What city are you in and what's Jswipe like? I was on Jdate back in the day. The plus for me was my height and if you do find someone good, it'll be easier to keep their attention due to low volume. The negative, low volume, and the cliquiness of the Jewish community (relatively high chance of dates knowing previous dates etc).

One of my good friends in college used to bang everything and his reasoning was after graduating he'd basically be restricted to jdate so wanted to take up the options he had while he still had em

If there is any example of how current technology is NOT revolutionary or game changing it is these dating apps. Bumble is pretty much just a fancier Hot or Not (which was launched in 2000).

Jswipe sounds interesting. I've only known a couple Jewish people my entire life though. I went to high school with one. He appeared on an episode of American Gladiator with the nickname "The Hebrew Hammer" but then he suffered a knee injury in the first event. I also worked with a Jewish guy. Nice guy but he would come to your desk and talk nonstop. Whenever he was at someone's desk we would call that person on the phone in order to "save" them. I don't believe I've ever met a Jewish woman though.

Sounds like we're discussing a Highland Park in Oklahoma, not the Highland Park that Jerry Jones lives in nor the Highland Park that Michael Jordan lives in. Speaking of which, it looks like MJ's home is for sale. Not sure why you would only post 6 photos of a 32,0000 sf home but it does appear that he has some gaming tables there.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2...4902463_zpid/?

as long as safety first cant fault with guys who think likethat tbh

That's just the way Bumble is. They say "women message first", but really it's still on the guys to start the actual convo. I had a solid profile and received Hi, how are you?, or smiley like 80% of the time. I wouldn't hold it against them if they are otherwise a solid candidate.

Haven't been in that area in a long time, if ever.
Used to go up north to Sipangos and occasionally VZDs to hit on arty drunk college women back in the day.

Actually went to VZDs a couple years ago for snits and giggles cause we just came from a birthday party and my classmates from out of town wanted to stop and get a few drinks.

Didn't feel totally out of place, but the waitress was really snotty to me but nice to everyone else.

I was going to just write it off to racism but she was Indian.

In my experience, every once in a while, a woman who is hostile to me for no reason, is flirting with me.

Negging, i guess you say?

Kinda wanted to see if that was the case but the place got too loud and so we went down the street to a Henry Hudson's.

She wasn't that hot and kinda chubby, so I might have left some pussy on the table.

You just never know.



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As Fossilkid said, don't read anything into the lack of content in a women's opening message on Bumble. Women are not socially conditioned to put effort into initiating. If they messaged you at all, they are interested.

Well, if the hotter ones message a simple ‘hi’ and I respond, I would still say I’m a favourite not to hear from her again after that, unless I got lucky and caught her at a time when she’s both looking at the app, and willing to respond right at that time . Understandably, those types have so many messages you need to tick every box every step of the way to even get to a date, in addition to getting lucky with timing.

So really they’re only interested relative to the guys they swiped left on, but could be barely interested relative to the Adonises you’re competing with.

Yah, Bumble is a #s game. You will match with girls and a decent % won't send a message in time for a # of reasons. A girl might send a hi and you respond with a decent message and she won't respond for a # of reasons.

Best not to waste time wondering what could possibly be the reason for her not responding and focus your efforts instead on solid pics, profile and conversational skills.

lol nah just went to college at OU; folks have lived in Dallas for 20+ years

fair enough. What are your thoughts on people very slow to respond? eg. you have a short back and forth and you are the last person to speak/ask a question/etc and then they respond 3 days later or longer.

Nice! Well, I'm guessing your folks aren't on bumble so maybe I'll see them at the grocery store.

Probably means either they're already inundated with several good matches or that they don't take the app too seriously and just check every now and then.

Either way I'd expect a lower rate of success. I'd be more inclined to just throw out a Hail Mary "I'm not a fan of long back and forths on the app, let's grab a drink" much earlier in the process than normal.

Quick update: It's been a bit over 8 months and still going strong with the girl I met a couple days after my return to CDMX back in May. I believe she was girl #6 in my 6 dates in 3 days date-a-thon.

Neither of us like cold weather much ("cold" in this case being defined as lows of 45 in CDMX during the Winter) so we took a month vacation to Mazatlán for warm weather and beaches and had a blast.

She's an incredible girl in so many ways and I feel very lucky. We're both easy going and up for anything so we've yet to even have a minor dispute, much less a full blown fight. I feel like I finally found my passionate latina who brings all the good passion and none of the negative. It was also nice to share a month in the same small apartment. It was a little taste of what living together might be like and we seem have a lot of compatibility in this area.

I have had zero thoughts of leaving this girl and hope we are together the rest of our lives, but I have to admit I do miss the online dating grind a bit. It's fun traveling around LatAm not knowing who you're gonna meet and what adventures you'll get up to next.

Congratulations man. That's what I hope eventually happened at the end of all this slutting it up.

I had a really rough idea for a Grindr competitor in the style of bumble called bear hug where the bears match with honey and then they can dip their paws in the honey pot and you can put your account on hibernation and s*** like that. I'll never flesh it out but honestly there's money there

Congrats FK, that's great to hear.



Not even having a minor dispute strikes me as odd though. I mean after almost a year you'd like to know how the two of you can handle conflict. Can you at least say with confidence that her being "easy going" doesn't mean she's a pushover? Living together for a full month likely gave you a lot of insight to this, I'm sure.



Sorry if that sounds too critical - as you said, perhaps you're simply just very lucky. You've been playing the numbers game a long time, you deserve this.



In any event, enjoy the good life!

Agree with Fossil to ask her out in your next message, but I wouldn't say "I'm not a big fan of __" (just sounds too negative imo, but obv use your own judgement). Be sure to state a specific place and a specific time. And if she doesn't respond, don't sweat it.

Thanks fellas!

PI, it's a good question. She's not a pushover per se although she tends to defer to me on what we're gonna do that day about 80% of the time although I encourage her to speak up. She's pretty opinionated and defends her positions well, it's just that our values tend to line up pretty well and if we differ, then we do a good job respecting where the other person is coming from.

Luckily I handle conflict irl much better than online and nothing bothers me too much except if someone is intentionally trying to irritate me. I find poker variance 50x more frustrating than irl stuff although I tend to surround myself with very like minded people who are a good fit personality wise, so that probably helps. I think it's a combo of us both being adept at handling conflict while also just liking each other a lot on a personal level.

I do wonder a bit if it's an issue that there's been literally 0 disputes. She's probably got the highest emotional intelligence/maturity of any girl I've met so that's a big part of it.

My wife and I very rarely fight and we've been together almost 15 years

so no I don't think it's an issue

I've run really bad in the two relationships i had that I would consider serious. They were both multi year things and basically no issues popped up until after living together for several months.

I've run far below my EV line though, not at all trying to use that to forecast or project but in my own sample it's not until living together for at least a few months do those issues arise.

My biggest struggle is being able to be at home while she's there too and still do my own thing without coming off as cold or indifferent. It's easy for me to give full attention to a girl when spending a weekend with her but I just need time where I don't have to interact with anyone and that can give off a bad vibe. It's far more than that, but that's the most visceral part of it, that transition from being a guest or hosting a guest to just day to day living can bring out some incompatibilities you didn't know were there before.

Good luck fk, sounds like you're real happy

This all resonates. I've become so independent that while I can enjoy an evening with a girl at my place, in the morning sometimes I'm just really ready for her to leave. Too ready. As I got older I thought I'd be able to better envisage living with someone and settling down but if anything the reverse is true. it's doubtful to me at this point whether I'll be able to find the 'forever' girl just down to my own requirements in life, but this isn't necessarily bad (although I'll probably get to 40 and feel different when I have a lot fewer dating options. Lol).

I'm going through that is a MAJOR way right now. Sometimes I feel like I can't do my own thing even when I'm doing it in the house. For example, I have a home office and I feel guilty if I go into the office and work while she is watching TV. Doing this last night kind of bought things to a head.

Good to know, thanks! And congrats on the relationship

Thanks!

You guys raise a solid point about independence and compatibility in a relationship.

I've been an online poker pro for almost 15 years and have seen how different women react to it in relationships.

I had a 2-year relationship w/a girl in Montreal that was incredible while we were only seeing other sparingly, and quickly fell apart once we moved in together. I always felt like she never fully understood online poker. If your boyfriend is going to work from 9 to 6, then you expect not to see him and know it's part of the routine. If I wanted to play 45 hours of poker, then some of that time might be periods when she's at home, but I always felt like she resented whenever I'd play poker and thought I was being "selfish" by not spending that time with her.

I think the key is finding a girl that is also independent and also values her alone time to recharge. I've involved my girlfriend a lot more in the process this time around to help her understand. Things like game quality being better at certain times of the day so I need to play at those times. My desire to play a normal 30-45 hour a week schedule. The need to play a certain # of hours some weeks to chase promotions. She understands and gives me space.

During the month in Mazatlán I was worried that we would just be exploring the city or hanging out in the apartment the whole time, but I also wanted to play 20-25 hours a week of poker. I was happy to find out that I was able to find a nice balance between work/exploring the city/spending time with her. She reads a ton of books and has projects of her own (doing an online English program, working on a Spanish language teaching website, etc.). The important thing is that she always wants and needs her alone time to recharge. This is critical for me b/c now I can feel like we can be away from each other doing our own thing and I don't have to feel guilty about it. We don't have to be hanging on each other 24/7.

BTW, dating a girl who speaks another language is incredible.

Amazingly, in the 7 months we'd been together before Mazatlán, we'd never once spoken English outside a word or two, but in Mazatlán I forced her to speak more. I found out that I freakin' love her accent and she's so adorable in English. It's honestly like being with a different girl b/c her personality changes a lot.

Eventually, we made a game out of it. She would have an English and Spanish version and I had an English/Spanish/French version. Eventually we took it to the bedroom and she realized that in English I would talk way more dirty to her "I'm gonna pound the **** out of you" and things like that, so we found the sex was way different depending on the mood set by the language we were speaking. I find that this all helps keep things fresh and exciting.

I don't like to wear glasses, but do occasionally to movies and sporting events. So I roleplayed that when I wear glasses I'm the French version of myself. The French fossil is extremely shy with women, doesn't know how to touch/kiss them, and wanted to maintain his virginity until marriage. She got an absolute kick out of this and was a fun change from our normal routine. Sad to say, she eventually "raped" French fossil and he's no longer a virgin.

Hopefully this doesn't all sound completely insane. My overall point is that it's super fun dating girls from other countries, especially who speak different languages, b/c you're always learning new things about each other's cultures and evolving as your mastery of each language grows.