Skipped al lot of the posts but if I'm on one of the single friends I 100% prefer that your boyfriend goes without you. Not because I want him to whore around and cheat on you, but because I actually want to spend time with him. Whereas if he is the only one bringing a girlfriend and if the girlfriend isn't close friends with the rest of the group I am just going to assume that the couple will be off spending time together. Iif they do stay with the group I'd have to really like the girlfriend to want her hanging around all the time and it would suck not being comfortable talking like guys do when it is just guys.

tldr; and I've only skimmed some replies - but

I went on a big camping trip (9 days) in Yellowstone with 4 other guys (none of them were married yet) when I was married about a year and a half and I didn't cheat/try to cheat/think about cheating. I've also spent weeks traveling for work with other dudes without cheating.

Asia is pretty ****ing big. Iraq, Israel, Azerbaijan, Russia, and Turkmenistan are part of Asia, as well.

People need to stop saying "Asian" and start specifying countries.

Well that's the thing homeboy. I did that because obv I don't want to identify where I'm at.

I would feel the same from what you have said. You say Korea.. He gona be on the piss in clubs and bars?

Sometimes it would be yea and sometimes the lads will be cool. Its up to bf to be considerate to you in this situation

Ignorance is bless, that ol chestnut eh

Agreed

FWIW OP - I have been with my GF near 2 years and despite my single male friends best efforts, declined to go on a "Lads" holiday this year. Its situational dependent on what your bf and his chums are like

Fine. None of those scenarios are the type of thing where people would expect you or other guys to cheat.

How would your wife feel if instead of Yellowstone camping your trip was to go to spring break?

What people seem to be missing here is that there are different kinds of trips. Going to Yellowstone is fine. Going to Burning Man is not. Going to SF because you want to go to a 49ers game is fine -- going to UCLA homecoming because some men's magazine rated that school to have the hottest girls and your single friends want to go is not acceptable. I could keep going with examples but I think people should be able to understand the difference.

Obviously the argument is going to be well even if you go on a trip with single guys where getting laid is the central purpose of the trip it doesn't mean you'll cheat. Maybe but if you're the type of guy that prioritizes doing something inappropriate over the feelings of your girlfriend then odds are you will. Any half decent guy will get his bro-time in by going on trips where it is more appropriate for the coupled / married guys to go and opt out of the trips where it is better for just the single guys to go.

Christ Henry, you are a condescending a-hole, aren't you? I hope to god you're not like this irl or I'm sure you wreak havic on everyone you come in contact with. You must be one of those special douchebags that thinks everyone loves them but secretly hate your guts because you think you're better than everyone else and know better than everyone else.

Trust me, you DO NOT know what's going on this relationship. You CANNOT know that from a few words on a page from only one side of the relationship. Is it possible that there are problems here? Sure. Is it more than 50% that this guy would cheat? Maybe. But, it is an absolute truth that there is no f'ing way that you can make a claim that is even remotely close to a 100% guarantee. That you make that claim tells me everything I need to know about the level of douche you really are.

Basically, STFU because you are spewing absolute nonsense.

OK, wait.

So, if you're attractive and possess social skills, it means you must cheat, will cheat ("100%"), are stupid not to cheat, or we are stupid to think such a person is not to cheat?

What does it matter, if you identify which Asian country you're from?

Trust me, not a single **** will be given either way. It's weird, though. As if your answer will change the responses.

Goodie,

Because you are too dumb to read a situation does not mean everyone else is. There is more than enough information here.

That wasn't what I said. I said if OP's BF is attractive and not socially awkward he will cheat. My claim is specific to this individual.

It does look like he's going to be banging many other Asian women, but we can't it's a 100% certainty. It's pretty close, but it's not a given, even for this person.

No there isn't. And anyone that actually lives in the real world and has actual relationships and doesn't spend their entire miserable and pathetic life on a poker forum would know that.

For Christ sake, let me explain this to you in language that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, even someone that is as caught up in being a douche as you are, can understand.

You have not found the secret sauce to predicting the future. No one has. The future and future actions are a secret and there is absolutely no absolutes. When you say 100% that this person is going to cheat, it shows that you actually think you're the one guy in the entire world that can successfully predict people's actions with 100% certainty. And not only that, but you're saying you can do it with only the information of a few posts on a poker forum by someone in this person's life and with absolutely no first hand interaction with the person you're predicting the actions of.

How in god's name do you not see how unbelievably ridiculous that is? You have an adult brain, right? Have you been checked out to see if it works properly?

Please try to use logic when thinking. It works so much better.

Hardball: Isn't that a silly hair to split, though? What drives you guys to angrily seize on stuff like that when everyone is generally on the same page?

OP started this topic laying out her concerns and got a lot of people saying she's correct to worry. That's not what she wanted, so she started highlighting all the reasons we (and therefore she) are overreacting, thus wasting everyone's time.

Meanwhile Goodie goes to Defcon 1 for some reason.

Feel free to read some of the dating threads where my accuracy on predicting what is going to happen is nearly perfect. Human beings are not complicated and if you think the OP has not given us a **** load of information without even realizing it then you lack experience.

tldr;

I'm not making any argument, just offering a data point. Do with it what you will.

Yeah, maybe a bit overboard. I just have no tolerance for people like Henry. His type that think that his experiences make him somehow qualified to make predictions about other people drive me insane. And then to be condescending and insulting to the OP who has been nothing but easy going and nice to everyone (even Henry after the insults) pisses me off.

lol what?

Nobody's angry. I'm disagreeing that this guy is definitely going to cheat, even though the trip does look very sketch from a relationship standpoint.

Do I always seem angry? I'm one of the calmest people I know.

You realize how many people live in countries, right? You won't be identifiable by giving us more info.

The only good thing about Henry posting itt is that it got OP to realize she sounded a bit like him in the beginning and has now moved closer to reality. Otherwise he's just terrible.

Good point. When she said she was Asian, they met in Asia, they live somewhere else in Asia, he has a thing for Asian girls, she probably meant she's Iraqi, they met in Israel, they live in Azerbaijan and he has a thing for Turkmen women. Since he's going to Korea, there's no chance he cheats due to the almost non-existant Turkmen population.

Disregard the part at the beginning of OP where "I'm a poker player from London" turns out to mean "I'm Asian and live in Asia." Were you living in Asia when he met you? Is he one of these Western guys who moves to SE Asia to play poker online, live cheaply, and have sex with local women? There are dozens of these in the travel forum here.

bottom line is, depending on the BF he's either going purposely to try to get laid, is open to getting laid, probably wont be trying to get laid but might make a mistake, or almost certainly wont be doing anything. I'm not going to try to pretend i have any insight into who he is based on the OP, whatever.

Reading OP's posts, I wonder whether the expat environment in which you're living isn't shaping your insecurities. 28 is plenty old enough to be moving on from sowing your wild oats and settling down, if that's what you want to do, or to not. And a 3 year old relationship ought to have the ground rules/trust sorted out. But maybe you're at an inflection point where you go from a serious relationship within a general mindset of a twenty-something singleton to a more settled worldview.

Op, consider if these roles were reversed with a boyfriend who has a girlfriend who is into black dudes and her and her girlfriends are planning a trip to Jamaica. Your bf is trying to slay some more Asian tang.

I think a ton of people are not realizing (it's not in the OP or not clear so understandable) that the OP and her boyfriend are IN Asia. He's not taking a trip from the US to a far off place and he already lives in close vicinity to hot Asian chicks. Maybe he's cheating now, sure, but if he's not, the Asian fetish doesn't really factor in to him cheating on this trip.