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Pog Pub - June 2012 (LC) - Now with even (fewer) more gimmicks! NSFW

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Page 38 of 571

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Page 38 of 571

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06-04-2012 , 11:46 AM

#926

kokiri

ffermwr moch

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 52,228

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDean1

Like recently I was at a wedding and talking to some guy when Ke$ha started playing, and it came up that we both are somewhat ashamedly fond of her music. That was a moment of mutual empathy- you become close to people who can relate to your experiences + emotions and you don't with those who don't.

I wouldn't really characterise this as empathy at all. Or at least it's only a small part of a bigger, more powerful thing.

I think what makes empathy empathy is the imaginative leap into another's feelings. I'd they're the same as yours, theñ bfd.

06-04-2012 , 11:48 AM

#927

amplify

Eternal Unknowable Mesmerizing

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 78,803

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokiri

I wouldn't really characterise this as empathy at all. Or at least it's only a small part of a bigger, more powerful thing.

I think what makes empathy empathy is the imaginative leap into another's feelings. I'd they're the same as yours, theñ bfd.

I believe the word Dean is looking for there is sympatico.

06-04-2012 , 11:49 AM

#928

pwnsall

CFBBPC

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 66,209

there is a huge thread in OOT about cooking steak

06-04-2012 , 11:49 AM

#929

kokiri

ffermwr moch

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 52,228

Quote:

Originally Posted by wahoopride

knowing atak he probably put his correct birthday for every gimmick.

Either that, or they all have a different one, and he's made it to July by now.

06-04-2012 , 11:51 AM

#930

TheDean1

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 35,900

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokiri

Re empathy, neither 1) (which I'm not sure I really understand since it sounds impossible) nor 2 - I think it's an imaginative experience - I think how I think it would feel to be in their situation and feel it, although it's not a deliberate process, it just happens.

OK this is pretty much what I was looking for- I sort of realized that I can only somewhat indirectly empathize, and was wondering how it went down directly. My option 1 was a guess that I felt a bit shaky about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amplify

I have done various kinds of empathetic training, one of the most powerful was a Tibetan practice called Tonglen. You breathe in all the pain and suffering of the world, visualized as black smoke, and breathe out lovingkindness, visualized as white smoke.

Very good for building empathy. It's like a muscle, you have to exercise or it will atrophy.

Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg is a good exercise manual.

I've heard about visualization techniques like this, but don't understand how this pertains to empathy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokiri

I wouldn't really characterise this as empathy at all. Or at least it's only a small part of a bigger, more powerful thing.

I think what makes empathy empathy is the imaginative leap into another's feelings. I'd they're the same as yours, theñ bfd.

I know it wasn't a great example. I don't know, maybe I'm not empathetic at all and just really good at faking it. But for me I'd say that somebody understanding my feelings is good, somebody sharing my feelings is great- having them align is pretty important I think.

06-04-2012 , 11:53 AM

#931

Krayz

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 47,277

I'm extremely empathetic. I believe it is more of a blessing than a curse.

06-04-2012 , 11:54 AM

#932

amplify

Eternal Unknowable Mesmerizing

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 78,803

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDean1

I've heard about visualization techniques like this, but don't understand how this pertains to empathy.

shocking

06-04-2012 , 11:55 AM

#933

TheDean1

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 35,900

Quote:

Originally Posted by amplify

I believe the word Dean is looking for there is sympatico.

Yeah, probably.

Empathy is a shaky subject for me because I'm always so emotionally detached, so I'm really curious as to how other people do it.

edit: I'm sort of conceding that this subject isn't my strong suit- would be rad if you can clarify what that does for empathy? I legit don't get it but would like to.

06-04-2012 , 11:58 AM

#934

pwnsall

CFBBPC

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 66,209

em·pa·thy [em-puh-thee] Show IPA
noun
1.
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

06-04-2012 , 11:59 AM

#935

biggerboat

you're gonna need one

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 49,837

I'm pretty empathetic about Mac's steak angst.

06-04-2012 , 12:03 PM

#936

McAvoy

banned

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 46,476

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDean1

Like recently I was at a wedding and talking to some guy when Ke$ha started playing, and it came up that we both are somewhat ashamedly fond of her music. That was a moment of mutual empathy- you become close to people who can relate to your experiences + emotions and you don't with those who don't.

Think of when you tell a story, how different it makes you feel when a person says "that's cool" and changes the subject vs saying "oh yeah, totally know how you feel" and then shares a similar experience of their own. You will NEVER become friends with the person who always does the former.

I don't think this is necessarily empathy though. I think this is more along the lines of mimicking a person's style to get them to like you. I think I read that in Carengie's book about Winning Friends or maybe I read it elsewhere.

For some reason, I associate empathy with sad feelings.

06-04-2012 , 12:03 PM

#937

amplify

Eternal Unknowable Mesmerizing

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 78,803

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDean1

would be rad if you can clarify what that does for empathy? I legit don't get it but would like to.

manifesting genuine desire for the well-being and happiness of others overcomes narcissistic predisposition and enables you to recognize their suffering* and understand their emotions.

*suffering in the widest sense (dukkha in Pali & Sanskrit), obviously you can empathize with happy feelings.

06-04-2012 , 12:08 PM

#938

Supine

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 16,122

SO GABE WHEN IS HPV

06-04-2012 , 12:08 PM

#939

McAvoy

banned

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 46,476

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krayz

I'm extremely empathetic. I believe it is more of a blessing than a curse.

Does it just happen?

06-04-2012 , 12:13 PM

#940

Krayz

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 47,277

Quote:

Originally Posted by McAvoy

Does it just happen?

Yes, it's almost completely a subconscious process.

06-04-2012 , 12:21 PM

#941

younguns87

POG gonan POG

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 60,895

I'm getting a $27 hair cut to go along with my new attire. This ought to be interesting

06-04-2012 , 12:21 PM

#942

Larry Legend

Celtic Pride

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 42,244

Quote:

Originally Posted by gder

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...ative-1206869/

made a 4l thread involving my niece/sister so id appreciate all pog votes for lulz
or just pog views to see my ultra cute niece/pretty/model like sister. i come from a model like family imo!

anon pole fail

06-04-2012 , 12:26 PM

#943

Larry Legend

Celtic Pride

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 42,244

Quote:

Originally Posted by CPHoya

Just a note that if you were to roll on the TOTP girl with a popped polo and jeans she'd laugh at you, but if you were rocking a Hugo Boss suit you'd obviously get snap laid.

Sorry, I want this topic to die, but popped collar is 100% the worst look a guy can have ever.

If you think popping your collar is a good idea, you need to rethink everything you know about dressing.

Wearing a suit is awesome and very enjoyable, especially without a tie.

06-04-2012 , 12:26 PM

#944

TheDean1

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 35,900

Quote:

Originally Posted by McAvoy

I don't think this is necessarily empathy though. I think this is more along the lines of mimicking a person's style to get them to like you. I think I read that in Carengie's book about Winning Friends or maybe I read it elsewhere.

For some reason, I associate empathy with sad feelings.

Yeah you're right- I read Carnegie's book and I do that **** all naturally.

Anyway I def shifted the goalposts wrt the definition of empathy in my head. Thinking it over I am prob similar to kokiri, where somebody says "omg this just happened to me I'm so happy/sad/mad/etc" I can normally imagine how I'd feel in their same disposition. It's not a vividly imaginative experience, but it is imaginative neverthless.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amplify

manifesting genuine desire for the well-being and happiness of others overcomes narcissistic predisposition and enables you to recognize their suffering* and understand their emotions.

*suffering in the widest sense (dukkha in Pali & Sanskrit), obviously you can empathize with happy feelings.

This makes sense

FWIW I am narcissistic like **** but also do care about the happiness and well being of others, i.e. it legit makes me happy when I see somebody I care for in a happy state.

06-04-2012 , 12:29 PM

#945

TheDean1

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 35,900

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry Legend

If you think popping your collar is a good idea, you need to rethink everything you know about dressing.

Surely you can't articulate why.

The furthest your argument might get is that it's douchey, but women find douches to be attractive. If your goal is to dress to be attractive, popping your collar doesn't undermine that so it's a fine move. I have not popped my collar recently, and never did it all that frequently but sometimes I'd go out and be like "I want to be a ****ing douchebag tonight" and pop that ****, was good times.

06-04-2012 , 12:29 PM

#946

amplify

Eternal Unknowable Mesmerizing

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 78,803

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDean1

FWIW I am narcissistic like **** but also do care about the happiness and well being of others, i.e. it legit makes me happy when I see somebody I care for in a happy state.

That's easy. The trick is doing it with people you hate.

06-04-2012 , 12:30 PM

#947

biggerboat

you're gonna need one

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 49,837

I'm pretty happy when gf is happy.

Last edited by biggerboat; 06-04-2012 at 12:31 PM. Reason: Not really empathy - just sayin'

06-04-2012 , 12:32 PM

#948

TheDean1

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 35,900

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry Legend

anon pole fail

I lol'd so hard at this

Quote:

Originally Posted by elrey

im worried about how hot you think your sister is

Quote:

Originally Posted by gder

DNA tests prove her child isnt mine

06-04-2012 , 12:33 PM

#949

Larry Legend

Celtic Pride

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 42,244

I asked my gf re: popping collars and she said it was always lame, but maybe cool when guys were like 16-18. She said if she met someone with a popped collar at a bar, etc. she would 100% laugh at them.

06-04-2012 , 12:33 PM

#950

kioshk

Nixonian

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 93,115

I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too

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