Here is a hypothetical example (to point number 2):

Buddy of mine is broke. Fallen on some tough times. He needs to get back home to see his parents because of an unfortunate medical situation. He books the cheapest possible fare, and it's an airport 1.5 hours away. He's not thinking, just buys a ticket he can afford. Some time close to his flight departure, he starts calling around looking for a ride. He gets to me and says "man, this is really annoying but I booked this flight and it's at X airport which you know is really far away - you know money is tight with me and I was wondering if you could give me a ride there?"

My answer would depend on a variety of factors, but if this were one of my close friends, I'd try to make the time to help, and happily take him there as a favor. Not only would I be helping him save additional transport costs to the airport, but we would have a long car ride together to talk about the stress of his family situation.

Am I really all that generous? I don't think so, and I believe a lot of people would behave in the same manner as I described. And while the situation above is a "minority" occurrence, it's not particularly far fetched imo.

No. People will always do it even though they would prefer not to. If they can think of a good excuse they might use that but no one who doesn't have issues will just say no outright. You do it and then you start weeding these people out of your life because it isn't about being asked for a ride to the airport specifically but that being asked for a ride shows a troubling mentality that will surface again and again.

I was going to post something about this - it's a solid point. People do have trouble saying no to friends, and it can cause resentment. I'm with you - don't ask unless it's absolutely necessary and merited (sometimes it really is).

But I also think you're a bit extreme here (especially to the bolded above) - I don't know what your friendships are like, but with my close friends, if they ask for a favor and I say no it's all good and they get it (vice versa as well). This is because, at least with my closer friends, we have a pretty healthy respect for one another and comfort level, so feel totally fine saying no.

Also, not sure how old you are, but it's pretty easy to understand if you ask your buddy for a favor and he's like "would love to but I gotta take my kids to this thing". I'm older (in my 30s) so most of my friends have very real, discrete responsibilities. So they don't have to "invent" excuses - they either have time to help out, or they do not have time.

I suppose if you're in your early 20s (as is your whole cohort), and you ask someone for a favor, you might get resentful because 20 somethings don't have a whole lot to do so you'd think "wtf, why can't they help me out?"

This is why its so ****ing hard to argue on the internet. You have to restate your entire position every single time. My very first post:

Basically I don't think its a magic scenario where I can save a non-trivial amount of money for not much sacrifice on a family/friend's part. In that case I don't have a problem asking for a ride to the airport or in the reverse situation offering to drive them to the airport - especially when I know both situations are going to come up roughly equally as often.

Edit: It might actually be a "magic" scenario for Henry since his value of money is significantly different than the average persons.

Henry, assuming I had anything better to do, such as taking a nap, I would say no to a friend who asked me to chaffeur him to the airport without a reasonably good reason. And this alone means I have issues? I mean, that might be accurate, but I don't think having a little backbone is evidence of that.

So if a friend asked you for a ride to the airport you would do it anyway? Even though you think it is inconsiderate and idiotic? What's wrong with saying no?

Lol, this. I can't think of a single good friend that I wouldn't be comfortable calling out for being a cheap ass when they asked me for a favour that I didn't think was reasoanble.

I'd say both you and Henry are on the extreme ends of this. I'm personally fine with saying "no" to whomever (close friend, casual friend), but many, many people will just say "yes" and then feel resentful afterwards. These people do tend to suck at life though, fwiw.

Family or not, if this happened to me, these people would be sitting at the airport waiting for me for a long time.

The point is that it is always a trivial amount of money. Very worst case scenario you are paying $0.60 a mile. Given your friend has to drive both ways and factoring in gas you are basically valuing their time at less than $10/hr.

It has been at least eight or nine years since anyone has asked but I would say yes.

Henry - it occurs to me you're coming at this from a very personal POV - basically, it seems you can't say "no" to someone for a favor, so you're vehemently arguing the POV that people should never ask in the first place (because you can't say "no" and don't want to be unfairly inconvenienced).

Why is it that you can't say "no"? Seems really strange. As jjshabado pointed out, good friends call each other out on BS all the time.

You say yes because they have asked for your help and it is the nice thing to do. That doesn't change the fact that nobody actually wants to do this. No one is ever glad you asked them to. Nobody actually enjoys taking random trips to the airport.

That people are comfortable asking for rides and also comfortable telling people to **** off just shows that people who hold this position have no principle other than their own self-interest in how they decided on what is correct.

True story(ies) -- I have enjoyed both picking up my friends from the airport, and taking them there.

Haha, wow.

My only response is to note that you hold (imo) quite a unique POV w/r/t the drivers and nature of friendship. I can respect that.

I mean, me too. I especially don't mind picking people up because I get to hear about their vacation.

Lol, and so it comes down to once again Henry having no idea what friendship actually means.

More accurately. It comes to not being someone who bases my world view on my self-interest in justifying being cheap.

I like exploring Henry's world view.

So let's say you live next to your best friend. For each of you getting to the airport on your own costs $500. Taking the other person to the airport costs $100.

On January 1st you each book a non-overlapping holiday for that year.

Henry - would you agree that it makes sense for these two people to offer to take each other to the airport? Both people end up saving $400.

That is ****'en ******ed.

Lol. Nice dodge. Ok, so let's say it costs $300. And you each save $200 and it takes an extra 4 hours out of your life.

It is still stupid. We have already determined that at the most you are saving $10 for every hour you inconvenience your friend. If you can't keep your examples to the real world then you don't have a point. That you have gone into fantasy expenses I assume means that we are done here.

Lol, when did we determine $10/hour. Just because you write it doesn't make it true.

I love you Henry.

Hint: Not everyone lives within walking distance of a rental car place. So there's cost of getting there. And $40-$50/day for a one way trip to an airport isn't realistic either.

loljj

The argument, like all the others, is fundamentally over exploitation -- whether it's okay to put people out when it's to your advantage to do it. You guys are appealing to The Meaning of Friendship to justify it, and the others are saying it's still selfish to use your friend to save $40 on a trip that costs many times that, so don't do it.

So you present a made-up scenario that is so obviously advantageous to both parties that they needn't even be friends for the arrangement to make sense, and think this proves... what, exactly?

Then you take a cab to the rental place to get the rental car or some of these places will even drop off the car pick you up. It comes down to there is no way that getting to an airport is going to cost more than $100-120. I await your counter example of what about people who live in Iqaluit.

The problem with rental cars is dropping off in a different location will cost more than that. But probably not a huge amount more.

$300 is a fairly significant burden for most people (but driving someone else is going to be even more of one), and parking at the airport is almost always cheaper, so it's not a huge deal here. There are shared shuttles, but going that far might be impossible with them. Point is, there are options, and you are correct here.

Lol, you live in Ottawa - a city in the middle of nowhere. There are tons of people within a 1-2 hour drive of Ottawa that couldn't get there for $100-$120.

Keep on keeping on.

Lol, that's not what I'm arguing at all.

I wasn't trying to prove anything. I thought I made it clear that I just wanted to see how Henry would view that situation. Notice how he still didn't answer it because I'm sure his actual answer is something ridiculous like "No I would still be dishonoured to make that agreement with my friend."