feel?

sorry if my posts are unreasonable right now, but as i posted out in my TR im obv tilting pretty bad right now (lol both in poker and in life) and as per the usual i wont respond well to criticism at this time (again, i pat myself on the back [SO SELF-CENTERED] for being self-aware of this in my TR :-P)

I've bolded the part that makes you self-centered here. You're like a woman with this ****.

Also, I'm not butthurt about anything in the law school thread, I'm going off your posting in SE, law school thread where you are 100% tremendously impressed with how unique of an experience 1L year is(which is fairly standard but still kinda annoying), and in this thread where you've pulled this same "I WILL NOT POST HERE IF PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE MEAN TO ME!!!!" act like 16 times. It's tiresome.

Sometimes I wonder if this is an elaborate level. Maybe Karak is the 19 year old girl and BG is the 24 year old law student.

El D

Go re-read Karak's TR about how BG acts towards him. The constant hanging out and attention and bf-gf stuff they have been doing are the classic case of the infatuation stage of a relationship. Then BG sits down and begins what seems like a standard line for the talk of exclusivity, but instead says hey Karak, you mean nothing to me.


From all objective observers points of view, this was the last thing in the world Karak should have expected. Girls in general do not go into the whole constant needy attention and lovey-dovey crap in order to tell a guy he means nothing. 99.9% of the time it is because they are falling for him.

I think I may just be selecting against wiles in my female social group, you're more into the like urban club going cool kids scene. My female friends tend to be degenerate alcoholics, nerds, or sorostitutes. I've been privy to many conversations amongst them about boys, and they generally start with the assumption that guy X will sleep with them and then they bitch and whine and hate on any other girl X is seen talking with if that isn't true.

Noted, I guess? Although I see that he disputes it now in a reply post. I dunno what the deal is between the two of you, just seems like if he wanted to swipe at me, and imply that I'm a Karak fanboy, that he'd at least wait for a post where I sided with you rather than one where I was lecturing you for the exact things that he lectures you about.

Oh well. Just confusing, that's all.