The backdrop of this story: on Monday morning, I was called up and asked to a job interview in Nashville, TN. I got the short timeframe of having to go in the very next day. So be it; the opportunity sounded like one I'd like, so I cleared my Tuesday schedule. Then on Monday evening I randomly fell asleep from 5:30 to 10:30 p.m. I had run myself ragged this past weekend, so I guess I'm not surprised at this sleep, but man...it was really going to screw me up for my interview day. That said, I caffeinated and headed out of town for the interview. I think the interview itself went well; I was in the zone. Time will tell if it gets me anywhere. It wasn't until night that the evening soured.
At around 9 p.m., I crossed the state line back into Indiana. I was about 90 minutes from home and looked forward to getting to relax after a long day. Suddenly, my tire blew out. The lucky part is that I was right near a rest area when this occurred and was able to pull safely into a parking spot with my newly useless vehicle. The unlucky part is basically everything else that followed.
I got out of my car, and pulled out my AAA card. On it read the magic words, "Valid until April 10, 2012." ****. I called the phone number and explained that I knew I was expired and that I'd need to renew...also that I needed emergency roadside assistance. They said okay, they'll transfer me to member services. I thanked them and waited. I was on hold with elevator music for a while, which gave way to ringing. And ringing. And ringing. What? Nobody's answering. I hang up and call back, and tell them what just occurred. They apologize and forward me again. This time I get forwarded to a recording that says that I've reached their membership desk outside of normal business hours since it was after 5 p.m. Umm, okay. I call the original number again and tell the operator the situation. She tries to just forward me along, at which point I give her a "NO NO WAIT" and stop her from sending me back into the bottomless pit. I explain about the recording I just got. She transfers me to someone new. I explain my situation and she says, "Okay, we can renew you." Excellent. She asks if she could put me on hold, to which I assent. And then I stay on hold for legitimately 20 minutes. I finally hang up and start the process over one more time. Again I get forwarded into a black hole of nothingness. I call back one more time and someone finally explains to me what I already suspected, that they cannot renew me outside of normal business hours after all.
This whole ordeal has taken me like 75 minutes so far. I hang up and start Googling around on my phone for nearby auto repair people. I call a bunch of numbers, but nobody is answering, not even with a voicemail to beg for help on. I call AAA back up. In what will become a recurring theme for the night, I get forwarded to the Washington state AAA every single time I call, no matter what I do. Their system recognizes my phone as being from WA and that's that. I explain about being sent to the Washington office repeatedly, and they give me a direct line for Indiana. I call that direct line later and it gives me a recording telling me to call the national number. So, I deal with this song and dance of being sent to the wrong operator first every single time I call, and the number of times I ultimately called was many. Anyway, I ask AAA if they could put me in contact with a 24-hour emergency roadside assistance person, and that I realize I'll have to pay out of pocket. They respond, "Well I see that your membership is canceled." Yes, I just ****ing explained that and said I knew I would have to pay. These operators were excruciatingly dumb throughout the night. I'm proud that I resisted every impulse to get snippy with them, as I'm a firm believer in not being a prick to customer service people unless they're actually rude themselves...being dumb is not sufficient justification. I finally get my point across, that I'd just like to get in touch with someone I can pay for help. They tell me they can give someone a call and set me up with them. Okay, good, thank you. They tell me that someone will be along to help "within the hour." Fine.
75 minutes later, another number calls my phone. It's the repair guy; he says he's having a hard time finding me. I tell him I'm at a rest area called "Henryville Rest Park" off of I-65 northbound and that if he's coming from the south he should just take the freeway until he finds a rest area a little past mile 20. He says okay, he'll find me. After 15 minutes he calls me up and asks, "Hey, are you at a gas station?"
I again explain where I am, and he says he'll be there soon. 20 minutes later I get a call from AAA saying, "Yeah, the wrecker can't get to you. All of I-65 northbound is closed off now because of construction and they're sending people off on detours, so the rest area is completely inaccessible."
I ask, "There's NOBODY who can get through? There's nothing you can do to help?" They say they'll call the police and see if the police can get a wrecker through. They say they'll call back. Another 20-30 minutes passes. The sheriff's office calls me up and says, "Yeah, I think what you need to do is just wait it out."
Short version of my reaction:
Long version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8
I keep my cool about it and plead with them to do something for me. They assure me there's nothing they can do, but that they don't expect the freeway closure to go on for too much longer. I don't believe them because I'm not stupid. Regardless, this call is exhausted and comes to an end. Friends over text offer to help, but I'm inaccessible to anyone so there's nothing anyone can do. By now it's about 12:15 or 12:30 a.m. I try to call AAA back at the number they just called me at so I can get back to the same operator who was assisting me. I get an error message telling me that the number I'm calling isn't real. And no, I didn't typo; I just clicked the item in the incoming call log to call back, only to be told that it wasn't a real number. I text my friend and ask if this is a drug trip. I am seriously ****ing tired at this point; I haven't slept in about 26 hours. Also I'm still in a suit from my interview, which is highly uncomfortable by now. Couldn't this happen during the 98% of the time that I wear ****ty clothes? I'm also hungry, so I scrounge together some coins and use the vending machines available here at the rest area. It sustains me a little bit.
I keep waiting. AAA calls me and says, "Okay, the police are actually sending their own wrecker through to you now." I say great, and wait for that to happen. It doesn't happen. I call back and ask for an update. Each and every call involves (1) being routed to the wrong state and having to be rerouted; (2) being told, "oh, your membership is canceled" even though I acknowledge that up front; and (3) being fed to a new person who doesn't know what's up. A look back at my call log tells me that 14 of these calls occurred. As you can imagine, I'm really hitting the end of my rope and going insane over this whole ordeal. I think, "Oh hey, the Mariners played while all of this was going on. I wonder how they did." I look up ESPN.com and discover that they lost after blowing a seven-run lead. Given how my evening has gone, I simply react with,
I finally get through to someone at 2 a.m. who finds my case and says, "Oh, someone will be there within 15 minutes." I respond rather oddly: I giggle. Hard. I'm losing my grip. The operator says, "What?" I stop laughing and say, "Nothing. That's fine. Thank you." I'm giggling because at this point people at AAA are just making **** up and I know it. Also I'm very tired and I'm actually hitting a point of delirium. I sit and wait, basically having given up all hope. I wait for this clearly fictional 15-minute window to pass. It does. At about the 20-minute mark, I go ahead and recline in my car. I'm very tired and have to resign myself to a few winks of sleep. I keep my phone's ringer cranked up to make sure I awaken if anyone calls. Nobody does. I clearly lapse into sleep, but when I wake up I figure out that I couldn't have slept more than 30 minutes. I get back on the case of trying to get help.
Around 3 a.m. I get a hold of another person at AAA who tries to forward me to an auto repair shop. I tell her, "NO NO, WAIT...that has happened before, and I just got forwarded to a closed auto shop's voicemail. Can you make sure you get an actual person on the line before forwarding me?" She says she will, and puts me on hold for an eternity. After a very long hold time, she finally comes back and says, "Umm, I'm sorry, but of all the ones I talked to, nobody is going to be available to help until about 8 a.m."
I'm just aghast at this point. I stutter through a line to the effect of, "Seriously? I've been calling you guys for six hours and I'm being told now that I have to wait another four? There's truly nothing you can do?" She says she'll try to find someone else who can help, and puts me on hold for another very long time. When I'm suddenly taken off hold, it's a dude on the other end saying "Hello?" I say, "Umm, yeah, is this an auto repair place?" This exchange is weird, because he describes our connection as follows: "AAA called me up. I have no idea why they called me, because they canceled our contract and we're not in business with them anymore. She asked if I could speak to someone in need of help anyway, and I said yes. Then she hung up and you were on the other end." Yeah, this guy turned out to be over 100 miles away. He said, "I could send someone, but you'd have to pay for over 100 miles of travel...that would be really expensive." I tell him not to do that. He says he'll try to find someone else in my area who is open. He leafs through his contacts and gives me three phone numbers. I thank him profusely for his help, because he was really just doing a good deed for someone in trouble, and unlike AAA he wasn't dealing with a past or prospective customer.
And, unlike AAA, he doesn't lead me into a ridiculous rabbithole to Wonderland. The first number I call says, "Sure, we can help," gets my info and gets someone to me within 30-45 minutes. The tire is irreparable so he just has to throw the spare on and wish me luck. By the time I finish with him it's past 5 a.m., so 8 hours have passed in this ordeal...and it's really not over yet, because now I have to hobble over 100 miles on a doughnut, which isn't safe. Also not safe? Driving a lengthy distance after being up for 30.5 of the last 31 hours. I get myself to a gas station, slam a 20 oz. Red Bull, which has little effect. I stop at another gas station 20 miles later, slam another 20 oz. Red Bull. Again, little effect. My body isn't going to accept liquid sleep anymore, it wants the real thing. I legitimately spend the last hour of my drive doing things like violently pounding on the center console and steering wheel of my car to make sure I stay awake. This was entirely dangerous, but at long last around 7:30 a.m., I made it home and went straight to bed for my first real sleep in 33-34 hours.