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Old 06-19-2008, 05:21 PM   #1
DavidLock
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Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

my poker buddies are such idiots that i absolutely have to post this story on my own or else they will.. with saucier details. this were probably the most embarassing moments in my life.

so we were, as usual, after a long poker session, sitting at local bar, getting wasted beyond insanity. at that time i start to notice this cute short-haired girl who is looking at me all the time. at that time i was so drunk i fell asleep at the bar from time to time, bartenders randomly waking me up.. we are regulars so they are used to it. they always joke around and call us pijani lipés (drunken idiots in english). so at that time i accidentaly lean on this big guy and of course he starts a riot. i am fckd up beyond recognition and my poker buddies run from the bar as soon as the fight starts. it didn't last very long because he just pushed me, i fell down and cut my head open (got 8 stiches on my forehead later on). bartender ivan was telling me go to hospital all the time while i couldnt even feel it. well, suddenly this cute girl comes to me and says that she saw what happened and if i go with her she can treat the wound, it was no problem, she said:"i am a nurse, we do this sht all the time" well, i am scared to death of hospitals so i sheepishly say yes and follow her home. when we get out the shock subsides and i start to get a little sober and the ***** pain sets in. i tell her please hurry i need something to drink i'll not last any longer the pain is getting ridiculous. i can't remember how we came home but there we were, she was treating my wound and i was drkinking her tequila. well after she treats my wound she tells me to lay on the bed. of course i do, the pain is getting better and when i close my eyes the nausea that follows it is unbearable. well after a while she starts to cuddle and kissing my, i am ***** stiff what the hell is going on is this girl crazy. i couldnt get it up but shes going at it like shes a diabetic and my stick's got insulin in it. i am starting to cum in she stops im like wtf are you doin she says do you want me to do now and im like of course im so horny its crazy she says close your eyes i close my eyes and went. something sausagy like comes into my mouth and he's a ***** guy!!!!!! i start to scream, throw him/her from his bed start to run to the door and fall down and lose consciousness.

i wake up in a couple of hours, that guy kneeling next to me scared shtless i start to curse and tell im hes dead when i get up and he is so scared he starts crying. apparently he told me everything when we were walking home (i guess that is the part i don't rembember) and i was cool with that, mumbling about wanting to expermient. the next day we get wasted and i blalbber about it, probably my second biggest mistake in my life, next to the one in the topic.

please, FiJi and Scarz, i hope that was enough, you bastards.
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:24 PM   #2
TILTINGINKY
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

She's going at it like my sticks got insulin in it......said the guy with man meat in his mouth.....

LMFAO.........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:29 PM   #3
Chau Bahk Sie
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

enjoyed story, avatar, and location immensely.
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:30 PM   #4
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

lol, let me be the first to say, that was priceless! Thank you for my LOL at work.
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:33 PM   #5
getterdone36
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

PICS of busted head
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Old 06-19-2008, 05:52 PM   #6
haggy
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

op, fwiw, you have now caught teh gay
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:04 PM   #7
DavidLock
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

[img]http://img2.*********************/uploads/ec5bf5b10c.jpg[/img]

i suck at taing pictures
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:25 PM   #8
findingneema
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

I live in San Francisco, and this is one of the gayest stories I've heard, wow
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:30 PM   #9
vaNq
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

i hope this is a level for the sake of humanity
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:33 PM   #10
dhg223
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

so it was a cute short haired male who was eyeing you at the bar and he is a nurse?
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:35 PM   #11
Kinbor
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

male 'nurses' are very common in bulgarija where OP probably lives so is this movement of feminine looking fellas theyre liek thai ladyboys.
and lol davidlock, you stupid bastard.
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:38 PM   #12
findingneema
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinbor View Post
male 'nurses' are very common in bulgarija where OP probably lives so is this movement of feminine looking fellas theyre liek thai ladyboys
male nurses are pretty common here too
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:40 PM   #13
DaAznFella
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

seriously? LMAO
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:42 PM   #14
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Thumbs up Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

oh wow
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:42 PM   #15
Snozynoze
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidLock View Post
Edward Norton?
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:46 PM   #16
zinn0
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

enjoy teh superaids
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:47 PM   #17
4_2_it
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

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Old 06-19-2008, 07:50 PM   #18
getterdone36
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidLock View Post


this has got to be a solid brag here, looks like solid stich work to the forehead, and you got your dyck sucked, all for free, it could be worse, IMO
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:05 PM   #19
eighty6
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

thats like a solid 7-head
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:13 PM   #20
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

This has got to be one of the funniest beats i've read on here

5 star thread, sir
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:36 PM   #21
Burz
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

awesome
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:47 PM   #22
Dark_Mace
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

****ing hallerious.
Also your gay. that is all.
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:51 PM   #23
brandofo
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

wtf
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:54 PM   #24
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

omg wow op is gay!
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Old 06-19-2008, 09:05 PM   #25
JokersAttack
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Re: Life beat: How I unintentionally mated

few things to note:

- most girls with peens try to conceal them
- this one didn't. thus:
- either you made her comfortable enough to stick her peen in your mouth
- or she felt as if you knew what he/she was and wanted

either way you are gay imo
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