This is the most bizarre thread I ever scanned - woman trying to decide whether husband of friend should be reported to police - then paranormal activity??

Anyway, OP, you sound like a nice person, but fairly naive. You've only known these people a couple years - not a lifetime friendship. Don't be surprised the guy is not as he seems when you were in social settings. And of course the wife would tell her husband she was meeting you - and give him time to manipulate her.

All the "I'm a private person" and "i don't want to spend anymore energy on this" really sound like copouts. Sorry to be so direct, but this is a serious matter that you want to sweep it under the rug.

File a police report. Move away if you have to.