Quote:
Originally Posted by Investment_Banker
- I think there might a general idea that sometimes telling a girl how you feel is a bad thing; I agree in most circumstances (especially in the beginning of the relationship - like TUTS, I would never advocate talking about your feelings to your new freshman prospect) however as relationships progress and they don't seem to be going anywhere positive and its killing you, why not take a shot and tell them that you are interested in pursuing something more than just being "friends". The downside is that they shut you down, and it hurts. The upside is that you finally define the relationship, you gain experience in having difficult conversations, you grow emotionally, and you can look back and say that "well at least a took a shot".
Hiya. Welcome to the forum.
I'm not sure if you're referring to relationships in a romantic or platonic sense, here. If you're going on dates with a girl and it's stagnating but you like her, I'll admit that being honest about your feelings may prove fruitful. If you're talking about someone you're 100% friends with (hmm.. lets say 95%) I just don't think having that kind of conversation helps you in any way.
Some girls are irrational while others have strange biological drives few of us could ever hope to understand - when a guy tells her he "likes them", some of these girls seem to automatically make a few assumptions (consciously or otherwise). They wonder how long you've felt this way, why you haven't mentioned this sooner, why you chose this exact moment, why you just didn't have the guts to ask them out, how much pressure they feel knowing you "like them" (i.e. relationship-ish) instead of just wanting to go on a date with them, etc. I'm not saying all women do these things or that they think all of these things... but it doesn't take a genius to figure out why they might.
These assumptions aren't even that unreasonable in a lot of ways. If you honestly thought you were hot stuff you'd probably just assume the girl wanted to go out and you'd just ask them, wouldn't you? Most hot girls have had dozens of men half-assedly admiring them without sacking up like men and taking the plunge.. it's just too easy to get grouped with all of the bad vibes those smarmasaurs have earned.