Rey vs. Dean from that Nitro: I'll give it ***1/2. A heatless match with a **** ending. Like no countdown for the ending? No announcement prior to the match of it being a 10 minute time limit? Why is this one a 10 minute time limit when other cruiserweight matches on Nitro have gone over 10 minutes? That reverse spinning wheel kick from the second rope was pretty awesome as was the powerbomb and a bunch of other stuff.

LKJ, best WCW match of the year? Mysterio vs. Psychosis?

Think my WCW 1996 rankings would be:

1. Mysterio vs. Malenko, Halloween Havoc
2. Mysterio vs. Psicosis, BATB
3. Malenko vs. Ultimo, Starrcade

And just to give a full top three on the WWF side, I've got:

1. Bret vs. Austin, Survivor Series
2. HBK vs. Mankind, Mind Games
3. HBK vs. Diesel, Good Friends Better Enemies

By the way, on the time limit draw stuff, I don't think I really mind a lack of countdown, mostly because they very rarely mention the time limit in other matches, and when a company only mentions it during matches where it's going to run out, that's an obvious giveaway. Ideally that would mean that a company would go around teasing it at other times when matches go for a while, but if they haven't been doing that then I think I like this way better.

In terms of no announcement at the start, the show was running behind and they didn't air the ring announcements, so the live crowd may have been told, and in terms of telling the TV audience I echo a lot of my first paragraph...going out of their way to bring it up may be a giveaway. Wasn't ideal to not get to see entrances, but this show was 15 minutes longer than usual in general, so I'm sure they were pressed for time at that point.

"Heatless" is totally legit though, and it's a big reason why I would struggle to give the match four stars. It left me irritated with the crowd since the workers were certainly earning their paycheck that night, but it still hurts a match.

January 6, 1997

RAW

Albany, NY

We open on a pre-taped Vader promo, vowing to take Bret Hart down tonight. Oh, and there's a tease of a clip of Marlena flashing the crowd on Shotgun Saturday Night.

After the credits, it's time for our opening match.

Owen Hart (w/ Clarence Mason) vs. Mankind (w/ Paul Bearer): Don't really know why these two are having a heel vs. heel match, but I'm certainly not complaining. Right at the bell, Mankind charges Owen, and Owen counters into a belly-to-belly. Not the "OMG that was ridiculous" belly-to-belly that Owen often pulls off, but I suppose Mankind is slightly more difficult to suplex on the fly than Shawn Michaels is. Owen goes straight for the Sharpshooter, but Mankind gets into the ropes before it can be fully applied. A thumb to the throat by Foley turns the tables.

Foley with a corner whip, Owen falls to his ass, Foley charges in with the running knee to the head. He claws away at the Slammy winner's face, though he doesn't quite get at the mandible. Owen elbows his way free, wrenches Mankind's arm repeatedly, but Mankind counters into…almost a Mandible Claw. Owen fights it off. Mankind successfully gets the claw on, but then Owen bites straight into it. Why doesn't everyone do that?



Owen slams the claw hand into the corner, then sets it down on the mat and stomps on it, trying to break the fingers. Mankind fights him back and then charges Owen at the ropes, carrying them both over the top. Mankind grabs for a chair, Owen for his Slammy…Owen is quicker on the draw, and jabs Mankind in the gut with his trophy before Mankind can return fire. He front-suplexes Mankind along the guardrail, then picks up his Tag Team Title belt and hits Mankind pretty hard with it. Referee Mike Chioda is just openly letting them cheat.

Action back inside, as Owen stomps and kicks at his deformed opponent. Headbutt to the sternum, then a low directed spinning wheel kick at a kneeling Foley.



Hart with a stomp to the lower abdomen, and a moment later he slaps on an abdominal stretch. Mankind hip-tosses his way loose, but Owen is right back on the ball with his signature enziguri, knocking Mankind to the floor. Owen follows to the floor, but gets pulled into the guardrail for his efforts. Mankind dumps out a ringside plastic cooler or something, then waffles Hart with it. He sends things back inside as the show goes to commercial.

Swinging neckbreaker by Foley. Owen reverses an Irish whip, drops his head too early, Foley goes for a swinging neckbreaker on the way back, Owen counters into a DDT. Hart scales the ropes and jumps off, but jumps into the Mandible Claw (this was the claw version of jumping feet-first into the Sharpshooter), but he breaks the hold quickly and connects on his spinning wheel kick. He charges Mankind in the corner, Mankind dodges, Owen rams shoulder-first into the post, Mankind quickly capitalizes with his seated piledriver and scores the pin. Nice match.



Result: Mankind via pinfall

Shawn Michaels is backstage with Jose Lothario and Lothario's son. Lothario thanks the fans for support and says that he intends to be in Shawn's corner at Royal Rumble. Lothario's son threatens that he'll be there if Sid does anything to his father during that match.

Here's a video package from this past Saturday's premiere of Shotgun Saturday Night. It featured a Nation of Domination beatdown on Ahmed Johnson, then later Ahmed performing a Pearl River Plunge on D-Lo Brown on top of a parked car. There was also the debut of the Flying Nuns, managed by Brother Love. That gimmick didn't last, and I don't think it ever made it to Raw aside from this clip. They would later become the Headbangers.

Honky Tonk Man joins in on commentary for the next match. He's still scouting for a protégé who can do everything that he did during his prime.

Diesel 2.0 & Razor Ramon 2.0 vs. Doug Furnas & Philip LaFon: LaFon vs. Diesel kicks things off. Diesel fells LaFon with a shoulderblock, then wrestles the Frenchman into his corner and tags in Razor. LaFon comes back with some chops, corner whip, snapmare into a chinlock, then a cradle pinning combo that gets two. Enter Doug Furnas. Side headlock takeover, Razor escapes, Furnas counters back into the hold. Razor fires back with a couple of forearms, then unleashes the signature punch-punch-tornado punch sequence. Furnas escapes an armbar with something between a back suplex and an electric chair drop. Irish whip, and a nice belly-to-belly by Furnas.



Furnas's momentum is slowed by a cheap knee to the back by Diesel from the apron. Diesel tags in and delivers a hard running clothesline. Forearms, corner whip, hard clothesline in the corner. Tag to Razor, who hits a pumphandle suplex. The gimmick rehash crew is controlling too much of this offense. After a commercial, Furnas is well into a heat segment and gets blocked from making the hot tag to LaFon. How "how" can a tag to LaFon be? I mean, he was a great hand in the ring, but who's actually going to be excited that he finally got the tag? Should have reversed their roles IMO. Diesel drops the leg along the neck of Furnas as Furnas is draped along the middle rope.

We finally see the hot tag to LaFon. Throws a spinning back kick and then an enziguri on Diesel. Spinning wheel kick gets two. Diesel counters into a backdrop, LaFon tries to re-counter into a sunset flip, can't quite get the big man over, but Furnas comes in with a dropkick that makes Diesel fall back into the pin. 1, 2…no, not quite. LaFon jumps off the ropes, but catches a big boot from Diesel. Tag to Razor, who immediately eats a Northern lights suplex from LaFon. Tag to Furnas, who Razor almost immediately attempts to hit the Razor's Edge on. LaFon runs interference to stop it. Furnas hits a hurracanrana, but Diesel breaks up the pin. Furnas and LaFon clear Diesel out of the ring, then set out to double-team Razor. Top-rope clothesline by LaFon into a cradle pin by Furnas, 1-2-3. This wasn't all that good.



Result: Doug Furnas & Philip LaFon via pinfall

We see clips of last week's ending, featuring HHH trying to kidnap Marlena and the collision among Goldust, Marlena, and HHH. Next week we'll get a really uninteresting tag team match, HHH and Jerry Lawler vs. Goldust and Marc Mero.

We also see the aforementioned clip of Marlena flashing at Shotgun Saturday Night. On TV you just see it from behind.



We get a backstage promo from Bret Hart. He says he knows that Shawn Michaels is likely to break his word and interfere in his match tonight. In response, he basically tells him to bring it. Bret turns his attention to talking about Vader. "He's big, but he's stupid." As he continues the promo, Sid's music starts off-camera. Bret gets perturbed about the music interruption and leaves.

Jim Ross is in the ring to interview Sid. Sid says that he's not intimidated by anyone. He continues on about the WWF as a whole, saying, "You have to hit or be hitten. You have to be kick or be kicken." Great stuff, Sid. Because you have to hit before being…hitten, he adds, "Sometimes you have to hit someone with a camera before they hit you first." He clearly loses his place in the middle of some basic signature lines at the end of the interview as well, before wrapping the promo up. He struggled hard on this night.



At the conclusion of Sid's promo, before he leaves the ring, Shawn Michaels comes out and heads to the commentary table. Shawn dances on the table. Sid laughs and says that he wants to apologize…for what he's gonna do. He continues laughing maniacally as he leaves.

Bret Hart vs. Vader: Vince notes that Jim Cornette isn't here tonight because of an incident on Superstars this past weekend when The Undertaker attacked and tombstoned Cornette. Vader powers Bret out of an initial lockup, then bullies him with rights and lefts in the corner. He dumps the Hitman through the ropes, then follows him out to the floor. Bret reverses a whip outside, and sends Vader hurtling into the steel steps. Hart executes an elbow off those same steps onto Vader. He throws a couple of rights before smashing the big man into the guardrail, then returns him inside.

Bret with an arm-wringer into an armbar. He works that arm with a kneedrop and a legdrop. Back to a vertical base, Vader sends Bret off the ropes, misses with a clothesline but connects on a shoulderblock to knock the Hitman to the mat. More rights and lefts in the corner, as he manhandles Hart. Short clothesline. Vader hits a jumping clothesline off the ropes, and Stone Cold is shown watching on a monitor in the back as the match goes to break.



Back from commercial, Vader drops a big splash off the second rope. He only gets two, which he openly announced by completing the splash and then shifting his weight over so that Bret could have plenty of legroom to kick out.



Shawn Michaels again talks about how Bret is no angel. "Believe me. I'd like to come clean about that, but <looking at Vince> I know you'd smack me down…" Vince then breaks in over the top of him and just calls the match. Vader sets up for a Vaderbomb. Then he stops and teases a climb to the top for a moonsault. He moves back down to go ahead with the Vaderbomb, but by then Bret gets his knees up. Series of rights from Bret, and a Russian legsweep. Bodyslam with a surprising amount of ease given the size difference. Elbow off the ropes gets two. Back suplex.

Bret goes for a cross-body, Vader sort of catches him, but the momentum still carries him back and they both tumble out over the top. Both slow to get up. They brawl a bit when suddenly Sid shows up and grabs a cameraman, pulling him toward the back with him. Instead of following that though, they go to another camera angle at ringside, and suddenly Steve Austin is out there attacking and hitting the Stunner on Bret while the referee is distracted.



Vader pulls Bret into the ring, sets him in the corner, Vaderbomb, 1-2-3.

Result: Vader via pinfall

A couple of minutes later, we finally do join Sid in the back, and he's choking Jose Lothario's son Pete. Michaels goes sprinting toward the back, but he's not in time…Sid powerbombs Pete Lothario on a table that doesn't break. Damn, I had no memory of that, but that was a pretty cool moment.



After a commercial, Shawn is back there and tending to Pete Lothario along with a few jobbers (Savio Vega, Aldo Montoya, Bart Gunn). They replay the powerbomb in slow motion one more time as the show goes off the air.

Overall: Decent episode. Owen vs. Mankind was good. Bret vs. Vader was okay, but nothing special. Tag match was fairly dull. The Sid/Shawn stuff was fairly entertaining. All in all, I'll take it.

NITRO

Monroe, LA

After the opening credits, we skip the usual banter and head straight to the ring. They do advertise Lord Steven Regal vs. DDP and Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett for later, as well as (unfortunately) Lex Luger vs. Meng.



Glacier vs. Bobby Eaton: Glacier with an early leg-sweep. Eaton fights back and gets some licks in, but Glacier fires back with a hip-toss and an armdrag. After an Irish whip, Eaton botches the hell out of a damn leapfrog…he really needed to be put out to pasture by this point. Glacier hits him with a spinning heel kick, goes for the pin, and Eaton kicks out while beind held down…Glacier looks confused, and I think he believed that was supposed to be the finish. A back kick directly afterward does get the three-count.

Result: Glacier via pinfall

After a commercial, we get our first visit with Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko at the announce table. Schiavone and Zbyszko both take a moment to appeal to Roddy Piper to join WCW officially and become part of the leadership. They transition to the past couple of weeks of feud build-up between Konnan and Big Bubba. Last week Mr. Wallstreet subbed in for Bubba for whatever reason, and lost that strap match to Konnan.

Mexican Strap Match - Konnan (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Big Bubba: I have no idea how a "Mexican Strap Match" differs from a "Strap Match." Tony Schiavone explains that "a Mexican strap match means that the winner must touch all four corners." So it's really just a strap match with a Mexican as one of the wrestlers? Sting vs. Vader remains my favorite Mexican Strap Match of all time. Bubba and Konnan attach to the strap and kick things off. Bubba gets the better of a punching exchange, then begins using the strap as a weapon, first as a whip and then as a garrote. Jimmy Hart takes the opportunity to trip him from outside, which turns the tides as it creates an opening for Konnan to get some whips in as well.

However, Bubba fights back and puts Konnan down, then takes a leisurely trip around to touch three corners before being interrupted by Konnan jumping on his shoulders. This is a dull affair, just lots of aimless brawling for the most part. Konnan baseball slides through Bubba's legs, crotches Bubba with the strap, then goes around touching the corners. 1, 2, 3…before the 4th, Bubba jerks him back to interrupt him, then boots him to knock him all the way down.



That's clearly supposed to break the count under strap match rules, but then Konnan gets up, Bubba knocks him into that 4th corner, and referee Mark Curtis declares Konnan the victor. Well that was incredibly stupid.

Result: Konnan via referee blindness

Bubba beats Konnan down after the match. Nobody cares.

Mean Gene is in the locker room with Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan says that things aren't over between he and Chris Benoit. Gene says he has a videotape to show, but Sullivan stops him and says he doesn't want to see any more tapes of "Nancy" and Benoit. Gene says that the tape isn't of Woman, but of somebody else. Sullivan: "What are you talking about?" Gene: "I think you know what I'm talking about." Sullivan: "It better not be that." Gene: "That's exactly what I'm talking about. Do you care to pursue it?" Sullivan leaves without a word. No idea what that's about.



After commercial, Gene is at the top of the aisle, and brings out the Four Horsemen. Here's Ric Flair, Mongo McMichael, Debra, Arn Anderson…no Benoit or Woman. Arn comments about them not being here, then asks Flair if he has any idea where they are. Would he not have already asked him that backstage? Flair says, "After being married to the Devil for 10 years, Woman deserves a night out with Benoit. And I'm sure that Benoit is working her out as we speak, in true Horseman fashion." Debra says that she's sick of "this Chris and Nancy stuff." She tells the crowd, "You haven't seen her in the back without any makeup on. She is as ugly as grandpa's toenails, no lie." She compliments Flair, Arn, and "Steven" for always being there, then goes on to praise Jeff Jarrett.



Dammit, she says Jarrett's name and he appears. Jarrett asks Flair, "Do you want a part-time Horseman like Chris Benoit, or do you want a full-time Horseman?" Arn jumps in: "I'm gonna answer that question. #1 pal, you're not a Horseman. #2, if you aspire to be a Horseman, you're gonna quit crybabying, you're gonna quit being a victim. Horsemen aren't victims; we're perpetrators." Jarrett tells Arn that he and Benoit gave him their best shot at Starrcade, and he still came out on top. Jeff continues, "Arn, you've played second fiddle your whole career. To Ole, to Tully, and to this man. So I didn't come to talk to the horse's rear, I came to talk to the lead horse." Damn, shots fired. Arn correctly hauls off on him with a hard right and then continues to attack him down the aisle.



Arn beats him repeatedly toward the ring, rolls him into the ring, and a bell goes off, so I guess we have an impromptu match.

Arn Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett: Arn continues to lay an ass-kicking on Jarrett as the crowd chants "DDT." Jarrett temporarily fights back, but Arn pulls him out of the ring, then slams his face into a platform outside. Arn returns inside, but gets caught off-guard by a swinging neckbreaker by Jarrett. Jarrett quickly covers, puts his feet on the ropes for leverage, and records a three-count. Gross.

Result: Jeff Jarrett via pinfall

Flair first argues with the referee, then gets in Debra's face for seeming to side with Jarrett. Mongo takes umbrage to Flair confronting Debra. Angry shouting all around…except for Debra, she seems to be enjoying the whole thing.



As the fracas settles down, Mongo seems to accept Jarrett. Flair says, "If Mongo is okay with it, he's okay with me." I thought Flair had been on Jarrett's side all along, but alright. Arn doesn't like it, but Flair shakes Jarrett's hand and struts with him. Arn says something akin to "**** this" and leaves angrily. Flair tries to settle him down, but the whole thing doesn't really resolve as Nitro goes to commercial.

Diamond Dallas Page's music hits for the next match, but he never comes out. It eventually stops, and Steven Regal's music starts. Regal does enter. As his music fades out, we hear…Hacksaw Jim Duggan's music. ****ing hell. This is not the first time that a wrestler fails to appear on Nitro and then it's ****ing Duggan who steps up to the plate. Is he just desperately hanging out in gorilla position for all of every Nitro?

TV Title - Lord Steven Regal (c) vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan: As this match starts, Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash, and Syxx appear at the top of the aisle. They head over to the announce table. Schiavone and Zbyszko surrender their headsets without incident, so now we get a really annoying announce team to call a Jim Duggan match.



Nash and Bischoff say that DDP is off having dinner with Scott Hall, working out a deal, and that DDP is the newest member of the nWo. The announcers largely distract from the match, but it's a Duggan match, so let's just assume that there's been a lot of punches and clotheslines.

Duggan with a shoulderblock, a side headlock, Regal tries to throw him off into the ropes and then drops down, but Duggan stops short and stomps on him. Hacksaw tries to follow with a backdrop, but drops his head too early and gets kicked in the face. Regal tries to deconstruct the challenger on the mat, first with a couple of holds and then by raking the face with his boots. He gets in an eye gouge for good measure a moment later. Drop toe-hold by Regal into a reverse chinlock. Bischoff says that he went out and recruited someone to be the ideal candidate to join the nWo, and that would be coming soon. They also take some shots at Randy Savage, with Bischoff specifically saying "if you want go join some rinky-dink wrestling organization, go ahead." I wonder if there was any chance of Savage going back to WWF during this time, as his contract was up.

Duggan pulls out the tape, tapes his fist, clocks Regal in the face and seems to knock him out, but as Duggan goes for the pin the bell goes off; we have a time limit draw. I'm just glad it's over.



Result: Time Limit Draw

During the commercial, the nWo relinquishes the broadcast table back to Schiavone and Zbyszko.

Hugh Morrus vs. Jim Powers (w/ Teddy Long): I can hardly conceive of a less interesting match. Powers throws a dropkick off an Irish whip. Sends Morrus into the ropes with another whip, but misses a clothesline, Morrus grabs him and slams him, then capitalizes quickly with the No Laughing Matter moonsault. Thankfully this was just a quick squash.



Result: Hugh Morrus via pinfall

After a commercial, Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay are along to replace Larry Zbyszko for the second hour of the show. We get clips of the earlier Horseman implosion and some chatter about that, then head to the ring.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.: Well this is pleasantly out of place from the rest of tonight's matchups so far. Psicosis with a shoulderblock, then a hip-toss over the top rope. He goes out to the apron and sort of botches a split-legged springboard moonsault. Rey tries to take over, rolling Psicosis inside, but his springboard move just ends up jumping into a Psicosis dropkick. Hard running clothesline by the larger luchador, who heads up top and hits a spinning wheel kick from there. Two-count.



He drapes Rey along the bottom rope and hits a guillotine legdrop. Knocks Mysterio to the outside, heads up top, loses his balance and falls off once, heads back up and takes a pretty good guardrail bump jumping to the floor at Mysterio.



Rey charges at the ropes from the ring and fakes a move, then executes a somersault plancha over the top. He returns Psicosis to the apron, Psicosis attacks back there, but Rey launches him into the post, and Psicosis falls into the ring. Crappy split-legged moonsault by Rey gets two. Victory roll gets another two. Grounded headscissor by Mysterio, as the two take a rest. Psicosis claws his way free and slams Mysterio, then climbs to the top, delays significantly, but still connects on his guillotine legdrop from way up high. Only gets two though.

Powerbomb by Psicosis. Two, as Rey gets a leg on the rope. Off an Irish whip, he picks Rey up for maybe another powerbomb attempt, but Rey rolls through with sort of a sunset flip into a driving pinfall attempt and gets a believable near-fall. Psicosis is up angry, kicking and stomping at Mysterio. He charges Rey at the ropes, Rey sidesteps, Psicosis misses a dropkick and hurts himself. Rey capitalizes with the hurracanrana into a pinning combo and scores the pinfall. Good match.



Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall

The Taskmaster (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.: Taskmaster jumps Chavo right away and dumps him out of the ring. Chavo is back up quickly, re-entering with a missile dropkick as Taskmaster was trying to shed his robe. Taskmaster right back on offense though, again dumping Chavo outside and taking the brawl there, hitting him hard into the steel steps, the guardrail, and one of the ringposts. Rolls the younger Guerrero inside, sets him up in the tree of woe in one corner and hits him hard with a running knee. Stupid ****ing double-stomp, pin, 1-2-3.



Result: The Taskmaster via pinfall

We get clips of Roddy Piper being stretchered off last week. The announcers try to decipher what he was saying while on the stretcher, but it just sounds like pure nonsense rather than actual words. They continue showing the entire sequence of him being wheeled back that wasn't shown last week; Giant's altercation with the nWo was happening at the same time. Schiavone tried to introduce this as though we were supposed to take something away from what Piper was saying, but throughout this he admits, "Yep, can't understand anything he was saying at all. Oh wells." No idea what the point of that was.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Alex Wright: Handshake to start. After separating, Wright cinches in a waistlock, then they go hold for counterhold before resetting. Flying headscissor by Eddie. Follow with a dropkick attempt that Wright sets aside, after which Wright hits a dropkick headscissor, and another dropkick that clears the ring. Eddie regroups and returns. Snapmare by Guerrero into a reverse chinlock. Side headlock takeover. Wright counters into a grounded headscissor, Eddie escapes, and we have another reset. Wright was certainly capable at this chain wrestling stuff, and was a good worker in general…it's a bit unfortunate that he got so lost in the shuffle.

Knee to the gut by Eddie, then a jumping back elbow. Slams Wright, then performs his signature slingshot splash from the apron. Armbar. Couple of European uppercuts by Eddie. Wright reverses a whip, hits a clothesline, two-count. Applies almost a sleeper on the ground. Transitions into some hold where he grips Guerrero's face, then a headscissor. Back to a vertical position, Wright gets his own European uppercut in before snapmaring Eddie to the mat and returning to a rest hold. Here's Syxx, because if there's one thing you need during a match between good workers, it's an appearance by Sean Waltman. He brings out a ladder, then scales it and sits atop it while wearing Guerrero's US Title belt.



Guerrero sees Syxx and gets distracted. Wright with the distraction roll-up, but it only gets two. Wright suplex into a bridging pin, also just two. Backbreaker by Das Wunderkind. Still no pinfall. Wright with a sunset flip off the top rope. Two. Belly-to-belly. Two. Wright misses on a corner charge and gets back suplexed by Guerrero. Wright reverses a whip and hits a wheel kick. Up to the top rope, and Alex connects on a double axhandle. Northern lights suplex, again just a two-count.



Guerrero catches him climbing up to the top, follows him, superplex, frog splash, three-count.



Result: Eddie Guerrero via pinfall

As soon as he wins, Guerrero goes charging after Syxx, but Syxx escapes.

The Amazing French Canadians (w/ Col. Parker) vs. Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri): Double-team by the Heat from the start, as they clear Carl Ouellet out of the ring and then double-suplex Jacques Rougeau. Booker gives way to Stevie Ray as the first legal man. Powerslam by Stevie before tagging out. Jacques reverses a whip and tries a backdrop, but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Elbow-drop by Booker misses, spinaroonie to return to his feet, and the Harlem side kick connects. Carl Ouellet in illegally, he attacks Booker while the referee is distracted. Jacques rams Booker into the steps outside. The Canadians double-team him in the corner.

Piledriver by Rougeau. Tag back to Ouellet, Jacques stays in to slap on a Boston crab, big legdrop off the top by Ouellet. Stevie makes the save on a pin attempt. As the referee tries to clear Stevie out, the Canadians attempt to hit Booker with their flag. Ouellet accidentally hits Rougeau, the Heat activate their double-team move…Stevie starts a powerbomb, Booker hammers Jacques down from the top rope, and apparently they call that the "Heat Bomb." It gets the win.



Result: Harlem Heat via pinfall

We get clips of Sting's appearance at Starrcade, where he whispered to both Lex Luger and The Giant before shoving Nick Patrick out of the ring and then dropping his baseball bat in the middle of the ring.

Lex Luger vs. Meng: Luger works Meng into a corner, gives a clean break, and of course Meng is there with the cheap shot. Luger gets a boot up on Meng's ensuing backdrop attempt. Corner whip by Lex, but runs into an elbow by Meng on the charge that follows Running clothesline by the Samoan, who then drives a boot into Luger's throat. Hard chop and a series of boots by Meng in the corner. He continues to work Lex over with basic punch-kick-stomp-chop stuff. There's a shoulderbreaker. And a piledriver. 1-2-no. Luger ducks a running clothesline, then delivers one of his own that only staggers Meng. Running forearm to follow does put Meng down on the mat.

Backdrop by Lex. Scoop powerslam off an Irish whip. Two. Mike Tenay comments that both men have kicked out of each other's finishing moves, which is an odd thing to say since that hasn't actually happened. Meng comes up empty on a corner charge, staggers backward, Luger picks him up in the Torture Rack, and then Meng's leg knocks referee Mark Curtis out. Man, I have to say I was curious as to whether we would actually see a Meng submission, and the answer is that apparently we won't. With Curtis down, Barbarian comes in and attacks, Luger turns the table and powerslams him as well. He racks Barbarian, the referee gets up and somehow mixes up Meng and Barbarian, and he signals for the bell. Okay. So tonight we've learned that Mark Curtis doesn't really understand the rules of a strap match and can't tell the difference between Meng and the Barbarian. Give that man a promotion.



Result: Lex Luger defeats Meng via submission by racking some other guy

Out for our final segment is Hulk Hogan, along with his posse of Eric Bischoff, Miss Elizabeth, Scott Norton, Vincent, Nick Patrick, Big Bubba, Marcus Bagwell, Mike Rotundo, Ted DiBiase, fake Sting…basically everyone but the Kliq guys. Bischoff is first on the mic. He commends Hogan on beating Roddy Piper twice in one week and then taking on The Giant singlehandedly. Before this gets very far, Giant charges toward the ring and enters. Kevin Nash is suddenly in the ring and charges at Giant first. Giant dispatches of Nash with surprising ease, clearing him out of the ring. He clears the entire nWo out here, the exact way I was hoping he would last week. Hogan and Bischoff are the only ones left in the ring. Hogan begs off at first.



Eventually he attacks Giant, but Giant just catches his hand and crumples him to the ground. Bischoff tries to help Hogan by hitting Giant, but Giant just starts to stalk him, and…for ****s sake, this thing was going perfectly, but now the numbers do overwhelm Giant again to lay him out. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. I thought that they were finally doing an ending segment right. They beat down Giant mercilessly, with a series of chair shots by Hulk. The group holds him up and even lets Bischoff kick Giant in the face. The nWo leaves the ring triumphantly.



Giant is lifeless, face-down on the mat, and Bobby Heenan suggests, "They're making a mistake, leaving him laying. They should finish him off." Uhh, what do you mean by "finish him off"? Should they literally kill him? The nWo heads to the announce table and takes it over. As this happens, we see Sting head to the ring. Sting picks Giant up, rolls him over, and yells something at him aggressively, then points his baseball bat in the nWo's direction before leaving the bat behind and exiting the ring.



Vincent returns to the ring, kind of pokes at The Giant to make sure that he's really out, then takes the bat that Sting left behind. Vincent continues poking him with the bat until Giant wakes up, grabs the bat, gets back to his feet, and chokeslams him.



The nWo returns to the ring, but Giant is wielding a bat now and nobody has the guts to re-enter to take him on. They really could have just ended this segment when Giant first cleared everyone out, but The Giant does hold the ring as the show ends.

Overall: Well, Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psicosis was strong, but that was most of what this show had to offer. Lots of bad matches, the story stuff wasn't very interesting…the Horseman stuff was okay, but I sure wish that it was someone besides Jeff Jarrett in that role. Show wasn't very good, but wasn't totally without merit.

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Ratings for 1/6/97: Nitro 3, Raw 2.1
Ratings Running Score: Nitro 45-17-2

Better Show: Raw wins the night. It was a lot more solid from top to bottom, despite Nitro giving us the single best match of the night.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 49-15

Match of the Night: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psicosis

It's a funny thing about that. When I was reading Mick Foley's Have A Nice Day book, he mentions that Vince and Bill Watts was like "Well, couldn't I just bite his damn fingers off?" when Mick told them that his finisher will be the Mandible Claw. So, like a moron (Don't try this at home, they say), I try to apply the claw on myself and funny enough, my teeth could not bite my fingers when it was applied and yes, the jaw feels a bit stinged after the claw was applied. Granted, eventually, when we hit late 1998-1999 and Mankind would use Mr. Socko for the claw, I think that was the proper move, since it would so hard to discuss why Mankind would use that move as a finisher when people could bite his fingers off.

January 13, 1997

NITRO

New Orleans, LA

The opening credits get interrupted by The Giant storming through the locker room and raging his way into the nWo locker room. Security holds him back and pulls him out of the room as he screams "COWARD!" repeatedly. Giant and Hogan are scheduled to square off in the main event of nWo Souled Out, and Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko speculate that Hogan is backing out of his match with Giant.

J.L. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.: J.L. with a fireman carry takeover to start. Chavo puts him down with an armdrag in return. The two run the ropes, leapfrog and then a monkey-flip by Chavo. He follows with a headscissor, then dropkicks J.L. out of the ring. Pescado. Rolls J.L. back in, but when he tries to follow by climbing the ropes, J.L. dropkicks upward to knock him all the way to the floor, then gets nice elevation on a cross-body to the floor from the top turnbuckle.



J.L. hurts his knee on landing, but shakes it off and eventually resumes offense. He rams Eddie's nephew into the steel guardrail before returning him inside. Chavo suddenly recovers and greets J.L. with an elbow attempt on his way back in. It misses, but J.L. misses on a slingshot somersault splash attempt from the apron to the inside. The two run the ropes, J.L. ducks a clothesline but doesn't block the ensuing running cross-body by Chavo. Two-count. J.L. again catches Chavo climbing up top, hits him and crotches him, follows and connects on a super hurracanrana. Two.

Chavo reverses an Irish whip and hits a jumping back elbow(?). Heads up top, top-rope moonsault ships it. Surprisingly big pop for that win.



Result: Chavo Guerrero Jr. via pinfall

After the match, Tony is now talking very matter-of-factly about how Hogan is out of his scheduled match with The Giant.

Before the next match, which will apparently feature Jim ****ing Duggan, Mean Gene grabs a word with Duggan. Duggan brings out a purple and gold WCW flag instead of an American flag. Duggan says that he's setting aside the country's flag in order to stand up to the nWo. I don't know what special powers he thinks flags have. He continues on and challenges Sting to "be a man" and join the cause.

Apparently our match is to be Duggan vs. Super Calo, but as Duggan gets in the ring, he gets ambushed by Sting. Sting consistently jumps the guys who talk **** about him. He leaves Duggan laying with a Scorpion Death Drop.



Larry Zbyszko screams, "He's with the nWo!" Larry has to be one of those rubes who immediately declares "game over" when his team gives up a touchdown on the first drive of the game. I, for one, appreciate that Sting spared us from having to watch a Duggan match. Larry carries on about it for minutes as if we just watched Hogan legdrop Randy Savage.

Chris Jericho vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman: Spinning wheel kick by Jericho early on. Schiavone mentions that Jericho is going to be taking on Masa MY HERO Chono HAR HAR HAR at nWo Souled Out. Pittman sidesteps a charge by Jericho, Jericho spills through to the apron, Pittman celebrates prematurely, and Jericho takes advantage by heading up top and surprising Pittman with a missile dropkick to score a quick pin.



Result: Chris Jericho via pinfall

High Voltage vs. Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri): High Voltage's entrance music consists of the sound of a few watts of voltage and then basically silence as the guys awkwardly walk to the ring. Booker T takes the fight to Kenny Kaos right away. He executes a basic backdrop that Kaos botches entirely, to Booker's visible irritation. That's now ay to get a more consistent spot on Nitro, Kaos. He does get a token clothesline, then tags in Robbie Rage, who enters with a slingshot legdrop.

Suddenly we get a cut-in, with The Giant busting into the nWo locker room backstage. Security again pulls him out of there. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff laugh it up and mock him for not making sure he got a contract for the scheduled title shot. Back to the match, the Heat double-team Robbie Rage, with Booker hitting a very nice Harlem side kick. Follows with a side salto. He misses the ensuing elbow off the second rope, allowing Kaos to make the tag in. Butterfly suplex by Kaos, Stevie Ray in for the save, referee Mark Curtis insistently pushes Robbie Rage out of the ring, Stevie sets Kaos on his shoulders, missile dropkick by Booker (Schiavone calls it the Heatseeker, after just recently coining another combo move the Heat Bomb), and that'll do it.



Result: Harlem Heat via pinfall

Stevie Ray stares into the camera and warns everyone not to forget about the best in the business. Must be nice to have a really talented brother.

After commercial, Tony Schiavone says that he's just gotten word that the WCW Championship Committee is meeting and is going to make a ruling on this Hogan/Giant situation. After he announces that, we get the nWo music and the emergence of Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase, and Vincent. Tony and Larry give away their headsets without a struggle. Even if just for one match, I sure hope this isn't going to become a weekly thing.

Bischoff and DiBiase declare Sting to be theirs, and Bischoff sends it to a montage video of Sting.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mark Starr: Page is another one that Bischoff and DiBiase claim to be theirs. No nWo shirt though. DDP hits a double-arm DDT, hits a Diamond Cutter that Starr takes terribly, and records the almost immediate pin.

Result: DDP via pinfall

Enter Scott Hall and Kevin Nash. DDP greets Nash with a hug. Hall tosses Page an nWo t-shirt…Page puts it on, but then hits a Diamond Cutter on Hall and dodges a charging Nash to send Nash bumbling out of the ring as well. Bischoff and DiBiase flip out as the crowd cheers the swerve by Page, who goes out into the audience to celebrate. Fun moment.



After commercial we get a pre-taped nWo commercial of Hall and Nash cutting a promo on the Steiner Brothers. Apparently that's another Souled Out match.

Schiavone says that the WCW Championship Committee is en route to the Superdome to make an announcement about the Hogan/Giant thing.

Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero: Dean and Eddie play cat-and-mouse for a bit before locking up. Arm-wringer by Eddie, who wrestles Malenko to the mat as he cinches in an armbar. Malenko slowly makes his way most of the way to his feet, then makes a smooth trip to take Eddie down. Eddie starts to reverse, and the two separate and reset. Side headlock takeover by Guerrero. Malenko pushes him into the ropes, Eddie with a shoulderblock, Dean back up quickly, and he hits a leg lariat. Snapmare and a reverse chinlock by Malenko. Guerrero powers his way back to his feet, then reverses the arm hold and turns Malenko around into sort of a standing surfboard, then executes a back suplex. As this is happening, Tony Schiavone gets word and makes the big announcement that not only will Hulk Hogan have to face The Giant, but he'll have to do it tonight.

Slingshot splash by Eddie. Two-count. Dean, from a seated position, pulls Eddie out of the ring by the tights. Guerrero re-enters, single-leg takedown into a grapevine. Stands up, kicks at this leg, then slaps on a figure-four. Dean reaches out and keeps Guerrero's leg up in order to prevent him from fully locking the hold on.



After great struggle, Malenko loses his grip on the leg, Guerrero's leg slips into place, and Malenko begins agonizing in the hold. He's able to will his way to the ropes to force a break, then slides out to try to walk his new injury off. He takes a full lap around the ring and goes back in. Kick to Guerrero's gut, and hammers him in the back of the neck with a couple of elbows. Attempts a powerbomb, countered into an armdrag, but Malenko hits a flying headscissor. Follows with a monkey-flip, but Guerrero counters directly after into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Two.

Eddie goes for a tornado DDT from the second rope, but Malenko throws him off with authority and sends him flying across the ring. Whip by Dean, and he follows him in with an aggressive knee to the gut. Now into an abdominal stretch. He slowly pulls Eddie toward the mat while maintaining the hold, and has him in sort of an octopus down on the mat. He transitions into a pin attempt, but it's too close to the ropes. Sunset flip attempt by Eddie, but Dean punches down to break that up. And…here's Syxx in the crowd, climbing a ladder. Get him the **** away from a Dean vs. Eddie match. Also why the hell do wrestling promoters think that a guy climbing a ladder and hanging out on it is such a great way to build a ladder match? Nobody doubts that these guys are capable of climbing ladders.



Malenko with a chinlock. Releases it and lays in some forearms. It becomes a slugfest, with Guerrero firing back and sending Malenko to the mat with a European uppercut. He locks up Malenko in a submission hold, Malenko slips out, the two trade pinning combos including an eventual backslide by Guerrero that created a believable near-fall, but no dice. Clothesline by Dean gets two. Eddie counters out of a wristlock by suddenly scaling the ropes, jumping off with a hurracanrana into a pin, 1-2-nope.

Corner whip by Guerrero, Malenko floats over the turnbuckle. Guerrero blocks an axhandle, waistlock, Malenko go-behind, then Malenko hits a delayed brainbuster that still only gets two. Guerrero escapes a following suplex attempt, rolls him up from behind, two. Guerrero can play the brainbuster game as well, as he plants Malenko. He sees Syxx and gets distracted by him. Climbs the turnbuckle, Dean capitalizes with a powerbomb, 1-2-3. Lame ending.



Really the match didn't ever fully get going to the level you would like to see out of these two…the chain wrestling was pristine, the two were working together flawlessly, but it never ramped up to any sort of real greatness. I still did basically enjoy watching, but it was disappointing; I'd probably only give it something like **3/4.

Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall

Back from break, we're into the second hour, and Larry Zbyszko has cleared out to give way to Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan. They chat a bit about the Giant/Hogan situation.

Super Calo vs. Konnan (w/ Jimmy Hart): Well this is a better opponent for Calo than Duggan, even if I'm not a Konnan fan. Konnan and Calo trade early pin attempts that both prove fruitless. Springboard armdrag by Calo, another couple of armdrags to follow, a front dropkick sends Konnan out of the ring, then Calo follows quickly with a somersault dive through the middle ropes. The impact wasn't perfect, but the spot still looked really good.



Calo returns things inside, dropping a couple of elbows and getting a two-count. Konnan gets up and absolutely turns Calo inside out with a hard running clothesline. Two consecutive powerbombs by Konnan. Hops up to the middle rope, but Calo follows him up and quickly executes a reverse hurracanrana. Back to their feet, Konnan reverses an Irish whip, then Calo badly botches a cross-body attempt that it looks like Konnan was supposed to catch anyway. Fisherman buster by Konnan gets him to the pay window. Entertaining match, better than I expected.



Result: Konnan via pinfall

Before the next match, we get a pre-taped promo from Kevin Sullivan, who implies that he and Benoit will be facing off next Monday in Chicago.

Also before the next match, Tony Schiavone clarifies that the Hogan vs. Giant match tonight will be non-title.

Chris Benoit (w/ Woman) vs. Jeff Jarrett: Benoit with a fireman carry takeover to open. Jarrett blocks a hip-toss, puts Benoit down, and taunts with his signature strut to heavy booing. Benoit looks on with contempt, but waits to fully reset. The crowd rises to their feet, and here comes Mongo McMichael, Debra, and Arn Anderson headed to the ring. Those three surround the ring as Benoit clotheslines Jarrett and then slams Jarrett down again by the hair. Jarrett reverses a corner whip and follows in with a clothesline. Legdrop along the ropes by Jarrett gets two. Hits a nice stun gun directly after.



Benoit reverses a corner whip, but Jarrett bounces out of the corner with a good swinging neckbreaker. Benoit certainly brings out Jarrett's best work. Jarrett gets distracted by Arn Anderson squabbling with referee Mark Curtis, and Benoit blindsides the wannabe Horseman with a punch. Amid this distraction, the two near the ropes. Mongo wants to hit Jarrett with the briefcase, Debra doesn't want to give it up, then by the time Mongo wrestles it away from her he accidentally hits Benoit instead.



Jarrett mops up with a pin right after the briefcase shot. Mongo is pissed; Debra is pleased.

Result: Jeff Jarrett via pinfall

Arn throws a fit at Mongo and Debra, Mongo insists that he didn't mean to do that, and…they all just sort of head up the aisle. Oh, it's interview time with Gene. Benoit insists that they're going to resolve this here and now. He dresses Mongo down for "fumbling the ball," and says this doesn't seem like it's an elite team right now. Benoit continues on, saying that he himself is a Horseman because Arn hand-picked him, then points at Mongo and says, "You became a Horseman because of an unfortunate circumstance." That seems like it can only be a reference to Brian Pillman leaving the company? Benoit threatens Debra to stop badmouthing Woman, "Because Woman is 100% woman from head to toe, and I speak from experience. There is no plastic, zero silicone…she is all woman."



Mongo apologizes for ****ing up during that match just now. Benoit turns to Arn and demands to know where Ric Flair is. Arn says that Flair doesn't want any part of this personal stuff, and that this is a business. Benoit turns back to Mongo and tells him to shape up or ship out. Debra interjects to say how hurt she is that Benoit and Woman would accuse her of gossiping. Mongo says that he's man enough to have apologized for what just happened, but says that if Benoit doesn't want to accept that, they can go right now. Arn steps in between. Mongo and Debra exit. Benoit yells at Arn that he's been holding up his end of the deal, and wants the rest of the group to hold up theirs. He and Woman leave. Arn expresses his anger and frustration with the whole thing, then leaves as well. This story felt like it was off the rails here, which is saying something because it wasn't very interesting even when it was on the rails.

Billy Kidman vs. Scotty Riggs: Riggs still comes out to the "AMERICAN MALES AMERICAN MALES AMERICAN MALES" song. And still does the lame overhead clapping. Poor bastard. Schiavone notes that the American Males will explode at nWo Souled Out, as we'll see Riggs take on Marcus Bagwell (not yet going by "Buff"). Couple of move-countermove sequences between Riggs and Kidman. Riggs throws an armdrag. Kidman with a flying headscissor, a dropkick, and an armdrag of his own. He locks in an armbar, Riggs works his way up and punches his way loose. He whips Kidman off the ropes, tosses him up, drops him. Marc Bagwell shows up at the top of the aisle, wearing obnoxious bling.



Bagwell says, "He's fat, and I'm buff." There's the start of the name transition. Kidman misses on a shooting star press when Riggs rolls out of the way. Fisherman suplex by Riggs gets the win. Schiavone says, "I'm gonna start calling that the Ameriplex!" How about no, Tony.



Result: Scotty Riggs via pinfall

The announcers spend a couple of minutes plugging Hogan vs. Giant a bit more.

Lex Luger vs. Rick Fuller: Not that I really enjoy them much, but these weekly Luger squashes were a good, effective idea. WCW had a massive roster and could just keep throwing new bodies at Lex, and the crowd was into it. Fuller is just a generic big man; he does get the token offense, including a series of chops on Luger in the corner, but obviously it's job city for him. Luger ducks a clothesline, lays in a series of rights, three straight running forearms, and the crowd is going absolute ape**** in anticipation of the Torture Rack before he even signals for it.



He does slap it on, and it's obviously over in a hurry from there.

Result: Lex Luger via submission

As Luger exits and heads up the aisle, The Giant emerges at the top of the aisle. They stare each other down, then slowly walk past each other and let it go right there.



Giant gets into the ring, where Mean Gene is waiting. Giant says that this thing tonight is not about nWo, and is not about WCW. It's about Hogan and him. He cuts some nonsensical promo about how he was a bookend for the nWo, and how he isn't anymore, so now the books are falling apart, and he's read every single one of the books, and tonight he's going to close the chapter on Hulkamania.

Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner (w/ Scott Steiner): Arn slaps on a side headlock, then blocks a hip-toss attempt and takes Rick down, then barks to the audience to mock him. Some good face acting here by Arn, as he's clearly playing up the story of being a bit distracted by the Horseman nonsense but is trying to power through. Steiner throws a nice overhead belly-to-belly.

As Arn takes a break on the outside, Tony Schiavone makes an announcement: they'll be bringing us Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant tonight on TNT. But at 10:00, TNT will also be bringing us The New Adventures of Robin Hood. The match would break in during the commercial breaks. I immediately remember this bull****. They built to this match all night, then get up to now and say "LOL by the way, you only get snippets in the middle of some other TNT show." Absolutely shameful. I remember vividly that I said "**** that" and turned it off at the end of the TV time. If Raw puts up any sort of semi-respectable effort, I'm giving it the win tonight because of this. Obviously on the Network I won't have to sit through Robin Hood, so I guess I'll see this Giant-Hogan match for the first time tonight.

Arn re-enters, Steiner throws a couple of forearms at him, then a shoulderblock and a powerslam. Mike Tenay comments that during Tony's announcement, Arn was signaling for the Horsemen to come down to help, and nobody showed up. Arn goes for a DDT here, but Steiner counters into a backdrop. Arn yells again for Horseman help. Tenay says that he's getting word that there's a screaming match going on in the back among them. Arn gets knocked out of the ring and just washes his hands of the whole thing. He angrily walks up the aisle and takes the countout loss.



Result: Rick Steiner via countout

Mean Gene grabs a word with the Steiner Brothers in the ring. Scott Steiner rambles nonsensically until the outro music finally cuts him off.

The nWo music hits, and the whole faction except for Hall and Nash come out first, then Hogan appears last to significant heat. It's time for the main event. And it's almost time for Robin Hood. Hogan gets hit by a rubber chicken from the audience on the way to the ring.



Hulk Hogan (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. The Giant: No music for The Giant. As the match is about to start, Schiavone refers to how they're about to throw it to Robin Hood, and calls it "an unprecedented first." Leave it to company shill Tony Schiavone to glorify such a cheap tactic. Instead of immediately starting the match, Hogan stalls outside the ring for a while. Giant finally forcibly pulls him into the ring and slams him. He whips Hogan into the corner, kicks him, knocks him from the ring, and Hulk goes back outside for a rest. Giant chases him down and returns him inside as the show cuts away to Robin Hood.



We join the match in progress during the break. Giant is still controlling the offense against Hogan. Lays in a couple of hard chops and then a clothesline. The big man stomps on Hogan's feet, and…it's time for more Robin Hood. … And we're back. Giant flings Hogan into the ring. Bodyslam. He goes for the chokeslam and Hogan hits a thumb to the throat to get separation. Giant goes back after it, and the whole nWo hits the ring to jump Giant. Giant starts clearing out all of them, and…suddenly it goes black, and that's the end of the show.



Result: The Giant via DQ

Overall: The DDP face turn was pretty good, the Malenko-Guerrero match was decent, but whatever, **** this episode anyway. I give The New Adventures of Robin Hood two thumbs down.

RAW

Albany, NY

We open on a replay of Sid powerbombing Jose Lothario's son on a table backstage, the scene that ended last week's episode. We also see footage from yesterday on Superstars, where apparently Steve Austin Pillmanized Bret Hart's ankle, trapping it in a chair and jumping on it.

Hunter Hearst-Helmsley & Jerry Lawler vs. Marc Mero & Goldust: The Honky Tonk Man is here to replace Jerry Lawler on the announce table, at least for tonight's opener. Vince McMahon mentions that we found out this past weekend that Marlena is fine after last week's collision. Goldust charges in angrily, and we start off quickly with all four men slugging it out. The faces, who have no discernible crowd reaction going for them so far, clear the ring. Match resets at Lawler vs. Mero. Backdrop by the Wildman. Vince advertises that our other matches tonight are going to feature The Undertaker vs. Crush and Rocky Maivia vs. The British Bulldog. I…am not optimistic for this episode.

Mero puts Lawler down with a right hand. Lawler holds Mero and tries to invite a double-team while the referee is distracted, but HHH accidentally clocks Lawler. Things settle down and HHH tags in officially for the first time. Backdrop by Mero, tag to Goldust, and Helmsley immediately bails out to escape Goldust, tagging the King back in. King takes Goldust by the head and tries to ram him into HHH's raised boot on the apron, but again the double-team backfires and Lawler ends up eating Hunter's boot. This match feels completely pointless, and the crowd does not care in the least.



Mero falls into a heat segment as the heels do isolate him a bit. Lawler misses on a fistdrop, Mero makes the semi-hot tag to Goldust, and Helmsley bails when Lawler tries tagging out. King is able to get momentary control, tags in Hunter, double-team attempt again ends in Hunter clocking his own partner. Don't know that I've seen a team bat .000 while making so many double-team attempts in a match. Still, the heels are able to get control again by the time the show goes to break. Back from commercial, Mero gets a boot up to catch Helmsley in the face on a corner charge. Wildman follows with a flying headscissor, makes the semi-hot tag to Goldust, Goldust jumps Helmsley and finally gets some licks in, knocks Lawler down on the apron, couple of uppercuts on Hunter, causing him to stagger back and get caught up in the ropes. Goldust chokes away at Hunter, won't release the hold, and eventually gets disqualified. This match dragged on for an incredibly long time, and was absolutely unwatchable trash, even worse than expected.

Result: Lawler & HHH via DQ



After the match, even Marc Mero tries to pull Goldust out of the choke. Goldust attacks Mero with a series of rights, Mero looks at him angrily and goes "WTF" but then just sort of accepts being hit in the face several times. It's like Mero mistook Goldust for Stephanie McMahon.

Here's a live on-location interview with Shawn Michaels, who is partying with some locals in San Antonio. First we get a pre-taped Sid promo from the Alamodome. "Jose, you are gonna summon all the Mexicans from Mexico and all above here, all above here they will be! 70,000 of them!" Man, I was not aware of what an elite draw Jose Lothario was in 1997.



Before talking with Shawn Michaels, they show replays of Sid attacking Jose Lothario at Survivor Series and Pete Lothario last week on Raw. Shawn says that after last week, he's perfectly willing to get down in the gutter with Sid at Royal Rumble. This is a pretty generic hype promo.



Back into the arena, the electric guitar squeals and Bret Hart limps to the ring in street clothes. We get a fuller replay of Steve Austin setting Bret's ankle in a steel chair and jumping off the ropes on it on Superstars. Bret sits in on commentary.

Before the next match begins, we see that there was an altercation between Marc Mero and Sable on Shotgun Saturday Night. Mero stormed off after they argued, Honky Tonk Man was going to step in and accost her, and Rocky Maivia came out to run Honky off. Mero returned to the ring, upset with Rocky for getting close to his woman. The two ended up trading punches.

British Bulldog (w/ Clarence Mason) vs. Rocky Maivia: The two lock up to a stalemate. After a reset, Rocky throws an armdrag as Bret vows on commentary to still show up and be ready to take on the rest of the roster in the Royal Rumble this Sunday. With that out of the way, Bret really goes to work at putting Rocky over as the most promising wrestler he's ever seen. He goes on to compliment what a great wrestler Rocky Johnson was, and then speaks to how there was nobody tougher than Peter Maivia according to Stu Hart. Maivia leapfrogs Davey, throws a hip-toss, then throws a dropkick. Bulldog threatens to take a walk, but Clarence Mason talks him into turning around and sticking with the match. With reference to the ongoing sub-feud between the Bulldog and Steve Austin, Bret calls Bulldog "the lesser of two evils."

As Bulldog returns inside and the action resumes, Owen Hart emerges from the back and heads to ringside. Bret says that he hopes Owen doesn't mess with him, and comments that things have gone a bit better in the family lately, going on to say that if Owen leaves him alone then he'll leave Owen alone. I didn't remember them laying such an early foundation - no pun intended - for what occurred after WrestleMania. Have to say that makes it even better for me; they were displaying a believable, subtle shift in the family relationships. Owen goes over to the announce table and has a staredown with Bret, seemingly standing there to prevent Bret from getting involved in the match.



After a commercial, British Bulldog is in control, but half the focus is on the continued staredown between Bret and Owen. Bret keeps protesting that he just wants to be left alone to commentate. Delayed suplex by Bulldog on Rocky. Legdrop and a two-count. The two run the ropes and have a mid-ring collision. Both slowly rise, trade right hands, Rocky gets the better of the slugfest and puts Davey down. Couple of running clotheslines by Maivia, then a third one that violently carries both he and Bulldog over the top to the floor.

Bulldog rams Rocky into the guardrail, then suddenly gets blindsided by Stone Cold Steve Austin, as Austin clips his leg and then hits a Stone Cold Stunner. Bret gets up and tries to come to Davey's aid, but Owen, unaware of what's going on, blocks him. Once Owen clues in he joins in pursuit of Stone Cold, but neither catch up, as Owen got a late start and Bret is stuck with a heavy limp that slows him considerably. As this goes on, Davey gets counted out.



Result: Rocky Maivia via countout

Owen Hart and Clarence Mason help Bulldog to the back. Then they immediately cut to a backstage interview with the Nation of Domination, where Clarence Mason is already standing by.



Just a guess, but I think that some of this show is pre-taped. Faarooq says that the Nation will stick together during the Royal Rumble. Crush says that he'll take The Undertaker down "by any means necessary" tonight.

They cut to the live party that Shawn Michaels is hosting in San Antonio, and at the end of the shot we actually see Rocky Maivia show up, fully dressed in a blazer for a night on the town (see upper right, next to pre-Road Dogg Jesse James making an O-face. Vince acknowledges Rocky's arrival.



Dude, is anyone paying even an ounce of attention to continuity tonight? Apparently Rocky is in both New York and San Antonio. Also he was just in the ring, in wrestling gear, two minutes ago. No better way to do battle with the company saying "LOL that show is just taped garbage anyway, don't watch them" than to announce yourself as taped garbage.

The Undertaker vs. Crush: Vince asks Honky Tonk Man if he "has his eye on The Undertaker." You know, the whole protégé thing. Honky says absolutely. Undertaker being repackaged as Honky Tonk Man's protégé sounds like a tremendous idea. Taker gets first entrance for this match, and despite Crush coming down with the entire Nation of Domination along with him, Taker charges up the aisle into the hornet's nest and attacks, grabbing Crush and slamming him hard into the steel steps outside. The action goes inside, Crush tries to fight back, but off an Irish whip Taker counters into a DDT. There's no question that Taker was a far better worker at this point than he was before the Mick Foley series.

The dead man continues on offense with a running clothesline, then executes an arm-wringer and scales the ropes for what would become Old School…but Faarooq shakes the ropes and crotches him. Crush's attempt to capitalize immediately leads him to get backdropped over the top to the floor though, so Faarooq's interference was of little import. Taker grabs Crush back up to the apron and appears to be ready to unleash those Sheamus strikes, but Crush counters by reaching back and hanging him along the top. Crush enters and executes a corner whip, but quickly runs into a big boot, as he continues to be unable to keep an advantage going. Still, he fights relentlessly, managing a big piledriver a moment later.



Finally we have a heat segment, as Crush elbows Taker's throat multiple times while shouting angrily at the crowd. Outside the ring, he drops Taker along the guardrail about as softly as anyone has ever been dropped on a guardrail. As Crush continues with some punch-kick offense, Vader appears at the top of the aisle as Raw goes to break.

After break, Taker tries to fight back from his knees, but Crush puts him back down and continues the slow deconstruction. He gets a two-count after a running clothesline, then locks on a chinlock. This was a surprisingly good brawl early, but it has slowed down to…well, to basically resemble what you would expect from a Crush vs. Undertaker match. Backbreaker by Crush. The ex-con misses on a fistdrop and finally gives up the comeback, as Taker hits his signature flying clothesline. Goes for the tombstone, but Crush counters out of it and hits a belly-to-belly. Crush signals for the heart punch, sets it up, but Taker escapes and hits a chokeslam. The Nation all pours into the ring, so does Vader, and the bell starts ringing.

Result: Undertaker via DQ

I suspect that a large, indecipherable man will be headed to the ring in 3, 2, 1…no? Vader hits a Vaderbomb as PG-13 holds Taker down. And another one. Okay, here Ahmed finally is. The numbers overwhelm Ahmed as well though, and the Nation and Vader beat him down as the show goes off the air.



Overall: Weak go-home show. The Hart/Austin stuff was a bit interesting, but this was generally a very dull show, as they failed to pick up any steam after spending the first 20 minutes sucking the life out of television itself with that terrible tag match.

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Ratings for 1/13/97: Nitro 3.4, Raw 2.3
Ratings Running Score: Nitro 46-17-2

Better Show: Man, I wanted to give this night to Raw after that bull**** move by WCW with the Hogan/Giant match running during TNT commercials, but I think that Nitro was probably the slightly better (less bad) episode on this night.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 50-15

Match of the Night: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

That was so great. I vividly remember watching this live and loving it. Somehow I remember that Konnan/JL match as well. I was a fan of both at the time.

Here is the problem though. The nWo was booked as this outside heel faction. Why would anyone except for nWo members want to be a part of that brand? Kayfabe speaking it made no sense from the beginning.

It isn't even close to how WWE is going to do the brand split. It's not like there is this Smackdown group of wrestlers who are running around creating havoc on every episode of RAW. It's understood that there will be two distinct brands and from a kayfabe POV, both will be legitimate operations where they will get a fair shake. The nWo brand wouldn't have anything close to that

WWF ROYAL RUMBLE '97



San Antonio, TX

We start on a graphic that talks about how Shawn Michaels's primary concern has always been the championship, but that he cared more about the well-being of Jose Lothario at Survivor Series, which ultimately cost him the belt. "Tonight, more than just the championship is on the line," blah blah blah. I'm interested to watch that match, but the Lothario-centric build has been the least interesting thing ever.

Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler comprise our three-man announce crew for the evening. I'm always thankful to see JR show up in the broadcast crew.

After we see the entrance of the challenger, we see a video package to recap the HHH vs. Goldust feud. As the beginnings to "Ode to Joy" pipe through the arena, the Intercontinental Champion enters with a new bodyguard.



Mr. Hughes had prior unremarkable runs as both a wrestler and a bodyguard in WCW and WWF. We haven't seen him in the big two at this point in the better part of four years, as he lost to Mr. Perfect at the inaugural King of the Ring PPV in 1993 and then disappeared shortly after. Spoiler: he will also disappear shortly after this appearance.

Intercontinental Title - Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (w/ Mr. Hughes) (c) vs. Goldust (w/ Marlena): Goldust, seemingly totally unintimidated by Mr. Hughes, charges up the aisle to attack HHH anyway. He drops Helmsley along the steel guardrail. Inside the ring, corner smash, corner mount, and the start of a 10-punch, but HHH counters into an inverted atomic drop. Goes for an early Pedigree, but Goldust counters into a catapult that sends the champion all the way out over the top rope. Goldust goes and gets the steel steps, dropping them on Hunter. Referee Earl Hebner is cool with it. Also Mr. Hughes is nowhere to be seen, so I'm less than impressed with his bodyguarding ability so far. Goldust sets up the stairs and slams HHH on them again, and HHH staggers and throws in an extra Flair-style flop back onto the stairs for a bonus bump.



Goldust pulls HHH up to the apron, but gets hung throat-first across the top rope for his efforts. Helmsley retakes the advantage, chops and kicks to the challenger in the corner. After a corner whip he runs into the boot of Goldust, who fires out with a strong running clothesline. This crowd does not care…the WWF was certainly pushing worthy people in the IC Title picture from a talent standpoint, but none of them were especially over. HHH knocks Goldust to the floor, then jumps off the top with a double axhandle that connects on the floor. He rams the challenger into the ringpost, but makes a silly-looking unforced error when he squares Goldust up along the guardrail and then goes charging knee-first into the guardrail when Goldust inevitably moves.



Goldust goes right after the bad leg, slamming the stairs on it. The announcers all comment on how it's sorta weird that Earl Hebner is just looking the other way on all of this, and they also mention that he easily could have counted both men out by now. Goldust returns HHH inside and continues the limb work, dropping an elbow and then a knee onto the bad leg before grapevining it. Dustin slaps on a figure-four, which I don't think I've ever seen him use. Helmsley nearly gets counted to the mat on several occasions, and Goldust continues the blatant cheating as he grabs for leverage from the ropes. At least this time Hebner makes him stop.

Helmsley goes to try to get a rest outside the ring, but Goldust clips the bad leg and then executes a single-leg atomic drop on the steps. Jim Ross adds, "You know, I'm no fan of Helmsley, but it really seems like the referee should have disqualified Goldust." He adds the interesting comment that this referee is also assigned to the WWF Title match later, and if he's truly going to look the other way on everything then there's no telling what will happen later. I love that Jim Ross would even think ahead to make a comment like that.

Once back in the ring, Helmsley manages enough control to whip Goldust into the ropes, then he ducks for cover as Goldust spills all the way outside on a missed cross-body. HHH, selling the leg well, slowly follows the challenger out and sends him into the guardrail before slamming him into the steps. HHH, taunting the crowd, can't perform his trolling curtsey properly.



H grabs for a chair, but Hebner pulls it away from him. If wrestling was a shoot, I would be incensed at how one-sided this officiating has been. At this point they suddenly decide to turn their attention to a split-screen interview in the crowd, where Todd Pettengill is talking to…Collin Raye, a country singer who had some success in the 90s, but had no real relevance to anything in the match. Really, this is the moment for a minor celebrity appearance?

HHH drops a knee with the bad knee and then buckles hard. He manages to roll over after a while to make a pin, but only gets two. Both back up to their feet, Goldust gets the advantage with a running clothesline and then a backdrop. He climbs to the top rope, but Helmsley pushes the referee into the ropes and causes Goldust to fall crotch-first along the top. HHH tries to meet him on the top rope, Goldust knocks him off, balances on the top, then goes for a top-rope elbow that comes up empty. As Earl Hebner gets distracted while tending to Goldust, Mr. Hughes slips the title belt to HHH. Marlena up to the apron…HHH forcibly kisses her. Goldust gets the belt and waffles Helmsley with it, but Hughes pulls HHH outside during the ensuing pin attempt. Hughes gets up on the apron to further distract the referee, Goldust knocks him off the apron and plainly yells "**** you," but then turns around into a hard running clothesline that turns him inside out.



Pedigree, 1-2-3, Helmsley retains. Match wasn't alright, but it did feel too long.

Result: Hunter Hearst-Helmsley via pinfall
Rating: **1/2

We get a couple of quick backstage promos from Bret Hart and Mankind about the upcoming Rumble match.

After an entrance by the Nation of Domination, we get our recap video of the Faarooq-Ahmed Johnson feud.

Faarooq (w/ NOD) vs. Ahmed Johnson: Ahmed charges the ring and gets things off to a quick start, pounding away on Faarooq in the corner. Faarooq's attempt at taking an early break just leads Ahmed to go outside the ring to post him. Back inside, Faarooq rakes the eyes and then gathers up a belt to purportedly use as a weapon, but Ahmed hits him with a flying clothesline before he can use it. Ahmed gathers up the belt and whips him repeatedly. Back to the outside, and again Faarooq is eating the ringpost on one corner and the steps at an adjacent corner. Faarooq, desperately looking for some sort of break as he tries to get away, flings an unsuspecting D-Lo Brown into Ahmed and uses the distraction to take advantage with a clothesline.



Faarooq sets up a folding chair at ringside and then drops Ahmed on it. Then he waffles Ahmed with it right in front of referee Mike Chioda. Is this an ECW event? Every official is just taking the night off. Faarooq rolls Johnson into the ring and punts him repeatedly at or near the injured kidney area. He sets him up along the top rope horizontally and again measures him with a punt, hitting that same area. He follows with a crappy camel clutch that doesn't look like it stretches much at all. We get a contrived spot now where Faarooq carefully stands up right over Ahmed so that Ahmed can get all the way up to a vertical position to execute an electric chair drop. Both are slow to get up, Faarooq actually makes it up first, but his flying clothesline attempt from the top is countered into a powerslam.

After an Irish whip, Ahmed appears to attempt a Thesz press, but Faarooq counters into a spinebuster. Faarooq taunts the crowd, allowing Ahmed ample recovery time, and Ahmed gets up and hits his own spinebuster. The Nation jumps into the ring to come after Johnson, and apparently disqualifications really are a thing tonight; the bell rings, and we have an inconclusive Ahmed Johnson victory.



The action wasn't great, but there was some okay brawling, and the storytelling was half-decent…but, in the end, incomplete. It was basically much what you would expect from this match on paper.

Result: Ahmed Johnson via DQ
Rating: *3/4

Ahmed does fight these Nation guys off one by one, and as they attempt to retreat he grabs a random Nation member who I don't recognize, drags him back to the ring, and executes a Pearl River Plunge from the steel steps through the French(!) announce table. I can hardly imagine the horror of taking a move like that from Ahmed Johnson.



We get another quick backstage promo about the upcoming Rumble, this time from Terry Funk. I don't think that he was truly back yet; he was still working ECW, and I think that this was a one-off for the time being.

Todd Pettengill is with the Nation backstage. Faarooq yells at a couple of random Nation members for leaving him out there like that, then shoves them off camera and says he's not Ahmed Johnson, calling him an "Uncle Tom."



Vader vs. The Undertaker: They note that Jim Cornette is again not with Vader tonight, and said "he hasn't been seen a lot" since being tombstoned by Undertaker recently on Superstars. Jim Ross wonders if Vader is now a free agent. Sounds like the language of Cornette having been written off television at the time, though I know his WWF days weren't yet over.

Vader and Taker trade fists early to a stalemate, then Taker no-sells an early axhandle and chokes away at the big man in the corner. Undertaker delays though, and Vader lays in a back elbow. Vader knocks the dead man several times, but we get multiple no-sell sit-ups by Undertaker. Vader gets a bit rattled at his inability to keep Taker down, and starts going for a walk. Taker jumps from the ring apron onto Vader with an axhandle and starts running offense, laying in a couple of uppercuts. On the way back into the ring, Vader does manage to grip Undertaker's head and to hang him across the top rope. Still Vader can't keep an advantage, as his ensuing backdrop attempt just leaves Taker the opening to hit what Google tells me is called a "legdrop bulldog." You might know it as the Fameasser or the Rocker Dropper, since that's certainly all I knew it as.



Taker bodyslams Vader with ease, then drops a leg to get an early two-count. Taker walks the top rope, but Vader yanks on him and causes him to lose his balance and get crotched by the ropes. As both men slowly recover, Vader delivers a low blow to put Taker back on the mat. Todd Pettengill interviews a random teenage girl in the crowd about how she saved up money by babysitting so that she could come to this event. What the ****. Vader avalanches UT in the corner, then clotheslines him. Vader climbs to the second rope and hits a flying clothesline from there. Two-count. Jim Ross comments that one of the reasons that he thinks Cornette may be out of the picture is that this match's referee, Jack Doan, is the same one Vader hospitalized upon arrival in the company last year, and he doesn't think Cornette would have let that happen. Again with the attention to detail that Vince McMahon would never, ever have. Love JR.

Vader tries to put Taker down with a nerve hold, but Taker fights his way loose, a flurry of fists from his knees, then he executes a back suplex on the big man. He's slow to get up, and Vader dodges his ensuing elbow drop before planting his own elbow into the dead man's lower abdomen. Vader again to the second rope, but this is just a setup to jump into a counter powerslam, a spot they don't execute very well. Taker sends Vader off the ropes, drops his head, and this time it's Vader capitalizing, as he hits the powerbomb. 1, 2, no.



Undertaker fights back. Punches, kicks, flying clothesline. He goes back to scale the top rope again, and this time he succeeds in dropping the hammer from there. Out comes Paul Bearer, sauntering slowly to the ring as Undertaker executes a chokeslam. Despite Taker's brief distraction, he clotheslines Vader out over the top, then attends to business by bailing outside and slugging Bearer. He rolls Paul Bearer inside, sees that Vader has re-entered, dumps Bearer back out and clotheslines Vader over the top. He sets Vader against the steel guardrail and gets a running start to jump at him, but Bearer gets Vader out of the way. As Taker tries to recover from this, Bearer gets up on the apron and jumps off with an urn to the back of Taker's head. Lawler: "Paul sacrificed his own body to do away with The Undertaker!" JR: "That's quite a sacrifice."



Taker slowly makes his way back in, but Vader is quick to hit the Vaderbomb and ship the win. In the span of two weeks, Vader pins Bret Hart and The Undertaker…as badly as things went off the rails for Vader in late summer/early fall of 1996, WWF was still keeping some sort of hope alive for him.

Result: Vader via pinfall
Rating: **3/4

Vader and Bearer leave together, arm in arm.



After Undertaker wakes up, he gets mad and chokeslams Jack Doan before throwing a tantrum and tossing over the timekeeper table outside, then threatening Vince McMahon before leaving.



Backstage, Steve Austin tells the cameraman to leave him alone, says he isn't talking to anyone until he throws 29 pieces of trash out of the ring in the Rumble. Next, Davey Boy Smith is entering the arena, and unleashes his greatest promo ever. "I've got a history in Royal Rumbles, and tonight I'm gonna remake history by winning tonight's Royal Rumble, tonight, because I'm bizarre!"



Fuerza Guerrera, Heavy Metal, & Jerry Estrada vs. Hector Garza, Perro Aguayo, & Canek: This is Perro Aguayo, Sr. It was his son, Perro Aguayo, Jr., who suffered that tragic in-ring accident that took his life in 2015, in the tag match involving Rey Mysterio, Jr. Fuerza Guerrera is Juventud's father.

Heavy Metal kicks things off here against Garza, and the two trade armdrags. Some back-and-forth chain wrestling on the mat between the two, and without any real advantage gained on either side, both tag out, and we reset at Aguayo and Estrada. Estrada puts Aguayo down with a clothesline, then chops him back to the mat. Aguayo backdrops him over the top, but Estrada lands on his feet and takes a breather.

We again reset, now Canek vs. Guerrera. Canek with a clothesline, Guerrera with a corner whip and a clothesline of his own. Fuerza follows with a bodyslam, climbs to the top and takes far too long to attempt a somersault splash. Canek dodges, goes for a cross-body, barely connects, and now both tag out and we're back to Garza vs. Heavy Metal. So is anyone going to try to keep an advantage or actually win the match or something? This feels like the least organic match you could see. Metal hits a heel kick, then counters an Irish whip with a handspring back elbow. Garza jumps to the top in one fell swoop, and jumps off with an armdrag. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Garza. He sends Metal off the ropes, Metal jumps onto the second rope on his way into it and backflips off. Garza shakes his hand and they both tag out. This match is very weird.



Aguayo vs. Estrada again. Oh, wait, a twist; Aguayo immediately tags Canek in, so I guess we at least get a fresh matchup. They had been recycling the same pairings up to this point. Estrada and Canek do a test of strength, leading Estrada to do a monkey-flip. Canek does his own monkey-flip. Couple of armdrags by Canek, a dropkick, and another armdrag. Canek misses on a corner charge, Estrada schoolboy gets two, and again it's time to tag out, with the two old guys (Guerrera, 44, and Aguayo, 51) set to face off. Chops, dropkicks, armdrags…whatever. This is trash. Heavy Metal and Canek tag in. Canek with a clothesline. He starts working the left leg, then isolates and tags Garza in, giving us our first indication that anyone actually wants to win the match. Garza continues the offense on Metal, slapping on an STF before Estrada breaks it up. Garza tags Aguayo to continue the attack, and it appears that we have an actual heat segment.

Heavy Metal sidesteps Canek, goes behind him and holds him up, Fuerza Guerrera in with a dropkick, but Canek ducks away and Guerrera dropkicks his own partner. Canek with a press slam. We have two pairings going at it now, at least for a moment, but the match seems to reset at Garza vs. Estrada. Garza backdrops Estrada to the floor, climbs the ropes, hits his signature corkscrew plancha to the floor (every match involving Hector Garza in the United States basically amounted to waiting around until he hit his corkscrew plancha).



On the inside of the ring Canek press-slams Heavy Metal. Aguayo with a semi-botched double stomp off the top, records the pin, and mercifully this thing is over. The crowd was 100% dead for all of this, but after the match, there's suspiciously a bunch of crowd noise during tight shots on the wrestlers.

Result: Hector Garza, Perro Aguayo, & Canek via pinfall
Rating: 1/2*

Vince sends it to Howard Finkel in the ring, who proudly announces the attendance number of 60,477. Sid promised us 70,000 Mexicans from Mexico on this past Raw, so that number Fink just announced doesn't seem that great.

30-Man Royal Rumble: At #1…"We are the Nation of Domination." It's not Faarooq; it's Crush. And at #2, we get Ahmed Johnson. Jim Ross mentions that the time between entries is going to be 90 seconds. I hate it when they shorten it below two minutes. We get early clock difficulty, and perhaps music difficulty as well? Razor Ramon 2.0 is out at #3 without any announcement, and gets dumped by Ahmed right away. Faarooq shows up at ringside and Ahmed jumps over the top and eliminates himself to go running after him, leaving Crush as the only one in. The music is back for #4, Phineas Godwinn. The clock is still ****ed, so we don't get an actual countdown…we just get glass shattering to signal the arrival of #5, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Phineas dumps Crush, Austin dumps Phineas, and briefly gets the ring to himself as the clock runs out to cue Bart Gunn. Austin eliminates him in short order as well, does some push-ups in the center, then sits on the top rope and checks his imaginary watch as he awaits another opponent. Next up is Jake Roberts. Austin gets rid of Jake as we await the arrival of #8. Out comes the bizarre one…Davey Boy Smith, not Goldust. The Bulldog, basically working face as JR teases that there is backstage dissension between Bulldog and Owen Hart, does take the fight to Austin and at least manages to least until #9. 9 is Pierroth, "a notorious rulebreaker in AAA" per JR. #10 is The Sultan. The ring continues to fill up, as Mil Mascaras enters at #11. #12 is HHH. Hunter is out by himself, so I'm just going to assume that Mr. Hughes got future-endeavored since the opener. Bulldog gives us our first elimination in a good while, as he dumps The Sultan.



#13 is Owen Hart, who passes his Slammy off to a ringside referee and enters. He quickly adds fuel to the rumor that there are problems between he and Bulldog. Right away Owen goes after Austin, and seems to work with Bulldog against him. A moment later though, Bulldog and Austin are tied up and trying to eliminate each other along the ropes, at which point Owen seems to try to dump both but only succeeds in dumping Bulldog out. Owen claims that it was an accident as Bulldog yells at him before leaving.



#14 is Goldust. 15 is Cibernetico. Goldust nearly dumps HHH as Marc Mero enters at #16. Cibernetico was eliminated off-camera, and Pierroth is dumped by Mil Mascaras on-camera. Mascaras, like a dope, eliminates himself by climbing the ropes and jumping to the floor at Pierroth. Only Randy Savage gets to jump to the floor and then just re-enter like nothing happened, so Mascaras is turned away when he goes back in. Goldust clotheslines Helmsley over the top rope. #17 is Latin Lover, who promptly connects on a stiff superkick on Owen. Owen nearly gets eliminated, but skins the cat and pulls himself back into the ring, then takes the opportunity to get rid of Goldust. Faarooq enters at #18, and quickly eliminates Latin Lover. Ahmed Johnson runs in with a 2x4 and eliminates Faarooq. Apparently we're also not operating under the 1996 rules where it doesn't count when an eliminated wrestler (Vader) re-enters and throws someone out.

As the camera follows Faarooq and Ahmed, Steve Austin apparently eliminates both Owen Hart and Marc Mero to once again clear the ring. Enter Savio Vega at #19. Exit Savio Vega before #20. I believe that Stone Cold is up to six eliminations at this point. He's tired, face down on the mat, but with one of his arms he reaches back and signals as if to say "bring on the next victim." 20 is Double J Jesse James. Austin tosses him in less than a minute. Austin props himself back up on the top rope and awaits his next competitor…as the clock runs down, we hear the electric guitar squeals that mark the entrance of Bret Hart. And as we hear that music, Steve Austin makes a rare, strange character misstep, as he suddenly gives off a really frightened look at the prospect of Bret's arrival.



Like…really? He's suddenly scared of Bret Hart? That's totally inconsistent with his character in general, and totally inconsistent with his entire approach specifically to Bret Hart. That's an absurd reaction. Anyway, he quickly shakes it off and puts on a serious face to take the Hitman on; I think that Austin just had a temporary bad instinct for a reaction. They battle until #22, at which point we hear The Great Gate of Kiev. Lawler stands up from the announce table, says, "It takes a king," enters the ring, and Bret immediately knocks him out. Lawler returns to announce saying, "To know a king. I told you!" "You told us what?" "It takes a king to know a king." Lawler goes on pretending not to know that he was in the ring. Entrant #23 is Diesel 2.0. 24 is Terry Funk. 25 is Rocky Maivia. 26 is Mankind, who goes straight after Terry Funk. 27 is Flash Funk. Bret Hart hits a piledriver on Steve Austin.



Vader comes in at #28. Henry Godwinn at 29. Undertaker gets the last spot at 30, and now we're into generic battle royal mode. Vader tosses Flash Funk out with authority. Taker flings Henry Godwinn over the top to the floor. Mankind puts the Mandible Claw on Rocky and forces him backward, over the ropes and out. Lawler comments, "I would just like to see Mankind and Terry Funk as a team!" He'll get his wish at a later date, but right after he says that, Mankind eliminates Funk. Undertaker eliminates Mankind, and Mankind and Funk continue battling on the floor. We're down to five people, including four legitimate superstars and Diesel 2.0. I always think it's funny when some totally out-of-place guy is still hanging around at this point. Bret Hart unceremoniously tosses Austin out. The crowd pops big for this even though they were reacting positively to Austin's dominance earlier in the match.



Officials seemingly all miss this elimination, and Austin comes back into the ring and dumps both Taker and Vader at the same time.



As he's doing this, Bret tosses Diesel to be the last legal one standing, but Austin sneaks up behind, eliminates Bret, and gets declared the winner despite clearly having been eliminated.



Result: Steve Austin via referee incompetence
Rating: N/A, I dunno, don't really know how to rate these

Bret Hart is, of course, livid. He throws a fit at the officials, grabs Vince McMahon by the jacket and screams at him to do something about this, then leaves angrily.



After a hype video for the main event, we see an interview from earlier today with Shawn Michaels, who is apparently flu-ridden. We get the big match treatment where we watch the competitors make their way through the locker room before parting the curtain. Shawn Michaels is wearing a truly terrible outfit.



WWF Title - Sid (c) vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario): The "hometown favorite" effect is real with this crowd, as Shawn gets an overwhelmingly positive reaction and Sid is greeted as a heel. The two men stare down in the middle, as Sid shoves Shawn to the mat a couple of times. Shawn ducks a clothesline and hits a cross-body, then slams Sid's head into the mat several times. He kicks the champ to the floor and stands triumphant. He makes sure to break the count so as not to win by countout, and eventually heads out to go fight on the floor. Sid reverses a whip to send Michaels into the apron, then threatens a press slam, but Shawn rakes the eyes to get Sid to drop him. Back inside, Sid scores an early near-fall when Shawn attempts to re-enter with a cross-body and Sid counters into a powerslam. Pete Lothario is shown sitting at a ringside seat, so the powerbomb on Raw didn't keep him from showing up.

Sid slaps on a camel clutch. When Shawn attempts to escape, Sid keeps hammering him down and reapplying the hold. Michaels eventually escapes (after Sid loudly tells him to) and fights back. Shawn attempts a corner whip, but Sid reverses and Shawn hits the corner hard, spilling out all the way to the floor. The champ heads outside, picks HBK up, and slams him back-first into the ringpost multiple times. He returns things inside to record a two-count. Sid kneels and applies kind of a surfboard. I'm just now realizing that Sid is actually working a body part (the back)…I didn't realize that he even thought about things like that. Michaels fights his way out of the hold, but Sid puts him down violently with a clothesline.



After soaking in a bunch of heat from the crowd, Sid goes for a lax cover and gets two. Executes a corner whip; Michaels stumbles out, and Sid slaps on a bearhug. HBK tries to fight his way out of the hold as his parents are shown watching with concern from the audience. Michaels jars his way loose with an inverted atomic drop, then throws a forearm from the second rope. Tries to follow with another forearm from the opposite corner, but Sid simply catches him into another bearhug. They talk about the flu that Shawn has, and what factor it might be playing. You could probably maximize the "valiantly fighting through illness" thing by actually puking, but they seemed to be saving that for Darren Drozdov.

Sid drops a big leg, makes another lax cover, gets a two-count. Shawn launches the babyface comeback, slamming Sid and then hitting the flying forearm before kipping up. Points deducted for doing a kip-up with no issues during a match where the whole story has been "big, dominating dude has been relentlessly working your back over." Michaels with an elbow off the top. Sets up the superkick, stomps on the mat, Sid catches his foot, spins Michaels around, Michaels ducks a clothesline but Sid backdrops him out of the ring. He follows him out and powerbombs him (really softly) on the floor. Jose Lothario tries running interference and Sid grabs him in a chokehold. Pete Lothario jumps the rail and tries to step in, but he chokes Pete with the other hand. Pat Patterson tries to get Sid to let them go, but Sid kicks him away.



He does let go when Michaels regains his feet, and the action heads back into the ring. Sid reverses a corner whip, directly into referee Earl Hebner, and we have a ref bump. Sid hits a chokeslam and gets a visual pin, but Hebner is out. Referee Mike Chioda slides in as a substitute, but only gets to a two-count before HBK kicks out. As Sid attacks Shawn in the corner, Chioda tries to back him down, and Sid clocks Chioda to send him sprawling out of the ring. Jose Lothario gets up on the apron, which distracts Sid. Michaels grabs a videocamera from ringside and hammers Sid with it twice. Hebner is still down, slowly crawls over, 1-2-no. Even after the long delay it was a believable near-fall.



HBK follows up quickly though, connecting on the superkick. Hebner is slow to start the count, but this time he gets to three. A massive pop goes up from the crowd, and Shawn Michaels has regained the gold.

Result: "…and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion," Shawn Michaels via pinfall
Rating: **3/4



Shawn soaks it in from the crowd and takes a victory lap around ringside. Amid the celebration, the show signs off.

Overall: Despite not having any great matches, it felt like a perfectly watchable PPV. I like the booking throughout the night. Aside from that awful lucha 6-man tag, I have no real complaints.

I'm sure you also know that Vader main events the next months ppv in a very memorable match. It's a shame that they gave the push to Sid instead of Vader. Vader in WCW (minus Hogan) is one of the best runs of any wrestler, ever. I was so excited when Vader jumped to WWF but his booking wet the bed.

Not only does he main event that match, but he MVPs it. Been looking forward to getting to that one. If it's as good on rewatch as I remember it being, it's one of the more underrated WWF/WWE matches.

man, i know this isnt the michaels/austin year. its bret/austin. but i have zero recollection reading how we get from michaels/austin to wrestlemania in a month. excited to see it shake out

I remember the build to this Mania being pretty tremendous even though the Mania itself is one GOAT match and a bunch of absolute garbage. Should be fun to go through the build.

One thing I did notice in looking ahead: the next two Raws are in the same city, so obviously two episodes got taped in one night, but after that they're in a different city every week. It looks like we're right on the verge of weekly live Raws. Seems likely to help the overall quality given how they mail in many of the taped shows.

I'm almost certain they dispensed with the mass Raw tapings and went to two hours after the Thursday Raw in early February where Shawn lost his smile. Still a few taped Raws to come, though, they basically taped a couple of overseas house shows to put on Monday night. They wouldn't go fully live until right after one of those.

Here's what's coming up, at least according to prowrestling wiki:



There is a South Africa show in the future as well, but it's after Mania. Thursday Raw is only five episodes away.

All of this exciting upcoming WWF stuff makes me roll my eyes about what might be coming in WCW, but hopefully I'm being overly pessimistic on that front. This thing will get WCW-heavy during the next few posts. It's going to look like Raw-Nitro-Clash-Souled Out-Nitro-Raw.

-Rather odd that Royal Rumble 97 comes off as so packed full of stars looking back even though WWF was at perhaps the lowest point it had been business wise since Vince Jr. took over the company.

-Shawn Michaels is one of the most thoroughly unlikable people to ever be pushed as the top face of a company for a significant period of time. And this is coming from someone who was a fan of Michaels as an in ring wrestler since Michaels was about 20 years old. At least Hogan, Nash, and Warrior have that "I'd like to have a beer with them" quality because they are interesting. 90s Michaels was a selfish addicted diva while simultaneously a stupid boor. And his attempted on screen top face character has the ultimate duo of face doom of seeming both phony and boring. I don't care how good of an athlete he is; had WWF gone out of business as it supposedly nearly did around this time, Michaels as top face would have been near the top of the list of reasons why.

This is 1997, that was 1998.

Did you read his first sentence

Man, Warrior would have been extremely low on my "have a beer with" list. Probably lower than Michaels.

On reflection, Warrior might be someone better enjoyed from afar than up close and in person. In pre-internet, pre-shoot 1990 I thought Warrior was someone that would likely be fun to party with.

I never understood - and still don't understand - how over Luger was as a face during this period. He can't work or talk and he's not particularly likable.

The look was more important back then. Nobody cared about great workrate as long as you could be passable. Also, from jumpstreet in the late 80's he was surrounded by the greats working with and against The Four Horsemen. He got by after 95 on reputation imo.

It always irked me how he landed the same way on his back for every bump. Always with one knee up and like he was in the morgue.

Luger's overness outpaced his actual talents, but he had a fairly significant amount of charisma and, importantly, he got the beastmode push where he just got to wreck a new guy every week.

Things are obviously a bit difference in the Roman Reigns era, but back in this time, that kind of push would get you over as long as it was believable that you really could be that dominant. Between the look, as iso noted, and the fact that Luger could get massive guys up in the Torture Rack, his dominance didn't require a big suspension of disbelief.

Can't wait for the Souled Out recap. And by "can't wait", I mean "so glad you're reviewing this and not me".

You have singlehandedly made me dread that upcoming show. It's probably subconsciously slowing down my progress across the board.

I don't believe I've seen it.