maybe olympic lifters would of been a better choice.. those guys are strong and agile.. powerlifters are fat****s in latex suits

Heavyweight Olympic wrestlers maybe. Or maybe heavyweight boxers. Or heavyweight MMA guys. Maybe a couple of Mentawai tribesman with sharpened teeth. Maybe the right combination of the above.

I think the question should just be SB vs. ANY 12 humans.

These freakin' apes bite people's faces off, dudes, plus they use their hind legs to just rip apart your midsection and genitals. They are formidable, and they have almost as much cleverness and cunning as people, not to mention incredible stamina.

Gorilla ainec.

Matt R., jmill -

I think it's hard not to project one's own physical limits onto the strongmen; imo that's why there are so many people going, "ROFL gorilla 100%."

Gorilla4Sale, on the other hand, has the right instinctive scale of the force a strongman can generate. So because he feels that the men have a 1-in-10 shot, I do suspect my opinion is a bit pessimistic.

But the human body is just so vulnerable compared to that of a gorilla. The skin tears so easily, joints are far more susceptible, vital organs are relatively exposed, pain tolerance is lower, etc. I would definitely not take 10:1 odds on the men.

Edit - In particular, I think the "everybody has a plan until an enraged silverback gorilla throws your friend's head at you" element of the encounter is an insurmountable psychological hurdle.

Speaking of breaking one of the human's bones to use as a weapon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_Frog

"The hairy frog is also notable in possessing retractable 'claws' (though unlike true claws, they are made of bone, not keratin), which it may project through the skin, apparently by intentionally breaking the bones of the toe."

Everyone who thinks the gorilla will win is wrong, as they are projecting the gorilla's strength 1v1 the same as 1v12.

Yes, if 1 strongman grabs the guerilla's arm he is toast. Just like if 1 5 year old grabs your arm he is toast.

But when 12 charge at you, and each grabs a limb and starts pounding on you, you don't have the same amount of strength to respond to everything. You are basically crippled because you need your other limbs free to be able to have the strength to do anything. This is what would happen here, and why the humans would prevail.

It's only this simple if the fight starts out with the gorilla sedated until the 12 bodybuilders have a hold of all its limb. The gorilla is so much quicker and will not be easily surrounded by these guys.

you are wrong and that is an awful analogy. You are comparing the same species, an underdeveloped one vs a developed one.

Here we compare an animal with different muscle mass, different bone density, and most importantly, a different species, vs man.

The overwhelming consensus here, by almost everyone, even man supporters, is that a LOT of factors have to go right in order for man to pull out a victory here.

Even a strongman (whose opinion of strength I would take over any 2+2er here) suggests that their chances would be under 10%.

If there is anything we can agree on, it is that most people are idiots, especially here.

Also a confined space (cage) will hurt the guerrilla a lot more than help it.

If they can manage to grab the limbs then of course gg win for the 12 body builders. I personally don't believe that they will be able to grab the gorilla due to the speed, strength, and ferocity of the gorilla. While the men are extremely strong I do not believe they are immune to fear and in the chaos of the battle their coordination will fail them. No one wants to be the guy that is going to get his face ripped or bitten off.

Being far from a silverback gorilla expert, I'm curious how it would act depending on the species. Like at what point does it not just automatically assume it's the dominant individual anymore?


Peak Ronnie Coleman?




Grizzly Bear?



Hippo?



I would pay pretty good money to see a hippo acting aggressive towards a silverback gorilla and see what the gorilla does.

Yeah, uh, you apparently didnt read this very closely. Their pet, Moe, was peaceful for 30+ years before some ******ed lady insisted on grabbing at his cage, in direct opposition to their instructions. He nipped her finger (long, red fingernails resembling his favorite candy licorice), and was taken to a sanctuary. He immediately fell into apparent deep depression, refusing to eat etc, which is completely understandable given primates social nature.

After thousands of people started signing petitions in support and the aid of a high profile lawyer working pro-bono, the couple managed to get him moved to a different private sanctuary where the couple could interact with him/he could watch tv sometimes/enjoy other luxuries hed grown accustomed to over 30 years. They would visit weekly and spend full days with their beloved "son."

This continued for awhile without incident, until Moes 39th birthday party. The couple brought a car full of presents, huge cake, etc and were welcomed excitedly by Moe. He happily devoured his cake and everything was going great at the party, when the wife noticed another chimp staring her down out of the corner of her eye. Their gazes crossed, he charged, and the husband threw her under a picnic table. The chimp proceeded to basically eat this guys face/hands off, eventually joined by another younger chimp, until the owner of the sanctuary responds (full minutes later) with a .45, eventually killing both attacking chimps.

Moe was cowering in the corner of his cage the entire attack.

The owner of the compound had left 2/3 other chimp cage doors open, allowing the other chimps to crash the family birthday party. Oops.

very ****ed up, sad story imo

I've been thinking about this more, those measurements quoted about other primate species pulling on dynamometer are just them ****ing around pulling on something in their enclosure, and the 500kg numbers are from powerlifters doing very specific exercises with equipment like belts and benches.

The bone compressive strength is 4x that of a human, and the gorilla's bones are just covered in muscle, it's going to be so difficult to break vertebra or ribs on this thing.

@offTopic, I think it's brain is below that flaired part of the skull, deep down inside.

Another thing in the gorillas favour is the fact that I don't think 12 people could effectively attack it at once, unless it was just a gay pile of men approach like South Park.

Lastly the best way to knock out a person is a sudden rotation of the head by a blow to the jaw (think hooks in boxing), and again the gorillas neck is so stocky that it's probably far less susceptible to that.

The weak points are going to be hands, feet, joints, trachea and groin, and maybe the arm down the throat as ridiculous as it sounds. If you could stomp the **** out of it's hands and feet to break those that might slow it down, a good old fashioned kick in the balls (although several said it has small nuts) or a well directed blow to the throat are the only things that give humans a chance.

matt, do you really have no idea of the strength of these animals. its comparable to a grizzly. it will decapitate a 300 lbs. with a bitchslap without too much effort. if it attacks there is no defense and if you're in a cage there is escape.

your mockery is misplaced mi amigo

an 800lbs wild primate when threatened will have killer instinct. if you doubt that then hop in the cage and test your theory that percentages of their dietary intake influence their self-defense responses.

btw, they have large canines for a reason and it isnt for nibbling on figs.

FWIW I would bet on the gorilla as well, I'm just not in the gorillawins100%ainec camp. I think the strongmen win some non zero % of the time, and I can't really see being that sure about either side, given that there's no real precedent.

I mean there's no doubt the gorilla snaps any one of us in half like a twig, that thing would toss me around like a ****ing rag doll, but 12 really strong dudes who know what they're doing and are working together is at least arguable to me.

id take elephant > hippo > or = grizzly bear

rhino placement unknown

afrojojo, silverbacks weigh in the 300-450 pound rage, or so the internet tells me


Yea, I didn't even include elephants because I just assumed no animal could/would really mess with them. I mean wtf are you going to do to an adult elephant?

Good call on rhino's, they'd be interesting too.

this is foolishness! 12 men charging and immobilizing the gorilla...while inside a cage...come on now

about 5 seconds in its gonna be 11 dudes retreating when the first head comes flying at them.

still lol at folks giving the humans the advantage. if this weren't hypothetical I'd be laying 10-1 ALL DAY and know I'm straight stealin your money at those odds

my bad, im sure im overestimating the animal a bit and i can live with that. the conclusion doesnt change much though. humans prevail < 1%.

the pileup theory and attacking the throat are the only plausible theories and that isnt saying much.

maybe a surgical striker could take out a knee...and thats a big maybe...but even is he could the gd ape is QUADRIPEDAL. you gotta take out at least 2 limbs to immobilize it.

the gorilla is not only an offensive juggernaut but its hide and bone structure make it ridiculous to think that these dudes could even cause him any significant pain. punches and kicks are completely futile 100%

the trachea is the only vulnerability and good luck getting at that.

thx to OP for posting. great stupid fun hypothetical thread.

im thinking gorilla v. 12 men = M-1 abrams v. 12 humvees in an enclosed space.

Starting to think I underestimated the body builders. This might be closer than I originally thought.

First of all, there are a few very important variables imo. Gorillas range from 300-450 lbs, obviously a huge difference. Vs the 450 lb gorilla, no chance. Vs the 300, a chance. I'm not sure if this stat is for all gorilla species and if silverback gorillas only range from 400-450 or something, if so GG bodybuilders.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZItE4FQU784

Not sure if this has been posted yet, but it's two silverback gorillas fighting. Pretty ferocious, one guy is definitely getting pummeled to death but in an enclosed arena the gorilla is also open for 11 guys to pile onto him and then maybe of the survivors one can stomp its throat. It's not like the gorilla is constantly moving around and impossible to stop.

Also is this the meanest, more ferocious, dominant male we could find, or just an average gorilla? Huge huge huge huge difference.

There's a few other variables which would need to be hammered out too. Do the 12 body builders know whats going on or are they just thrown into the ring, told they are going to fight and then a gorilla is thrown in? Probably no chance then as they'll be throwing worthless punches and kicks. If they are given info ahead of time, and get to do some research their chances jump dramatically.

I'd say the bodybuilders have a solid 10-15% chance of winning against a not outrageously large gorilla. If this is an ongoing thing and a second group of bodybuilders can watch the first group of bodybuilders slaughter on video, I'd say their chances jump up a ton, definitely to 20% maybe even to something like 35%.



Still not looking good for the bodybuilders, but I think they do stand a chance now after researching a little bit. Also wanted to point out to the people who say that "you might lose 6 bodybuilders but they'd win in the end" that this is completely wrong. Either 9+ live and are able to take down the gorilla and stomp its throat, or they lose the strength required to hold it down and they all end up dead.

if the gorilla is smart enough to attack and retreat if they start to have success piling on and then attack/retreat, hard to see it losing as it would negate the numbers advantage significantly.

If the men were all brothers they'd stand a much better chance, otherwise the instinct for self preservation would kick in and no one would want to be among the first to engage the gorilla. Still <5% though imo.

edit - better still, father and 11 sons. dad will steam in first and gladly sacrifice himself.

'If you can stomach it, read up on what happened to the poor Davis' when they went to visit their pet chimp.'

A bit? You called a ~400 pound primate 800 pounds. You are assuming this gorilla is King Kong.

So is the consensus now that the animal whose instinctual behavior is to throw vegetables at its opponent when it knows it's about to fight to the death will beat 12 world-class powerlifters in a roid rage fighting for their lives?