Since OP wants to go down the vindictive path and he's got access to her email, why not send him an email through her email saying 'I don't want to mess up your family anymore, please never contact me again, it's over, this is goodbye' and then OP should dump her without mentioning the affair at all.

So you would not hit someone who physically hit you?

+1000 hitting them back never has a positive expectation. People do it because they are insecure and think that they need to 'be a man' or 'stand up for themselves' or some other BS. Life isn't some sort of primal fight for survival, grow up.

This is just not necessarily true. I'm not saying you HAVE to fight back, that's up to the individual, but your generalization is not true for all people. Some people would be better off walking away, and some would be better off fighting back, and it's also situation dependent.

1) I would do my damnedest to walk away.
2) Who the **** would ever hit me?

That depends on if I have to fight back to prevent me being hospitalized, in that case yes, fight back, if your reasoning for punching them back is because they hit you then no there are better ways to deal with the situation.

1) You have zero self respect, and shouldn't be afraid to defend yourself.
2) You don't get to choose things like that.

Walking away from a fistfight is now the "zero self respect" option?

Thread delivers.

Again, this is not necessarily true.

I don't know. There must be at least some individuals who you've pissed off at some point. Sometimes even complete strangers. World is full of idiot punks who can't handle drinking.

Such as?

1) I don't want to hit anyone.
2) Yeah, I do.

Maybe the OP just has a small peen and never satisfied her. Could have been why she never liked it in the back seat with him like she does with the new guy.

comment added to get the thread off the fist fighting crap and back to good ole OOT standard.

Walking away, restraining assailant, basically anything that doesn't involve elevating the situation. Sure if you're in a gang and you have a rep to uphold bash his brains out or something. But normal people don't have that type of pressure on their heads and fighting back just ends in bad, messy situations.

Agree with a poster a while back. You guys aren't married, tell her you are leaving and why. Leave the rest of the stuff alone. You don't know this dude or his wife, leave them alone. If you confront this guy I hope he mentally F's you over. Yeah biatch, how does my **** taste? Your gf laughed when I was bending her over.

Nothing good comes from confronting him, or his wife. Its none of your business.

All that being said, I love a good drama bomb, so do as you please.

I don't beef with people I care about because I care about them.

I don't beef with people I don't care about because I don't care about them.

1) Fair enough. Good luck getting ran over in your life.
2) No you don't. For example, if I decided I wanted to hit you, I'm going to hit you.

Actually, TWO sets of flowers- one to gf, one set (with ex-'s name) to wife.

Use a florist in a different town and pay cash.

It's pretty easy to not surround yourself with people who are likely to hit you.

Regarding telling the wife, it's like getting your own satisfaction while vaguely doing 'the right thing'. If you can do it without really involving yourself, I don't see why you wouldn't. Send her a letter (make sure it looks like it could be from a friend or something), or facebook her and send her a message, or give her a call. Make that the last contact with the wife. If you can't get any of this contact info easily, forget it. If the husband is good enough to intercept the letter, forget it (you shouldn't even know whether he does).

I'm wondering whether people who are against telling the wife would still be against it if it could be done by pressing a magic button (ie all the effort/drama is removed).

People are pretty universally polite and kind to me. I do what I want and haven't found myself in any kind of physical confrontation since high school.

If you decided to hit me, you'd be that crazy ******* who decided to hit me. If I hit you back I'd be the moron who decided getting in a fight with a crazy ******* was a good idea. I'm not going to punch the crazy ******* out of you.

- don't tell the wife, there's no upside and plenty of downside risk
- book a weekend trip with friends to a fun place to let the healing begin (vegas)
- confront the gf right before you leave. tell her you know about the cheating, but you don't want explanations, excuses, or apologies. just tell her to be gone by the tmie you come back
- do not post anything on fb/twitter

The wife will find out. He's doing it while she sleeps ffs, I mean he's going to get caught unless she's one of those ultra deep sleepers who wouldn't wake up in a nuclear explosion.

All I'm saying is you dont have control over someone else's actions.

Someone at wallmart could walk up to you for no reason and stick you in the jaw. Therefore, you do not have control over the origional #2.

Think about how unlikely this situation is.

And how would hitting crazy walmart person back be the best solution?

Not telling the wife is like if you saw teens beating up a homeless guy and you couldn't call 911.

There is absolutely no upside to getting involved, but I would still do it because it's the "right" thing to do.