Which girl is this? Have you already banged ?

Yes, damn, keep it casual.

Way too much overthinking.

You are looking at ways to get ghosted.

We don't need to go 1000% into a relationship less than a week old.

She's allowed to not be at your beck and call and you aren't at hers either, slow down and quit getting into your own insecurity.

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Yeah, one date, ended in banging last week.

Can you expound on this? Other than overthinking things, which I know, that's what I do, where am I ****ing up? I feel like it's worth some level of thought, cause if it's correct that this girl is into casual banging but not so much dating, I'd rather not push for more dates. But I'm general that seems like a fairly normal line to take after a first date.

You assume the relationship is over before any concrete proof, or expect it to end.

I hope you aren't conveying that tone in texts to the girls.

That really is a turn off to them.

Girls say they want sensitive guys, but not right away and they don't really like genuine self depreciation.

Or a healthy minded one wouldn't.

Seems like this girl is keeping it casual, possibly cause her schedule is so busy due to work.

In any case, you don't know what her mindset is, you're already assuming there is nothing there to pursue, when you really don't have enough information.

Find out more before assuming she is into casual dating and you move on.

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A great mindset to have is A: you banged so she is into you. And she hasn’t ghosted you . So she wants to see you / bang again.

B: you already banged . So whatever else happens is extra. Think of it as free rolling.
Stop stressing . And bang someone else in the meantime if it helps

I'm aware of all this and I think I'm pretty decent at texting as if I'm supremely confident and always have options, even when that's not the case. I checked the history and it seems OK unless I'm entirely deaf to my own tone.

Thanks, this is the kind of line check I needed.

Agreed, unfortunately my mindset is more C: I've had one 2nd date since splitting up with my ex (so effectively one 2nd date in the past 7 years). And that 2nd date was with someone below my usual standards. And the previous month+ in particular has been filled with several first dates where I tried and failed to get 2nd's, with a few showing some pretty strong interest before dropping off. So I kind of need a win soon, not necessarily with this girl but she's the one I've got lined up for now, so it would be nice to break that streak with her. Until then I'm trying to process things rationally and fake the A and B mindset cause I know it helps.

+1 to eye you seem to be expecting the worst, but more importantly you are worried about that

Like he said, view it all as a freeroll, and if anything try to spin things positively

For all you know she's really into you and trying to play it cool or keep things casual for the time being. Already banged so she clearly likes you enough to do that at least

You literally made an account to shill some dating app? Nice try

I bet Ralph Chandler isn't even his real name either.

I somehow had part of this happen to me - except that she declined to meet at a place close to where she lives, and instead proposed a place a block away from where I live

Since dating is inherently more dangerous for women, I generally propose somewhere close-ish to where they live for safety reasons (unless it's really far away from me - then propose something in the middle).

Ofc, the date was meh and there was never a real sliver of a chance for a hookup or date #2

Tbf that is pretty weird coming up with a counter proposal

To me that guys schtick comes across as controlling.

Even if thats his plan, it looks douchey to announce it in such a way.



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agreed it's weird, but perhaps it's a screener to find guys like that, his finish is basically word for word the alpha male strategies thing a bunch of people i've seen on 2p2 talk about, it's pretty scary how much influence that youtube channel has

This seems backwards to me. It's more convenient for them for sure but any public place should be equally safe. Going to their area requires them to tell you generally where they live. I could be wrong about how it actually feels though.

Either way though this is not how you want to do it. I posted about this recently but ever since I started asking girls to come out my way I've been surprised how often they're willing to do so. I'm getting city girls to come out to the suburbs. Some taking $30 ubers to get here. I started going for this after meeting an hour+ date half way and the conversation went to a place near me she had visited recently, and when I gave her some **** for coming to my turf without texting me (joking) she let it slip that it was for a date, so wtf was I doing driving 40 mins to meet up in a spot where she wasn't coming back to my place when I could have had her drive the whole way and maybe taken her home after? But I figured I didn't mind driving to meet dates and going to the city is more fun than the few spots I have near me. Wrong though. Having them come here makes the date better in almost every way. Try it.

just get a boat ldo

I'm mostly meeting through Hinge, which has a field noting the neighborhood they live in via GPS (unless they're lying about their location). Considering I'm 100% WFH and fully vaccinated, I'm more than happy to get out of my neighborhood for something else, especially if it involves a bar or restaurant I've been meaning to check out.

I live in a big city and mostly avoid casting a net that reaches towards the suburbs anyway, in which it would require 90+ minutes on public transit or $30+ Uber each way (don't have a car, don't need a car, live 2 minutes walking from my office)

Dude in the screenshot going for the Patrick Bateman approach. Bold move, Cotton.

I'm visiting Panama in a few weeks, so I switched Tinder location to there, and...

JFC, I'm having more and more difficulty coming up with reasons to stay in this country.

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Need another line check with previously mentioned girl. Yes I'm overthinking things. She was supposed to come over today. She did not.

Recap: she implied her Tuesday was open as long as we finished early cause she worked at 5 am on Wednesday. I suggested she come over late afternoon and we stay in. She said "I can definitely do that." I said I would text her when I got out of work.

Fast forward to today, I texted her at noon saying I'd be home in a couple hours, suggested she come over around 3. She said "I can certainly do that!" 2:52 pm: "I don't think I can come over today, I rolled my ankle running earlier and it's still super swollen after icing it" I just reply "lame" and I assume we're done. Did I blow things up too early or was that reasonable?

Sigh...

While iffy, your response isn't going to be received well.

There's a difference being aloof and being an ahole.



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Yea should have said sucks hope you are ok and put the ball in her court for the future

Lame was a consensus top response to getting bailed on itt a few years ago, even when it wasn't released to a leg injury

The funny thing is that "that's lame..."/"so you're admitting you're lame *rickroll emoji*" with the right delivery and follow-up could be gold

Oops, I thought it was the opposite. I was remembering from more than a few years ago, maybe when it was first proposed, so I don't think our sample was significant yet.

Either way this girl was at best on the fence and it was stressing me out. On to the next.

I guess it wasn't a consensus. I'd just remembered "gay" was suggested, and "lame" was preferred, but not everyone was on board with lame either. etc