The sammy has been offered his original ut from his previous account. The sammy has declined.

Sammy told me to tell you to calm down Waffle.

Calm down Waffle.

multi accounting scum

where the **** is my undertitle

no one looks at your undertitle when they look over there...

I thought I taught you TBH

You kiss KF ass when he's drunk and he gives you an UT instead of a ban

That moment when you realize you haven't changed the month on your desk calendar in a really long time...

i woke up in another world. i still have access to internet of the last world.

Okay here is a story of stupidity to brighten everyone's day (because if you are capable of reading this you aren't as stupid as the person in my story, feel good about that)

I used to work in a restaurant that was the fanciest place the bottom third of America could ever hope to eat at. Several $25+ entrees, specialty desserts, cloth napkins, etc. Every so often we would get poor people just trying to touch the good life in their own way, most of them were excellent customers (may not have tipped very well, but at least they were polite) but on occasion we would get the idiots that shouldn't have been let out into public unsupervised. This is the story of one such party, celebrating a birthday by going "all out" on an expensive dinner.

This party is 4 women, and while they were most likely native English speakers and US citizens, not one of them had a vocabulary beyond a typical 12 year old. These people look very out of place and the phrase "Oooh cloth napkins, Imma steal deez" was uttered as I approached the table. (Side note - she did ask for another napkin in the middle of the meal and none were left on the table at the end the silverware was also similarly absent) I take the first 3 orders and aside from a couple of "I've never heard of this before what is it?" questions (that weren't at all out of line, I have spent most of my life in the restaurant business and I wasn't really sure what polenta was before I started working there) nothing of note.

Now we get to the 4th woman, she's wearing lots of knock-off jewelry (I am by no means an expert on jewelry but this stuff was awful, and I had the server in the section next to me confirm it was fake), had the same government paid cell phone that my mentally challenged aunt has for emergencies (given only to those well below the poverty line) and for more fun, her purse still had the tag from the store on it as did her blouse (so she could use it and return it later). She orders the "Grilled Sal Mon" and I inform her that it comes with white rice and a vegetable and ask her what vegetable she would like, after some deliberation she settles on steamed broccoli.

The appetizers come and go without incident. Then the entrees come out. A co-worker of mine delivered the plates and I went to check up on them about 90 seconds later.

Me - How is everything tonight ladies?

Woman #4 - Excuse me, I can't believe you serve food like this in such a fancy restaurant

Me - What seems to be the problem ma'am?

W4 - This fish is VERY under cooked.

I look down at her plate and see the best piece of fish I had seen all week, grilled perfectly sitting there untouched. Not fully understanding yet what was going on here, I offered to have the fish taken back to the kitchen and made well done for her.

W4 - I don't want it well done, I want it cooked normally.

Me - Ma'am that is how salmon is prepared normally.

At this point my manager shows up behind me and basically echoes my sentiment. Eventually we convince her that we will take it back to the kitchen and have it cooked some more for her. Another 5 minutes on the grill and the once glorious piece of fish is now definitely over cooked but not burnt.

I bring out the over done fish and she wont even let it touch the table, sends it back to be cooked more. 5 more minutes on the grill and the cook can barely pick it up without it falling apart. Back to the table with my manager standing next to me I place it down in front of her.

W4 - I can't believe this, what kind of restaurant is this? Are you trying to kill me?

Manager - I'm sorry miss, I do not understand.

W4 - CAN"T YOU SEE ITS RAW!!!!

Me - Ma'am in my 12+ years in the restaurant industry, that is singly the most OVERCOOKED piece of fish I have ever seen.

W4 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ITS STILL PINK!!!

At this point my manager and I look at each other, I am dying on the inside and he is looking at me with that "Dan, you better not laugh in front of these people" look.

After 5 minutes of explanation from my manager (and confirmation comments from the next table over, who couldn't hold back their laughter) he pulled up the Food Network website from his phone and showed them a salmon recipe with finished pictures.

The woman calmed down but still demanded the entire table's check be comped for ruining her friends birthday with unsafe food (because you know millions die everyday from eating salmon). My manager comps the one woman's salmon and nothing else and then offers the table a desert to share. They get their free desert and pay their check and of course, did not tip. Every other party in my section tipped me extra and told me how I have such amazing patience and a really solid poker face if I could go through all of that without laughing or giving her the wtf face.

tl;dr - there's a reason why some people are poor and stay that way...

It's a good story, but it makes me a little sad that these people were rewarded for being dumb and stealing stuff.

Just found out that legendary actor Gene Wilder has passed away aged 83 from complications of Alzheimer's.

Sad

My manager gave them the free desert as a kindness, b/c we really should have picked up on it sooner that she was too dumb to know that salmon is a pink-ish meat. As for the theft, didn't see that until after they got up and left...

That story is so LOL Dan

I'm about to head back out to Palm Springs for two nights of star photography and pokerz, I'll share some pics itt

I bought 1 $5 and 2 $3 scratchers as a pre degen to my trip (bingo and crossword $3 and crossword $5) the $3 crossword was a bust but one letter short of being a big winner (that's how
They get ya ) I'll do the other two later after check in for now they just chilling in my cargo shorts pocket

The 2nd $3 one yielded a $10 win so I'm freerolling the $5 one. Oh the suspense! :P

The $5 one was also a $10 winner so I doubled up

**** that and **** this tuesday

tbh don't kiss ass for nobody

not even your avatar?

**** you Tuesday 2:00PM in an office.

Y u look at mah red stapler?

those are for putting you D in them silly

Getting a bagel at the cafe, the casino is quite nice and the rooms are def 4 star quality.

There are TWO 5-10 PLO games going in the poker room right now. I'm not rolled for that but I gotta poker my head in and see what's up

so a girl at my office was out all last week with an emergency "stomach surgery".

Turns out she shat a baby out and didn't know she was pregnant.

How the **** does that even happen.

Usually that only happens at the Senior Prom.

Is she significantly overweight? It's possible she wasn't "showing" and already has bad pain and didn't get morning sickness