My kids are too young to understand the financial aspect.. htey are 2 and 4.

We are definitely sending them to private school.

My wife and I both grew up very "middle class", and we both did better financially than our parents, so I'd say we do have an appreciation for what we earned in life, pre-lottery.

As I mentioned earlier, we are going to do some interesting trips... motor home across country, spend a summer in Europe, maybe somewhere else, etc.

What are your reasons why? I would like to hear your thoughts. I can only assume that the public school they would attend would be a good school to begin with. Is it for the less distractions, or do you truly feel they will get a better education in the private education?

I have always viewed it personally, that kids will get what they want out of their education due to their own interest level or willingness to achieve even in things that they might not really want to be doing, and secondly what their parents want them to get out of whatever education they are presented with.

I was public, and I did well. I personally would want my kids to go to a "good" public school, since I feel it was beneficial in my growth as a person. I know friends who went private, and had no interest in really applying themselves fully, thus resulting in a worse educational experience which was paid for by the parents. Obviously money is not an issue, and I am not trying to sway you in your decisions by any means. It's very possible you went to private school and prefer to have your children follow suit, which makes sense, because that is exactly what I am saying from the opposite perspective.

I'm in Michigan, and we are part of the Powerball Lotto game, along with the state lotto. If you win the state lotto you can remain anonymous. But I do know that Powerball requires you to come forward and "claim" your prize. They do this to obviously promote themselves.

In general, I don't think that the government at any level can do as good a job as the private sector. As for education, while there are some good public schools, I think that you really get what you pay for with a top private school.

For one thing, the standards are set higher and you are paying them to push your kid forward, not teach to the lowest common denominator. Second, I think that private schools are much more well equipped to design curricula that target individual students strengths and interests. And while I do agree a lot is up to the kids and parents, there are benefits you can get in a top private school you can't get elsewhere... college admission being a big one. Andover academy has more than 1/3 of their graduating class go to Ivy League colleges... same for other top privates... even in good public schools, you are lucky to see the valadictorian go Ivy.

More beneficial than a private school would have been? How can you tell? Sample size problem IMO.

What makes you think this was because of the school? Again, sample size.

What makes you think this was because of the school? Again, sample size.

Well, it's just like, my opinion man.....(Dude impersonation)

From my own experiences this is what I perceived to be the case with myself and my friends. I never said it was right, just what I personally experienced, and I stated that, just so he understood where I was coming from, in regards to the questions regarding public/private schools.

It is typical for top privates to be feeders to the Ivys

These days, there are so many prep classes for the SAT and etc that I would be surprised if private schools didn't have a big lead in preparing students, too.

I'd guess that in most public schools, students around the valedictorian level of accomplishment quite often don't even bother applying to the Ivy's. But that would be partly because they figure they simply can't afford it, and also because they figure they wouldn't be welcome socially.

OP, just spent the last hour reading through your threads. entertaining, mostly because I imagine what I'd do. I'd probably be nittier than you actually, and definitely wouldn't give anything away to family in your situation (most of whom wouldn't accept and would be pissed that I offered). A couple thoughts and questions:

1. No more kids? I've got my first kid on the way, but I think that if money and time were no object I'd probably have a bunch of kids. Specifically, I think I'd want to make sure I had at least one boy and girl. For a gun and golf nut who really values his family, it seems like having a boy would be exactly the sort of thing you'd want.

2. You've commented on your charity work, and I salute you. It's probably more than 95% of people would do. You mentioned thinking you'd spend more personal time (I think it was with homeless vets). Have you increased your time as much as you thought? Have you gotten asked to be on the board of any local ones for charity on anything?

3. Sounds like you try to not talk about it, but I'm sure word must eventually get out in any social circle that you join...I'd think that people asking you about it would be annoying in the long-term even if it doesn't annoy you much right now. Have you thought about how to combat this? Are you going to try to create another story for the rest of your life? If it happened to me, I'd stick $10MM in a venture capital fund that I'd manage. I want to do VC anyway, so I could just skip a few steps on the career ladder. I'd offer other investors a great structure (very small to zero management fee, 25% carried interest after a 12% hurdle rate) and hopefully thus be able to convince casual observers that this is where my money comes from. In the long run, I'd have an alternative narrative to tell about my life.

4. What's the over/under on time to get to scratch? I imagine you'll eventually play almost every famous course in the world, which is pretty cool. (How many have you played already?) If it were me, I'd totally see a match in every famous soccer stadium in the world.

5. I agree that top privates are feeders to top undergrads, but it can be strategic sometimes not to. You've probably already realized this, but here's an example anyway: I had a friend from Northern Virginia who purposely didn't go to TJ (arguably the best high school in the nation, public or private) for college admissions purposes. He ended up at Princeton for undergrad, and credits choosing not to go to TJ.

I'm not sure I'd want my kids to have to stress over the high school grades required to get into a top 10 undergrad. An ex-gf went to one of the best prep schools in the nation and had a nervous breakdown in high school. It seems like alot of the prep kids I know have stories like this. Just a thought.

I went to a prep school for HS and would do it again. I've already graduated from college but I absolutely feel that it gave me a leg up there, which was ivy (bargbargbarg)

Andover has a pretty good sample size. The problem there is (possibly) selection bias.

lrn2nitpick

May have more kids... we are discussing... having kids isn't that easy, so get back in touch in a few years when you have a couple already

Issue of money hasn't come up much in my social circles. We hang out with people in our neighborhood, college friends of upper/middle class, etc., and we haven't been living so extravagently that somebody would suspect anything. I sold the business I had, so I think in most cases people just assume I'm living well from that. It is nobody's business, and I treat it as such.

As for golf, no over/under time. I only started to really "work" at improving again recently. I have played a lot of great courses... Pebble, Spyglass, Whistling (where they just held the PGA), Bandon Dunes, Ocean Club, the Foxwoods course (very good IMO), and a few other Golf Digest ranked courses. We are planning an annual golf trip now in top golf spots, and I'll probably do one trip a year with my family in an area where I can play.

As for school stress/pressure, kids these days are pussies because parents make them that way... there is nothing wrong with pushing your kids to excel in school. That said, college isn't for everybody, and if my daughters wanted to be plumbers or electricians, I'd push them to be the best they can be at that too.

Most Ivy's have need blind admission and give a lot of financial aid. For example, at Dartmouth if your parents earned less than 75K a year, then tuition is free. Harvard, Princeton have similar aid. This doesn't mean students don't apply thinking they couldn't afford it. It just means they would be wrong. I think they would also be wrong in the social aspect. There are all kinds of people at the universities. They would find someone to hang out with.

Glad you caught my slight joke.

I think a lot of it is psychological. I was just reading an article the other day talking about a study saying kids who grew up poor and lower middle class have incredibly low expectations for themselves regardless of their abilities. I've read that before and experienced it among the people I've known countless times too. Because of that, those people are likely to try for less.

Also, there's a huge distinction between getting a lot of financial aid and getting full tuition. Many of these schools are ridiculously expensive, and there are also living expenses to consider. Going to a nearby state school, likely while living at home, can be the only thing reasonably affordable to someone who doesn't anticipate a full scholarship and/or some sort of further stipend. Some of these kids graduate high school without a red cent in their pocket.

And many parents don't help financially, or don't help enough to make any serious dent in expenses, so even solidly middle class kids can find college a near impossible expense.

Unrelated topic, but I've been saying this for years... private college tuition has outpaced the ROI... that said, I started saying it in the late 90s, and applications are way up.

Tell me about your P90x adventrures.....do you do the yoga X? I never had the patience for that one. Did you make it through all the videos at first or work your way up? Must feel really good after a few 90 day sessions of that program.....

Unfortunately, the gap between what college-educated and non-college educated people make continues to widen regardless.

I did Yoga X for the first 2 rotations. I now do a little bit of a more "modified" version. I'm thinking of switching to P90X plus.

I did the "doubles" program exactly as described in the book the first time around. I could not keep up with Tony for a while, but over time things got better. I'm easily in the best shape of my life now... here are some "stats" for you.

START:

13 push ups
2 pull ups
208 lbs
39" waist

TODAY:

52 push ups
22 pull ups
178 lbs
32" waist

Very impressive progress! Good work!

Thanks - I've heard some criticism of the program, but I'd put my fitness today up against just about anybody!

I think that, like with a lot of exercise programs, what you put in is what you get out. For whatever reason, I just stayed motivated doing p90x and it became routine. Plus, there is nothing fancy about the exercise... it is just old fashioned stuff that works.

I asked around about fitness expectations in certain places, and the marine corps fitness test gives a perfect 100 score on pull ups if you can do 20 perfect "dead hang" pull ups... I figure if I could max out the upper body portion of the marine fitness test, I must be fit!

I think there's some selection bias there, too.

I think you hit the nail on the head, meso. The main thing is not finding the perfect work-out possible, and you could spend years yakking and dithering on that project without having anything to show for it. The main thing is finding something you can stomach doing regularly, as a natural part of your lifestyle.

I think for most people, in the long term, that's probably a sport. If you can stick to fitness simply for fitness's sake, you have better discipline than most.

Thanks Blarg - yes, finding something you can do, and do regularly really helps. I get some benefit from golf because I walk, and play a lot, but that isn't very strenuous.

P90X is great, IMO, because you are moving your body weight... push ups, pull ups, and lots of various cardio. Plus, combined with a decent set of dumbells (or the bowflex set I use), you don't need a complete home gym. The workouts change things up, they move at a good pace, and if you are really pressed for time, you could do this and never even need a full hour.

I was in decent shape in college, but I let myself slide, so finding this routine and sticking to it has really helped.