it took my way longer than it should have to figure out what this sentence meant

also agree with everyone saying that you are already dating. calling it something else doesnt really change anything

omg. i'm going to send money to yeti for that.

yeah i gotta admit i sat tehre loling for like 15 mins this morning after reading that

so gf is visiting since last night. we were cuddling/kissing on the couch and it was imo a perfect opportunity to say ILY, it went through my mind and i kept seeing this thread and i kept thinking SAY IT JUST ****ING SAY IT YOU PUSSY but i didnt.

im probably making more of a deal of it than i should but i havent done it before and its important to me.

my vote still is to let her say it first

My vote is that it doesn't really matter. Its only one word.

You still didn't say whether or not you actually love her. Do you?

I don't think your hesitance is weird. I get it. And I also don't think that waiting a little longer will really harm you.

Quick, unimportant update on E.

I talked a little with E in class the other day and found out she lives like 10 minutes from me (which is fantastic actually). Given we live in a big city it's kind of like an instant "oh that's cool you're from around me" kind of thing.

Our final is next Friday and it seemed way easier to just take the line of getting together before the final rather than asking her to hang out next weekend. I guess this just seems more logical in my head since I wouldn't say we have enough of a rapport at this point where I'd really like to just ask her out cold. The final thing should be a free ticket to getting her 1 on 1.

so many bottle whores at the party i was at last night. my group was one of the few who had beer and a bottle. had so many girls come up to me trying to flirt just to get it. some were pretty ****ing cute. wish i could have looked past it and used it to my advantage to try to hookup with them but i couldn't. i ended up walking away from a group of the 5 most attractive girls there cuz it tilted me so much. part of me feels like a vagine and part of me is just like **** it

as far as TR goes we left there at like 2ish cuz hella people were fighting or about to fight. there was a lot of grimey people. it was in a huge house almost mansion status and i saw people reaching through this locked gate thing to steal bottles of wine and ****. went to an after party where we ponged and stuff. pretty sure everyone blacked out, i know i did forsure. not really sure what happened but i was home when the sun was up. i think i made out with a girl who had a bf who may or may not have been there but i know i didn't do anything more than that forsure so vintage is right about my slaying vagina capabilities

1k post hollerrr

well it appears as though things with FW are officially dead and buried (for now obv, we are still getting married imo) i will TR it in a bit once im drunker but i am legitimately speechless and at a complete loss. also, am about 100x sadder than i was when i broke up with 4 yr gf.

maybe start off with lower expectations next time.

absolutely not. its love.

After you said that your previous comments were tongue in cheek, I have no idea how much you're kidding with words like this.

In any case, I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you.

ok just t piss of karak as hes ayankees fan, my friend was in NYC and was at a bar and Arod was in there and eh got a picture...so cuk son thtat **** imo

also I need to ship the SCOOP and FTOps me tomorow imho....

When you say smoke are you talking weed or cigarettes?

Either way, it might be a problem in your marriage if you smoke and she's super turned off by it.

hahaha cigars. im a kentucky boy its just one of those things. been like 2 years or so without weed and ive had 1 cigarette in my entire life as theyre the grossest things ever invented.

yeah i thought about that at first but then i remembered that quote where all successful relationships are based on the ability to keep secrets. or something like that lol.

edit 2 other maybe important details:
1. ive mentioned it before but FW is about a half inch taller than me.. so i GUESS theres always the possibility that she just thought we were becoming good friends and assumed i dont hit on girls taller than me so it was just an error in communications? but still, before tuesday i wouldve bet all the money in the world she was attracted, and as of right now id bet all the money in the world that shes not. idk. im LITERALLY clueless as to what changed btwn tuesday and wednesday

2. also when i broke up with 4yrGF in july i defriended her on FB cuz obv dont wanna see what all guys are hitting on her every day, she has requested me a few times since then and i usually just auto-reject. for some idiot reason she requested me on tuesday and i actually looked at her profile and shes been dating a kid for a few months which pissed me off a bit before i went over to FW's place. and i guess i mightve been acting weird or something? idk. from an objective standpoint i def wasnt but girls are tricky creatures like that with regards to noticing small details and getting reads on ppl imo. so maybe that?

That girl is hot.

I don't know why you would smoke (regardless of being drunk) if you knew she hated it and you were going to see her soon after.

Also, I was under the impression that a 'Kentucky boy' would chew not smoke cigars.

1. haha she has definitely gotten hotter since 10th grade. unfortunately she still dates exclusively black guys.

edit: woops im too kadrank right now.. she was from11th grade.

2. i have approximately 0 self control. cigars dont even have nicotine so its not an addiction thing haha, i just enjoy sittingo n the balcony with a cigar and vodka.

2. nah i duno ANY one from back home that chews, but cigars are pretty much universal there.

If you are awake, don't go to bed... there is a full, detailed and fleshed-out, no-holds-barred Karak TR coming in about 20 minutes or so. I'm not kidding. This is really happening. This TR will deliver. I assure you.

IM KAWAKE AND KADRUNK

and losing at sngs

and gogogogogogo

This is a full TR of the events surrounding tonight and my situation with BG. Nothing is exaggerated, over-dramatized or made up. This is all true, real and entirely how everything went down.

But I thought you weren't posting TRs anymore Karak? I'm not, but this one, in my opinion, is so epic that it is deserved of a TR and you guys deserve to read it.

So this evening I am attending a local AA baseball game with a bunch of law kids and BG. BG asked me to come pick her up, and I did. This correlates nicely with our date the other night, and I have hopes that things will solidify themselves with BG and me as we continue through the evening... and they did.

I pick BG up and we have a long, in-depth conversation about her parents and friends and we are singing songs in the car, having fun, smiling... lots of flirting and touching. Good start. This girl and I just cannot help but have a blast when we are together.

She makes this joke in the car: "You know... if we keep showing up like this to all your law events, they are gunna start thinking of us as boyfriend and girlfriend."
Me, grinning: "they just might."
Her: "but of course it's all pretend (said in a sarcastic tone)... hahahaha." and she winks and grins at me and I flash her a smile back.

We get there and tailgate and enjoy our time with everyone. She is very close and always touching me. As we go into the stadium, she grabs my hand and we are pretty much hand in hand walking to our seats and flirting. The entire game we are really close and she is constantly rubbing up against me. Eventually I just put my arm around her and she snuggles up with me. At one point I leave to get a beer, and I come back with a bunch of snacks and drinks for her as well. She swoons and tells me how sweet I am and how nice that was of me.

"[Karak]... you always do such nice things for me and always spend money on me... why? do you like me or something?" She grins.
I smile back, "Nah I just feel sorry for you sometimes. Haha. Of course I do."
She smiles and says, "I know."

The entire game continues like this. Later on in the evening, my friends would comment on her calling her my "other half" and saying "wow, you guys sure looked like you are getting pretty serious tonight at the game." It's heading towards R-word time!

She hints we should leave early, and the two of us take off (the game is out of hand). I ask her if she wants to go home (her parents asked her to be home by a certain time LOL) and she said she doesn't care what her parents said, she wants to stay out with me, and we go get ice cream and then she says she wants to go back to my place. We head back to my place and she asks me to make her a drink, "Surprise me!!!" and tells me she has a surprise for me and puts a favorite movie of mine in and lays down on the bed.

She then starts asking me what I want for my birthday (coming up very soon), and tells me she is going to take me out to dinner and a movie and on top of that she plans on baking me a special cake. Wow. Girlfriend much?

As we are laying on the bed, she rolls over close to me and I am thinking now might be a time to initiate the "bf/gf" conversation, but I decide not to. But she does it for me: "So [Karak]... why do you like spending so much time with me?"
"Because I like you."
"As more than a friend?"
"Of course... we talk all the time, go on dates all the time (and we do call them that) and we just have so much fun together."
"Yeah we do..." her voice trails off.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What is it?" I'm grinning at this point and she is smiling a little.
"Do you like... like like me... like romantically?"
"Yes of course. Isn't that obvious?"
She smiles, "Of course it's obvious."

There's a few moments of silence, and she starts talking again:
"Listen... [Karak]... I've never thought of you as anything more than a friend. I'm not interested in you in that way... I don't want to and have never wanted to be more than just friends."
My heart hits my throat, but I see a slight smile on her face and realize she's just kidding: "Hahaha, very funny [BG]."
The smile drops from her face instantly: "[Karak], I'm not kidding. You're just fun as a friend and all. That's all it's ever been."
Me: "What? Are you ****ing serious?"
"Yes"
"Do you talk to all your friends pretty much 24/7? Do you hook up with all of them? Do you go out on dates 3-4 nights a week with them? Is that how you treat all your 'juts friends?'"
"Well, to be honest, I just kind of go in phases with people, and you are just one of those phases. I talk to someone a lot for a while, then I move on to the next person, and you were never anything more than one of those phases. You spent a lot of money on me and gave me a lot of attention and it's nice, but you're just a friend. That's all I see you as."
I laugh out loud at this point, because I don't know what else to do.
There's about 5 minutes of silence, and then I say: "I think it's time for me to take you home."
Her: "Wait, what? Are you upset? What are you feeling right now?"
I don't say anything.
"Are you hurt? Are you disappointed? You are disappointed aren't you. I'm sorry you are disappointed. Maybe you are just confused? Are you confused and disappointed?"
At this point I realize she wants me to be disappointed and hurt. She wants me to tell her that.
I smile and say, "None of the above, but I'm tired and it's time to go home. Let's go."
Her: "Wait, what is it? Why are you upset?"
Me: "I have to pee."

I go to the bathroom and without saying a word come out and we go out to our car. The entire nearly 25 minute car ride home I say exactly 7 words which came out about 3/4s of the way to her house: "Can I have a piece of gum?"

I drop her off at her house, and she looks at me as I unlock the door as if she's waiting for me to say something. I smile and say, "Have a great night." and she just pauses... "I made that dip for your tailgate today... it's in your car. Don't forget it."

I shrug and say, "Yeah, whatever. Have a good night." and she is still sitting there staring. At this point I have dialed one of my friends on my phone, and my car has bluetooth so the ringing phone has overtaken teh entire speaker system. She just gets out and walks in her house. The dip is now in my garbage can. That's too bad because it was good too.

The entire car ride home I wanted to unload on her. I wanted to call her a user, ask her how she could act this way with someone and not expect to hurt them, ask her why if she KNEW I was interested (which she has made clear over the past 2 weeks) why she continued to use me and abuse me. Why didn't she say anything? Why did she ACT like my girlfriend if she had no intentions of BEING my girlfriend or even being romantically interested in me? Why would she let me buy her dinner, take her to the movies, take her to all my social events, invite her over for drinks and a movie, take her for ice cream, insits we go back to my house, text me 24/7, text me 2134234 times in a row if I don't respond, IM me constantly... I wanted to say WHY THE **** WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU ARE EITHER INCREDIBLY STUPID OR INCREDIBLY CRUEL.

But I didn't. Because that's what she wanted. I juts put my best face on, smiled and bid her a good evening. I even sang a little bit to some of the songs on the radio on the way back.

But needless to say right now I am hurt, sad, distraught, lonely and confused. I have no idea what just happened. I'm in a state of shock. I haven't been blindsided like that in a long time.

But should I be shocked? Didn't I predict this on here? Didn't I say all along she was just using me?

How did I, at 24-years-old, reasonably intelligent and socially cognizant, allow a 19-year-old tramp to use me like this? How did I let that happen? Am I really that desperate?

Feel free to take cheap shots at me or throw I-told-you-sos or just generally insult me. I won't receive it well. I'll likely overreact and respond poorly to your trolling. You've been warned. Don't get angry when I say/post/react in a stupid way.

I'll also appreciate any support and advice. I'm just kind of blank right now. I really don't know what to say. I'm just drained.

I won't be proofreading this. I'll probably just post it and try to fall asleep. I might edit it out in the morning, but I doubt it. Goodnight and thanks for reading.

FRIST

also im drunk right now so


yeah

how can i not drink after all that? the hilarious part is i showed up where all my friends were to drink after dropping her off and the first 5 comments i hear before ic an even open my mouth are:

"where's your other half?"
"Are you guys FBO yet?"
"You guys are SOOO cuute together"
"looked like it was getting pretty serious tonight."
"ooooohhh you guys set a date yet?"

amazing.

Karak, I have nothing to say. Except wow, man, that hurts. I mean, there's no ****ing way you could have predicted this. You know how we all say that it's your fault you get put in these spots? This one's not on you. You can't do anything here.

Man, how the **** do you meet these chicks. ****.

I mean, man, that's the most brutal TR I've read in a long, long time.

My only advice: BEER.