Oh I wouldn't worry about it. I had an amazing first date a while back that was 100% going to be a relationship of at least several months. We were making out in my car and the radio was playing songs that seemed embarrassingly appropriate, with lyrics talking about the first blossoming of love or whatever. Luckily, the situation quickly deteriorated and we mutually stopped contacting each other after 4 dates.

So you'll be fine.

Yeah this.

I can't even tell you how many internet first dates I've had that have led to making out at the very least. That's the thing about internet dating. If you have built any rapport up in the week or so of chatting before the first date then usually at least going in for a kiss or some making out is pretty common. Yeah it's your first time meeting in person but a lot of times you will have logged several hours of chatting/talking before you have actually met. This always seems to make the atmosphere a lot less tense and feels like going out with someone you've been already dating for awhile and not really a first date.

I said I post the messages so here they are: (Nothing too entertaining, so feel free to completely skip this post)

-Heyiya there Your Profile pop up so i read it and thought i say hey so hey , so a little about me i am 31 years old soon to be 32 years old orginally from south africa 1997 moved to Canada luv all animals luv being at the beach summer times outdoors and am just a very happy healthy person i keep it short if ya reply i talk more cheeriozs


-Hey there,

How are you? How was your weekend?

I saw your profile and would love to hear more. If you're up for chatting, drop me a line.

Take Care,
Sonia



-Happy Monday! How are you? Were you able to bury yourself out of the snow after that crazy storm? I know, a lot of questions for a Monday morning but I never really know what to say in these initial messages. Anyways, hope you're having a good day!

Beth


-Hi, I found you!!!!! How're you??? :OD



-I love wine



-Hi



-Hi
I grew up near Ottawa too.... Okay it was a 45 minute drive but now that the 416 is finally four lanes it could be a faster drive. Lol
Can you guess my "city"?
Where were you from originally?


-Hello analfister5, xxxxxxxx has expressed interest in you! (This is a flirt option for women)

-Hey, how's it going? How's pof treating you?

Laurie

-Hi,
How is your Monday so far?
I enjoyed reading your profile. Would love to chat.

Yana

-your picture of the gloved hand is hilarious lol...I'm actually doing a urology rotation right now so it's ironic I suppose. *try a shot with the gloved hand and just the first finger pointed lol


-2/11/2013 6:06:11 PM
Hey there,
Hows it going?!

And from the same person
2/11/2013 9:37:33 PM
I know how hospitals can consume your life... hard to meet peope the 'regular' way!
It was nice to come across your profile...I just wanted to say hi!

-I have to apologize if I'm the 12 millionth person to ask, but are you actually a proctologist? And if so, has anyone arrived at your door with a Fusilli Jerry lodged in themselves???

-Really? Analfister?


-I don't normally message people, but you caught me eye, so I thought I would send a little note. I went to school for Music (singing) and Theatre and find myself now living downtown Toronto.

-2/12/2013 7:58:47 AM
Hi,

Nice profile. What brings you to POF? any luck?

What type of hobbies/interests do you have?

- Valerie
[and from the same person]

2/12/2013 9:52:01 PM
Hey!

I like your headline....very funny and creative!

What brings you to POF? Had any luck so far?

Do you live / work downtown?



-I'm also from Ottawa. Do you miss it at all?

So women send the same ****ty messages they say they won't respond to?

**** gets annoying doesn't it? "Don't send me a hey, or what's up, or hi sexy or I won't respond. Put some thought into it." Same girl sends message to guy "Hey what's up?" I'm convinced a big chunk of the girls are on there only for a self esteem boost. One girl flat out told me that once, cracked me up.

boohoo girls are interested in me

I got "flirted" with on the site that I'm on (think FB's "poke" - I think with a canned message to go with it). What's the play? In the past I've said something like "O hey there. **comment on profile** I like that too."

Plus the ones who take the time to say that are usually the ones with nothing unique or interesting in their profiles that you could possibly "put thought into" talking about.

I just got a think that says OKC is doing read receipts for A-List members, I don't know how to see them, though? This isn't a big deal really anyways but if they're giving it to me I might as well know how to use it.

http://www.okcupid.com/upgrade?cf=announcement

Clicking on it just takes me to sent messages, which looks the same, shows the date I sent it on right.

What kind of messages do you want to receive from girls? I like when they sent really short messages...I'm not going to respond based on the content of the message, I'm going to respond based on their pics and profile, so why waste either of our time?

I hate when I get really long messages from girls telling me their life story, and straining to find everything in my profile that they have in common with me. The girls who send these messages are usually unattractive and/or older than me. Early on, I responded to these messages just because they made me feel guilty. But I always got an even longer response, and it was too much work to respond to a girl I had no intention of going out with. So now I just ignore them, but still feel guilty about it.

I've gotten a couple decent messages in the past, it makes it much more likely I will respond if they put some kind of effort into the message. A "Hey " will not get a response from me even if their profile/pics are awesome simply out of principle.
Short ones can be very good, I got a "Hey, I see you like beer and ping pong, but would about beer pong?"

Her profile was okay and her photos were bleh, but I liked the message so I responded and met her. Turns out she was much hotter than her photos suggested, but her personality was lacking.

You shouldn't feel guilty - I mean, that's the game, isn't it? You send messages, sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. Even if rejection stings a little, if you're not interested in someone then responding just puts off the rejection until later and wastes both of your time.

Match are such bullsh*t artists. I let my subscription end 3 days ago and since then they claim that I have had 53 profile views, been favourited 12 times and emailed by 7 different girls. There is no chance that anymore than a fraction of that is true, but I bet this scam convinces many gullible people to re-subscribe.

This might actually be true, but very ephemeral. Match does a lot of things that manipulate your visibility on the site based on your activity. It would make total sense to me that they would max out your visibility (in terms of showing you in other girls' matches) when they are trying to get you to re-sign to the site.

This is one of the reasons that I usually only message girls on Match who contact me first in some way; way too many of the girls they match you with are dead profiles.

I'm pretty ambivalent about what I should be doing for Valentine's tomorrow with respect to the girl I've now been on 4 dates with. (Went to dinner with her yesterday, but she we extremely jet-lagged from just getting back from Europe.) We've only seen each other once a week so far, haven't talked about being exclusive, and are both still on the dating sites. It seems like we've been out enough that I have to acknowledge it, but I don't want to seem overly clingy or presumptuous by making some dramatic gesture.

What would a girl expect at this point? We haven't made any plans to see each other, and it's not like I could surprise her, since I don't exactly know her home or work address.

Nick,

How many times have you had sex with her?

Only on our 2nd date.

nick,

the play is to plan your dates so you've gone out with her either less than 4 or more than 5 times before valentine's day so you don't get caught in the awkward middle ground.

Nick,

Wait, you had sex w/ her on your second date, then went out on two more dates without having sex? What's that about?

Anyway, if it's the day before Valentine's Day and you haven't made any plans with a girl you see ~once a week, no reason for you to worry about it at all. IMO you certainly don't want to acknowledge it at all at this point, all it can do is make her feel weird about seeing you next time after banging whoever she's going out w/ on V-day.

uh, what? i didn't know the "first date on a tuesday/no sex, second date on a saturday/sex, third date on a wednesday/no sex" made me such a freak and a weird dude

honestly i can't remember the last time i had a date that lead to sex on a night where i had to go into work the following morning, at least while in the initial dating stage

So I'm going to long toss with this girl Saturday night. After that we're going to my place and I'm going to try to have sex with her.

Wait, so long toss and sex aren't the same thing?

Successful long toss session is better than sex :-)

Kk,

What you describe does not sound weird, especially since you're likely to have a fourth date on the weekend in that scenario.

In his scenario they are seeing each other once a week and now have gone two weeks in a row without sex after banging on date two. Yes, I think that's unusual.

NICK

DO NOT DO VALEnTINES