As much as the r-word was the impetus for all of this, I don’t think it was ever really about the r-word per se, it was about morals and values and how we talk to each other and how we can interact and coexist with people we disagree with. This end result was both predictable and probably inevitable given everything, which is why I said I was sad that this was happening in the first post I made on the topic in the other thread

I’ll reconsider how I speak to people. It definitely seems time for a reconsider anyway. As for morals and values, I don’t think I have anything to apologize for on that front.

I disagree with a ton of takes from a bunch of people I respect. Some to a depressing degree.

Will be happy if we have a woman moderator again. I’m too depressed now for the rest of this. Good luck, guys.

I am pretty confident I am the problem.

When Birdman and UglyDe declared their intention to leave, I tried to persuade them to stay and see if we could work out a change that would allow them to keep playing and be happy in the forum going forward.

I thought that they would have been pleased at the near universal agreement that the r-word should be banned and added to the profanity filter, and they would be happy to remain. I did not want anyone to leave.

I thought long and hard about calling out Birdman's specific post before I did it but I did not think it demonstrated the attitude that I would want in a forum mod. But now they are apparently leaving anyway and I'm blocked on discord, so apparently, I broke our forum for no good reason.

If they want to stay they are welcome and I can take a hiatus.

You’re not the problem, Vr.

I don’t have any good answers, but I don’t think you have anything to apologize for. You said what I said, more or less, and if what you said was more offensive than what I said it’s only because you had a closer relationship to them or were more directly involved in addressing this with them

Please don’t take this on yourself

I don’t think anyone is “the problem” - I think this is just where we are in the world, not just here

The problem with using a popularity contest to determine mod is the winner won't want to upset the cart, even if it's leaking.

The problem with modding a firebrand is the likelihood of the cart catching fire.

Pretty sure their whole group quits and not just those two, which amounts to 4. Dmk seems to have quit. Great success.

WTF no.

VoraciousReader will always be my moderator

They made their own bed.

VR,
I understand why you would react that way, but the fact that you piled up a bunch of +1s immediately after posting should disabuse of you the notion that it's the correct reaction.

I’m just sorry it came to this, mostly, on both the macro level and the micro level

Meh, VR did insult bsball in the game where one of the incidents took place by saying he could only understand simple words, the fact that she refused to apologize or admit any wrong-doing might have put her in the wrong light already in the eyes of Bird and UgDe so that post above might have been a minor catalyst but not the reason.

A lot of people I like and respect who feel like either they would rather leave then deal with everything and others who I like and respect just feeling bad.

Only one instance of wishing another poster dead is probably a new pog record for a thread like this. Let’s just look at the silver lining.

vr's post was waaaaay too long to read. i lol'd at how long it was as i scrolled past it. but sounds like maybe she said some heavy stuff. idk what she said but...

birdman is my homie for life. and uglyd is too since he married her. and i liked her anyway, just based on the short time i posted with her.

birdman taught me a lot about politics and society and how to think about things, and how to talk to people. i'm very grateful.

When you’re truly committed to a position of see and do it exactly my way or I will leave, sometimes you end up leaving.

Too bad.

VR you should get credit for your efforts, not feel bad.

pretty sure the r-word is now banned, though

and I don't see much new hate, maybe only some underlying animosities exposed (and thus available for the next step towards remedy?)


also some good insights have developed from this and the previous thread

all in all, pretty good POG experience imo. Herbie & VR really shouldn't be so down.

She didn’t say anything offensive, unless you want to count “off the reservation”. Reading the room, I’m gonna say it’s not the bessst time to go full filthy though.

If we assume that, at a minimum, we have lost 3-5 core players that’s a huge loss in and of itself. It may have been necessary and may turn out for the best, but it seems at least as likely that it’s just a big net loss. I had hoped that we collectively as a team could do better

I’m gonna be that guy for a moment and suggest that we all be a lot less critical and at least a little more understanding of everyone else. I really do care about this place and the people that are here, and I don’t want to see everything just collapse into nobody giving a ****. It’s not perfect, but it’s home, so to speak

It wasn't the community that refused to allow for some level of compromise.

If the only option besides offering good-faith discussion and compromise was complete acquiescence, I don't know what you think would have been better.

I obviously agree, and I have very few specific criticisms to level at individuals through this process, which is what makes this especially hard. I can defend almost everyone’s individual actions, I am just sad and disappointed at the collective result

Fair enough; I understand.