In Sudafed and Buckley's (is this just a Canadian thing?) induced haze and will try to type up this trip report as quickly as possible.
Wake up on Saturday morning after hosting a large End of the World Party (Triumph rolls his eyes at my mainstream party ideas). I am very hungover, get a spicy bacon sandwich and a coffee, I am still very hungover. Get picked up by my older brother to drive up to our cottage in Quebec, which is roughly a 6 hour drive. Four hours into the drive we are informed we may or may not have power at our cottage. The power has been out since yesterday when powerlines were knocked down in a snowstorm and the running water has been shut off to prevent the pipes from freezing. Unsure if we have gotten power back, we try calling our neighbours, but no one picks up, probably not a good sign. We do reach someone who lives a 3-4 minute drive from us, he tells us he has power and he lives south of his and his brother has power and he lives north of us. I view this is a sign that we probably have power and think we should go to the cottage. My parents who left Toronto about an hour ahead of us, disagree and want to spend the night in MTL, I concede and we spend a night in MTL in a hotel, grab a nice dinner and fall asleep as the Lakers make a miraculous comeback vs. the Warriors.
I wake up the next morning and while setting fantasy lineups and getting in random NFL bets, I notice Kevmath tweet about this big DraftKings tournament, I click on the link and enter one bullet, which my older brother offers to chop with me (what a mistake) I am about to enter a second bullet when I am informed the tourney is full. I double check the lobby and realize my first bullet was one of the last three or so entries allowed in the tourney. It is daylight, so we drive up to the cottage, where there is still no power and we decide to go to a near by sportsbar planning on sweating the 1:00 games and returning to the cottage before sunset when we will definitely have power because it's close to Christmas and people can't not have power close to Christmas.* I drink a couple pints of dark beer and eat nachos and chicken wings before remembering we currently don't have indoor plumbing.
We drive to our cottage, there is still no power it is somewhere around 5 degrees Celsius in the cottage and I am relatively cold eventhough I am wearing long underwear and we instantly built a bigass fire to generate some heat. Outside of the heat our only source of light is the glow of my cellphone, which I am constantly refreshing. I have already used up one whole S3 battery sweating the games and have to use my spare battery and will eventually need to borrow my Dad's phone. Our main competition has like a 25 point lead on us and has Demaryius Thomas, we have Demaryius Thomas and the Bears D vs. the Cardinals. Bears D scores a TD early when Beanie Wells fumbles on his own 1 and we are suddenly very live vs. the Hoyer/Lindley/Skelton trio. At some point in the game (somewhere between refreshing my phone for the 300th and 400th time) Charles Tillman gets a pick 6 giving us a 1.5 pt lead, unfortunately we still need to fade Arizona scoring garbage time points, until Hoyer and co get sacked a couple times giving us a lead that will give us the win unless Arizona scores 14 or more points Arizona scores a TD down 28-6. Will Whisenhunt go for 2 right away, or will he wait and see if he really needs to go for 2?
We still need to sweat some theoretical teams that have 5 guys playing in the SNF game, but fortunately such teams don't exist we just need to fade a 25 pt game from Steven Hauschka, which is successfully done while cooking steak over the fire place, polishing off a bottle of Balvenie and opening up a cask strength Glenmorangie. I go to sleep in long underwear bundled in several blankets and wake up 4 hours later freezing cold as i rolled around in bed and ruined the structural integrity of a blanket formation I incorrectly believed was near perfect. The next day we continued to not have power or water and at 9:00 pm near freezing inside and -20 celsius outside and with dwindling firewood supplies we decided it would be best to get a hotel room. I packed up a bag, which included S2 of Deadwood I was planning on grinding through, but I stupidly forgot it in my hotel room when checking out the next morning, so here is hoping some maid at Mt. Tremblant is learning all about sucking **** by choice.
*Given the rampant corruption in Quebec I am sure there has to be someway to bribe Hydro Quebec to fix your power quicker. But if there is a code word I had no idea what it was and my best guess, speaking French with a competent French-Canadian accent was off the table.