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02-22-2008 , 11:46 PM
Please impregnate my daughter and produce many more yous.
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I Am Going to Write a Poker Book
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02-22-2008 , 11:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Styhn
Hahahah who the hell is this guy?? OP is amazing.
Only one possibility...


























...quack........quack
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 12:03 AM
lol this thread is awesome. Thank god someone gave it five stars or I would've missed this.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 01:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TehVader
lol this thread is awesome. Thank god someone gave it five stars or I would've missed this.
QFT..
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 02:15 AM
glad i found this
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 02:36 AM
How is the "quick, whats 2+2" not gettin any love here?
great read btw OP, helped me get off tilt by goin down to 2NL and playing exactly how you described.
I made back all of my losses from 100nl in 3 mins
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 02:42 AM
Hes Yakshi the micro grinder....for those wondering.....
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 04:39 AM
This is by far the best thread I've read on 2+2 in months lol.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 04:56 AM
I could be wrong, but that may be the funniest thing i've ever read.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 07:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepJR
Only one possibility...


























...quack........quack
I'm afraid I don't follow?
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-23-2008 , 07:37 AM
she does not like it
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 12:09 AM
bump

Further developments needed, OP.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdullaev
Okay sir, I'm sorry for the cloak and dagger. My name is Tito Balzac. The Tito is silent, but you still have to mouth the word.
This guy is brilliant.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 12:55 AM
Your agent will bump into me. He will drop his green duffelbag, filled with cold hard cash, and he will pick up my green duffelbag, filled with monkey waste.

ROFL THAT ONE GOT ME SO BAD!
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 05:27 AM
So I'm playing a few thousand hands at The Deuce ($0.01/$0.02 no limit) when I figure it's time to bump it up to The Cinco for a little while. Experimenting a bit with a few microlimit strategy ideas from my book--like my 77 checkraise strat on overcard flops--when I discover that I'm not at 5NL at all, but 50NL, surrounded by high-stakes pros.

And as we know, the only way to beat a 50NL poker pro is to use the facepunching strat.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $0.50 BB (8 handed) Poker-Stars Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FlopTurnRiver)

Button ($14.25)
SB ($49.25)
BB ($53.25)
Hero ($49)
UTG+1 ($63.10)
MP1 ($79.10)
MP2 ($24.70)
CO ($50)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with 7, 7.
Hero calls $0.50, 2 folds, MP2 calls $0.50, 2 folds, SB raises to $1.5, 1 fold, Hero calls $1, MP2 calls $1.

Flop: ($5) J, 3, 4 (3 players)
SB bets $2.5, Hero raises to $9, MP2 folds, SB calls $6.5.

Holy shiite Muslim. Did I just raise to nine dollars? That's 9% of my bankroll.

Turn: ($24) 4 (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $16, SB raises $22.75 to $38.75,

Here I vigorously punch myself 6 times in the temple. If I am conscious afterwards, my seven will come.

I wake up on the floor with only 7 seconds left on my timer. I lurch to my keyboard, hit call, and without looking at the results I start running around the house highfiving my pets.

Hero calls $22.50.

River: ($101.25) 7

Final Pot: (101.25)

Quick question. What did villain have? Answer: A A. Frootloop didn't even know that the two red aces are a losing combo. Classic error. Lesson learned, friendo.

After that hand I'm thinking of bumping up the price of my book another $100.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 11:04 AM
Teach me
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-24-2008 , 11:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Styhn
I'm afraid I don't follow?
duckie
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-25-2008 , 04:53 PM
bump.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-25-2008 , 07:44 PM
Hand Rankings:

1. AsAc -- Darth Vader
2. AsAh -- Darth Vader's ******ed Cousin
3. KsKc -- The Brokeback
4. Td7d -- The Lipstick Lesbian
5. AhKh -- Grace Slick
6. Kd8d -- The Mechanical Bull
7. 4any4any -- The Midget
8. 3any3any -- The Chinaman
9. QsQc -- The Reverse Brokeback
10. AsAd -- The Consolation Hand
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdullaev
So I'm playing a few thousand hands at The Deuce ($0.01/$0.02 no limit) when I figure it's time to bump it up to The Cinco for a little while. Experimenting a bit with a few microlimit strategy ideas from my book--like my 77 checkraise strat on overcard flops--when I discover that I'm not at 5NL at all, but 50NL, surrounded by high-stakes pros.

And as we know, the only way to beat a 50NL poker pro is to use the facepunching strat.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $0.50 BB (8 handed) Poker-Stars Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FlopTurnRiver)

Button ($14.25)
SB ($49.25)
BB ($53.25)
Hero ($49)
UTG+1 ($63.10)
MP1 ($79.10)
MP2 ($24.70)
CO ($50)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with 7, 7.
Hero calls $0.50, 2 folds, MP2 calls $0.50, 2 folds, SB raises to $1.5, 1 fold, Hero calls $1, MP2 calls $1.

Flop: ($5) J, 3, 4 (3 players)
SB bets $2.5, Hero raises to $9, MP2 folds, SB calls $6.5.

Holy shiite Muslim. Did I just raise to nine dollars? That's 9% of my bankroll.

Turn: ($24) 4 (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $16, SB raises $22.75 to $38.75,

Here I vigorously punch myself 6 times in the temple. If I am conscious afterwards, my seven will come.

I wake up on the floor with only 7 seconds left on my timer. I lurch to my keyboard, hit call, and without looking at the results I start running around the house highfiving my pets.

Hero calls $22.50.

River: ($101.25) 7

Final Pot: (101.25)

Quick question. What did villain have? Answer: A A. Frootloop didn't even know that the two red aces are a losing combo. Classic error. Lesson learned, friendo.

After that hand I'm thinking of bumping up the price of my book another $100.
I thought the Red aces were a 55% favorite....What a contradiction......
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 07:05 PM
Villain didn't do all that he could've done to utilize his red aces to their maximum ability. Plus I had a spade. So there's that. And then there was the facepunching. I don't think villain was facepunching in that one. So his red aces were probably right around 49.47% or so. Couldn't be higher than 50%. Because he lost, you see.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 07:29 PM
Since when is the the temple considered part of the face?
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 08:33 PM
Since I started punching it for poker wins.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMitchA
Teach me
.
I Am Going to Write a Poker Book Quote
02-26-2008 , 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by btoowhai
I could be wrong, but that may be the funniest thing i've ever read.
QFquite possibly the best thread I've ever seen on here. OP is a pure comedic genius. Love it! BUMP
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