please tell me you drove 2 hours home then turned around and drove right back. Because that is what im picturing and that is making me giggle

Thx guys.. Heading to AC with Warmdeck and some other degen buddies at the end of the month. I don't even want to think what that write up is going to be like.

The best thing to do is lie to yourself that you're up overall, makes the degening all a little less sad

ive gambled for a long time, but never martingaled. Ive known of it for years, but i was always kind of afraid of it. I should try it next time i go, but maybe with a stop limit. lets see, betting player on baccarat only, 15 min table. Id prefer the 25 table though at a certain place, you can turn the cards too at 25 table. I go early in the AM, better chance your alone to turn them. so lets see, 25, 50, 100, 200, 400, 800=1625, but the next bet makes it like 3200 total if lost. No thats too scary for me for 25 win. Id rather just bet 25 on the fortune bonus at Pai Gow, that **** hits for a royal flush, your good to go!

lol never martingale worst strat ever

i saw 3 tables of baccarat today come player/banker

14 times in a row

So took $2,500 to the casino to play PLO. Had not gambled in 3 months, and have had an interesting / rocky last year. Mostly riddled with GA, money saving, and a 6 month period of gambling / PLO playing. Anyway, the plan was to play in a game last Wednesday that was a new PLO game I hadn't played yet.

So of course to warm up for this I go on Tuesday to the PLO game I used to play. I was up about $1,000, but lost a big pot and quit up about $375. Now remember a year ago I literally broke myself in a mad rage of Blackjack in Vegas after 3 years of essentially slowly breaking down through a combination of bad poker playing and bad blackjack playing. So i'm under strict supervision / rules from the GF not to play BJ, or even NL for that matter, simply PLO (full disclosure I'm not sposed to be gambling, but occasionally find ways to obtain "permission"). The fact that only PLO is allowed is so ridiculous I won't even begin...But I did have a $15k upswing in my 6 month period earlier that I managed to keep, so people who don't know about variance assume things...

So the line for the cage in the poker room was too long to wait to cash out. I walked across the casino and decided to bet the $175 in red chips I had on BJ (auto shuffler lol), in rough increments of $25. I lost every hand except for one I pushed. I kinda had that oh yea this why I don't play BJ anymore half smirk on my face. So after losing I decided to finally walk across the casino to cash out, which I did still up about $200 at this point.

Then I decided $100 on penny slots instead of leaving. Lost that in 5 minutes. So I walked out, but turned around, spelling out the V for Vendetta on the casino floor with my path. Sit at BJ, but still going small not trying to ruin anything - buy in $100 and bet $25 and keep doubling the win to try and run it up. It goes poorly and after $300 bucks I'm buying in $100 and just betting it all.

$100 win. $200 Blackjack. $500 push on 17. $500 lose. Ok so now this is starting to get a bit out of hand, but I still have like $2000 in my wallet so winning back the $500 I lost is certainly possible. So I switch tables and buy-in $500 and let the fun begin. 10 minutes later, I'm buying in $500 and betting all of it, and win! I'm like a roller coaster up and down, getting advice from the guy next to me (with his $50 bankroll) that slow and steady is the plan. I'm such a jerk / boss, that I complain to the dealer that this guy needs to STFU, as I essentially lose $1,600 at this table. Crap.

So now I'm walking out. Head down. Way down. I mean I went from $400 up playing PLO (even though I wasn't even sposed to be here this day), to $2,100 down, and no way to get more money to play the game I actually had permission to play the next day - without exposing the horrible exploits of tonight.

I'm deep in the self loathing, how am I going to explain this phase, when on my way out I decide for one last ditch. Sit at the same damn auto shuffler table, with the same damn dealer, where it all started 45 horrible minutes ago. Buyin $300 and bet $300.

Win. Bet $600 win. Bet $300, double, win. Bet $600 win. Bet $100 push. Bet $100 win. Quit. Somehow back to even.

Went the next day to the PLO game I was planning on playing and won ~$2k. Not so thinly veiled brag, but it's more the crazy recklessness, and last ditch "the gambler" style betting that makes this one post-worthy. Also a reminder that while you can take the casino away from the degen for awhile, it's impossible to take the degen away from a degen....

Crazy.

Well, its gone. But at least I gave myself a chance to get hot.

This is quality, nice come back. Best part has to be when you get home and act like nothing happened when your gf asks what you been doing or how your day went.

Anyone else not do the bet MAX on a slot machine and they would have won a huge amount?

Terrible feeling tbh....

But it amounts to this question... would it have still had the same roll if you did press the bet max? Or is the slot machine doing that to trick you?

I used to have a friend, lets call him David. David is a bit of an oddball, mentally unbalanced, rich parents who never taught him to value money and very prone to -EV life choices. Sitting on my porch, smoking a cigar with David several years ago, I was playing micro limit Omaha on my laptop on Stars and crushing pretty well (up 2.5-3 bi's).
After a while of David and I chatting while I smoked and played, I caught a God Hand, and while I don't have records from that far back, I'll give you the short version here. (4 players in hand, betting capped every round)
Me- KTK9,

Flop - QJ9 NUTS!
Turn J too sweet!
River - Brick
(never once did I click raise)
Results - Idiot A -QQ, Idiot B - Ax Idiot C - J9


When I hit that flop I have have David come around to my side of the table to watch, he is in awe of how I have an unbeatable hand and people are just giving me money. (I know this happens very rarely but a total noob with no poker knowledge sees this and loses his mind) David instantly demands that I teach him to play.
So I spend afternoons the next few weeks teaching him what I know about NLHE and even get him an invite to my regular home game. He plays so terribly, he's invited back and the house will even stock whatever he wants drinks/foodwise.
Fast forward to about 2 years to Xmas time. Remember how I said David is a bit of an oddball? Well, its important to note that he has next to zero use for technological gadgets beyond a cell phone (he didn't even get one of those until he was about 24 if I remember correctly). Well, his loaded parents bought him a brand new 64GB iPad2 with all the bells and whistles (about $800 or so at the time, I think).
I had been playing poker full-time for about 6 months at that point, didn't have a huge bankroll but did ok. David comes over with this new iPad and asks if I want to buy it off him. I really do want it, but $800 is enough of my bankroll to be painful. I offer him 200$ saying its the best I can do and if he doesn't want to sell it to me for that price, I fully understand. He quickly agrees and I hand him 2 c-notes and he gives me the iPad. After about two minutes curiosity gets the better of me and I ask him what he wants the money for. "Well, Dan, I kinda wanna play cards,". I am now faced with a moral dilemma, I just gave a man whom I know has zero ability to control impulses $200, and he wants to blow it on a poker game. I could take him to one of the local poker rooms (what I've done 3-4 times at this point, all with the same result, I break even/slightly up, David = busto), or I could attempt to assuage to semi-guilt at the ridiculous price I gave him on that iPad.
"Dave, I kinda feel like staying in tonight, how bout we just play here?" thinking we can just play for quarters or maybe a few 5$ HUSnG's, maybe I punt a hand/game or two and let him leave feeling good.
David replies, "Sure, I got $200, wanna play heads-up?"
Me - (hmmmmm) "Ok, what kinda game are you thinking?"
David - "We could play (open face) Chinese for $1/point" (OFC is a little on the gambley side for my taste, but its fun and i still feel a bit like I ripped off a friend)
Me - "Ok, but its over after 20 hands or 100 points whatever comes first.
David - "cool"
We play OFC for about an hour and when its done, I'm up about 30 points. At this point David talks me into playing NLHE with him for the rest of his cash. We agree to a HUSnG, 20k starting stack, blinds 25/50 and that's where they stay.
It only takes me about 45 minutes to catch him in a couple of bad spots and run up a 6/1 chip advantage on him and another 20 minutes of so to finish him off. He sticks around my place for the next few hours, playing CoD on my xbox (killing my KDR, but I wasn't gonna say anything) before we finally say goodnight at about 5am.
And that's the story of how I exploited the degen tendencies of a good friend to get a free iPad. Still have it today...

Epilogue - His parents finally cut him off and with no other place to go I let him crash on my couch for a couple weeks, when he left he took everything out of my fridge with him and some of my girlfriends stuff too. Haven't spoken to him since.

David = Degen. 😎

Same outcome regardless of bet.. It's a RNG that determines the outcome.

any side bet degens? I like pai gows side bet and match the dealer. One time i was down like 400, playing blackjack, and I started betting 25 on the match the dealer. Within 3 hands I was up 100. then i bet 50 on it, get a diamond and dealer gets ace of diamond. I left that night up like 500 from the bonus games alone. lol now i havent been playing blackjack much, its a bad game for me and i avoid it. Baccarat or roulette i prefer, nl hold me is good too

i lost 20 bucks on 50cent a hand blackjack last night do i belong here

No, go elsewhere until you lose more money.

Indeed.
Great story!

Eta Borgata in 20min, smooth sailing after exit 63 on GSP, to play some 25/50 PLO. Who's coming down, hit me up!

king niche for president. Here's all his own threads, definitely worth a read

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/se...rchid=49486990

Quote from King Niche about his gf (sorry to derail but this is way too funny):
"my EV always goes down when she starts nagging me which is constant pressure...even when she is being nice or trys to do something special for us i have to fake delight.she once made a recording of herself moaning for my birthday.. it was horrible. imagine an ogre scratching his bumhole and you will come close to understanding how it made me feel. she expected sex that night but i had to fake an injury. she wore some stockings that made her legs look like submarines"

Went to borgata this morning... Lost 2 full buy ins at 1/2 for 600 in about 3 hours. Was playing like crap, too hungover and managed to make it out of the casino without touching a pit game.

I did take the exit on the expressway to decide to stop at Taj and play my 150 slot$ I had accumulated from last trip. Lost the 150 in about 20 minutes then proceeded to dump another 800 on slots/electronic roulette over the course of 2 hours. This was not a "fun" day trip to play some poker as I had anticipated. My degen had been hiding for awhile but these last 2 trips I can see him coming back full force. I keep debating on doing another self ban but I know all that does it make me drive further crappier casinos when I get the urge. Well back to trying to save up some funds for my degen tendencies. Good news this is all cash I keep separate from my joint accounts with the wife. I'm once again thankful I didn't have our credit/debit cards on me or I knew this would have been wayyyy worse. Sucks because were having a small get together with sown friends tonight at my place and I'm in no mood to entertain. Really hope someone surprises me with some artificial happiness if you know what I mean 😜

I don't have funds right now to play live poker in the casino, but I had been really getting the urge to play live lately and I decided to play the nightly tournament for $65 after making some money. It's not a terrible structure and I was hoping to get some good play in and maybe book a win.

LOL.. Nope I donk off 120 BB on a bluff within 3rd level. I raised two limpers to 5.5x IP with A9 of diamonds hoping to get folds or maybe a call and then take it down with a bet of the flop and win a sweet pot... THINK AGAIN, donkey lady in SB decides to cold call.. I take an inner deep sigh as I can feel the tiltedness coming on when she donks 700 on J 10 6 into a 2000 chip pot. I can't go on with my dignity unless I raise this flop so I am definitely going to take a ****ing good sized stab to get that stupid **** to fold.. I raise to 2100, she calls. Turn is the deuce of diamonds and HOLY LORD I pick up the NUT FLUSH DRAW 8| so when she again donks 600 this time I decide to go with it again and RAISE.... could I win it right here?.. rake a sweet pot, take the initiative, go on to win the tournament?.. No because she stations again. River is a black king and she checks at which point I am so tilted when I look down at my measly shrunken stack with just one tiny 5k chip :'( Of course it would be so much better to risk it all and have a chance to win rather than have just a half stack... So I am nervous but try not to be obvious that I am sticking in 50 BB with just ACE HIGH and announce "ALL IN".


She stations w AJo....

Didn't have much of a run.

There is a regular of the daily tournaments in town who without fail will at least once in a tournament make an insane all in bluff with absolutely nothing OR call it off with LITERALLY any two cards if he feels like people are overly hampering him from seeing the flop by raising too often.

I feel like him lol

sethnoorzad, you are worse at poker than me, and that's saying a lot.
I never thought I'd say this, but stick to gambling games of chance. You'll do better.

Artificial happiness?

But a blow job isn't artificial.

have=2500$

want=15000$

easiest way to get it=?

thanks in advance

$2,500 on high numbers, then the $5,000 from that on middle column