Maybe it's different in the UK, but it's surprising to me that he only found 2 women on okcupid that he likes.

I don't think it's too long by word count, but you say "anyway" and "obviously" twice when they aren't needed.

Also your writing style doesn't really match your looks which may through some women off a bit. Less smiley faces and less exclamation points imo.

I haven't joined match but if you did join is there a way to tell if they are a member of not--can you filter those out? If not, I'm never joining.

No, on Match it's impossible to tell whether they are members or not, but it's possible to make an assumption. I agree it's terrible in that respect, and even if you get their basic subscription for ~£10pm, you still don't have access to certain features without paying more such as seeing whether your messages have been read.

However, it's by far the biggest site for my age range in UK. To put it into context, if i filter 29-42; <30 miles; online last week; no children; Slim/athletic i get 592 results - OKcupid returned 93.

Yeah but how many of those 500+ are real, and active...

Well, "online last week" makes them active, and for that age range i would guess most are real.

Ahhh, i see - wow there is a sick correlation between responses and looks.... the green ones

So match does this so it can get good looking people to join so it looks great from outside potential users but if i was an actual user, it would piss me off to no end. Seems weird that they wouldn't give you a tool to actually see who pays for their service. I don't see the upside in not offering that feature for them. You already bought their service, at least make it easy to find matches and not waste your time with people who don't have a real account. I'd be really pissed off as a paying user.

So you are saying you don't understand why match would want to hide the fact that their best looking people won't get your message?

It just sounds "cheesy" and like you're trying too hard. I had the same problem because there aren't that many people in my area either. I tried to ration my messages so that I didn't have as much attention as I was ever going to get all in one go and then run out of women.

I took a break from it and when I came back I was more indiscriminate which seems to have been better. Partly because you are going to get more joy from the higher volume and partly because I cared less.

For what it's worth, I don't think your message is too long at all, but the content / word ratio is bad. All you have said is "I like chocolate cake. What other cake do you like? Nice profile, tell me more". But you've managed to sound a bit creepy and I know creepy.

I live in the biggest city within like 70Kms of me. It's 5:30PM.

Search online now, age 23-38 with pics, within 50Kms = 9 women.

Not a great time to search but you get the idea.

3 of them are overweight, which I say as someone who doesn't mind a few extra pounds. 1 of them looks like a transexual. Literally.



Do you ask these women to do this?

Girl openers are almost always terrible.

Hi, want to chat?

Yeah, i joined match before i really looked at POF, and i only got alerted to OKC when i posted here.

It's good in some respects - it "feels" like a dating site where people are serious about dating, rather than POF/OKC which just feels like it's full of window shoppers, and to back that up i have gotten lots more people mailing, adding to favourites or winking at me on match than the other two sites, which is somewhat counter-intuitive considering they are free, and somewhat backs up my theory that people are serous as they are obviously subscribers.

Oh, and i meant to mention this earlier about my messages "lacking confidence" - that is mainly due to this blog i read before i started messaging girls, where it advised being more self-effacing (Rule 5).

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/on...first-message/

Kind of. She showed me a drawing of an elephant she did and I showed her that and another sketch of me. Then on the walk back to her place we somehow got into a game of dares. Mine was lame. I told her to bang on a closed Starbucks door. When we got back to hers, her dare was for me to strip down and strike a pose (pro tip for those of you who might not be able to pick up on little nuances: when this happens, it's a subtle sign that the girl wants to **** you). So I told her she had to draw me as I lounged lackadaisically on her couch.

Yeah that's real subtle lol

ok 2+2, how's this?

Profile:

My message:

I wouldn't have put the "we're not all like that, honest" before the bank account joke. Also, you don't have to put Wow before sorry.

Also wtf is any chance of a taste? That just sounds stupid. I would have just said, how is your protein bar experiment going? Although, that seems pretty damn stupid to comment about.

Hey XXXX

I'm Richard.

Sorry about your lame experience being duped.

While I have you on the hook, I'm contacting you about a bank account holding I have in Nigeria for $XXXX...........

So how is your protein bar experiment going? (honestly I hate this more than anything)--I'd rather comment about fitness or your fitness and what else she does with respect to being healthy.

Stop with all the exclamation points. The joke is corny and bad but w/e.

Seems decent imo

wu,

Very nice TR. Where was pic with date 2 taken? Looks like a chill bar.

Didn't see the "Any chance of a taste?!" line. That sounds really, really creepy and I doubt you'll hear back due to those five words alone.

I'm no expert by the way but the protein bar thing seems tacked on just to say anything. Try and say something to provoke a response based on your own experience, rather than "any chance of taste?". Read it back - do you think, that she'll think you're actually interested?

Wouldn't something like this be better:

"I'm trying to bulk up a bit more at the moment and need some recipes for some high protein blah blah..."

"I've had protein snacks before and they aren't very nice. What do you do to blah blah blah..."

"I've tired making blah blah but it didn't turn out too well blah blah"

That's if you want to go with the protein thing.

well i haven't sent the message yet - hence why i posted it here

yeah when i read it back again i thought about getting rid of some of the exclamation points, but i thought w/e i'll see what the consensus is.

Also agree the protein bar thing is a bit meh, but then she wrote 25% of her profile is about it so what else is there?

better?

Props to you Elrazor for being so willing to post your thoughts/messages here for feedback. :thumbup:

yikes elrazor, those are all cringeworthy.

Well, cmon then, post what message you would send - you have the same information i have to work with!

Cheers loK - When i turned up at 2+2 all those years ago i was pretty awful at PLO and now i make videos for Cardrunners, so you can't underestimate the usefulness of the information dispatched here

ignore the protein thing, it's boring.

The problem I have with your 2 statements is you start with the duping, you apologize twice and then you start the duping joke right after.

You can ask things not in her profile--like what does she do or what else does she like. If her topic in her profile is boring as ****, which I assume the protein bar stuff is, move on to something else. Fitness is much more interesting than her protein bar intake.