I have some experience with this and can tell you for sure that it's best for both of you if you keep her at arms length. Little to no contact at all. Sounds easy, right? It is, and you'll be much better off if she is as poisonous as she seems.

Good luck, sir.

These types of posts in these threads always amaze me. Some people were simply incapable of imagining a world beyond what they know.

I'm going to add old person advise here. (Even though I don't know you.) My life has been much improved since deciding not to talk to my mother and I haven't spoken to her in years. GL

Gobbo-

How is your relationship with your sister? You at least indicate that she has had success ignoring your mom when she is engaged in this toxic behavior. Your sister has been there and done that with your mom and therefore knows how. No need to reinvent the wheel here, talk to your sister and do what she did.

Your mom will be hurt at first and will say some nasty things, but her toxicity will soon enough find another target.

Take care of yourself bud.

Gobbo she's an alcoholic. Suggest she get counseling, tell her you will pay for it. (???) Betty Ford, as silly as it sounds,is a great place. There's a great place in the Caribbean half the price of BF if money is the issue. She's not going to stop unless she wants to. And from personal past experience, she's not stopping until something "major" enough causes her to want to stop drinking.
Somewhere I read youre a mod, which to me, sounds like the nicest thing you can do is ban her for a year or more.
Don't talk to her when she's drinking, she cannot rationalize. 10am pick a day, sit down and just tell her everything you feel and think.
Just remember you can't control her anymore than she can control you.
I hate this saying but "if you love her" give her the chance to resolve the situation with or without your help and if she chooses to not do anything, then set yourself free from her for a while.
Alcoholics are blinded by the microscope they see thru and frankly they lie

GL
I will say prayers for you as I know exactly what this situation is like and how it feels.

I thought almost every post she made was completely insufferable, and wondering why someone's mom would ever want to post here, or really be allowed to get this involved with everything.

The obvious play is to..

1) Ban her and all the gimmicks she tries to make

2) You tell her how it's going to be if she wants you in her life at all anymore.

I would start out the conversation with a great quote I once observed..."you want it to be one way, but it's the other way."

Give her the 1-2 teddy Gobbo. GL!

lmao what the **** does this even mean

I always wondered what your stance was on her abuse towards other posters. Your mom is an embarrassment. Just ban her. Sorry for your ordeal.

As hard as this might be, just do nothing. I think anyone who knows you or even knows of you well knows of her involvement and you've made it clear you don't endorse her views. Like others have said, many people have weird relationships with their parents, and most can empathize and understand with your situation.

Surprised gobbomom hasn't dropped in yet...

Be up front with her. Tell her how much you value having her in your life (if that's true), that you can't continue to have a relationship with her the way things stand, and that you'd really like to be able to find a way that the two of you can have a more healthy relationship.

If you frame it something like that--opening and closing with something positive--you've done all you can to encourage her to listen to you rather than just get defensive.

Then let her know your conditions:

2p2 has to be off-limits to her. She'll still find a way to follow you here if she wants, but she can't post or talk to you about anything she reads.

You won't interact with her when she's been drinking. If she calls you when she's drunk you'll just hang up.

You won't talk to her if she starts trying to make you feel guilty or telling you don't love her enough, or any other manipulative BS like "Oh I'm so sorry I've been such a bad mother, can you ever forgive me" designed to make you feel sorry for her and comfort her.

And whatever else you need her to change.

Then try that plan out for a while and see if she's able to respect your needs and stick to those conditions enough that you feel like you can continue to have a relationship with her.

If she can't then you have to go to Plan B and cut her off for a while and then try again later or not.

I think there are clues that the account is being used for ban evasion.

She sounds like a freak and a very weird dude

Tough spot, Gobbo. My parents had some issues, indeed some serious ones: but diddling around in my social and professional life was not one of them. Seems like overkill to cut her off, but the alternative seems to be to tolerate intolerable and unreasonable behavior when she's been hitting the bottle.

Ultimately, the solution is for her to work on her alcohol issues. I eventually severed contact with my mom for refusing to do the same, but that comes with some trauma.

(1) You can not tell females to not do something she wants to do. They will not listen.
(2) You can not tell your mother to not do something she wants to do. She will not listen.
(3) You can not tell a drunk to not something they want to do. They will not listen.

Sounds like mom is lonesome and when she gets drunk she needs to talk to somebody, so she calls you. This woman needs a boy friend. Point her to some dating sites or maybe look for her or even with her.

I think your mother loves you and is very proud of you, but unfortunately alcohol gets in the way. This is not all her fault, you could have handled the situation better. Please refer to bullet points 1 - 3 above. If you can, trying to distance her from you while she is an option you have. Maybe a little creative thinking with your telephones can help you here.

As far as 2+2 is concerned, would your life end tomorrow if you quit posting here?

Please do not screw your relationship with your mother up over this. Likely one of these days she will be dead and the problem will solve itself.

Um, Gobbomom is the one screwing up the relationship. You are trying to guilt him into putting up with her BS just like she does. What if she lives another 20-30 years? Is he supposed to put up with a toxic relationship for that long just because she is his mom?

Gobbo, stay strong, it's not easy. You need to establish boundaries with your mom and what sort of behavior you will and will not accept from her. I recently had to confront my mom about her drinking and how it was affecting our relationship. It wasn't fun, but things are slowly getting better and they can get better for you as well. Good luck.

If Gobbomom is a true 2p2er she will respond with force.

Put her spirit in your girlfriend's body and...

Alcohol is rarely the real problem and a symptom of deeper issues.

From my interactions with gobbomom, she comes off as absolutely bat**** crazy.

People with good/decent/not horrible parents can't fathom someone cutting off ties with a parent when the relationship is destructive. Some people have ****ty parents that are emotionally abusive, or worse. I was neglected and starved most of my childhood. My mom's a raging drug addict with a bad gambling problem and a likely case of BPD. Should i maintain contact just because i came out of her a few decades ago? **** no. She's a crappy human being and causes me pain to interact with her. So off she goes.

I don't know the extent of gobbomom's craziness but if we're just getting a taste of it here i imagine gobbo's been through the whole gamut of typical manipulative abusive BS. I didn't even know I was abused til i was much older and realized some **** is not normal.

I don't see why you haven't made a new account. I'm asking this in a serious non-douchey way - is it important for 2p2 members to know it's you when you're posting?

Gobbo,
You can't change your mother.
If she is willing to lose her son due to alcohol, just like she lost her daughter, (and probably her husband), that's her choice. Your choice is to not let her control your interactions.

2nd CMAR's suggestion of al-anon, or adult children of alcoholics. A therapist could also help. Just cutting someone off is difficult.

GobboMom,
(because we all know she's reading)
Are you hearing what your son is saying?
Stop drinking and/or go to AA. You are risking losing your son.

It's possible that he a) can't bring himself to say these things directly to her and b) wants to do this publicly because he hopes it makes it harder for her to go into a drunken rage online.

Of course, he'll probably feel pretty bad if the public humiliation leads his mom to commit suicide, which would be a totally normal reaction.

What the ****??

No. That is not remotely normal.