There are 16 breasts in quad queens, food for thought.

^^ wat?

Funny comments. Love them. I see there are a lot of questions about SwankPoker. I will try to answer them all here in the same spirit. You can also write to me at rewards@swankpoker.com. I will post the answers under Sam’s FAQ at the Sam’s Letter section of SwankPoker.com. I am Sam, btw, the manager at SwankPoker, at least until it becomes big. Then they’ll probably get someone with MBA or something… :-)

I’ll use my quote system, instead of the forum’s.

diddlysquat: Poker and porn all wrapped up in one!

SAM: More like poker, porn and sex all wrapped up in one! Porn is something you watch and sex is something you do. I've been told, I don't know...

diddlysquat: Someone please set the over/under on how many months this site lasts!

SAM: Yeah, what the heck, get the bet going and we’ll come up with the prize.

VillainUnknown: What's my rakeback if I catch a venereal disease from one of their prostitutes?

SAM: If you’re “creative” enough to catch it from a legal working girl – no rakeback for you. Get the 365 condoms from the Rewards and put on 5 at a time, to make you feel safer and…bigger.

Sippin_criss: my gf was talking about this the other day, saying pokerstars should offer bj's etc in the fpp store.

SAM: Well, your girlfriend and you are in luck. You get your redemption with Swank Points and she won’t have to pretend not noticing you dangling your summer sausage in front of her.

leprous_hand: oh and damn them for not having a mac client

SAM: oh and send an email to mac@swankpoker.com and we’ll let you know as soon as our stunning Flash version is out in a few weeks.

Freudian: I suspect the quality of players a site like that may attract will be very low. But it will fail, like pretty much every porno/mainstream fusion yet.

SAM: Not if you and your mates show up :-). Not long ago you’d probably have laughed at someone for calling poker “mainstream”.
Well, far from being the next Stars, we'll do all we can to make Swank successful, and we hope you'll help us along...even if that fu**s-up your reputation as a psychic.

cftw: I think this site is genius in the sense that it attracts the worst players possible and could cause a new "cake rush" where underage online gamblers would be breaking two laws.

SAM: As we state in our Terms and Conditions, we take every measure, blah, blah,…ah, forget it. When it comes to the “underage online gamblers” – we deal with them as every other responsible cardroom does and even more stoutly, just because we offer adult entertainment. As for underage sex, I won’t even go there. This ain’t no Vatican Poker.

ashesofheroes: is there anything else other than the naked avatars?

SAM: Why don’t you send me your email address and I’ll set you up with $10 free bucks. You go check it. I won’t tell your master ;-)

eastern motors: There are only 5 tables of NLHE running and no Omaha or Stud. I was going to sign up but it seems pointless. The games look really good from the few hands I watched and the software seems decent.

SAM: The games are good, the software is decent, if we get you to play – it’s not pointless anymore and next thing you know - she is giving you a full-body massage and that’s not pointless AT ALL!!

toptopsid: I dont see its potential...Their highest tournament buy-in is $25.

SAM: Well, if you want to pay more - we'll take it! Nah, seriously, $25 buy-in for a $5k GTD with barely 60 people, can you really complain here?

hahahahahahahaha: Sigh, the problem is, twoplustwo found out about this too early. If not, I think the games would be much more juicy (lol) in like 5 months if it gained popularity elsewhere. Oh well.

SAM: Don’t give up on us just yet! :-) Even your avatar here, Cheburashka, thought he would have no friends at all and look what happened!

hockeyhero31: therefore earning approximately 1000 swank points per hour = lol your own porn flick?

SAM: Glad you made all the calculation, mate. The only thing I’d add is that we all know that at NL tables, you’d pretty much get a $1 rake at almost any limit, so you can spread your wad and get more points to spread your wad lol.

zerg rush: I really like the "Integrity" tab nestled comfortably next to the XXXtra tab and below the naked woman

SAM: You know, we like it there too.

Wilco666: Only one account per person allowed on this network, bummer.

SAM: As Groucho Marx said, ”Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.”
And seriously, bummer or no bummer, those are our principles. Network is promising a pretty clever solution allowing you to play at any cardroom on the network if you keep the same Nick on the table. We’re OK with that as long as your fellow players can keep a leash on you, whether you get off that fetish or not. Keep checking our News section.

thanks for the info Sam... sounds pretty cool

Sam, when do I get my 10 free Swank dollars

OMG **** rakeback, I'm all over this!!

Pics of swank girls??

samofswank for president!!!

lets make this happen

LMFAO WTH ?!?!?!

Swanks customer service seems to be on the balls.

Practice safe poker.....get it pok er....pok her....hahahhaahha.

sos is teh ****

IF I GET MY OWN PRONFILCK CAN IT BE TRANSEXUALS????

has anyone deposited yet? looks safe?

If only they start advertising on TV.....

Wtf, this is like 90 cents of rake? These girls must look like gothopotamus.

this is ****ing awesome (pun intended)

LOL, this was made-up. There is no such Reward and if there was it would require a little more than 90 cents in rake or would be free, a gift to those in need
You can check all current Rewards here

btw, you have have some catchphrases to let people know you're hip like ftp and pokerstars:

discover the porno star in you
learn, chat, and **** with the pros

i think those are both good.

This may be the funniest thing I've ever encountered on 2+2. Good job swank poker

lmao

and rofl @ q's and a's in SoS's post ^^
i'm not yet lonely enough to play there, but good idea ^^ now start advertising, that site has potential for making sick moniez.
just advertise on: torrent sites, streaming video sites (the barely legal ones), and sites like serials.ws. success guaranteed! now ship me 10% of your annual profit, tyvm

samofswank, how do i know my deposits will be secure and not charged 2 millions dollars (aka 23 euros?)

If this site is in Everleaf network (as someone mentioned earlier) then it's safe and it's also a major fishpond. Most of the traffic is during european high times. You can probably get rakeback too if you ask the customer support. They'll just attach a clause saying that you need to rake at least $200 a month to be eligible or something like that.

seems a little distracting and ******ed at same time. IF you cant get pussy maybe it is good idea for u to play on swank. But come people lose your virginity's and get some ***** discipline.

BTMegaCash: i tried to register and deposit but there is no deposit options for citizens of washington state

SAM: I’m quite sure you can deposit via PIC-CLUB.

isipil: has anyone deposited yet? looks safe? samofswank, how do i know my deposits will be secure and not charged 2 millions dollars (aka 23 euros?)

SAM: Yes, we had quite a few deposits and now that PIC-CLUB is activated you have another safe and fast deposit and cash out method. Funds are handled by the network and the House Balance (players' account balances) is kept in isolated accounts which are not used for any other purpose and are managed by two leading European banks. This ensures that Swank Poker players will always be able to cash out and their poker funds are always protected. You deposit in USD and cash out in USD. We don’t use Euros.

swissheep: i'm not yet lonely enough to play there, but good idea

SAM: Aside from being a good place for poker, although not yet heavily attended, we offer many good and fun rewards to couples as well, regardless of how “liberated” the couple is

Mr.Busto: seems a little distracting and ******ed at same time. IF you cant get pussy maybe it is good idea for u to play on swank. But come people lose your virginity's and get some ***** discipline.

SAM: You don’t have to play at Swank Poker just to get laid. You can just play. We won’t mind. Donate the pussy you qualify for to Thy Neighbor. He’ll thank you for it. And we’ll admire your “***** disciplne”

This samofswank guy is hilarious, no wonder he didnt need a MBA.
Is there a way to block all the explicit images? The girls are so ugly....