Lol. Welcome.

Had to keep him honest, man. Not like the Ten was a deuce.

Live 1/2.

Guy that just moved to my direct left has his wife sweating him (lol at that).

In his first orbit he loses a hand after lomping JJ ep and calling down one of the blinds on a xKTTx board on turn and river. "Ill pay ya off. Yup, thats what I thought ya had".

Then goes on to explain to wife thats shy he likes limping "medium pairs" like Jacks... because "usually a Q K or A comes on the flop and you dont know where youre at".

Nice one, bud.

I'm certain that what I got can't be beat. It happened the other day and made me think of this thread, which might have to be closed after this cause I got the nuts.

Live 5/5 nl... I sit down and to my right sits a 20 something wearing the cliche 'pro' uniform, headphones, track jacket, etc. He has two books on the table next to his chips. 'Play poker like the pros' by hellmuth and 'harrington on cash games volume 1.' He consults these books throughout every hand he plays. Although nobody seems interested, he announces to the table that the hellmuth boom is more basic and good for selecting starting hands, whereas the harrington book is for 'really complicated postflop decisions.'

After a few orbits, it's folded to our avid reader in the cuttoff, who consults the hellmuth book and limps (65 bb deep). Folded to sb who raises to 7bbs. Avid reader calls (eff stack was his 65bb). Avid reader calls. Flop 88Jr. Sb bets 11bb, avid reader calls. Blank turn. Sb bets 16bb and reader calls (now having committed near two thirds of his stack. River is a king and check, check. Sb shows pocket queens, avid reader shows k9 off and takes the pot. Sb says wtf... Avid reader says he had Implied odds. Sb says wtf u mean, you called most of your stack with air. Avid reader picks up the harrington book, and points to a paragraph that says that the worse your opponent is, the better your implied odds so the more you can call. He says 'if you were a better player I wouldn't have called that much, but your so bad that I had the correct implied odds.'

That's actually a pretty sick burn that I might steal. "You're so bad, I don't need chips to get odds."

Oh yeah, when he left he offered the table coaching

I am so going to use this line.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using 2+2 Forums

Regular in a 4-8 limit game after newbie wins a pot with T5o: "That's my favorite hand."
Newbie: "Why is that?"
Regular: "You can make lots of strong hands. Every possible straight has a ten or a five in it, so you have them all covered."
Newbie looks like the gears are turning in his brain.
Regular: "Plus you can make a flush in two different suits. If they are suited, you can only make a flush in one suit."
Newbie seems to be accepting this logic.

20 minutes later newbie cracks regular's AA with T5o.

"The Beast" strikes again.

I lol'ed!

GawesomeG

Not sure how absurd this thinking was, but it was a new one for me.

Playing in the Sunday afternoon donkament at local Indian casino. Table is mostly bad with one guy I dubbed Dead Money Molasses (DMM) for how slow he is to make all of his terrible decisions. He is sitting two to my right, and in this hand is the SB.

I raise a sea of limpers with QQ, CO and SB call.

Flop comes Q4xr, checks to me and I bet 1/3 pot.

CO raises, and DMM deliberates for a while and finally calls.

I re-raise, CO folds and now DMM goes into deep-tank mode.

He huffs, and sighs and checks his cards and stares at the board and shuffles his chips and re-checks his cards.

Finally he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter, spins it on the felt and waits for it to drop. Then after checking that it was heads, counts out the call from his stack and pushes it forward, which leaves him about 2BB behind.

Turn is a 4, he checks and I bet enough to put him all in. Another deep-tank session ensues and he finally folds.

TL;DR doofus commits 95% of his stack based on an actual coin-flip and then folds on the turn.

Confused. If villain is two to your right and he's the SB, doesn't that make you first to act (utg)? So how do you raise "a sea of limpers" if you're first?

Gaah, two to my left...

Ah so desu ka.

Yeah, that threw me for a bit of a loop. I had to read it a few times.

Wait, if he's two to your left, that makes you the Cutoff. Story doesn't add up.

Yikes, didn't realize this would be cross examined. Dude was a few to my left. Ten handed table, I'm in the 9 seat, he was on the other side of the dealer, in the 2 or 3 seat. I was in late position, he was in the blinds. Still doesn't change the fact that he had to consult an actual coin flip to determine his terrible play.

2 to your right is the SB and you "raised a sea of limpers"? Exactly how many limpers were there before you raised UTG?

FromACtoLV must be a barrel of laughs at the tables, maybe lay off and you wont make yourself look any worse...

A whole sea of them.


--klez

I can't edit the original, but this has been clarified in later posts. geez. And besides, this game plays so passive, I can't count how many hands see the flop with 5-6 people hoping to connect with anything, then folding to a minimal bet. So yes, a sea of limpers is a pretty accurate description of any hand there.

Sorry, was at the bottom of the page and thought it was the last one.

how many of these stories johnny lodden thinks are made up?

This was at the bottom of the page, but it wasn't the last one.

1-3 game. An incredibly drunk player sitting to my left in the SB, woman from early position raises pre-flop, the drunkard calls. Flop comes J,6,2 rainbow, drunkard bets 30, woman raises to 100, drunkard calls. Turn card J, drunkard checks and woman bets another 100, after tanking for a minute or two drunkard calls, river is a blank, drunkard checks, woman shoves for about 75 more, drunkard tanks for about 5 minutes, keeps saying she has to have a jacks, I just know she has a jack, he shows our side of the table pocket deuces and folds.

We just sit there in shock for a minute, someone finally asks him what the hell he was thinking, the guy honestly had no idea he had a full house, then after realizing what he just did tried convincing us he didn't actually have deuces even after showing all of us. He soon lost the last two stacks he had and left quietly.

Thats more a drunk misreading the board than absurd thinking.