Will be interesting to see what direction this troll goes from here.

Finally reaching end of rope/lack of last tiny hope for change + lack of compatibility/increased financial stability.

Middle one is probably biggest, followed by one, followed by three.

You are making assumptions that the two divorces were my idea.

Both marriages came to memorable ends.

While laying in bed, the first wife turned to me, told me she had called my mother to come pick me up, and my mother would be there the next day. My wife was tired of being dirt poor and fell for the idea of the next door neighbor making her more financially well off. She divorced me, married him, and did get a little better financially. Instead of being dirt poor, she became simply poor.

The second wife, after depositing my paycheck into her account, came home and told me that she had used the money on a divorce attorney and wanted my daughters and me gone immediately. She too believed things another guy had told her. In this case, it was her son who lied when he told her that I said I loved the first wife more than I loved his mother. There was also a job loss and financial troubles when the new job didn't pay as much as the job it replaced.

But again, neither divorce was my idea.

I can't get over 1-2 times a month at 30. Haha

Surely your wife sees you not wearing your wedding ring on business trips as some sort of red flag?

She must already suspect something

Am I the only one here that gets warned regularly by my wife not to cheat?

Like "dont you dare cheat on me"

The mrs likes to keep it top of mind for me not to cheat

wtf, so you are saying don't tell the truth if you messed up and not let him/her make an informed decision on if they want to stay?

I find it hard to believe that there weren't some fairly large warning signs before this happened (twice). You can tell when things are getting bad/falling apart.

Yeah, there is some big time rationalizing going on in this thread. I will lie to you to PROTECT YOU!! lol

Whether or not there were warning signs has nothing to do with that particular part of the vows. I wanted both my marriages to be until death do you part, but I think the wives wanted it to be my death.

Getting back to the subject at hand, marriage vows do deal with sex in that you each promise to be faithful to each other which is implicitly understood to mean you only have sex with each other. It doesn't mean you will have sex as much as one partner wants it.

FYE

Sorry about your first two marriages, I feel like a dick now. Anyway I just think you're getting a bit caught up on the wording of the vows. In some vows, the wife still promises to 'obey' her husband, but I don't think people take that literally. In general though, it seems like having a healthy sex life is considered an important part of a marriage, and one side deciding to unilaterally curtail that is a sort of violation of an implicit understanding between husband and wife, even if it isn't explicitly stated. Does it justify cheating? That's not a question I can answer for anyone else.

The first two ceremonies had that word in there, but the last one didn't. Not that I tried to get the first two to obey. They weren't puppies although they turned into bitches.

Grunching mostly here. In case it hasn't been mentioned, or you haven't discovered this yet, lust isn't your problem here. Sex is great and all, but even sex with a hot model is just sex. It's in your head. Tiger sexed up everything that moved and wasn't satisfied. You won't be either. Read. Play golf. Work on your marriage, and if it won't work, move on and make sure to see your kids.

So why exactly did you marry her after she gained her weight in college?

@op

you need to make it more clear to your wife that she needs to put more effort into her appearance and your sex life.

whatever you choose to do with the waitress if your choice, but it's not unreasonable to expect your spouse to stay reasonably fit and sexually active if you do your part in maintaining your own health and providing for her needs.

what you do regarding the bartender or whatever is sort of besides the point. i think a lot of the "i didn't sleep around a lot when younger bla bla" is trying to rationalize or soften the reality that your wife is no longer attractive to you and not concerned with your sexual needs.

if your wife was still a babe and your sex life was healthy presumably these thoughts wouldn't even cross your mind.

Yeah. Women right!

OP.

I got married young and massively regretted not sleeping around. Cheated, it sucked, got divorced.

Now I'm 32, well off, having lots of sex but looking for a LTR to settle down with and have kids.

So, skip the cheating and just break up with your wife. The kids will be fine if you put some effort in

Laundry, cooking and cleaning aren't really full time jobs unless you're doing it all by hand.

I'm not entirely sure of this. Don't all men kind of lose interest in having sex with their wives after a while, regardless of their attractiveness? Seems like a pretty well established pattern.

Also, Rugby, you don't have kids though, right? It seems a bit easy to say 'the kids will be fine' if you don't have the experience of going through a divorce yourself.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...-for-children/

Cliff's. Keep being a good dad, don't beat up your wife and avoid substance abuse... You do all those things and the divorce won't matter

My dad struck out swinging.

This plus 5% chance of a tarp makes this a fairly easy decision.

5% chance of what exactly? That she's a hooker? Has a penis? Or the wife is trying to trap him? Both 2 and 3 seem like .1% possibilities.

I'd think the higher chance of the tarp would be from the waitress. OP ****ed up and used his phone to text her when he should have used his hotel room phone to call her.

Correct play (assuming he wanted to get laid), would be call her and make whatever arrangements, don't tell her his last name, then throw away her number before he goes back home so his wife doesn't find it and so he wouldn't be tempted to start some silly sexting relationship.

Some quick thoughts...

1.) If the waitress is a solid 9/10 and you're a 6/10, that's a trap, every time. She's looking to either rob/extort you for something other than a good time. I ran a restaurant attached to a hotel in college, and saw it many of times. If you're cool with paying to play then go for it. But just keep in mind, it's going to cost you.

2.) Fix YOU, before you complain about the wife. Set a positive example, and give her a chance to follow your lead. Stop being a passive pussy and crying about the **** that you didn't get to do, and create a situation where you can thrive. Step one is getting your fat ass in shape. We have a whole sub forum dedicated to that ****. Whether you fix your current relationship or end it, it will help you in the long run.

3.) Realize that kids, house work, etc are big sex drive killers. Help out with that ****. Do the little things that earn big points, but don't really bother you. For me, it's throwing a load of laundry in the washer or dryer from time to time. I don't even fold that ****. Just the act of taking it down to the basement and washing it is recognized. Pick something that she doesn't like to do, that you don't mind doing (and don't already do) and do it.

4.) Figure out what she wants. Talk to her. Listen.


Fix your marriage. You guys haven't even hit the dirty 30's yet. Now is the time to fix your marriage and tune up the machine before it hits.