Trollstoy, they'd have to be already living in the Bahamas, though.

And it's not like Korea is known as the sex capital of Asia.

Goodie, exactly! Also, we don't know how they met. She says she's from London. Was she on vacation from London when they met in Asia, and they later moved to another Asian country, or was she already living in Asia, and he met her when he moved there to play poker and meet Asian woman.

I have no clue what this means. I also have no clue if the last couple of responses are sarcastic or not.

You gave your opinion that there's nothing to worry about, drawing on your own experiences and observations, but you "can't stand" Henry giving his opposite opinion based on different experiences and observations, and are totally ignoring the same read by people who are not Henry, thus trying to say that he's wrong (and this wrongness in others doesn't bother you), but also he not wrong it's just his phrasing, but also no one can be certain, who is he to give his opinion on a topic made specifically to gather them?

I'm just saying you've been going overboard for a day now highlighting I H8 H17 which is awfully tiresome considering you're not even trying to build an argument anymore which references anything OP has said, only that Henry is an *******, or something. Let it ****ing go already or take it to PMs.

Goodie, i posted the one you quoted in the wrong thread . I am sincere that I think it makes a difference whether he was a sex-pat who met her while she was living in Asia, vs they were both from London and on vacation when they met. Also serious that anyone answering who doesn't realize they are both already living in Asia right now are missing an important detail.

I never said anything is certain. What I said is that in my experience a trip like this is fine if you trust your SO. She said she trusts him, so it's fine. Am I certain he's not going to cheat? Of course not. I'm not certain of anything as I don't even remotely have enough information to be so. And neither does anyone else.

And Henry is a douche and he deserves to be called out on it. Like, really, really, deserves it. In front of everyone.

Let's also disregard this part of the OP, as well:

OP, it doesn't matter where you're from, actually. The odds are pretty good that your boyfriend is going to cheat on you. It doesn't mean he intends to, or that he will, but based on the info you gave us, it's looking like a lock.

The reason you are pissed is that you want to think it is fine for a guy to go on a trip like this and I've said that any guy who does regardless of whether he cheat or not is a ****ty boyfriend. For some reason that hit a sore spot for you.

Yea this is very important and I missed that. Also the detail that it's only for 5 days. I'd probably lean towards not damning, but even as a pretty "whipped" guy that loooooves me some guy time, I can't imagine traveling without my gf. Like I said, I don't think I'd even enjoy it. Especially if she expressed feelings similar to the OP's.

Not true at all. Not in the least. I actually have no problem with you saying that. I disagree but I can see your point of view on that piece.

What I have a problem with (as I thought I made pretty damn clear) is you saying that it's 100% that this guy will cheat and you're insulting of the OP.

Which makes it very clear you're a huge douche. And I guess it sounds like everyone knows that. You're the only one that doesn't seem to realize it.

OP,

I have a little different perspective than most of the others posted. I don't think a 5-day trip makes much difference at all wrt whether or not he's going to cheat on you. If he's going to cheat on you on this trip, he prob has or is going to cheat on you in your regular relationship anyway. I don't think a 5-day trip is going to flip some switch where some guy who would otherwise be totally faithful to you is all of a sudden going to turn into a cheater because he's in Korea or wherever.

I've gone on plenty of trips (typically around some sporting event, bachelor party, or milestone birthday - the next big one is a week in Hong Kong for Rugby Sevens tournament, which is a huge multi-day party) w/ a mix of single and married/relationship guys. Decisions guys make on trips are generally consistent with the decisions they make in everyday life. So, in general, this trip doesn't sound like a big deal to me if you have a healthy, trusting relationship.

I will say, however, that this line sounded kinda odd: "I know he had always wanted to see those places and witness with his own eyes how the women really look like lol."

A lot of people think that, deep down, all guys want to cheat. Truth is, many of us simply can't stand another five minutes with our partner and couldn't care less if we ever have sex again.

El Diablo,

I agree with everything you said (except that I am not going to Hong Kong for Rugby Sevens).



OP,

El Diablo has a good take on this.

Henry

My experience with men who fetishize another race and try to exclusively date them is 100% weird losers. Does anyone have contradictory experience?

This is spot on. Completely spot on.

Perish the thought.

.

Imo if you're three years into a relationship and a "vacation" doesn't involve both partners, that's not so good, Al.

It's not like we don't go to trips together either. We do it a lot more. It's usually once a year that we go with our friends separately.

Okay, I just have to say it: I find it very weird how everyone just abhors the idea of each partner going on a vacation separately. Like what the heck, let's be realistic here shall we? There will be times where you just need that time away with friends so as not to loose yourself, or just to have your me time or your friend time or whatever. Besides it gives opportunity for you guys to look forward to be in each other's arms/legs/bodies/lol again, and have stories to spill/share and what not.

The thing is that every situation and relationship is different. In all relationships that you've had, that might be true. However, I have a few weekends a year that I go away with just my buddies and it's not at all problem with my wife and I. And we've been together for 15 years.

And it sounds like there are many others that have the same type of relationships.

So, as it is with almost everything, it depends.

Haven't really been online today much since I was playing with fishes, but anyways, thanks to everyone contributing to this thread

My bad for saying this. It was a bit of a snide comment; connected with how I usually joke about him with this one. But there's no malice in that. We just both really like Asia and try as much to go around to explore places before going back to London and settle down. (and come on, he has internet to see what those women look like)

I think it's important to note that I have met and talked to his friend who initially invited him, and apparently he was under the notion that I was coming too. But meh, I told him I wasn't and that I wanted them to have a good time together. (So I guess this was just some sort of silent agreement between my guy and I that it was apparent that it's one of our trips away from one another, so yeah, I really don't see anything wrong with this.)

Also, it's just my principle to give my partner the freedom to enjoy time with his friends even if they're single. It's the same way that I wouldn't want him to ban me from having a good time with my own single friends if I want to. For as much as possible, I don't want relationships to be some sort of cage or prison with such restrictions. Life is too short to put such a hold tight on one another like that.

Don't care if you guys believe or not, but nope. I haven't. There were always close calls that would tempt me (bloody hell, I'm just human) but I always make a choice not to act on it. And to a great extent, I have belief in my guy that he would make good choices too. Again, this is not jealousy; for me it's just insecurity or fear since apparently, I can't be reborn now as a Korean girl, can I?

Exactly. I was just simply concerned. He has been to trips before in other parts of Asia, but this one just bothered me all of a sudden because of his certain liking to those girls.

Maybe this is where most of you guys will alter your view on this matter. Haha! Okay I was born in London, 50% and 50% Asian. He's from London too. I went to Asia because of the cheap living costs and also to have some fun and meet my relatives. He went to Asia also for cheap living costs, also to have some fun with women and what not, travel, and more. We met in Asia at a time where we were both exhausted through all the meaningless sex with strangers. And so we got together and lived in together, met each other's side of the family, friends, blah blah blah. All this years he had proved me his love and loyalty to me and I did the same, so I still have the belief and faith in him as a person. It's just that all of a sudden for this one, it got me worried because like I said, it's the land of his most preferred Asian race. Lol. (How do I know? We both like being vocal about our preference or how we see other people, because we both want each other to feel that it's okay to feel attracted to someone else as long as we don't act on it, and that indirectly, it also harbors a bit of trust towards one another even by a little bit. It's not like we're the world's most beautiful beings or whatever, there will always be someone prettier. Besides, it's a bit freeing to just talk to your partner like that.)

Anyways, i guess this will turn some opinion away to another direction, but personally I still have trust in him. It's just shaking up a bit because it will be like temptation country for him, and so I posted this thread to find out other's people opinion if indeed it is rational for me to get worried and that it's not just some girly hormonal thing

You're quite wrong on that. If you go through my posts, though it doesn't seem like it, I was just trying to correct everyone with their assumptions to clear the situation. I guess you can call it a weakness but I just wanted to redeem myself or my guy a bit. But meh, whatever. I just didn't like it when a certain someone make it seem like it's a 100% truth that a guy will definitely cheat, acting snotty that he knows everything 100%.

Anyhow, I think it's important for me to point out that in the first place, I was already apparently worried and I know it is inevitable for everyone to agree. I wasn't fishing for good words to make myself feel better. I already know that I was worried.

At the last part of my first post, I said: "So whatdoyousaaay? Is it right for me to feel anxious or not? And is it the same for everyone? How do you deal with it?" As you can see, this just shows that I was just simply asking you guys as to what's your reaction or opinion to how I felt, just to reaffirm that it wasn't just some girly thing and that it was a logical thing to feel. Which I have proved to be true and fine to feel.

And by the title of the thread, this was for me to fish on what you guys often feel or do when you go on a vacation or your partner goes on vacation, and so far I did say I was enjoying the discussion since it showed me just how everything can be in black, gray, and white. There's no certainty- it depends on the person. All in all, I know how I feel and I am still worried. Again, I just didn't like it that people think I'm a dumb blonde who doesn't know what's right in front of her and that again, I was simply trying to get reactions.

Nah, been around here for a while. I lurked. I used to post a lot in PS though and some others.

is this the general theme of the thread? my wife and i go on separate vacations with our friends every few years and we've been together for 16 years now. most, if not all of our friends do the same. People who have to do 100% of activities with their spouse/partner are the all time worst.

Two,

"We met in Asia at a time where we were both exhausted through all the meaningless sex with strangers."

Hot!