Originally Posted by OMGBarackObama
Man where to begin with this thread... This is like, exactly what I'm dealing with, but I kinda hate that OP seems not too sincere. I mean c'mon, you've been taking this for 6 years and you can't fkn spell it? Adderall. Just seems like a load of crap, you "exaggerated your doses to get responses" Pretty fkn stupid. FYI 200mg is about a lethal dose, so I hope you did. I'm not coming at you all saintly, it's more that I'm currently putting heavy thought into if I want to continue taking adderall, and weighing the long term effects, and it's like there's this 2p2 thread where people might weigh in with good experience and comments, and OP is basically bragging about it and thinks it's cool.
A couple people touched on it pretty well. I'm worried about long term neurotoxicity in the synapse. I have a bachelors in psychology, and I spent an afternoon reading all about adderall and its long term effects on the brain via wikipedia one day (sadly while on adderall so I could concentrate.) Basically, it causes overstimulated neurotransmitters to die, and the effect is irreversible. From my understanding, it's not the kind of thing where you can do it for years, quit and hate life for a few months and then be back to normal. Your brain chemistry will be forever different for having taken it. This is what concerns me. My ability to focus, compute, think, ect will forever be worse for having taken adderall on a regular basis. It should be mentioned that I am legally prescribed 60mg a day, but I only take 40mg. Also, no doctor (I've received adhd medicine from 4-5 doctors lifetime) has EVER talked to me about how taking this was going to alter my brain chemistry in a negative way. I have been told, rather, that I need to take it every day b/c as it works in the brain, by taking it and not taking it, I'm confusing my brain, and that I should take it every day so adderall can work in my brain as intended.
If anyone has legit knowledge on the subject, from a neurological perspective, I'd love to hear it or hear if I'm understanding correctly.
I do find myself taking it to have the energy to enjoy social activities sometimes also. When I started taking it in college, it was just to study and very occasionally to party. Currently I do a lot more poker than partying, but it's grown into every time I play and most of the time I go out. I've relocated out of US for poker, and it's actually illegal in almost every country in the world. You carry it in your own prescription container and no one hassles you, but I won't be able to get more unless I go back to USA. Flying back to get Adderall just seems ******ed. I used to be able to take it once in a while to put in an epic grind session and it was great. That's what most non-prescribed players I know use it for. I used to do that too, but then I got the idea in my head (from my doctor) that I should be taking it every day. Every doctor I've ever had has pushed me to take it every day, saying that taking it once in awhile wouldn't help me long term, and that it's supposed to be taken daily. All that's done for me is jacked up my tolerance. I honestly feel that now when I'm on 40mg, I am about as focused as I was when I first started playing poker with no adderall, and when I don't take any adderall now, my mind is foggy and I don't feel as sharp as I once was.
Basically, the difficulties I expect to face trying to keep getting adderall while relocated out of US to play online made me think about not taking it, and then I did some research and some thinking, and the results aren't good. I can't play without it, it doesn't do nearly as much for me when I take it anymore The acute focus and good feelings are vague and shortlived (2.5 hours,) but the lack of appetite and inability to sleep last for up 10 (usually pop a melatonin to sleep, at least it's more natural than ambien I used to take for 2 years) It's like it's keeping my body up, but it's not keeping my mind up anymore.
I'd really like to just get back to the point where I take in once in a while, maybe on a sunday, and feel amazing off 20mg, and day in and day out I don't use it. How do I do that tho? Is it even possible? Can u reverse your tolerance? I used to take 5mg of dextroamphetamine and be flying all day. Now I'm on 40mg on Adderall and I feel "ok." I try to avoid taking it any days I don't play, but it doesn't seem to help my growing tolerance. Tbh, I guess I probably took it a lot to party after black friday, since I was living in vegas and didn't have much else to do (govt fkd my life essentially) I'm sure that's contributed to my current state. I guess I've always known that partying is something I'm growing out of, and that I will feel effects from it later in life, but it seems worth it to enjoy my youth. I don't really think of work the same way. I never think I'm gonna be paying for trying to work, get by and make money later in life. Usually I think of staying in and grinding, not drinking and working as good things to do that will help me later in life.
If you've ever met someone who used to be spun out on meth (or any drug really) even if they're now sober, they just seem fkd up. They're spacy, not all there, essentially we call them spun out. Doesn't matter if you're not on drugs anymore, you spend enough years of your life doing them and the effects are permanent. I've met plenty of people in Vegas that fit this criteria. I never thought this could happen with Adderall I was prescribed to help me focus in my poker career.
I mean the doctors would have me just take it every day forever? Is that the plan? Makes me a good customer I suppose, but really? Is that what doctors care about, or is it really possible that taking it every day for the rest of my life could be a legit reasonable option. Seems like a bit of a philosophical question. I'm not opposed to taking a pill every day. I take fishoils, multivitamins, ect But those aren't toxic, and neurotoxicity has to be the worst kind of toxic. Is this a serious issue? Do we even really know? I read about it on wikipedia, idk if that qualifies me to really know if it's good for my brain or not. I've always been a fan of stimulants, mountain dew and cokeacola as a kid, then redbull, preworkout for the gym, energy drinks, ect. I've always felt just coffee or tea was too weak for me. I sucks tho, you're consuming all this crap just to be able to function. Idk what to do, honestly. I'd like to picture not needing any stimulants to focus and play (or just live life for that matter) but idk if that's realistic for me. I've never been able to do that as far back as I can remember. When I take a buncha time off of work or school or w/e I stop taking any stimulants, but no matter how long I quit them for, when I try to get back to work and whatever it is, I need them to get anything done. Can anyone relate?
Anyway, just hoping to spark more intelligent discussion of the issue. Maybe BBV isn't the right home. On a side note, I've taken nuvigil (spelling?) and that stuff works pretty well. You don't feel as focused, but you won't sleep and you don't feel as artificially awake as when on adderall. It's just as if you don't need sleep, not as if you're cracked out. I suppose I could try to get prescribed that? Idk... But w/e you do, if you take adderall once in a while, keep it that way, and if you take anything close to 200mg a day, you legit might die. fwiw i think 80mg a day is the most that is legally prescribed to patients in the US, and in the few other countries where adderall is prescribed (I think it's only 4) most cap it at 30mg and no single tablets bigger than 10mg.
