As a 26 yo dude who has led a pretty charmed life full of opportunities and experience, but just started to realize things/perceptions are changing as I get older, I really appreciate all the advice people have written ITT. Even if it seems wrong to some.

A+ thread keep em coming you old and wise mother****ers.

I have a finance degree but am not elite. So the only thing i would tell myself is do accounting instead.

Goldman Sachs rules for "being a man" ... not sure that's the orginal title or if this has anything to do with goldman sachs. ex-employee write it maybe or something like that...

anyway, i thought it was a decent list.... kind of like "don't be a round peg trying to fit into a square hole". something you realize much more when you are older.

http://www.lifehacker.com.au/2013/09...goldman-sachs/

a square peg story i remember...

going out in university to party... i partied alot but i was kind of a loner, which admittedly was a strange combo..

anyway, we go over to pick someone up from this really nice college residence (i think UBC built them for expo 86 in vancouver)....

i remember this pretty hot girl from my class who wasn't going out and was there knitting (10 pm on a friday night)... her BF was there too, watching TV..

anyway, i remember thinking "that looks pretty good... alot better than what we do all the time".. and my guess is they weren't having sex then

so it was just hanging out with a nice, hot girl (of which there were/are quite a few... and they are infinitely better to deal with than your hyper-popular clubbing hot girl....

but not sure why i didn't clue in that maybe i should go for something like that... and frankly the girl didn't have to be hot (and on second thought, this girl was nice looking church-type girl)....

not sure why i was so into the bar/party scene in those days even though i got little tangible out of it....... just seems when you are young you want to be seen as cool and popular, even though 85%+ of us weren't). so much of cool/popular is genetic (i would argue over upbringing) and so hard to really explain.

i like "the world doesn't care about you being offended". and i'd add "no one cares about your strong opinions". like FB who hate monsanto. they just seem to make themselves so unpopular.

Surprisingly, I agree with almost the entire list. I think I've gotten into pretty heated discussions about paying for the check when out to dinner with a girl, for example. It's like wearing thong underwear. There may be some really valid reasons for doing it, but in the end you still look like an idiot.

I *never* wear khakis and am glad it said to ditch them.

Probably a dumb question, but how much should I put in savings account before putting money into investments? Three months living expenses?

Also, I have a 401k which matches 6%. I contribute 6%. Is there an ideal time to start an IRA, or the sooner the better? I am 25 fwiw.

Elaborate?

its 90% body language. The rest takes care of itself. not sure why that would be genetic. Oh and btw, thats another good one, watch your own body language. It affects how you feel about yourself (scientifically proven), and it affects how other people perceive and treat you. Biggest reason rich guys get laid more is because the project confidence in their body language (caused by being rich), not because they have money.

Always when possible sit with an arm stretched out across the chair next to you. It gives your shoulders a broader appearance.

Grunching...

I was thinking about what I would tell my 25-year-old self for a long time now, primarily because I wanted to come up with some condensed wisdom as perceived by myself and hopefully others, too (so that would boost my ego; I'm such a smart guy, eh).
During that exercise, I have come up with several different 'monologues', each one developing out of and replacing the earlier one. That resulted in the probably second last version:

"Many people have been and will be giving you advice, most of the times well-meant, a few times with bad intent. Either way, don't spend too much energy listening. They will be projecting their own value system and experiences onto you and want you to live up to that.
However, you will only possibly listen to the pieces of advice that align well with your current value system.

And in my experience, the most valuable concepts that stuck well came from the mistakes I have made; either because I did not know any better, did not listen to, or forgot earlier advice."

... and in the end, I lean towards scrapping that piece, too, and just shut up for a change.

I don't know if "should" is the right word or not but I have been putting 10 percent into my 401 since the day I started it, every time you get a raise it gets one as well. it has treated me well and I don't regret doing it at all. one day you will look at the account and think damn a 5 percent swing in the market really does matter!! but that is a good problem to have.

Being 28 some advice I would have give to a younger me:


1) Suit up!

Clothes literally make the man. It might sound incredible superficial but I think what you are wearing (alongside your body language) pretty much defines how people see you. Dress up. Believe me, people will notice.



2) Your workplace is a snakepit and coworkers are never your friends

This has been mentioned a couple of times but everyone at work has their own agenda. Unless you have good reason not to, just dont get too close and just try to stay out of trouble.


3) When in doubt, whether to do or not to do something, always lean towards doing it.

Its a habit worth getting into. You will feel awkward often times but you are definitely going to struck gold from time to time.


4) Keep your friends around

This might sound pretty bland but it takes a lot of time (and luck) to find new friends, especially when you are getting older.


5) Cars are expensive, especially when you are young

Gas and maintaining will eat up A LOT of money, especially when you dont make that much money yet (this probably applies more to us Europeans).


6) Try online-dating

This might sound stupid but you would be surprised how many youngish couples met on the internet. Contrary to believe there are a lot of women on the webs.


7) Time is the most valuable asset, not money.


8) Family and friends are here to stay in your life, girlfriends and coworkers usually wont miss you for a second


9) Once a girl says "no", forget about her

Just dont waste your time. Usually, nothing ever good is coming form that situation. Also dont wait too long before you ask



10) Bring a ****ing condom unless you are shagging your girlfriend.

Christ on a bike. The amount of unsafe sex even in "educated circles" is absolutely staggering, and we are not talking about relationships here. Is anyone out there using condoms nowadays? Pregnancy is probably your least worry.


11) Learn to dance

unless you really loathe it.

Time is the ultimate bling.

OP, "therapy." Everyone could use it.

I agree with you on how dressing up will define how people see you. I have always dressed very modest and am probably bordering a slob at some points. In the summer I'm 80% just wearing a white tee. Anyhow, my neighbor who I'm good buds with is the exact opposite. He's always said what you've said. He keeps his house super clean (mine is not so clean).

So when I really think about it, what drives people to dress nice to impress/get respect from others? Ya if your trying to get laid or make a business deal it makes sense, but what if your not?

Honestly I feel like people who don't feel the need to dress to impress are in many ways less self conscious (less self conscious in ways would mean more confident).

I'm an online poker player making good money with an awesome wife and 2 kids I love to death. It worries me because life is so good I know it can only go downhill from here. Why do I need to dress up so someone else perceives me in a certain way?

You walk into a club and you see 100 guys dressed up hoping to find a lady to have kids with and live happily ever after (ya many are just looking for a lay, but I'd bet deep down most would love to have a wife). You walk down the street and you see all the dads in their sweats with their wife and kids. The thing about it though is I'm betting a high % of the dads didn't switch to wearing sweats when they became a dad. They weren't some crisp collar clubbin guy. They were who they were and that is what drew a woman to them. They weren't so consumed in how everyone else would perceive them.

Horrible "advice" by one more time

Dress up is right
Will make many more connections and especially at 25 you will be taken more seriously by your elders

Dunno. Replace "elders" with "peers" and you may be right. If we are talking about the right subset of peers, that is.

If at 25 your elders don't take you seriously then its down to you not your clothes. Dress up and you just attract the sort of people who are impressed with such silly matters.

The people who matter care very little about how you dress, its a mediocre level that does so decide where you fit in - if you spend a lot of time with middle management or gurus then you might have to worry about it.

are you a woman? If your a man you need to get your testosterone checked man. No ***** guy is out there looking for a wife lol. Unless your maybe 35-40 and you have seen it all. I mean yeah lets go look for a woman to sign a contract with that will be broken 50% of the time and then cost us alot of money, and in the mean time not get laid much at all (statistics talking here). Yeah men are secretly looking for that when they go out.

Me personally,

dressing up(expensive or not) in something that is well fitted for me, makes me feel good and more upbeat. It's obv not mood swinging, but it does add that extra 2% in my opinion. Look good, feel good. If it results a positive judgement by others, then it's just a plus.

Also I believe body language and your appearance/aura is important in first impressions, and clothing has +-2% influence on it. I'd take advantage of it.

Your looking at it with the glass half empty. I guess I'm in whatever % it is that gets to have nasty unprotected sex with a girl that will give it to me anytime I want. It's nice not having to spend the time/energy figuring out where my next lay is going to come from. Totally beats having to wrap up with some random, or more likely not wrap up and then be worried for a few days that you ****ed up. Having sex with the same chic really isn't bad, I mean, jerking off is the same thing but that never gets old.

If you marry a chic who is really into sex before marriage, I don't think that really changes after marriage. You just have to know how to bring the drive out. If your chic is lacking a bit of sex drive before marriage, that won't change after marriage either.

Wtf are u talking about
You are judged by how you dress
Fact of life
Get over it

If you don't care about success then ya whatever dress how you want
Don't conform to society and it's shallowness , more poker power too you, good for you

But otherwise
Learn how to ***** dress


Btw I'm pretty lazy about it and don't dress even half as well as I should, but it's stupid and immature of me to do so

Untrue. Only shallow people care how you dress and unless you're mediocre they dont matter, probbaly noit even if you are mediocre.

I'm older and had no problems dealing with people at the highest levels. They really don't care. If you're dependent on the mediocre shallow people then yes it can matter.

I know how to dress txs, probably far better than you do.

Not doing it because you're lazy is indeed stupid and immature of you. Not doing it because you're not interested in doing it and dont want to make a pointless effort to attract the shallow mediocre people isn't. Clean and not too scruffy is plenty.

moving on from the silliness about plumage, if you want to impress your elders then be very well-prepared, have integrity, listen a lot, speak only when you have something to say and be assertive.